Toddler on a leash?

[mandynee22]

Has she used one before? I got one for DS when he was 18m for WDW and he never even used it. It was a monkey one. We also brought a stroller which we had probably used a total of... 4 or 5 times in his life before that and he sat in that sometimes.
What leashes are long enough to stretch across walkways??? They're like 2 feet tops...
And I would much rather see a kid with a harness free to roam within limits than one who's been holding his hand above his head for 6 hours or is screaming because s/he doesn't want to sit in a stroller. That's just crazy. Some kids aren't cool with walking right at your side... toddlers are naturally curious- some more than others.

Ugh. And how is it demeaning to be on a harness and walking... but is OK to be strapped into a stroller? Not seeing the difference. So strapped and walking is bad but strapped and being pushed where ever someone bigger wants you to go is OK?

 

[gabriellyn]

I don't understand why so many people think that "ONE SIZE FITS ALL" for everything. Every single person and family is different and what works for one family may not work for another. And I think it is fine to offer an opinion, but when it borders on rude - really, is that necessary? Can't you just say it's not for you or your family? I would much rather hear a pleasant "No thank you, I don't prefer to use one" to some of the other responses that have been posted.

Also, I am appalled that people would have the gall to make comments or give dirty looks. Unless something is outright illegal or life-threatening why would someone feel compelled to offer their opinion when it wasn't solicited in the first place? If you can't say something nice, then why bother?

I am usually far too busy with my own family to even notice other people, let alone judge them for something. I just want to enjoy myself - whether at WDW or any place else. What others do within their families is their own business and their right as law-abiding citizens of our wonderful nation.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion - the question is, how should it be expressed? Is it necessary to insult someone when doing so? Probably not.

OP - do what you think is necessary and fits for your family - good luck!

 

[mandynee22]

Personal opinion - nothing better than seeing a toddler being potty trained and leash broke at the same time!

Always makes me wonder - if they do good on the potty training part - do they get a biscuit?

Can't stand seeing a child on a leash - seems insulting at the very least,

Find me a potty training guide that doesn't mention rewards

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

BOY!!! do I wish they had those when my boys (ages 27 and 30) were little. you BET I woulda used it!!


.

They did have leashes back then, as far back as the 40's. They were sturdy leather with buckles in the back so the kids couldn't reach them. My mother (65) has an interesting story about being tied to a tree while wearing one and being flexible (and bored) enough to figure out how to get out of it and wander off.

 

[TheAngelForever]

My youngest likes to dart off and has no fear of strangers. He enjoys walking a lot. Like you I used to cringe at the leashes for kids. A few months ago after a scare I looked into the plush animal harness. I bought a monkey one at Target for $10. We all love it. My little guy requests it. I know that we will be bringing it with us to Disney where he will celebrate his 2nd birthday.

 

[QueenMomof2]

People have opinions on everything and will "judge" you no matter what you do so I say do what you feel is best for YOU and YOUR child and don't worry about anyone else.

If you have your child riding in a stroller people will have an opinion about it.

If you have your child on a harness people will have an opinion about it.

If you are running after your child who's managed to get away from you people will have an opinion about it.

If you have a child who's having a tantrum or is upset people will have an opinion about it.

If you babywear people will have an opinion about it.

Honestly there really is no situation in which you will not have someone with an opposite opinion.

 

[snesius]

Each and every family situation is different. That being said I am bringing my Grandson, who will be turning 2, for a week by myself to WDW. I raised 3 Disney Kids who NEVER needed a harness EVER. My grandson is more active than most and will be wearing a harness for on and off busses as I wrestle with the stroller etc.:::::: ::

 

[its.just.ice]

We had our granddaughter at a different theme park and did not bring her "monkey backpack." We used the stroller, but not while in line. Well, she saw an opportunity for escape and crawled under the line barrier and started running away! Thank god someone was on the other side to stop her and hand her back over the barrier!! We thought we had prepared her by explaining the crowds and having to stay with us, hold hands, etc, but I guess there is only so much you can do with an active 2 year old who sees an opportunity and jumps on it.

We will be sure to bring it next time.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Ok, for all of the parents that are having issues with their kids running away, have you ever let them?

What I mean is, I had this issue with my younger one, so one day while in Disney we "set her up"-we had a large group of people that fanned out and waited until she bolted (she was 3). And we just let her go, kept her in sight, but she couldn't see us.

After about ten minutes, she realizes she doesn't know where we are and *freaks*. At that point we came up to her and she cried, and cried, and cried.

I explained to her "if you run away from Mommy, next time I may not be able to find you. Ever."

