Traveling with teen siblings

[MerryPoppins]

Well, believe it or not my brother and I were 4 years apart and always shared a bed on vacation. My family couldn't afford other options and to be honest I never even gave it a second thought. I was thrilled to be going somewhere.

I've never ASKED my kids if it was a problem, but they're not shy. I'm sure they'd complain if they had a huge problem with it. I'd make a bed on the floor or get a roll-away if they were freaked out. But then they'd be fighting over who was going to get the bed.

They ask how many beds there are going to be and sometimes go but it's always about hogging covers and getting kicked or elbowed or something like that. To me these are issues that you just live with. They'd say the same if DD slept with me and DS slept with DH. DH and I usually share a queen and on vacation we share a full bed. We have the same issues, but we live with it. It's worth it to be on vacation.

 

[RickinNYC]

Nope, not an option. I have to have DH next to me!

Ummmmm.... whyyyyyyy? I think it's pretty sweet that you want to have your husband by your side, but it's not the end of the world if you don't. Besides, if it's because of some intimacy you'd like to share, then I can't imagine you'd want to do so with the kids in the bed next to you. So what's the big deal? Just kinda confused as to why it's not an option.

I think the best idea is to get another room, with a connecting door.

 

[Disney Doll]

sorry DisneyDoll I have to disagree with you on this one.

I have two teen boys. They are very hyper-charged at that age. I just don't know how else to say it other than.....

NO WAY would I put a 13 year old girl in the same bed with that.

Like I said, I am amazed. I guess that means you folks don't leave the teenagers home alone together, do you? I mean, you never know what those hormone crazed teenage boys are going to do to their sisters if there are no parents around, huh?

 

[minniecarousel]

Hey - I have two boys and they decided as pre-teens that sharing a bed was no longer an option, so we'd either get a rollaway, or one slept on the floor. No big deal! (for driving vacations, taking the aero bed was always along - easy to use & comfy)

 

[poohandwendy]

Whoooa, I don't think anyone has suggested that they cannot be TRUSTED alone in a bed, only that they would be uncomfortable. Two entirely different things.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

again DisneyDoll - it has absolutely nothing to do with any physical desire or atrraction either of them might have.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Whoooa, I don't think anyone has suggested that they cannot be TRUSTED alone in a bed, only that they would be uncomfortable. Two entirely different things.

Exactly!

 

[Disney Doll]

Do you think sleeping apart from your husband is so horrible that you would make your teenagers of the opposite sex sleep together? What is the big deal in not being up your SO's rear for a couple of weeks for the comfortness of your kids? I think it's selfish.

They don't have to sleep together. One can sleep on an aerobed. I just think it's over the top that people are implying by their responses that having a teenage brother & sister share a bed on vacation will somehow warp them, or create a situation where the teenage boy won't be able to control himself around his sister.

I just don't get it.

 

[Disney Doll]

honestly - if this is the case...there are WAY worse issues going on.

I agree

 

[Disney Doll]

again DisneyDoll - it has absolutely nothing to do with any physical desire or atrraction either of them might have.

Well, I guess it's one of those things that I just don't understand.

The best response to to OP is to do whatever you feel is best for your family, it's beliefs and concerns about behavior or physical responses to situations I guess.

 

[disykat]

I am only 43, so it wasn't 100 years ago that we went on afmaily vacations, slept 4 to a room (me, Mom, Dad, older DB). We actually had to :::gasp:::share a bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually, on occasion, saw my brother in his underwear . We were actually required to speak to each other in a respectful manner and be considerate of everyone's needs when travelling.

In this scenario everyone is assuming they will share a bathroom. That's not the issue. It's whether you should expect teens of the opposite sex to share a bed when they are not comfortable with it - when there is the easy option of splitting the beds by girls and boys. What we are talking about IS being considerate of each other's needs. If my young kids complained - tough. But if my teenagers are having personal space issues that fall within the realm of reasonable - I'm going to show them the respect of listening to their issues and making some compromises.

 

[NMAmy]

They don't have to sleep together. One can sleep on an aerobed. I just think it's over the top that people are implying by their responses that having a teenage brother & sister share a bed on vacation will somehow warp them, or create a situation where the teenage boy won't be able to control himself around his sister.

