Tracking your teen

[china mom]

I am a self avowed Free Range Parent, married to a Helicopter Parent with a brand new driver in the family.

DH wants to use an app to track our son (and, eventually, our daughter) while I say "let him be free until we have a reason to doubt him". At a minimum, DH is always asking me if DS has arrived at his destination or if he is on his way home. If I hear "Did you text him" one more time...


So, how many of you have or plan to have an app on your child's phone so that you can track them with GPS?

 

[Hikergirl]

I voted other.
I track my 21 year old through 'find friends', with her permission. She travels between home and school often which is over 4 hours so I use it when she makes that trip. It was her suggestion.
I do not track my other kids, but I do ask that they text me when they get to their destination if it involves travelling time. I do not ask when they are local, except in bad weather or if my oldest ds is going to be getting in very late.

 

[DisneyOma]

OP, why not just tell your DH to text the kid himself?

 

[robinb]

I was also a Free Range parent and I tracked my DD when she was in HS with "Find My Friends". It gave me comfort that I knew where she was unless she turned off her phone (my phone died mom!).

She's now in college with a Google phone and I no longer track her.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Teenagers have to learn to be responsible for themselves, if not, how will they survive adulthood? A courtesy message to say that they are safe or leaving is to be encouraged but tracking teenagers is disempowering them and teaching them that they are not responsible for themselves. Messaging a new driver driver, may be encouraging them to use their telephone while driving...the last thing that you want to do.

 

[SC Minnie]

Mine is older now but when she was a teen we did ask that she text/call when she got where ever she was going as well as when she was heading home. Not that we didn't trust her but to give us peace of mind that she wasn't in a ditch somewhere having been in an accident.

 

[luvsJack]

Mine are grown but no I never tracked them when they were teens. With my oldest two, I had no way to track them so it wasn't a thought and cell phones weren't really around much so they couldn't even call when they go to their destination. With dd, I didn't feel I ever had reason to and I found that I worried more when she forgot to call when she arrived wherever so we dropped that too. When she was living in the dorm in college, about 45 minutes away and started dating her now husband who was another 45 minutes from there, I expressed some worry about her traveling that much. She added herself to my "find my friends" on the phone and I was able to see when she arrived at either location. Sometimes, I will still use it if, for instance, I know they are going to the movies or something and I need to call her, just to make sure they are out before I call.

 

[brockash]

I am a self avowed Free Range Parent, married to a Helicopter Parent with a brand new driver in the family.

DH wants to use an app to track our son (and, eventually, our daughter) while I say "let him be free until we have a reason to doubt him". At a minimum, DH is always asking me if DS has arrived at his destination or if he is on his way home. If I hear "Did you text him" one more time...


So, how many of you have or plan to have an app on your child's phone so that you can track them with GPS?

Why can't your DH text him? I'm totally about contacting when you get somewhere/leave etc.... as the parent that always does it (DH could care less) I know that it is a lot of mental work/keep up, so if your DH wants to know etc I'd have him be the one contacting him etc.

 

[robinb]

I wanted to add that we lifted her curfew when she was a Senior in HS. She was a competitive swimmer with early morning practices through the spring so she didn't stay out on weekdays. She texted me by 2:00 am on the weekends to let me know when she was coming home or if she was staying over at a friend's house.

 

[Klayfish]

DS15 just got his permit a few months ago, and I actually just bought the car that will become his. I voted "have little or no interest in tracking my child" because that's just how I feel. As a PP pointed out, teenagers have to learn to be responsible for themselves. My job is to try to teach him right from wrong and how to be responsible. It's up to him to make those decisions or not. I'm very much not into the helicopter thing. Would I text him if needed? Sure, but actually track him? No.

 

[aprilgail]

My daughter and I both have it on our phones- she can track me and I can track her. Its very funny when I am driving home from someplace and get a text saying "hey mom you are coming up to a mcdonalds, can you pick me up a number 6" LOL

 

[mjkacmom]

I started tracking them when they got iPhones, I track DH and he can track too (but never figured it out). It has nothing to do with not trusting them, I’m a very free range parent (kids have been walking to school since my oldest was in second grade). They go from place to place without letting me know where they are, it makes it easy to see where to pick them up, or when they will be home if driving back from somewhere. I don’t track dd22 or ds21, tracking comes off when they go to college, I see no reason for it then. However, it would be nice if ds had it this summer since he takes to bus into the city for work, and I pick him up at the bus stop. I never have any idea when he will need a ride.

 

[mamamary]

No teens anymore but I never tracked them. Occasionally I would ask them to let me know when they arrived at their destination. Whenever I leave my moms house (a few hours away) to go home she asks me to call her to let her know we got home safe.

