travel softball ?

[lovin'fl]

I have 3 kids. My oldest DD is the multiple sport athlete. It is her lifesblood and I could never take it away from her. That said, I have always wished she were my youngest child instead because - yes - her commitments have been hard on our younger two children over the years.

Just to ease your mind, we also have a DS who is 2 years older than DDs. While he played a bunch of sports as well as karate for a couple years and boy scouts, he was never into any of that stuff and didn't do any competitive/travel teams. By around age 14, he quit all that stuff. It was an issue as we'd leave him at home while we were at the field all day Saturday and Sunday (when we played local-ish). He started to get into trouble as he had a little too much freedom. We did it for a couple years and then when it got really bad, DH and I began to tag team (he'd do one weekend and I'd do another or we'd each do 1 day). It stunk when I'd have to go, especially if there was drama on the team (I wished I had DH there to sit off on our own together...away from the drama). At least I was lucky that I had twin girls = same team. We have friends with 2 DDs that are 3 years apart and both do travel sports...they really have to tag team (but luckily they don't have a 3rd kid).

 

[pumpkinmomma]

I think this is the exception not the rule. Anyone who goes in debt to pay for such things is irresponsible and that is on them and not the fault of the travel team. Any parent who thinks there kids is going to get a scholarship for anything and pours money they don't have into that hobby on this assumption is not smart and again nothing to.do with being involved in travel. Travel sports do not breed this mentality, just delusional parents.

While I agree that travel sports as a whole don't necessarily breed this mentality, I think there are some travel clubs out there that definitely do push the message that they will get your kid to the next level, that you have to spend, spend, spend to get there, and that any sacrifice is worth it in the end. They tout their success in getting kids scholarships or getting kids to the draft as a recruiting pitch to lure in those parents who believe their kid is the next big thing.

We've been looking at putting our oldest into competitive sports, and one of the important things for us has been not only cost, but the culture of the club and how it fits with our child.

 

[nugov2]

While I agree that travel sports as a whole don't necessarily breed this mentality, I think there are some travel clubs out there that definitely do push the message that they will get your kid to the next level, that you have to spend, spend, spend to get there, and that any sacrifice is worth it in the end. They tout their success in getting kids scholarships or getting kids to the draft as a recruiting pitch to lure in those parents who believe their kid is the next big thing.

We've been looking at putting our oldest into competitive sports, and one of the important things for us has been not only cost, but the culture of the club and how it fits with our child.

That's just life in general though. There are products that do this, churches that do it and so on. We need to be educated and recognize fact from fiction. Almost everything that is a for profit company has an angle and will market themselves as best for you, but just like the ad you read for miracle diet pills, you should always be skeptical of the too good to be true sales pitch on anything.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I totally get that my nephew is irresponsible and that most people that enter travel leagues don't go into debt for it. Having said that, I think they just got too far into it before they realized all the costs and time needed. For someone just starting out, I think that they should know going in how much to budget. I think everyone wants to provide their child with the best experiences, but when it even remotely comes close to costing the stability of the family unit, I think it should be seriously questioned.

I'm willing to bet there are LOTS of other reasons for your nephew's problems, not just travel sports.

I'm going to disagree with you. Who knows if the child will still like travel ball (or any activity) in a year. The parent's financial situation could change in a year. You have no idea what can happen. If we're in a position to give our child something they want, we're going to do it (yes, that sounds like we spoil them, but we're not in that position as often as the kids would want).

I am thinking Gumbo might feel differently if he had a kid who really wanted to play.

I agree with you. I wouldn't not sign my child up for a travel team (or any activity) because of being unsure of what our situation will be in 3-4 years. Things change, kids chance, circumstances change. Course, I have battled 3 cancers, so maybe we live more in the now, then some families.

Very true, sista! These are some of the best years of our lives and we're fortunate to be able to be here for our families. Having cancer can give you a different perspective on things like time and money.

While I agree that travel sports as a whole don't necessarily breed this mentality, I think there are some travel clubs out there that definitely do push the message that they will get your kid to the next level, that you have to spend, spend, spend to get there, and that any sacrifice is worth it in the end. They tout their success in getting kids scholarships or getting kids to the draft as a recruiting pitch to lure in those parents who believe their kid is the next big thing.

That is what it's about - player development. That's why people do it. As I said in an earlier post, kids who want to play seriously often don't get the type of prep they need from local leagues, so if they want it they have to go to private leagues. No secret about that. I'd be wary of any team that promises getting scholarships to college, but the fact is that most of the players playing in college today will have had at least some exposure to the travel leagues. As I said, the landscape is changing. My DS is a HS senior now and literally every player on his varsity baseball team at one time or another played for one of the travel leagues. Just one year ago that wasn't the case. It will be even more so in the future, lots of competition out there from kids who've played at a high level. And that is what they're looking for in college, too. (We just went through the recruiting process.) Like it or not, that's the way it's headed.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I am thinking Gumbo might feel differently if he had a kid who really wanted to play.

