Tracking device for car?

[RangerPooh]

I don't understand, who do your kids go out with that you feel you need to track?

No one bad, we're just hesitant to let our kids out with most people. For example, if our oldest DD was catching a ride home from a school function with a friends parents then we could track that they're on their way. Especially if they're running a bit later than expected. Or if the girls are attending a scouting function that's running later than the anticipated arrival time. Kids don't always answer their phones or call to check in.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I pretty much said what *I* do. I gave my opinion.

And FWIW, it sure sounded like you were criticizing parents who DON'T keep up with their kids whereabouts...


You like (presumably) the tracking because you don't know what your child is doing. I'm just pointing out car tracking doesn't help. They can say they're staying at a friend's house, drive there, then leave in the friend's car. Will kids "push the boundaries" and go somewhere they shouldn't? I'm sure. But if you're that worried when the kid is 16/17, what happens a year or two later when they go to college?

For those who say the tracking gives you "peace of mind", peace of mind of what? Will it come in handy if they said they'd arrive somewhere at 10p and it's 1am and they haven't gotten there? Sure. That comes back to the trust factor. Parents and kids have been battling this for LONG before cell phones and car trackers. Amazing they survived.

Its funny that you came to that conclusion, when my first sentence stated that my child is grown & we never tracked him. I was criticizing people who try to shame someone, if they disagree with their parenting style & those who use the ridiculous term "helicopter parent". The OP asked for tracking advice. What she got was the same people who always have to interject their opinion on how to raise children telling her how to parent. Odds are she thinks some of those people giving her advice aren't great parents & wouldn't listen to them anyway.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree. Simply tracking a phone can be useless. I would have done similar to you & my parents never would have believed I'd consider it.

Unfortunately my parents would think I’d do that, lol. I remember a night of my dad driving through town trying to catch me, running through pizzeria kitchens! Good times!

 

[lifesavacation]

I don't track, I just ask my kids to text me when they get to their destination and when they are leaving it.
If I was going to track I would tell them, I would never try to hide it.
I also don't get the idea of tracking your child but telling who they are with to slow down, not my place at all. If I can't trust other drivers then I don't let my child go with them, I transport them. I think "parenting" others because you track your child is going too far IMO.

It looks like most agree with you that I was overstepping by telling the driver to slow down. I’ll have to really think about that because I didn’t see it that way at the time.

Dd14 is a freshman this year. She begged to go to the football game with a group of 17 year old boys. We don’t know them so my husband initially told her no. We were happy to drive her but she begged and pleaded to go. We tried to compromise by saying she needed to bring a friend so she wasn’t the only girl in the car but there weren’t enough seats. Dd was happy to let us track her if she could go. Safe driving was one of our conditions that we agreed upon beforehand. I’ve raised 3 boys, all of whom got tickets for speeding in high school. When there are girls involved, they don’t always think or act rationally.

Dd models locally and gets a lot of inappropriate attention. I kinda wish the boys would have thought her parents were too crazy to mess with and spread the word at school that she was off limits. She is now dating one of the 17 year old boys from that night.

There you go. More details for the DIS to dissect and interpret. There is no one perfect formula to parenting. It appears we are more overprotective than most on this thread. And I think that’s OK. I’ve got great kids so I’m obviously doing something right.

 

[sam_gordon]

Its funny that you came to that conclusion, when my first sentence stated that my child is grown & we never tracked him. I was criticizing people who try to shame someone, if they disagree with their parenting style & those who use the ridiculous term "helicopter parent". The OP asked for tracking advice. What she got was the same people who always have to interject their opinion on how to raise children telling her how to parent. Odds are she thinks some of those people giving her advice aren't great parents & wouldn't listen to them anyway.

So giving a different opinion = "shaming". OK. I'll have to remember that. What I've read is people saying "here's what I'd do/did". If that's shaming someone, I don't know what to say.

 

[Hikergirl]

It looks like most agree with you that I was overstepping by telling the driver to slow down. I’ll have to really think about that because I didn’t see it that way at the time.

Dd14 is a freshman this year. She begged to go to the football game with a group of 17 year old boys. We don’t know them so my husband initially told her no. We were happy to drive her but she begged and pleaded to go. We tried to compromise by saying she needed to bring a friend so she wasn’t the only girl in the car but there weren’t enough seats. Dd was happy to let us track her if she could go. Safe driving was one of our conditions that we agreed upon beforehand. I’ve raised 3 boys, all of whom got tickets for speeding in high school. When there are girls involved, they don’t always think or act rationally.

