Toystoryduo's Journal....Moving Forward From Here

[lovinaz]

Happy early anniversary!

That is great that you can go to WDW again in Dec. What a wonderful way to kick-off the holiday!

 

[toystoryduo]

My DH and I were talking about our WDW trip in September and I mentioned that I needed a new bathing suit. (Old one is about 5 years old and ripped at BCV last year. ) He told me to go ahead and start looking so I priced some out on eBay. I found a cute Disney one that I liked and decided to measure for size. I got a tape measure and started measuring the important bathing suit parts and was shocked, angry, saddened and totally embarrassed by the numbers that I saw. Reality is sinking in like a lead balloon, my friends. I have been kidding myself and lying to myself about how I look. Numbers don't lie. Scales don't lie. Although I don't have a full length mirror in my house, mirrors don't lie either. I have been avoiding the truth in hopes that the tape measure, the scale,and the mirror are all wrong. They are not. Wow.

I don't understand why this journey is so darn hard for me. I used to be thin and athletic and now I am fat, frumpy, and can't play a 20 minute game of kickball with my kids without my knees aching for days afterwords. Who am I kidding? I have been on this journey for how many years now? 5 or 6? And it's the same stuff different day..No scratch that. It's the same stuff different day and I weigh more than I did when I started this journey! What the heck is wrong with this picture?!?!?! Maybe the better question is what the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I do this?!?!?!?!?

I've got some thinking and praying to do....If you've gotten this far, thanks for listening!

 

[toystoryduo]

Happy early anniversary!

That is great that you can go to WDW again in Dec. What a wonderful way to kick-off the holiday!

Thanks Amy!

 

[toystoryduo]

Still thinking about yesterday... I am trying to get a more realistic picture of my weight than the one I have held in my head the past few months. Not an easy process.

I found an article online that has given me some food for thought and may be a starting point for some serious changes for me:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2000/novdec/7.114.html?start=1

My DH and I are getting ready to go out to eat for our anniversary. I'll post more tomorrow...

Have a nice evening WISH friends!

 

[toystoryduo]

My DH and I had a nice time at dinner yesterday. We went to Red Lobster and had shrimp, lobster, and crab legs...Yummy!

Then I made the mistake of going to Walmart and trying on bathing suits. Nothing fit and I got to see exactly what I look like in the dressing room mirror. It was very depressing to say the least.

Fast forward to today...I woke up still feeling kind of punky and down, but as the morning has worn on, I'm starting to feel somewhat better.

Today's Plan:
* Laundry
* Library
* Disney Budgets
* Homeschooling goals
* Workout- weights

No Buy July is not going as well as I had hoped. I'm not sure why I picked July since we have birthdays and anniversaries this month. This is also the month when I buy curriculum for homeschooling so that is an added expense as well. It does help to see where the money is going though.

That's about all from here...Have a great day everyone!

 

[Creativebeth]

I am a frequent reader on the journals, but haven't ever posted. I sensed the despiration in your 'vent' post.

We've all been there.....when you hit bottom. When the number on the scale is something we never thought we would see. My number came up in 2005 when I turned 39.....it was 231. Wow, what a number! I have never been athletic, but that number was a slap in the face!

I had 2 kids 20 months apart. My mother died in 2001. I ate all the time so I wouldn't feel anything. My husband had an affair. The story goes on. I had alot of excuses for being fat. But, that is what they were......just excuses.

I didn't want to be a fat, frumpy, forty year old. I got my act together and stopped making excuses. I lost 70 pounds in a year. I didn't do it for smaller sizes, to look 'good', or to be skinny. I did it for my husband, I did it for my kids, and I did it for myself. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be around for my kids. I didn't want my kids to be embarresed to be seen with me or to introduce me to friends and teachers.

I had no self esteem. I was fat. I was the only one to help myself not to be fat. I had to educate myself, and I needed to accept responsibilty for I had done. No one else made me fat......I did it all by myself.

You have to discover your triggers. What makes you eat? Stress? Boredom? Lonliness? Take a gander at yourself, and what makes you tick. You can do this........you just need to come up with a plan, and stick to it.

I have had some ups and downs.....training for a marathon in 2007 put 25 pounds back on me. I am in the process of getting that all off right now.

Come over to the Wish events section.....we have alot of motivation there. You can do this.....you just have to want it.

Beth

 

[toystoryduo]

I am a frequent reader on the journals, but haven't ever posted. I sensed the despiration in your 'vent' post.

We've all been there.....when you hit bottom. When the number on the scale is something we never thought we would see. My number came up in 2005 when I turned 39.....it was 231. Wow, what a number! I have never been athletic, but that number was a slap in the face!

I had 2 kids 20 months apart. My mother died in 2001. I ate all the time so I wouldn't feel anything. My husband had an affair. The story goes on. I had alot of excuses for being fat. But, that is what they were......just excuses.