I really don't think so. We don't have any trouble saying "no" and have done so before with local sports.

 

[nugov2]

That is what it's about - player development. That's why people do it. As I said in an earlier post, kids who want to play seriously often don't get the type of prep they need from local leagues, so if they want it they have to go to private leagues. No secret about that. I'd be wary of any team that promises getting scholarships to college, but the fact is that most of the players playing in college today will have had at least some exposure to the travel leagues. As I said, the landscape is changing. My DS is a HS senior now and literally every player on his varsity baseball team at one time or another played for one of the travel leagues. Just one year ago that wasn't the case. It will be even more so in the future, lots of competition out there from kids who've played at a high level. And that is what they're looking for in college, too. (We just went through the recruiting process.) Like it or not, that's the way it's headed.

I agree. We played a rec team that entered a local indoor tournament and it was a huge difference between skill levels. The other team just couldn't compete. You can't learn what you aren't taught and it was obvious they had never been introduced to some of the skills our girls have mastered. Their way of playing was basically kick ball vs using passing skills, ball control etc. It isn't because those girls couldn't be good players, they just aren't being exposed to the same level of training when using a parent instead of a paid coach. That could impact them later when it comes to trying out for a hs team. Not to say kids don't make hs varsity teams that didnt play travel, but it is becoming more common and will make it more difficult for those that don't. Now just because your kid plays travel doesn't mean they'll make a varsity team either, but I think it gives kids a leg up. Honestly though, you are born with talent or not and training can only take you so far. IMO you either have enough skill to build on or you don't.

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree. We played a rec team that entered a local indoor tournament and it was a huge difference between skill levels. The other team just couldn't compete. You can't learn what you aren't taught and it was obvious they had never been introduced to some of the skills our girls have mastered. Their way of playing was basically kick ball vs using passing skills, ball control etc. It isn't because those girls couldn't be good players, they just aren't being exposed to the same level of training when using a parent instead of a paid coach. That could impact them later when it comes to trying out for a hs team. Not to say kids don't make hs varsity teams that didnt play travel, but it is becoming more common and will make it more difficult for those that don't. Now just because your kid plays travel doesn't mean they'll make a varsity team either, but I think it gives kids a leg up. Honestly though, you are born with talent or not and training can only take you so far. IMO you either have enough skill to build on or you don't.

Exactly. And it's not just HS. About 1/2 of my son's middle school soccer team had travel ball experience. There are three middle schools that feed into the high school. What do you think is going to happen when these boys get to HS (assuming they're still playing)? I'm guessing by the time my son graduates, the majority of the basketball, baseball, softball, and soccer teams will be from travel ball.

 

[Hrhpd]

I do think it's one of those things that can snowball on you if you're not careful though, even if you start out with the best of intentions.

Kid is 10 going in, it's new & exciting for everyone. The cost both in time & $ works, etc. 4 years later, the amount of time & money has increased & oh BTW kid #2 wants to join a travel league and the schedules conflict. What to do now?

So, I do think it's important to think "long term" when joining up. This year is easy. The next few, maybe, maybe not.

What to do now? Pretty simple. If a family can no longer afford the sport or it is getting in the way of grades, family or anything else that a family puts a higher importance on, a good parent just says "no, not this year."

I find it strange that somebody will just avoid something completely because they might not be able to say "no" several years down the road.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

Very true, sista! These are some of the best years of our lives and we're fortunate to be able to be here for our families. Having cancer can give you a different perspective on things like time and money.
.

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

What to do now? Pretty simple. If a family can no longer afford the sport or it is getting in the way of grades, family or anything else that a family puts a higher importance on, a good parent just says "no, not this year."

I find it strange that somebody will just avoid something completely because they might not be able to say "no" several years down the road.

It's one piece of the puzzle. Since we're talking softball, call it a "strike". You're not "out" at one strike, but if there's enough of 'em

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Exactly. And it's not just HS. About 1/2 of my son's middle school soccer team had travel ball experience. There are three middle schools that feed into the high school. What do you think is going to happen when these boys get to HS (assuming they're still playing)? I'm guessing by the time my son graduates, the majority of the basketball, baseball, softball, and soccer teams will be from travel ball.

Chicken & egg. Do the best athletes come out of travel ball because of travel ball? Or, do the best athletes come out of travel ball because the best athletes went INTO travel ball? Maybe some of both?