Dd models locally and gets a lot of inappropriate attention. I kinda wish the boys would have thought her parents were too crazy to mess with and spread the word at school that she was off limits. She is now dating one of the 17 year old boys from that night.

There you go. More details for the DIS to dissect and interpret. There is no one perfect formula to parenting. It appears we are more overprotective than most on this thread. And I think that’s OK. I’ve got great kids so I’m obviously doing something right.

Doing what you (think) you need to do for your child is one thing, but I think when that starts to roll over into what you think you need to another person's child is another IMO. If you are OK with doing that, don't rethink it, it just isn't something I would ever do.
When my kids first started going in cars with friends, I just told them to make sure they wore their seatbelt, and to text me when they got to where they are going. With the kids I knew- I'd just say you guys are precious cargo, be careful. I wouldn't think to call or text my child while they were driving and have them tell them to slow down. I would have second thoughts about letting them get in the car with that person again if I knew they were speeding excessively.

As far as being over protective, not really sure if you are any more so than anyone else here. My dd is 19 now but at 14 I would have never let her in a car alone with a group of 17 year old boys, so you could say that is over protective.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

So giving a different opinion = "shaming". OK. I'll have to remember that. What I've read is people saying "here's what I'd do/did". If that's shaming someone, I don't know what to say.

We'll just agree to disagree. What I've read is people offering unsolicited parenting advice, with very few actually answering the OPs question. Unfortunately, that's par for the course for the DIS. I can see offering unsolicited advice, if the topic is something that affects the adviser. Don't let your kids climb on tables in restaurants or throw 10 minute tantrums, without removing them for the situation, etc. I just don't understand why people find it okay to offer unsolicited parenting advice on something that doesn't affect them at all. I wonder if the DISers that are always offering unsolicited advice here do the same thing IRL. I'm guessing most don't.

 

[nkereina]

OP, if you hide the tracking device from your child, what will your plan be if you find that your child is somewhere that they aren't supposed to be? Will you call them out on it? If you decide to do that, then they will wonder how you knew about it which will either lead to you revealing the tracking device or more lies. And if they know you are tracking them behind their back, it might not end well. I think this is just another reason why it's good to be upfront about the tracking if you move forward with it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry, but I do have a very, very, very negative opinion of anyone who felt the desire to 'track' another human being, especially secretly.
No apology.

Has our culture/society gone from 'bubble wrap', to this kind of creepy, controlling, stalking, self-serving, evil???
Looks like maybe it has...

 

[cabanafrau]

So giving a different opinion = "shaming". OK. I'll have to remember that. What I've read is people saying "here's what I'd do/did". If that's shaming someone, I don't know what to say.

How on earth can an adult old enough to be parenting a teen of age to drive independently be shamed by the comments of strangers on a discussion board?

People have very differing viewpoints. Conversation would be very dull if that were not the case.

 

[Klayfish]

We'll just agree to disagree. What I've read is people offering unsolicited parenting advice, with very few actually answering the OPs question. Unfortunately, that's par for the course for the DIS. I can see offering unsolicited advice, if the topic is something that affects the adviser. Don't let your kids climb on tables in restaurants or throw 10 minute tantrums, without removing them for the situation, etc. I just don't understand why people find it okay to offer unsolicited parenting advice on something that doesn't affect them at all. I wonder if the DISers that are always offering unsolicited advice here do the same thing IRL. I'm guessing most don't.

So in your opinion, offering advice about letting kids climb on tables or throw tantrums is welcome, but advice about tracking your child isn't?

Maybe it's just me, but this thread hasn't been very critical or harsh. Just people's opinion on a very deep and interesting topic, but YMMV.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

So in your opinion, offering advice about letting kids climb on tables or throw tantrums is welcome, but advice about tracking your child isn't?

Maybe it's just me, but this thread hasn't been very critical or harsh. Just people's opinion on a very deep and interesting topic, but YMMV.

Kids climbing on, running around, etc. others tables in restaurants affect their experience. I can see why someone would speak up, if someone came on here & talked about allowing their kid to run around a restaurant & climb on tables. Someone tracking their child doesn't affect strangers in any way. The replies probably aren't critical or harsh, if you aren't on the receiving end of the unsolicited parenting advice.

ETA: For what it's worth, I haven't viewed your posts that way. You've actually tried to answer the question. If everyone would stick to the question asked, this thread wouldn't have devolved into yet another "my parenting is better than yours" thread in the first place.

 

[wenrob]

Yep! And then the kid is in more danger than they would have been had parents not been tracking beucase the kid has no access to their phone if they do need it for some reason.