I didn't want to be a fat, frumpy, forty year old. I got my act together and stopped making excuses. I lost 70 pounds in a year. I didn't do it for smaller sizes, to look 'good', or to be skinny. I did it for my husband, I did it for my kids, and I did it for myself. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be around for my kids. I didn't want my kids to be embarresed to be seen with me or to introduce me to friends and teachers.

I had no self esteem. I was fat. I was the only one to help myself not to be fat. I had to educate myself, and I needed to accept responsibilty for I had done. No one else made me fat......I did it all by myself.

You have to discover your triggers. What makes you eat? Stress? Boredom? Lonliness? Take a gander at yourself, and what makes you tick. You can do this........you just need to come up with a plan, and stick to it.

I have had some ups and downs.....training for a marathon in 2007 put 25 pounds back on me. I am in the process of getting that all off right now.

Come over to the Wish events section.....we have alot of motivation there. You can do this.....you just have to want it.

Beth

Thank you so much for your post and for your words of encouragement, Beth. You have given me a lot to think about.

 

[toystoryduo]

Well friends....Yesterday was a not so good day. My DH was stuck at work all day and the girls and I didn't see eye to eye on much of anything. Add the weight situation and I was a major grump! Glad today is a new day!

I figured out our September Disney budget this morning and we are at 94%! That is awesome! I'll need to work on December's some time this week as well.

Today's Plan:
* SR
* Laundry
* Library
* Grocery shopping

I've finished buying DD6's gifts for her birthday. She wanted a PS2 game and I bought that and part of the girls' curriculum off of eBay yesterday. I just need to get a cake at Sam's and we'll be all set!

Hope everyone has a great day ahead!

 

[eyor44]

Tracy
You have had quite a few days. I'm sorry I haven't been on much.

First off, Happy Aniversery! 13 years is great and 20 years together is awesome.

Congrats on the Christmas trip. Since you plan to view the Candlelight processional at Epcot, have you thought to do the special dining that will get you special seating at the Processional? You could eat an early dinner at Le Cellier's. You can even do it on the dining plan although I think it may be cheaper to pay OOP.

Now, you can get through this. Yes, you had a wake up call. It's rough. Been there myself. But you are thinking in the right direction. You can do it. I have faith in you.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hey there friend. First of all sending you a big:

I am right there with you. I have been at this for YEARS. At times I have been very successful only to gain back what I lost. I really thought when my mom passed away and that stress of being a caregive left my life, I'd get back to the "old me". No such luck! But I do really believe (and I think this is very true for you too) that I am making progress. I am learning and I am a work in progress but I am not giving up and I know you aren't either! I know we'l do this. I agree with Beth that it takes a long, honest look into yourself (and myself) to really identify all the layers of the problem. You know we are all here for you, just the way you are always here for us! You are so good to everyone on this board, you are truly one of the most caring and kindest women I have ever known. So always be kind to yourself too and remember its okay to put Tracy as number one on the list! You can do this sweetie.


As for the swim suit thing, google Delta Burke Swimwear". I love her suits, I am on about my fourth one. I have bought a few at JC Penney, but a lot of online swim wear places have them as well. Obviously I don't pass for a young sexy babe, but her suits are cut in a way that is size friendly and they are as flattering as any suit I have worn (I have gotten suits from Lands End and Junonia as well as QVC and these are the best by far). And they last a very long time! I love her swimdresses in particular.

Hang in there. I know you can do this. Do you still have your gym membership? Don't let any of those female dogs from high school keep you out of there!

And Happy Anniversary!!!! 13 Years is a long time, I know I am a day late but I am so happy for you guys and glad you had a nice dinner out. And Happy Birthday to dd, when is her party??

You can do it, you are a strong lady who takes life head on. I have faith in you!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hey there friend. First of all sending you a big:

I am right there with you. I have been at this for YEARS. At times I have been very successful only to gain back what I lost. I really thought when my mom passed away and that stress of being a caregive left my life, I'd get back to the "old me". No such luck! But I do really believe (and I think this is very true for you too) that I am making progress. I am learning and I am a work in progress but I am not giving up and I know you aren't either! I know we'l do this. I agree with Beth that it takes a long, honest look into yourself (and myself) to really identify all the layers of the problem. You know we are all here for you, just the way you are always here for us! You are so good to everyone on this board, you are truly one of the most caring and kindest women I have ever known. So always be kind to yourself too and remember its okay to put Tracy as number one on the list! You can do this sweetie.


As for the swim suit thing, google Delta Burke Swimwear". I love her suits, I am on about my fourth one. I have bought a few at JC Penney, but a lot of online swim wear places have them as well. Obviously I don't pass for a young sexy babe, but her suits are cut in a way that is size friendly and they are as flattering as any suit I have worn (I have gotten suits from Lands End and Junonia as well as QVC and these are the best by far). And they last a very long time! I love her swimdresses in particular.

Hang in there. I know you can do this. Do you still have your gym membership? Don't let any of those female dogs from high school keep you out of there!