And hey, there's no denying the more you play, the more you practice, and the better your instruction, the better your results. But, if that's the goal, travel ball isn't necessarily the only way to achieve that.

 

[bsblady01]

We just got home from the parent's meeting and we think this will be a good team for her. The team is going to be made up of all first year girls so there will not be girls above her. We have tryouts tomorrow and Saturday but we were already told she would make the team since she did the winter softball team and the coach likes what she is doing. She will pitch and play first base. We still have to go to tryouts to meet the other girls. We are very excited for our daughter to do this. We were told that the team would stay together till they age out at the end of their senior year of high school so the girls have a chance to grow as a team which makes me happy.

I would like to thank all of you guys for your advice on this.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I really don't think so. We don't have any trouble saying "no" and have done so before with local sports.

We are pretty good at saying no, too. But had we said no to this onpportunity, our DS would've missed out on a boatload of amazing experiences that helped shape him into the hard-working, disciplined kid he's become, so I'm sure glad we didn't. Athletics are really great for kids.

Chicken & egg. Do the best athletes come out of travel ball because of travel ball? Or, do the best athletes come out of travel ball because the best athletes went INTO travel ball? Maybe some of both?

And hey, there's no denying the more you play, the more you practice, and the better your instruction, the better your results. But, if that's the goal, travel ball isn't necessarily the only way to achieve that.

I'm not ready to say the "best" come out of travel ball, because that would exclude the many talented athletes that manage to succeed without it. But I think a lot of it depends on how the local leagues are where you live and how much time they put into player development. I know there are some programs who do a good job. Where I am, it didn't happen. One of our summer local leagues, which was supposed to be the league for players with more than a casual interest in the sport, was unbelievably poorly run. DS had a really good coach who actually did put time in to practices and doing the best he could, but he had no support. He was having to put his own money into paying umpires and buying equipment, at one point early in the season being $700 in the hole. After a few seasons of that he finally said enough, and quit. Fields are dangerous when not taken care of properly, so cities and towns need to be committed to caring for them. My DS injured his knee sliding into base on a bumpy infield that hadn't been properly maintained. I mean, there are a couple of options when things get that bad - either quit the sport, or figure out a better way of doing it. When you have a kid who loves to play - and I'm talking, these are kids that are never without a bat or a ball in their hands, regardless of the sport - it's only natural to let them see where it would lead them, just as you would with something like musical ability.

 

[sam_gordon]

So, I do think it's important to think "long term" when joining up. This year is easy. The next few, maybe, maybe not.

Just to bring this issue back up... do you not take your kids to Disney because they'll expect you'll take them every year?

And hey, there's no denying the more you play, the more you practice, and the better your instruction, the better your results. But, if that's the goal, travel ball isn't necessarily the only way to achieve that.

You're right. No one is saying travel ball is the only (or best) way to succeed in a sport though. However, for the MOST part, kids playing travel ball WANT to play. It's not like a rec league where kids are playing solely because their parents want them to.

We were told that the team would stay together till they age out at the end of their senior year of high school

When my son started travel soccer 4(?) years ago I even made the comment on the Dis that if/when the boys stayed together, they would be a force come HS. I was all but laughed at. Now my son is on another team in a neighboring town with two other boys he started with (there are 17 on the team). Kids change, parents change, finances change, etc.

 

[lovin'fl]

When my son started travel soccer 4(?) years ago I even made the comment on the Dis that if/when the boys stayed together, they would be a force come HS. I was all but laughed at. Now my son is on another team in a neighboring town with two other boys he started with (there are 17 on the team). Kids change, parents change, finances change, etc.

The rare teams, we have played against, that we know have been together all the way through are the best teams. But typically players move around a lot. My DDs are on the 4th team (but 3rd coach...current coach moved from 1 org to another and this is the 4th year with him). They have a core group of local girls they have played with and then the team they joined with current coach had a core group...so 2 core groups of 10 girls that they've played with for years (the other 5 players are new-ish adds that are from all over). My DDs have never quit a team during the season. We really valued and stressed the 'once you make a commitment you stick with it' philosophy. But we know girls who team hop. There is this thing about moving to a better team over winter break (they don't like how their team did or the playing time they got in the fall so they hop)...and then near the end of summer (girls will come on as guest players with the idea that they then don't need to worry about try-outs, they get a leg up on the new girls coming to try-outs because usually once they guest a bit they are locked in...or that's the hope). It really is rare to keep the same 12 girls together from 10U to HS. And if they are different ages, some will have to move up and then do you all move up. But it's a good thing to strive for. If it works out it will be a great team...and great friends.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Just to bring this issue back up... do you not take your kids to Disney because they'll expect you'll take them every year?

