Too much too soon

[luvmy3]

It's not hard to prevent if you don't setup and reinforce the expectation that things must get more elaborate each time. It's not a competition nor an arms race.

I would be deeply disappointed in myself if I ever taught my children that they have to get something bigger and better every year to enjoy the holiday.

"A iTouch?? Last year you got me an iPad!"
"I'll be happy to take back to store if you're unhappy with it. (and it looks like next year you get socks and underwear...)"

Agreed. The reason a child would ever assume that each gift the next year had to top the previous is because they were taught it did.
My dd got an Ipod touch last year at around $300, this year the only thing she really asked for was a video game. I had to talk her into asking for something more She ended up asking for a ski jacket and pants (which she needed anyway).

 

[letsgoreds]

In our school district, the technology is everywhere, starting in preschool. In First grade, there are a decent # of ipads shared between different groups of classrooms. In middle school (7-9) they started a 'bring in your own device' approach as a means to cut costs. The school rolled out this program to the parents, and children had to sign an agreement, and there are supplemental ipads/computers for those that do not have one to bring in. The teachers/students use this to share homework/research/etc. So far so good.

DS7 is receiving a 16gb ipod touch (4th gen). Mainly because I could buy one for $128 from Target. He (and DS2.5) use DH and my phones, ipod touch, and ipad. It is used as a reward, and monitored. I am just happy to get out of the habit of buying new DS games at $20-$40/each. You can find far more educational options with Apple and at a substantially lower cost.

For the PP buying a DS for her DD6...I say skip this and go for an Ipod touch. It is about the same cost and will keep her interest a lot longer.

DS is happy with whatever he receives, basketball, goggles, books, etc. I feel no need to top the next year...although I do see a lot of itunes card in his future : )

 

[meggiebeth]

I think it is ridiculous to get a ten year old an iPad. Fair enough, get one for the household which everyone can use, but getting such a young child such an expensive gift that is quite fragile is a bit silly IMO. I think an iPod is reasonable for that age, but an iPad is so much more costly and special.

If you get things like iPads handed to you when you're young, you don't tend to appreciate how much they really cost or how much work it is to get one.

I was fourteen when I got my first iPod touch and had to put money towards it myself- which gives you a lot more sense on the importance of taking care of it.

We rarely spend over $100 per person on Christmas presents and still get special gifts we treasure.

I never had an iPod, mp3 player or iPad when I was ten years old. My parents told me I wasn't old enough and that was the end of it.

We did get a Wii when I was eleven after saving up for several months (my brother and I). A far more suitable gift than an iPad for a young child.

I actually know an 8 year old with an iPhone of her own. I just don't understand why an 8 year old would need one. My mother only got one 2 months ago! whatever happened to dolls and cars and games?

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[angierae]

We have a $250 hard limit on Christmas gifts. Dd17 gets gifts from her dad and his family, my family, grandparents, etc. If she wants something expensive, she asks for gift cards from various family members and saves up for it - this is how she bought her first laptop. She asked everyone for Best Buy gift cards, and $25-30 at a time, she saved up $600.

She asked for a WiiU this year, and both her stepfather and I and her dad and stepmother both told her that that was way too expensive for a gift, and we're both giving her $100 towards saving for it - but that's coming out of her $250.

Basically, I wouldn't buy an iPad as a gift because I think that that's way, way too much to spend on a holiday.

 

[eliza61]

Had this conversation with a friend yesterday. Her MIL is looking for something to buy for my friend's 10 year old daughter and the girl wants an ipad. We were talking about the problem with buying young children these expensive gifts as such an age. What do you do next year and the year after? It seems they get so much at such a young age it just sets you up fro frustration later when they have it all already.

My DD is almost 15 and getting her first ipod touch this year, the last of all her friends to get one. I know she will appreciate it, as she is very cautious with my money and I appreciate that.

I see how my cousin started her dd with the limo pick up from school for her 12th birthday and it snowballed from there to eventually a wedding that my cousin took out a second mortgage on her house to pay for. The kicker, the marriage lasted about 3 years.
It is hard to avoid the overbuying, where do you draw the line?

You know it's never been a big problem for me. I do have very definite ideas of age appropriate gifts. For me spending 700 bucks on a 10 year old for an IPAD is never going to happen. Heck, when ds started college I definitely talked with the school to make sure that a 2800 MAC computer was absolutely necessary.