I just don't get it.

I don't really get it, either, dd. I didn't have brothers growing up but I did have cousins. We'd come across country together in a motorhome. A lot of times, we'd be driving through the night and we'd all take turns. One person would get out of bed, the one who'd been driving would take his or her spot. Everyone had their own sleeping bag but you were never sure who'd you wake up with. My mom, my aunt, and my uncle were all within spitting distance. Believe me, none of us were interested in each other that way--nor did any weird situations arise.

So, no, I don't think it so odd that teen brothers and sisters would share a bed in a hotel room two feet away from their parents.

 

[IceQueen777]

Like I said, I am amazed. I guess that means you folks don't leave the teenagers home alone together, do you? I mean, you never know what those hormone crazed teenage boys are going to do to their sisters if there are no parents around, huh?

Um...I think people mean that like it or not, certain physical things happen to teenage boys during the night and in the morning. It would be extremely uncomfortable for a teenage girl to accidentally witness this bodily function (not to mention for the poor boy!). It is about dignity. Even teenagers deserve to have dignity!

You wouldn't want a sibling of yours to walk in on you in the bathroom while you were performing a normal bodily function, would you? How would this be any different?

I think you are just using this topic to be able to bash parents for coddling their kids. All you have to do is look at your first post on this thread to see that you obviously had to get that off your chest.

 

[lulugirl]

In this scenario everyone is assuming they will share a bathroom. That's not the issue. It's whether you should expect teens of the opposite sex to share a bed when they are not comfortable with it - when there is the easy option of splitting the beds by girls and boys. What we are talking about IS being considerate of each other's needs. If my young kids complained - tough. But if my teenagers are having personal space issues that fall within the realm of reasonable - I'm going to show them the respect of listening to their issues and making some compromises.

Well stated.

 

[Bob Slydell]

In this scenario everyone is assuming they will share a bathroom. That's not the issue. It's whether you should expect teens of the opposite sex to share a bed when they are not comfortable with it - when there is the easy option of splitting the beds by girls and boys. What we are talking about IS being considerate of each other's needs. If my young kids complained - tough. But if my teenagers are having personal space issues that fall within the realm of reasonable - I'm going to show them the respect of listening to their issues and making some compromises.

That's really the main issue here. If my teenaged kids told me they were uncomfortable (for whatever reason) sleeping with their sibling and there was a simple solution to it (e.g. splitting my DW and I up), to me that seems like a no brainer.

 

[Mimi Q]

No way I would make them share a bed. They are way too old for that.

 

[Skatermom23]

Well, I guess it's one of those things that I just don't understand.

The best response to to OP is to do whatever you feel is best for your family, it's beliefs and concerns about behavior or physical responses to situations I guess.

I asked DD and DS when they came home today what they would prefer:
1. An aerobed and use extra money saved to do more activites
OR
2. Seperate connecting bedroom

DD wants the aerobed and DS wants the extra bedroom...
So, after discussing the SPECIFIC activities that he would get out of this deal, DD and DS have agreed that DD will sleep on aero bed! Thanks to those that were not judgemental and understood that I just wanted to go to sleep holding DH's hand...We will be in paradise after all and spent our honeymoon there!
Any objections to our sending the kids to the pool in the afternoon so we can have a few minutes alone??? Or is that going to create some problem that I haven't thought of??

 

[minkydog]

Any objections to our sending the kids to the pool in the afternoon so we can have a few minutes alone??? Or is that going to create some problem that I haven't thought of??

Heck no I bet your DH would even give 'em $20

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Thanks to those that were not judgemental and understood that I just wanted to go to sleep holding DH's hand...We will be in paradise after all and spent our honeymoon there!

Call me judgemental all you want, the fact remains that you put your needs and wants above all. You were all too willing to have the teenagers share a bed so that you could sleep next to your husband I just don't get it.

 

[cardaway]

Any objections to our sending the kids to the pool in the afternoon so we can have a few minutes alone??? Or is that going to create some problem that I haven't thought of??

It's really sounding like you should take separate adult vacation and stop trying turn a family one into an adult one.