Traveling with teen siblings

[Bob Slydell]

Any objections to our sending the kids to the pool in the afternoon so we can have a few minutes alone??? Or is that going to create some problem that I haven't thought of??

Just make sure you lock the door once they're gone.

 

[MerryPoppins]

What we are talking about IS being considerate of each other's needs.

And I have no problem with that. If my kids expressed a desire to sleep apart because they were uncomfortable, I'd find a way.

What bothered me is the fact that many were saying having them sleep together is "inappropriate". THAT's judgemental and inconsiderate, in my opinion.

And I also resent the "I can't believe it's okay with them". I know my own family better than you do. I've raised two well-rounded, intelligent, straight A kids, who are not afraid to talk to me about what makes them uncomfortable. We're not afraid for members of our family to see us in our underwear - in fact we don't think anything of it. Have you ever stopped to think that not all families are like yours? And that your way isn't the only way that is right? We give our kids space when they express a need, but if they don't express it I'm not going to go out of my way to give it to them on vacation.

This thread makes it sound like I'm not a good parent for not getting another bed. I don't have a problem with any of you making special sleeping arrangements, if that is what works for you. Just please don't tell me that I'm being a bad parent because I don't see things the same way you do.

 

[cardaway]

Just make sure you lock the door once they're gone.

And close the drapes completely.

 

[skiwee1]

Just make sure you lock the door once they're gone.

And take away their room keys! I can hear it now. Sorry kids but mom and dad "want to hold hands" so gives us back the room keys! LMAO! How pathetic. I must pat DH and I on the back for the control we have when taking a family vacation! LOL!

 

[Marseeya]

Call me judgemental all you want, the fact remains that you put your needs and wants above all. You were all too willing to have the teenagers share a bed so that you could sleep next to your husband I just don't get it.

That's the way I'm reading it too.

We've gone on many family trips where DH and I had to sleep separately and it never killed us. I'm not some lovesick teeny bopper mooning over some boy.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

um well....
for an extra $800 over how many nights?

you and your DH could have all the extra minutes you wanted.

 

[Skatermom23]

Call me judgemental all you want, the fact remains that you put your needs and wants above all. You were all too willing to have the teenagers share a bed so that you could sleep next to your husband I just don't get it.

If I was all too willing, I wouldn't have posted on here asking for options from families who have been there, done that!!!!

 

[TurboKitty]

Just make sure you lock the door once they're gone.

And close the drapes completely.

Oh yes, unlike all the other times you've been alone with your husband of 19 years.... When you've just nudged the door so it's not maybe ajar but not open and left the drapes wide open for all passerbys to admire your technique.

Glad you found a solution that works for your family and I hope you all have a great time. Just sorry you had to go through some strange leaps of conclusions and judgement passed down.

 

[Skatermom23]

Oh yes, unlike all the other times you've been alone with your husband of 19 years.... When you've just nudged the door so it's not maybe ajar but not open and left the drapes wide open for all passerbys to admire your technique.

QUOTE]


I think I like your sense of humor!

 

[rascalmom]

DD (13) and DS (15) are protesting loudly at the thought of having to share a bed in a hotel.

I think teens of the opposite sex being expected to share a bed is inappropriate.

Merrypoppins - I think this is what makes the OP's situation different than yours - your kids are not protesting at having to share. Having them be agreeable about it & expecting them to do so when they have objections are two different situations. I have 2 dd's, so I can't say for certain what I would do in your situation. I had a younger brother though - and NOBODY in the family wanted to sleep with him - HE KICKED!

I don't think the "ick" factor discussed on the thread has anything to do with whether the kids are good kids or not, any latent or feared sexual undercurrent with a sibling, but simply a personal space & privacy issue that some families are more comfortable with. YMMV

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I say leave the kids at home and take an adult vacation. It really sounds like you can't keep your paws off your husband long enough to share a room with your kids. Seriously though, pay extra and get an adjoining room. That way you can snuggle-bunny with your man til your heart's content and your kids will have their own bed.

Geez.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Maybe so, but that's not how it felt.

Even if not, it's time for me to walk away and get some things done around here. I know what is working for my family, so I guess it doesn't matter what other people think.

Carry on. And best of luck to the OP with the upcoming trip.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

Nope, not an option. I have to have DH next to me!

If a cot or air mattress is not an option for you, and sleeping without your DH is not an option, you are not being very flexible so you should really just get a second room. Teenage siblings of the opposite sex should not be sleeping in the same bed together!!