IMO the bolded is not a result of overspending but a result of us needing to make the most mundane events a public spectacle. You guys have heard me with this complaint before.
In my school district, kids have a
kindergaten graduation
3 grade graduation
5th grade graduation better known as elementary school graduation
8th grade graduation better known as middle school graduation.

Each one accompanied by most times a huge party plus a "trip". and we can't figure out why by the time they graduate they think they are Jonas salk discovering the next medical miracle?

guy on my job, took out a loan against his 401K to give his daughter a disney weeding. picked up the tab on the gown, 275 guest, and their 10 day disney cruise/park honeymoon. Now he's walking around scared he'll get laid off and have the loan come due and after 16 months daughter and sil are fighting.

I have absolutely no problems saying "never gonna happen" to my kids. never did.
I still refuse to get them Iphones.

 

[Patience]

I am buying my youngest daughter a touch for her 6th birthday in the spring, probably a 4th generation refurbished one from Apple that I hope to buy for around $130 or less. I want my iPhone back! She ALWAYS wants my phone. She will only be allowed to use it in the house and in the car. She will not be allowed to take it into stores or school or other people's homes, etc. A lot of toys cost $100 or more. Things like American Girl dolls and accessories, the Furreal Butterscotch pony that I was lucky enough to buy on sale for less than $50, big Lego sets, etc. As long as she uses the touch only at home or in the car, I am not worried about it being lost or broken.

 

[ZoeBell]

After being a parent for 21 years I've become very practical. I'd rather spent money on what they want/use then spent less money on something they don't want/won't use.

Also I don't spend a lot of money on my kids during the year. They get a decent birthday present and a small friend party till age 14. And I don't have a large family..So there are no aunts, cousin, etc gifts to make up the difference.

I like to "splurge" a little on my kids for Xmas, partly because I can and mostly because I don't do it all during the year.

As always my kids are as appreciative as ever.

 

[worm761]

DD3 and DS5 ask to play with our phones ALL. THE. TIME. and we have many educational apps, as well as fun apps for them. We are considering giving them the iPhone 4's for Christmas since we have them. They will be using them as iPods, not phones, and they will have a certain amount of time allowed to use them each day. We aren't worried that they will expect something bigger next year; we are more just struggling with the idea of children that young having their own iPhone 4, KWIM?

I would give them the iPhones without a thought to it. They are already paid for and won't be connected so why not? DD will be 3 next week and she has DH's old Droid X in the Otterbox. It is really old and dying so she is getting a Leappad 2 for her birthday to replace it.

I think the issue is that a lot of people teach their kids to expect bigger and better. DS knows not to expect. He gets an allowance and if he wants something, he can save for it. He is getting a new TV for Christmas but only because I found a GREAT deal on it by accident a few weeks ago and just happened to have the money right then and there. It was not in the plans though. He will be very excited since his TV is small and an old tube TV so the picture quality is not the best for playing his video games.

 

[theworldneedscolor]

My problem isn't necessarily that they will expect more, but that a ten year old shouldn't have their own iPad. I got my first iPod at ten, and it was one of those chunky white ones. Very basic. I didn't get a phone until the 8th grade, and got a smart phone sophomore year (a 99¢ Droid!). I was also raised on the belief that kids should not have their own computers or tvs, for both safety and to teach restraint. I think the age kids have iPods, phones, etc nowadays is ridiculous. But I guess I am very old fashioned for my age :confused

 

[mom2t]

My DS is 10 and the last of his friends to get an Ipod touch for Christmas this year. I bought the 4th gen. but did buy the 16gb. He wants a laptop but told him he can use mine. Sometimes it is hard to hold back since he is an only child. I usually buy too much and pull some of it out for Val. gift, Easter basket and his birthday in April. My coworkers and I were talking about this today.

 

[A&M's Mommy]

I'm a little surprised at the comments that 10 is too young for an iPad. Our kids are 9 and 7 and both have their own. They are careful with them and we limit the amount of non-educational use daily. My 9 year old wants a phone, but we've told her that is not going to happen anytime soon.

Every family is different. Our kids aren't ungrateful because they have expensive electronics. We teach them to appreciate what they have and to not always want more. We also teach them to take care of their things and that using their iPad is a privilege, not a right.

I just don't agree with the generalization that "x" age is too young, for anything. Everyone is different.

 

[Colleen27]

I still refuse to get them Iphones.

I draw the line there too because I don't believe in gifts that come with monthly charges. The up-front cost is high too, but not higher than some of the biggest gifts we've given over the years. The problem is that the service would be considerably more than we currently pay for the kids' lines so it isn't just a $400 Christmas present - it is a $400 Christmas present that costs ~$500/year to keep.