Sometimes learning important lessons are not pleasant. Doesn't mean they're not effective.

We've repeated this in the mall with other friends' kids-you have to have a group and you have to set it up so you can control it and keep it safe. It took one kid over an hour before he finally got upset (we decided he's going to be the one going on an expedition somewhere as a grownup).

I know there are some people out there that think this is much crueler than a leash, and that's fine-welcome to your opinion, but for those of you who would like your kid to stop taking off on you, I thought I'd share .

 

[momjilly]

Just got back with a very active 2 year old & we held hands.

 

[TheRatPack]

Ok, for all of the parents that are having issues with their kids running away, have you ever let them?

What I mean is, I had this issue with my younger one, so one day while in Disney we "set her up"-we had a large group of people that fanned out and waited until she bolted (she was 3). And we just let her go, kept her in sight, but she couldn't see us.

After about ten minutes, she realizes she doesn't know where we are and *freaks*. At that point we came up to her and she cried, and cried, and cried.

I explained to her "if you run away from Mommy, next time I may not be able to find you. Ever."

Sometimes learning important lessons are not pleasant. Doesn't mean they're not effective.

I just wanted to comment on this.....just because your daughter freaked out and learned a lesson doesn't mean all children will. We have 3 adopted children, we're actually their 6th home (foster home to foster home and one failed adoption, some shelters...etc). So 2 of our 3 could care less if they never saw us again, and we've had them for 2 years now. They feel no attachment due to early losses in life and that bond may never be felt, so we take whatever precautions we can to ensure their safety and our sanity. We have 2 on backpack leashes at Disney and one in a stroller....again, your lesson would have worked with our older ones, heck they cried when they were out of our sight at the Dentist office LOL But our 2youngest would keep on running and never look back.

 

[daisy2jae]

I personally wouldn't use one for my child. I would stay home if my child wasn't able to be handled by walking with me or staying in the stroller. I have a 9 year old, 4 year old, and a 1 year old. While Ellie was 2 and Jax was 6 months we didn't take them on vacation. Jax wouldn't sit still and Ellie would take off as soon as she had the chance. I made a personal choice to make a camping trip for our "vacation" just 5 miles from our home. This allowed us to vacation but be in a safe area. However if someone feels this is the only way to keep their child safe then they shouldn't be judged. I would much rather see someone feel safe and have their child safe than not use it to keep from getting looks. Your children mean the world to you and if that is the way to keep them safe then use it but again I would choose to wait till my children are older to take them. (As we are doing right now...hopefully when jax is 3 or 4 we can make another trip to wdw)

 

[Liljam]

I skimmed through the thread and I'll add my own comment without totally reading all of it. I will have a harness when my DS is slightly older. I was a little wanderer and I didn't have a harness, but I was lost in a water park once and scared to death. I may or may not need to use it for my son, but like many other things, I'll have it just in case. I don't take lightly though to dirty looks and comments though so if I were to get barked at for using it, I might reply with a very sweet "Aww, he just needed a leash, seems like you might need a crate for that little fit of aggression." Or I might ask if they had a bone they could spare. I'm quite sarcastic and defensive so this could very well end up getting me in to some trouble. I don't argue so well on the internet, because that seems pointless, but those souls brave enough to be verbal face to face might get a comment back. I figure, any choice I make as a parent is one I'm making for the safety of my child. I would first try to keep him in his stroller, but hand holding can hurt his arm after awhile, and I don't find much comfort in those carrier contraptions, and my DS doesn't either. I say to each parent, do what makes you and your family feel comfortable, but if you do use a harness, be cautious of people not paying attention, even before I read the thread, the thought of someone tripping was in my mind.

 

[chrisw127]

I haven't read the rest of the thread--this usually gets a little heated. I used them last month at WDW for my 22-month old twins and I loved them. Twins almost never get to experience the same kind of freedom that other toddlers do and my kids were thrilled to be able to walk around. Not all kids will hold your hand. I you have twins, you are completely out of luck because they'll never both hold your hand at the same time (one will lay down, guaranteed, while walking through a parking lot). I saw a lot of harnesses at WDW, some of them on older kids.

I'm always surprised that there's even a debate over this. In Europe most people wouldn't bat an eye--they are very common. I've come to the conclusion that some people are always going to be judgmental about other's parenting; those are normally the people with the most rotten kids. Funny, that way.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I just wanted to comment on this.....just because your daughter freaked out and learned a lesson doesn't mean all children will. We have 3 adopted children, we're actually their 6th home (foster home to foster home and one failed adoption, some shelters...etc). So 2 of our 3 could care less if they never saw us again, and we've had them for 2 years now. They feel no attachment due to early losses in life and that bond may never be felt, so we take whatever precautions we can to ensure their safety and our sanity. We have 2 on backpack leashes at Disney and one in a stroller....again, your lesson would have worked with our older ones, heck they cried when they were out of our sight at the Dentist office LOL But our 2youngest would keep on running and never look back.