 

[wgeo]

I voted for I track him because we have the aps on our phones, but I don't think I've ever real time tracked him as he was going somewhere, as in watched the little thingy move on the map. I do occasionally pull it up to see if he's left school on the bus or staying after as he's horrible about texting, I also sometimes check the hubby to see if he's on the way home from work yet if time is tight and I'm trying to figure out dinner. Technically we can all track each other - wouldn't surprise me if the kids didn't occasionaly use it to "quick clean" the house before we got home.

 

[mjkacmom]

I wanted to add that we lifted her curfew when she was a Senior in HS. She was a competitive swimmer with early morning practices through the spring so she didn't stay out on weekdays. She texted me by 2:00 am on the weekends to let me know when she was coming home or if she was staying over at a friend's house.

My kids have no curfew after they turn 18, dd18 gets home very late sometimes, she doesn’t need a lot of sleep. She is off the tracker because she got a new phone, it’s been annoying because she doesn’t have a car, so uses mine, and is constantly late (like taking it overnight and planning on coming home the next morning, and coming home at noon.)

 

[Gitts2008]

We use Life360. As a family, we track each other. Every child is different. We gave our child freedom that she earned by being responsible, trustworthy and age appropriate. DD can navigate NYC better than most people. She has traveled to Canada to Figure Skate and meet up with friends. BUT DD was given the tools to learn how to make sound choices. We used the app, so that DD had the freedom and we had the peace of mind. DD has friends who have never been given the tools to learn how to be responsible or do not have the maturity to have unlimited freedom. DD just graduated High School and I will track her until she tells me to stop We trust her and her judgement, but that does not mean that we trust the world. Do what is best for your family! What works for your family! DD has been teased and she knows that we use the app out of love not mistrust. Plus, She knows that when her friends speed (80 mph+) that we will know about it. We live in a suburb of NYC. My friends in NC have raised their children differently, bc it is a different environment.

 

[robinb]

My kids have no curfew after they turn 18, dd18 gets home very late sometimes, she doesn’t need a lot of sleep. She is off the tracker because she got a new phone, it’s been annoying because she doesn’t have a car, so uses mine, and is constantly late (like taking it overnight and planning on coming home the next morning, and coming home at noon.)

My DD didn't turn 18 until 2 weeks before she started college. I wanted her to have more autonomy before she headed off to live at school . I remember being annoyed when my DD was also just off the tracker because she changed from an iPhone to a Google phone. She offered to reinstall a tracker but I realized it was just me.

 

[DLgal]

I track my older son when he goes out to ride his bike. I make him take his phone and we use Google maps and location sharing so I can see where he is in real time. I only do this because he is autistic and doesn't have the best communication skills and if he fell or something he might not think to call or text me that he needs help. He is almost 15, though, and I have to give him opportunities for independence, and he is very smart and safety conscious, so this is how I am able to let go a bit. He doesn't have friends so I'm not tracking him in the typical way parents of teens might. However, he does want to get his license eventually, and I will continue to track him when he does. We all track each other using Google maps...I can always see where my husband is, and vice versa, and my son can see us on his phone. It also shows us what battery percentage is left on the corresponding phone, so no one can claim "my phone died." Using Google maps location sharing is free, just requires Google accounts.

 

[nkereina]

I'm in my 30s and my parents (in their 70s) use the "Find My Friends" app. I added them to this when they drove to FL for the first time last winter from NY. I wanted to be able to check their location during the drive and while there in case I didn't hear from them or there was an emergency. I also live 90 minutes from them, so they like the "Alert Me" feature when I am leaving to drive to their house so they know when to expect me.

I think if both parties are on notice and in agreement that the app will be used, there is nothing wrong with it. For me, it's much easier than texting and bugging them to ask where they are, and it brings peace of mind to the worriers of the family. There was a recent news story where a young driver drove off in a ditch, and her mother was able to locate her and call 911 by using the app, so it does have its benefits.

 

[mjkacmom]

We use Life360. As a family, we track each other. Every child is different. We gave our child freedom that she earned by being responsible, trustworthy and age appropriate. DD can navigate NYC better than most people. She has traveled to Canada to Figure Skate and meet up with friends. BUT DD was given the tools to learn how to make sound choices. We used the app, so that DD had the freedom and we had the peace of mind. DD has friends who have never been given the tools to learn how to be responsible or do not have the maturity to have unlimited freedom. DD just graduated High School and I will track her until she tells me to stop We trust her and her judgement, but that does not mean that we trust the world. Do what is best for your family! What works for your family! DD has been teased and she knows that we use the app out of love not mistrust. Plus, She knows that when her friends speed (80 mph+) that we will know about it. We live in a suburb of NYC. My friends in NC have raised their children differently, bc it is a different environment.

We are, too. I do remember when my oldest was 16 and ventured into manhattan the first time with her friends, it was almost dark at I just happened to look at the app, and saw her about to enter Central Park. I texted her to stay in lighted areas.