 

[jgmklmhem]

I was a camp counselor for a few summers where I as the counselor would be in the same cabin with boys aged anywhere btw 4th grade up till 10th depending on which week it was (rotated young and old age groups). Now granted this just my assumption but probably pretty valid...but there was not more than maybe one morning a week that went by when I had a guy not wanting to get out of bed due to a certain embarassing feature and this was all with guys etc in the room. I could not imagine what it would do to a guy to have his sister hit him without even knowing it or even worse realizing what was there. It is a perfectly natural thing to occur and could have no relation to who was in the bed with the guy (could have been dreaming about that girl in the bikini that was at the pool or nothing at all), but I just don't think I would ever put a teenaged boy through that potential embarassment. Seeing as I believe almost all who have posted to this thread are women I just don't think you could ever fully understand and I doubt very seriously that any DS would ever come out and talk to the parents (male or female) about such issues no matter how open they are about other things.

 

[poohandwendy]

I was a camp counselor for a few summers where I as the counselor would be in the same cabin with boys aged anywhere btw 4th grade up till 10th depending on which week it was (rotated young and old age groups). Now granted this just my assumption but probably pretty valid...but there was not more than maybe one morning a week that went by when I had a guy not wanting to get out of bed due to a certain embarassing feature and this was all with guys etc in the room. I could not imagine what it would do to a guy to have his sister hit him without even knowing it or even worse realizing what was there. It is a perfectly natural thing to occur and could have no relation to who was in the bed with the guy (could have been dreaming about that girl in the bikini that was at the pool or nothing at all), but I just don't think I would ever put a teenaged boy through that potential embarassment. Seeing as I believe almost all who have posted to this thread are women I just don't think you could ever fully understand and I doubt very seriously that any DS would ever come out and talk to the parents (male or female) about such issues no matter how open they are about other things.

I totally understand, not from experience, but from having a 16 yo son...you just have to respect their privacy in this way, no questions asked. I think you described very well what most of us were thinking about, without being lewd. Thank you.

 

[TurboKitty]

If a cot or air mattress is not an option for you, and sleeping without your DH is not an option, you are not being very flexible so you should really just get a second room. Teenage siblings of the opposite sex should not be sleeping in the same bed together!!

For all those who didn't bother to read the whole thread...

She talked to her kids and gave them options. They finally concluded an aerobed was the way to go, and they are all happy with the arrangement, as seen in post #77 back on page 6.

FTR, I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a bed with my same sex child. I am a cuddler, and I would not be comfortable at the thought of snuggling my daughter while I slept. There may be other reasons than y'all assume here.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am glad that the OP has come to an acceptable outcome. And, I hope they have a wonderful trip!

However, this discussion has kind of gone beyond that.

I feel very strongly that it is inappropriate to expect two teens to sleep together. Would you men out there want to sleep with your sister? Would you women out there want to sleep with your brothers. I am willing be bet my last dollar that you would want your own sleeping space. Remember, I am not talking about one night in a pinch, but for the duration....

And, if anyone thinks that this has to do with what they might try with each other. JEEZ!!!! That is just sick. That has nothing to do with why everyone here thinks it is inappropriate.

I agree that the OP is having unrealistic feelings about a second honeymoon here. Just the thought of her wanting to snuggle with her DH while her two adolescent kids are sitting there, very very physically, emotionally, and psychologically uncomfortable, in the next bed...

Sorry, but, as the old saying goes...

"Get a room...."

And, just how many nights is this trip??? Isn't it well over a week!!! For goodness sakes, just cut the trip a few nights shorter, and that would almost pay for separate rooms!!

The OP isn't wanting to give anything up, but she was wanting her kids give in.

 

[Minnesota!]

Well, believe it or not my brother and I were 4 years apart and always shared a bed on vacation. My family couldn't afford other options and to be honest I never even gave it a second thought. I was thrilled to be going somewhere.

I agree completely. My brother (4 years younger) and i shared a bed (at home) for many years. And whenever we would go on vacation (from WDW to weeks at our cabin) we always shared a bed. No funny stuff ever occured. Never even crossed either one of our minds. To this day - I wouldn't hesitate to sleep next to my brother. I would probably choose him OVER my DH - my brother doesn't snore!

 

[azgal81]

I can not believe this thread is this long. Who knows how that happened all she asked what to do with the sleeping situation of her teens. To the OP Aerobeds are so comfortable I slept on one all summer once becuase I was sick of my bed I'm sure you're kids will be fine on it. You could have made them sleep on the same bed but you didn't which shows that you are flexible and do care that your kids are uncomfortable to share a bed. I also do not think you are wrong to want to share a bed with your husband on vacation. It is your vacation as well not just your kids. My parents used to kick my brother and I out of the hotel room all the time when we were vacationing telling us to go swim or go play video games. I'm sure they were having their own fun back in the room! Afterall 12 days is a long time to go without being intimate with your partner.

 

[rigs32]

I know it's resolved, but there's another concern I didn't see mentioned involving post-pubescent males and fluids at night....