Well, obviously your children are not anything close to typical, (and have very special needs emotionally, which you are very educated about)and I never stated "all children will learn this lesson."

What I did was share my experience for other Dis'ers that may have similar kids with similar issues.

I can't tell you how many good ideas I've stumbled across as a parent on this board where I was like, huh, never even thought of trying that and it *worked*!

Ok, and I just have to add, I keep seeing these posts that say "my kid won't sit in a stroller" and "my kid won't hold my hand".

What are you going to do as parents when they get older and they "won't do their homework" and "won't obey curfew"?

 

[MissouriPrincess]

QueenMomof2 said just what I was thinking...

People will judge you no matter what you do as a parent.

I say use a leash if it's right for you. I used one.

I also used a stroller or wagon at theme parks for as long as she would sit in it.

On my only visit to WDW, I lost my grandma. She left her purse in ladies room and went back for it. My mom and I somehow missed her when she came out. We spent nearly two hours looking for her. These child escape-artist stories reminded me of that...but I digress

People will make their comments all the time, and it took me awhile to learn to ignore people who had no idea about what was going on with a situation. My daughter has sensitivity issues, and many times I'm sure I looked like a "bad mommy." My daughter is now eleven, and things are better, but weird stuff still happens with her, like when we went to a museum this summer and she refused to go in a room that was painted like a checkerboard.

Just do what you know in your heart is best for you and your child, and enjoy your trip.

 

[Briar_Rose]

I tried the controlled "abandonment" idea with DD. She never got upset. She is very friendly and has never had stranger anxiety. She is also very independent and strong willed. She would sit in her stroller for a while but eventually wanted to walk. She has been able to extricate herself from any stroller or cart strap even causing herself pain to do so. We have just let her scream for awhile hoping she would give up and stay in the stroller but that didn't always work. I generally make her hold my hand or DH carries her, but we have used her backpack animal harness on occasion. My parents (70 years old) asked us to get it when they went with us to WDW for 2nd b-day, because if she got away from them they knew they may not be able to catch her. The strap is 2 feet long or less and pink (very visible). If you are that close to my kid and I that you can fit between that length you are way too close (even without the harness you would probably end up knocking her over). I still watch her like a hawk though, since she can still touch things she isn't supposed to, or get into other sorts of trouble. The backpack kind are so common now, that we have never received a negative response.

 

[Trinity524]

Here's my 2 cents.... I read this thread because I thought about buying one for my son who will be 22 months when we go again. I loved the comment about the strapping into a carseat, strapping into a stroller and strapping into a grocery cart. I never thought about it like that.

 

[mjkacmom]

What are you going to do as parents when they get older and they "won't do their homework" and "won't obey curfew"?

Well, ds #1 wouldn't sit in a stroller, but now that he's 10, he does his homework - the difference - he's 10 , not 2. I, personally, have different expectations from a 2 year old than a 10 year old. I've only been a parent for 12 years, but I've learned that as they get older, they are better listeners...

 

[tasha99]

I haven't read the rest of the thread--this usually gets a little heated. I used them last month at WDW for my 22-month old twins and I loved them. Twins almost never get to experience the same kind of freedom that other toddlers do and my kids were thrilled to be able to walk around. Not all kids will hold your hand. I you have twins, you are completely out of luck because they'll never both hold your hand at the same time (one will lay down, guaranteed, while walking through a parking lot). I saw a lot of harnesses at WDW, some of them on older kids.

I'm always surprised that there's even a debate over this. In Europe most people wouldn't bat an eye--they are very common. I've come to the conclusion that some people are always going to be judgmental about other's parenting; those are normally the people with the most rotten kids. Funny, that way.

I think culture plays a big role in this. There are cultures that view cribs as barbaric, like it's a little prison for babies, yet Americans use them all the time. I was okay with strollers, but much preferred a backpack for kids up to 4 years old. One parent may find a child harness to be too much like a dog leash, while another parent may find strollers too binding and restrictive. Whatever--either way works and it always just baffles me when someone thinks one way is morally superior to the other way. There is no right or wrong with child leash/harnesses--they just either work for a particular kid and family or don't. It's totally valid to say they don't work for a family due to cultural issues, but that can't apply to ALL families. That would be like saying someone is morally right for using chopsticks instead of a fork or vice versa.