You're right. No one is saying travel ball is the only (or best) way to succeed in a sport though. However, for the MOST part, kids playing travel ball WANT to play. It's not like a rec league where kids are playing solely because their parents want them to.

When my son started travel soccer 4(?) years ago I even made the comment on the Dis that if/when the boys stayed together, they would be a force come HS. I was all but laughed at. Now my son is on another team in a neighboring town with two other boys he started with (there are 17 on the team). Kids change, parents change, finances change, etc.

Of course not, but there's no expectation that we're going to WDW next year just because we did it this year. Actually, the fact we did it one year is pretty much a guarantee we WON'T be back the next, or the next.

Kind of apples & oranges compared to joining a sport where it's assumed you'll keep it up year after year. Shoot, DD wants a new bowling ball. If I thought there was even the slightest chance this was her last year bowling, it would be out of the question.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We are pretty good at saying no, too. But had we said no to this onpportunity, our DS would've missed out on a boatload of amazing experiences that helped shape him into the hard-working, disciplined kid he's become, so I'm sure glad we didn't. Athletics are really great for kids.


I'm not ready to say the "best" come out of travel ball, because that would exclude the many talented athletes that manage to succeed without it. But I think a lot of it depends on how the local leagues are where you live and how much time they put into player development. I know there are some programs who do a good job. Where I am, it didn't happen. One of our summer local leagues, which was supposed to be the league for players with more than a casual interest in the sport, was unbelievably poorly run. DS had a really good coach who actually did put time in to practices and doing the best he could, but he had no support. He was having to put his own money into paying umpires and buying equipment, at one point early in the season being $700 in the hole. After a few seasons of that he finally said enough, and quit. Fields are dangerous when not taken care of properly, so cities and towns need to be committed to caring for them. My DS injured his knee sliding into base on a bumpy infield that hadn't been properly maintained. I mean, there are a couple of options when things get that bad - either quit the sport, or figure out a better way of doing it. When you have a kid who loves to play - and I'm talking, these are kids that are never without a bat or a ball in their hands, regardless of the sport - it's only natural to let them see where it would lead them, just as you would with something like musical ability.

And see, if you're in it for the experience & it's the kind of experience that appeals to you, you're in it for the right reasons.


And I would definitely move my kids to another town for sports if there were an issue with the facility or how the league is run. We picked town B over town A for a better bowling alley. Other kids pick town A for swimming because it has a 50M pool where town B has a 25M pool (then again, town B has 2 former Olympians coaching). Etc

 

[sam_gordon]

Kind of apples & oranges compared to joining a sport where it's assumed you'll keep it up year after year.

Who's doing the assuming? The coach? He shouldn't. Other players? They shouldn't. The parents? They can assume, but should also know things change. My DS plays on one of the top teams in the state. Yes, I assume he'll play again next year, but I also know he can decide he doesn't want to play. Or our finances might change and he can't play, or any of the other myriad other possibilities that keep him from playing, or if he plays, maybe it's for a different team.

 

[debster812]

We just got home from the parent's meeting and we think this will be a good team for her. The team is going to be made up of all first year girls so there will not be girls above her. We have tryouts tomorrow and Saturday but we were already told she would make the team since she did the winter softball team and the coach likes what she is doing. She will pitch and play first base. We still have to go to tryouts to meet the other girls. We are very excited for our daughter to do this. We were told that the team would stay together till they age out at the end of their senior year of high school so the girls have a chance to grow as a team which makes me happy.

I would like to thank all of you guys for your advice on this.

With all due respect, there is no way anyone can guarantee this. No.Way. Kids move on, families move away. Some will improve so much they want to seek out a higher level team. Some may plateau and not be at the proper level for the team, and may have to be cut.

My son started with his soccer club when he was 10 in their academy. He moved up to Premier at U13. From the 18 boys on that 1st U13 team, by the time they graduated High School, there were 4 of the original boys left. Some left the sport, some changed clubs, some moved away. There is no way to say the team will stay together until they age out. I'd be careful of what other promises the club/coach may be making that they cannot guarantee.

And I would go to tryouts, with the intent to participate fully. Travel teams can be a hotbed of politics and backstabbing, and for a girl to have a place on the team without going through the tryout could cause some hard feelings.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Who's doing the assuming? The coach? He shouldn't. Other players? They shouldn't. The parents? They can assume, but should also know things change. My DS plays on one of the top teams in the state. Yes, I assume he'll play again next year, but I also know he can decide he doesn't want to play. Or our finances might change and he can't play, or any of the other myriad other possibilities that keep him from playing, or if he plays, maybe it's for a different team.

Me & my kids are doing the assuming, just like you & yours.