I can't think of a young person I know who would willingly leave their phone behind these days. Heck, they track their friends. My kids follow me, I follow them. Many times I wish my sister had an iPhone so I could see where the she is because she’s ALWAYS late. For the vast majority of us who use Find My Phone/Friends or the like it’s no big thing.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The OP hasn't been back that I can see. I would like to know if there is something specific she's anxious about. Has the new driver/teen given the parents something to worry about in the past? Or are they just nervous in general?

new driver. Nervous Parents. Is there any type of tracker that can be placed in the car without them knowing? I know there are phone apps but I’m looking for something in the car not on the phone. Any suggestions?

We have two that are 20 so went through this relatively recently. We never tracked either one at all. We did ask them to text us if they were going somewhere unusual or they were going to be late, etc.

But to be honest, we were less worried about where they were (we pretty much knew where they were) than the driving itself. Each of my kids preferred to be the driver when they were going somewhere and truthfully, we preferred that too, as we knew they were pretty responsible drivers. (I saw some of DS's friends driving recklessly one day, which was scary; another friend hadn't put the right amount of time in for practice before becoming licensed; another friend had flipped his car over in a rainstorm after hitting a tree; and several friends had had accidents, etc.) So I actually felt safer with DS at the wheel.

We spent a lot of time talking about the AAA studies that have shown that accident rates for young drivers go up for every kid that's in the car, and that includes siblings - the reason being distraction. They're on their own, music is on, they're laughing, having fun, talking, fooling around, etc., so the driver may not be paying full attention to their speed or road and traffic conditions; and that, combined with a lack of experience, can be a recipe for trouble. AAA studies also show that accident rates for young drivers are higher at certain times, such as April, May and June. So we asked our kids to keep all that in mind when they had others in the car.

Not saying this is the only way, it's just how we handled it.

 

[Hikergirl]

Kids climbing on, running around, etc. others tables in restaurants affect their experience. I can see why someone would speak up, if someone came on here & talked about allowing their kid to run around a restaurant & climb on tables. Someone tracking their child doesn't affect strangers in any way. The replies probably aren't critical or harsh, if you aren't on the receiving end of the unsolicited parenting advice.

ETA: For what it's worth, I haven't viewed your posts that way. You've actually tried to answer the question. If everyone would stick to the question asked, this thread wouldn't have devolved into yet another "my parenting is better than yours" thread in the first place.

Funny how your first post in this thread didn't answer the question asked.
I guess according to you, we can only post if we agree or support the OP, even if we don't "stick to the question asked".
I also like how you also thew in some criticism of your own to some of the posters here. But, hey it wasn't directed to the OP so its all good right?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, I agree...
I have not read every post here, but when it comes to something like this. There ARE going to be differing opinions.
I do not think that the use of the term Helicopter Parent, is 'shaming' either.
To me, that seems to be the very definition of the term... a parent who is always, always, following and tracking and 'hovering'.
It just is what it is.

Personally, I have no idea, as I would never ever, in a million years, consider secretly tracking any other human being.
I do not know what device or technology the OP is looking for. But, if the answer is not something obvious, that can be found easily at an auto store or Walmart, then perhaps there is a reason for that.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I can't think of a young person I know who would willingly leave their phone behind

Really?
Think about it... Easy enough to get another phone that the parents do not know about. But, all her friends do.
That is exactly what we had recommended to the one kid I mentioned who has not spoken to her Dad since she turned 18 (when he had no further legal recourse) who tracked her.

 

[Hikergirl]

I know a couple girls willing to leave their phone behind because they have. They got caught at a party though so it didn't really do them alot of good. Turns out when you leave your phone and don't post pics on instagram your friend still does, and your sister sees it and tells your parents LOL

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes.... TOO FUNNY!!!!
But, really it is not.
Personal Privacy no longer exists, and Big Brother is very much alive and well.

And, just a note....
Yes, this kind of tracking affects every person that this parents child spends time with.
Not just the child.

This might be considered legal or okay for one's own child.
But what about once the teen becomes an adult?
What about others who are being tracked by these parents efforts.

 

[wenrob]

Yes.... TOO FUNNY....
But, really it is not.
Personal Privacy no longer exists, and Big Brother is very much alive and well.

And, just a note....
Yes, this kind of tracking affects every person that this parents child spends time with.
Not just the child.

This might be considered legal or okay for one's own child.
But what about once the teen becomes an adult?
What about others who are being tracked by these parents efforts.

You are way overthinking this and being way over the top. Most people aren’t stalking their kids 24/7. They’re glancing at an app occasionally. ALL here that have said they’ve used it in one form or another have said it’s not a secret.