Tragic accident

[lunsusie]

Please accept my condolences. We will keep your family in our prayers.

 

[scrump]

I'm so sorry, that is just heartbreaking.

 

[lyeag]

I am so sorry.

 

[MELSMICE]

My condolences to your family.

 

[chell]

Please know that everyone touched by this tragic event are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[GraysMom]

 

[luvmy3]

I'm so sorry, your family is in my thoughts

 

[rie'smom]

What a heartbreaking story. My prayers are with all of you.

 

[MoniqueU]

I am sure my SIL and her DH aprreciate your well wishes and prayers. Thank you all.
Does anyone any inkling of what we can do to help them in this horrible time? My mind is blank in that regards and all I can think of is just how sad it is. I would appreciate any ideas you all may have.

I also lost a son in a tragic accident and was the one to find him. Just being able to talk about how awful that was and the events that led up to it helped me a little bit. Not many people could hack listening to it without freaking out themselves. I also for the longest time carried a small picture album with his pictures in them. Any pictures you may have of their son forward on to them, they will be treasured. As bizarre as it sounds someone gave us a gift card to go out to dinner. It helped just to get away for a little bit and away from all the relatives that were overwhelming us. Hospice here had a program where I recieved weekly counseling in my home free of charge. I don't think it helped too too much but it is an option. There is also a group called compassionate friends that is a support group for parents that have lost a child. I met some nice people there and was able to share some of my pain. They know exactly what you are going through and you can make some good connections there.
The thing that mifts me to this day is no one but my mom really talks about my son nor calls on his birthday or the anniversary of his death. It is like he didn't exist to the rest of the family and that really hurts me. It has been 12 years this august for me and this was the first year I was able to make it through Christmas without a major depression. I had a little meltdown christmas eve but was able to snap out of it. Losing a child is very different then losing a parent or a spouse. People think they know what grief is but this is a whole other kind of shear torture that can't even be put into words. Also if they have any other children they may want to consult a child psychologist on how to approach this. We got excellant advice for me not to go all hysterical around my other son who was just 3.5 at the time. So I put him in full time preschool and freake d out with my newborn daughter that I was pregnant with when my son died. Not that is is good to get all emotional around a newborn but this is the best that I could do. When I picked him up from school I held it together. My son is now 15.5 and has no lasting effects from what he went through. I am not much for talk therapy but the advice they gave me I think saved my sons childhood.
Above all remember this is not going to be a short term loss where they get over it at a certain time. They will be needing ongoing support for many years to come. I still need to talk to people about my son and how horrible it has been and have found fewer and fewer shoulders to lean on. I don't know if the other people just can't handle hearing about it or think I should be over it by now but it is still so difficult even after all these years. Acknowledge their loss and keep acknowledging their son far past when you think they should be healing. The loss of a child is the number one cause for emotianal strain and IMHO time is slow to heal.

If you want to pm me for other advice please do so.
My heart goes out to them in so many ways. My grandparents when we took him off of life support told me god always wants the brightest star on the tree, that sticks with me as my son indeed was the brightest star on the tree. I was so lucky to have him even for a short while, but the pain can be imobilizing some days.
If I didn't have my other kids to take care of and live for I would of cashed in my chips long ago.

 

[Mrsduck101]

I'm so sorry

Please do try to keep them away from the newspaper article on the web if the comments can't be removed. It is so sad that people would say such horrible things about such a tragedy