And Happy Anniversary!!!! 13 Years is a long time, I know I am a day late but I am so happy for you guys and glad you had a nice dinner out. And Happy Birthday to dd, when is her party??

You can do it, you are a strong lady who takes life head on. I have faith in you!

Thank you, Amy! I hope you know how much I appreciate you and your friendship. You always know the right thing to say to make me feel better. Thanks WISH sis!

Thanks for the bathing suit tip as well...I'll have to check her collection out!

 

[toystoryduo]

Tracy
You have had quite a few days. I'm sorry I haven't been on much.

First off, Happy Aniversery! 13 years is great and 20 years together is awesome.

Congrats on the Christmas trip. Since you plan to view the Candlelight processional at Epcot, have you thought to do the special dining that will get you special seating at the Processional? You could eat an early dinner at Le Cellier's. You can even do it on the dining plan although I think it may be cheaper to pay OOP.

Now, you can get through this. Yes, you had a wake up call. It's rough. Been there myself. But you are thinking in the right direction. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Thank you so much, Lisa! I really appreciate your words of encouragement and support!!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Tracy. How are are you doing today? I hope you have a great day!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Lisa!

Today has not started off a good note, but it is getting better. I didn't sleep very well last night at all. Then I got up this morning and found that I am missing some shopping credits from SR. I can file Trouble Tickets on them in a few days, but it still bugs me that they're not crediting. It could mean that something is overriding cookies on my computer. In any event, I hope that it gets resolved soon...I'd like to make Super Member before we leave for WDW in September.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I am doing a 60 day workout challenge. Here's where I am at so far:
Day 1: Cardio (40 minutes)
Day 2: Weights (36 minutes)
Day 3: Cardio (40 minutes)
Day 4: Weights (25 minutes)
Day 5: Cardio (40 minutes)
Day 6: Weights (15 minutes)
Day 7: Cardio (35 minutes)
Day 8: Weights+ Cardio (40 minutes)

Today's workout was FIRM Burn and Shape...Great workout that goes by very quickly! Lots of legs though and my knees were creaking for sure!

Today's Plan:
* SR
* Workout (DONE!)
* Coffee with a friend this evening

Hope everyone has a wonderful, water filled Wednesday!

 

[toystoryduo]

Got some of my SR credits yesterday! Very excited about that!

No big plans for the day ahead...SR, workout (cardio), straightening up the house a bit, and sorting through clothes. That's about it.

Tomorrow is weigh-in. No clue what that will bring! Eating has been so so, but I have been working out so we shall see what happens.

Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Tracy
YAY! on finding the SR credits. I have that happen occasionally when I buy something. I checked three different site and always go through which one will give me the best deal. And then write it in my notebook, cause I have a bad memory. Sometimes I just won't get a credit and it is difficult to get it fixed. and yay on almost being a Super Member.
You have been doing wonderful on your workouts. You go girl! You can do it! Just remember muscle weighs more than fat. I have to keep reminding myself that. I want that scale to move, but I also pay attention to my clothes and the hated measuring tape.
I'm glad your day got better. and hope today is another good one.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hey Wish Sis, this is my 11,000th post, I saved it for you!

I am glad you got your SR thing worked out and congrats on doing so well on your 60 day workout challenge! You are buring some serious calories with all that working out. Great job!

I am glad I can help you, cause Lord knows you have helped me plenty! We just need to meet up (all of us by gosh) in WDW someday.

Keep up the good work, and good luck at weigh in tomorrow!

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks ladies.

A little frustrated this morning....I weighed in and the scale showed a 4 pound gain! I'm not sure how that is even possible. I've been working out every day and food has been good with the exception of one day. How did 4 pounds creep up on me?

Today's Plan:
* SR
*Workout

This weekend is my DD6's birthday weekend. Tomorrow, we buy her birthday cake. On Sunday, we have her birthday party with her cousin and on Monday, we have her Chuck E Cheese party with some family members who can't make it on Sunday. Her actual birthday is on Monday and she'll be 7.

The construction workers are putting another layer of asphalt down today and then the concrete work starts next week. (aprons and sidewalks) After that, one more coat to seal the asphalt and landscaping the tree lawns and the road is done!

That's about all from here...Have a great weekend!

*********************************************************

Lisa~ Thanks! I'm still missing a couple of SR credits, but I'm hoping once I file Trouble Tickets on them, I'll get my credits.

Amy~ 11,000 posts?!?!? You go girl! Thanks for making mine number 11,000.

 

[toystoryduo]

Today looks to be a busy day for us...My DH has to work in the early afternoon and then we have some running around to do. I need to get a cardio workout in at some point today and may do a little SR if I have time.

Weight is still up 4 pounds. I don't understand why. I probably won't weight myself again until next Friday.

Hope everyone has a great Saturday!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Tracy, sometimes when you start working out really hard, you can show a gain, then you'll show a nice loss. Just hang in there and keep doing what you are doing!

Did you get the upgrade thing for free dining?

Have a super weekend and keep up those excellent work outs!