Tough situation....

[mom2rtk]

Do we have an estimate on how old the child is?

 

[DisneyOma]

I'm not ready to judge her for not going after the father. If I were in a situation like that, and if getting child support also meant consenting to visitation when I believed my child would not be safe with the other parent, I wouldn't do it either.

I hope this mother is able to find a job that she can do well and still be available for her child.

Luckily, financial support does not (should not) be tied to visitation rights.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Yes, but...it would be like a friend of mine telling other friends about my husband's (hypothetical) struggles with cancer and then saying, "well, I feel sorry for her, but she did decide to fall and in love and get married."

No, the two situations aren't the same. A struggle with cancer that someone is fighting is completely different than that of a mother who is missing work because her child was expelled from school due to special needs that she is refusing to properly treat (which is how I interpret the being fired from her child's doctor). This is a situation that her choices have made worse, not a situation that is horrible and truly deserves nothing but support and sympathy like a cancer battle.

 

[Liberty Belle]

No, the two situations aren't the same. A struggle with cancer that someone is fighting is completely different than that of a mother who is missing work because her child was expelled from school due to special needs that she is refusing to properly treat (which is how I interpret the being fired from her child's doctor). This is a situation that her choices have made worse, not a situation that is horrible and truly deserves nothing but support and sympathy like a cancer battle.

But we do not know the mother is refusing to properly treat.

 

[bellebud]

But we do not know the mother is refusing to properly treat.

we don't know for sure, but, being 'fired' from a doctor and being asked to leave school repeatedly point to that.

 

[NotUrsula]

Wait, does a child's disability get the parent an accommodation at work?

If we are speaking of FMLA, yes, in quite a few situations involving a young child, or an older child with significant "quality of life" limitations. However, FMLA allows a limited number of hours. It is meant to cover temporary situations, so even using it for a couple of hours a week, it would run out after a while, and coverage for the illness of someone else (as opposed to the employee) is only meant to be used on a given situation one time. You can have it denied if you keep applying for it every year for a chronic situation involving the same family member.

Now, is it good business and the right thing to do to try to accommodate an irregular schedule for an employee who otherwise does his or her job well? ... To keep that person in the workforce and in a position to be financially responsible for his or her own family? Yes, it is. It isn't necessary to give that person the moon, but if you can arrive at a mutually beneficial arrangement, it is a good thing for everyone concerned, to be able to see that when the luck of the genetic draw puts you in this position, that you can still hold down a job and take care of your own. Any one of us could, through no fault of our own, end up with a dependent family member who needs a lot of personal care, and that is also something for other employees to take into account. Maybe the position she has isn't the best fit, but perhaps there are other duties that would work out better for everyone.

PS: I would agree that if the parent of a young child is refusing medically recommended best practices in regard to the child's condition, then there is a limit to how much accommodation that would merit. All accommodations given to an employee with regard to another person's care should be undertaken with the idea that it is the best situation possible given the employee's income status. (So, for instance, if the person is an executive making a high six-figure income and carrying "Cadillac" insurance, hiring a full-time qualified caregiver for work hours would probably be a reasonable thing to expect that person to do.)

 

[DizBelle]

But we do not know the mother is refusing to properly treat.

No, we don't know. But it is the "vibe" I'm getting as well.

 

[lovemygoofy]

No, we don't know. But it is the "vibe" I'm getting as well.

How are you getting vibes about a situation regarding people that isn't you or anyone you know but something you just heard about?

 

[DizBelle]

How are you getting vibes about a situation regarding people that isn't you or anyone you know but something you just heard about?

It's why I can only call it a "vibe".

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

How are you getting vibes about a situation regarding people that isn't you or anyone you know but something you just heard about?

We can only go off the information given, that the child was "fired" from their doctor, which is usually only done when recommended treatment programs are refused, yes, it can be done because of something like refusing to vaccinate, but that's not how I'm interpreting it here.

I totally understand having empathy (not sympathy) for people who are in a tough situation, and trying to help them out. I do this is my own life where and when I can. But, I know that I can't do this forever, because it will impact my own family, and they are important to me too. I am much more eager to help out someone who is working hard to take care of their situation on their own, determining resources, following plans, figuring risks, rather than reeling from crisis to crisis just trusting other people to pull them out of the fire, or firmly convinced that it's not their fault or that in this case maybe that little Johnny can do no wrong and is just misunderstood. Those folks get a much shorter response from me, and much more expectation of taking care of their own responsibilities. So in the example put out before, where you're taking care of a spouse with cancer, it's not comparable to me.