 

[Robbi]

IMO, it's a parental decision. Some kids will get iPads and be responsible and some will get them and be irresponsible.
The kids here need iPads for middle school through high school.

 

[POPCITY]

I think it depends on the kid. DS11 has had hand me down iPhones for the past 3-4 years, and got my 1st gen iPad this year when I bought a new one. He has a Wii from Christmas 2010, and a 3DS from last Christmas. This year he asked for 4 things, a $30 DS game, 2 Lego sets that were each less than $15, and some duct tape. If that was all he got, he would be tickled pink.

 

[Sparkly]

Lots of my electronics as a kid were hand-me-downs! My mum's old desktop computers, her old MP3 players.

My laptop is the only thing I actually own, that is, I paid for myself. I don't even have a TV in my room and I'm nearly 19.

 

[emma'smom]

After being a parent for 21 years I've become very practical. I'd rather spent money on what they want/use then spent less money on something they don't want/won't use.

I agree with this point. My dd10 has been saving for an ipod touch since for awhile now. She did odd jobs for her grandfather all summer and saved every birthday dollar, tooth fairy dollar, etc. However, just as she thinks she's saved enough....and new generation comes out. I can't see having her spend money she worked so hard to save on an already outdated piece of technology. Finally, I suggested that, if she really wants an itouch, that she ask for the 5th generation for Christmas and use her $$ for any accessories/games/music she wants (she'll never spend that much). I also took her to the Apple store to look at the iPad mini to see if that might be more of what she was looking for. She decided on the iTouch---and I'm happy to spend my $$ on something that won't be outdated before it's out of the box knowing that it has enough memory that she'll actually get some use out of it.

 

[kidshop]

I don't care what other people do or have, so I have no issues with my kids not having the latest whatever. I imagine they will live through it!

Call me a Scrooge, my purpose in life is not to cater to their every whim and comfort. My purpose is to get them to live happy lives they fund themselves as soon as possible. Who would want to leave the world of free phones and iPads that flow like water?

I was so proud of my nephews when they bought their first home (at like 22 btw) that they had milk crate desks, and hand me down furniture. You know, it's good enough until there is more money for the fancy things. The priority was the house and they could wait for the rest.

I want my kids to be able to wait. Delayed gratification is just about dead these days. I think it is one of the most important concepts to impart on the kids.

 

[Samar]

I have to curb my husband from buying the latest gadgets and games for our kids. Sure, they're cool to have but I am not going to have them give me "the face" when they receive something of less monetary value than the year before.

We bought our son a Kindle Fire for school. He does not have to type much of anything but he does need to Google stuff. It's small enough that he can tote around the house to get away from his little sisters. LOL

Our DD's share DH's iPhone 4 for games and basic internet.

 

[sk!mom]

Had this conversation with a friend yesterday. Her MIL is looking for something to buy for my friend's 10 year old daughter and the girl wants an ipad. We were talking about the problem with buying young children these expensive gifts as such an age. What do you do next year and the year after? It seems they get so much at such a young age it just sets you up fro frustration later when they have it all already.

My DD is almost 15 and getting her first ipod touch this year, the last of all her friends to get one. I know she will appreciate it, as she is very cautious with my money and I appreciate that.

I see how my cousin started her dd with the limo pick up from school for her 12th birthday and it snowballed from there to eventually a wedding that my cousin took out a second mortgage on her house to pay for. The kicker, the marriage lasted about 3 years.

It is hard to avoid the overbuying, where do you draw the line?

I try and adopt a live and let live attitude. If others can afford the nice gifts they buy then why would it bother me? If grandma can afford it then, I think it's awesome and I do not subscribe to the idea that buying someone nice gifts turns them into an ungrateful person who expects too much. Maybe because I have grown and nearly grown children, I realize that it's much more complicated than that.

I find that those who float your premise are often seeking to make themselves feel better about not buying these types of gifts. I have a coworker who constantly complains about cell phones and electronics for kids..."we got along just fine without all this expensive stuff." yes, we did...because it didn't exist! Now it does and most of us would want it if we were kids.

 

[Raspberry Beret]

We made the decision this summer to get our 3 children 16, 13 and 8 iPads for Christmas this year. What led us to that decision was the purchase of a new car where adding the Entertainment Package option would have been about $2500. We decided then that they would get much more use out of individual iPads which they could use for movies, music , games and ebooks at home and in the car. Much more cost effective too.