Too afraid to hope...

[luvthatduke]

TOV - I understand your wanting to feel secure,
by your personal definition (everyone's def. is different).
But...

You've responded negatively to each & every one of
the people who took time to post, give you encouragement,
and/or give you good, sound advice.

The last response you gave, to the waitressing post,
really threw me for a loop.

I believe you are currently employed, right?
And you said you "need to support yourself & DS."
What happened to your DH that you talked about
in your "Halloween Rocks" thread?
Now I'm really getting confused

If you need to work, and you have a husband that's working,
then why can't you take the risk (if you're not employed)
and take a seasonal position?
I'm really finding it hard to sympathize...

It's not unheard of to get a good start from a
seasonal position.
I started as Christmas help at a kiosk in a mall,
then they kept me on as permanent,
then that February I was promoted to Assistant Mgr.,
then the following February I was promoted to manager,
and then 6 months later I was promoted to a higher volume store! And I kissed no one's butt, for sure!
That was a while ago (I'm a SAHM now) but believe me,
I'm not telling you this to toot my own horn.
I'm trying to show that if you have the right attitude,
and if the management considers you the right
person for the job, anything is possible.

I pray for all the best for you, but you need to do your part.
Maybe if we knew more about the job you were leaving
we could understand better you're hesitancy regarding
where you go next?

JMHO...

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I'm trying not to be negative, but acting positive and trying to be a "Tigger" (as he is the most bouncy,positive Disney char I think of at the moment) hasn't gotten me anywhere. So it's just easier for me to be an 'Eeyore'. Esp when I've been looking for almost 2 years for a job, found little I even liked and been working a job that makes me more depressed every single day I go in. It's quite literally sapping the life out of me and today was one of the worst I ever had.

I went in and prior to clocking in, I tried to look at the day's schedule so I could guess what time I was getting off. He didn't put end times on the shifts..again. As usual. Hitler (store mgr)told me I didn't need to worry about what time I got off..I'd get off when I got off. That irritated the crud outta me.

If you need to work, and you have a husband that's working,
then why can't you take the risk (if you're not employed)
and take a seasonal position?

Because I cannot afford to take the risk of being out of a job in January. We don't make a ton of money and we are barely clearing the bills each month right now as it is. That's why I can't take that risk. I can't risk being out of work for months searching for a job with bills piling up around our ears.


TOV

 

[luvthatduke]

Ok, now I'm understanding the picture a little better!

Boy, your boss sounds like a creep...

I guess the only thing I can offer is to say
that many, many times people find themselves
having to take a leap of faith.

Only you can make that decision,
but as encouragement - when was the last time
you could "breathe" on your job?
Do you know what I mean?
It's like that phrase, "Waiting to exhale."
Bills, illness, bad neighbors, bad jobs, etc.
can make us feel like that - and that's how you sound to me.

Perhaps you could find it in yourself to
try applying at places you haven't given serious thought to,
just to see what happens?
And accepting the job that's offered,
without putting your own demands on it.
I've not heard of many jobs in my lifetime
that were a "perfect fit" to anyone.

Maybe if you try you can "let go" of the Eeyore,
(and some of the P-P-P-Piglet I sense there too).

Blessings & prayers for something better...

 

[Lucky4me]

I think TOV looks at every opinion even though she may not act excited about them. At least I hope she does. I don't care one way or another. I'm just nosy and very bossy too.

TOV have you ever tested for a civil service job?

You are very bright. Very smart. You certainly have a knack for writing. Can you type fast? Have you ever thought of testing for a civil service job? Some of those jobs make great money. You just have to test high and have a clean police record.
If I were you I'd head to the nearest library and look at the postings. Practice for and take every exam you can find. Who knows, maybe six months or a year down the road they'll call you. I think most those jobs start at $12-13 an hour and go up from there.

Some of the non testing post office jobs start out as temp and if you show up every day, turn into permanent after 6 months or a year.

My ex tested for mail handler for the post office when he was in college. 14 months later they called him. He hadn't got a job offer from anyone at that point so he took the job. He worked himself up from throwing sacks of mail to fixing and installing and now managing the automated equipment at the main post office in our city. He's making big bucks now. Not because he kissed anyones butt, but because he worked his off.

My oldest son tested for a clerks job in the county sheriffs office. They called him a year later after he had accepted a factory job making a lot more money than they were offering. He has since taken another test for the post office and if that one comes up, he'll quit the job he has now.

I'm trying to get my 18yo dd and other son to start testing too. One wants to be an interpreter, the other an electical engineer. They're both in college, but floundering. I figure if they start testing now, ace the tests after they've taken a few of them, who knows? In a couple of years they may want the job if they can't find anything else. It's always nice to have options.

If all else fails TOV, you have the most important job in the world already. Taking care of that beautiful baby.
Maybe your DH can take a 2nd job so you can stay home? How about babysitting? You have to look at every option. Sometimes after adding up gas and car maintenance, income tax, clothing, lunches and money spent on convenience items because you work, you break even by staying home.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Originally posted by TheOtherVillainess
I've thought of that, but the money is just too unstable for me to even seriously consider it.

TOV

I don't consider the money unstable at all. I made $1400 last month just in tips alone. I know that's not the norm, but under the circumstances with the devastation of Ivan, I have done very well quite surprisingly.

You have to think, servers only make about $2.13 an hour...I make $2.48 because of my position and I average about $250 a week and work about 25 hours. So I'm making about $10 an hour + my $2.48 bringing me to almost $13 an hour. I make in 4 days what takes my DH over a week and a half to do. The money is quick, but by no means easy. Waitressing is FAR from easy!!
You know what's best for you, but if your financial situation needs a quick boast, I would SERIOUSLY consider waiting tables. As someone else mentioned, talk to other servers in your area and find out how they're doing.
I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts.

One more thing, you mentioned in another post about servers only making their $2 an hour. The other day, I only made $40, but I STILL averaged $10 an hour because I only worked 4 hours. So even on a bad day, we (servers in general) can average out much better than $5.15 an hour.

 

[Crankyshank]

There is no way a waitressing job is less stable than working at Sonic.

It seems that you're truly looking for excuses to stay down. Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? That's what you're doing.
I know myself and others have suggested many many times for you to check out your local employment office for classes and assistance with interviews and brushing up on your skill sets and each time you ignore those suggestions.

 

[laurajetter]

TOV,

I think you're being too hard on yourself! Believe me, I know how you feel. I was laid off for 4 months, and after going on so many interviews, I lost my confidence. But looking back, there were reasons why those jobs I thought were perfect at the time really weren't the right thing for me and that what I eventually found was worth waiting for.

Something I realized during my interview process was that they are not just interviewing you, you are interviewing them as well! This always helped to boost my confidence and gave me a sense of empowerment. Ask them questions and look at it as though you want to see if this place is good enough to have an employee as good as you.

Please give yourself some credit and let your confident side show through! Going into an interview with the negative feelings you are having won't give you the upper hand. You really need to just act like you're starting the interview process fresh...don't let past interview failures take over.

Also, you are not alone...many people go on many interviews before finding a place that will hire them. Don't take it personally. Just keep on truckin'!

I know what you mean about getting your hopes up...I would say to not start imagining how great it would be to work there, etc. Just be happy that you at least have an opportunity to try for the position, and if it doesn't happen, oh well, just keep looking! I know it's a hard thing to do, but have faith!

One piece of advice...as soon as you get home after going on the interview, write a thank you note and get it in the mail that day. It's always a good habit to get into when interviewing. It doesn't need to be a form letter, in fact it is best to just get a blank thank you card and handwrite a simple but sincere note of thanks for them taking the time to interview you, you enjoyed meeting with them and that you look forward to hearing from them soon.

Anyway, good luck! You can do it!
Let us know what happens.

-Laur

 

[tar heel]

TOV -- Please take some of the great advice on this thread. You've got to get away from your awful boss. With a child, I honestly don't know how you are able to deal with not knowing when you get off from work.

When you do get a new job, work really hard to do exactly what the manager asks. If you consider that sucking up, then suck up and do it. When you have children to support, you just do it. I currently have an awful freelance client -- not easy to do p. r. for them, but I have a child in college . . .

I think the civil service testing and the getting advice at the employment office are both good ideas. Do you have benefits at Sonic? If you do, I understand that your hands are tied in many ways. If you don't, I'd try real hard to get out of there fast. Maybe you could get a seasonal job AND one waiting tables.

 

[janette]

Didn't you say that a Loews and some other stores were building out in your direction? They will be looking for lots of people, I know there are also some new grocery stores & pharmacies. All of those seem like good options and they will be hiring lots of people FT & PT.