Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[herdtoDisney]

I could give a flying flip if you want to put a leash on your kid, but you better believe you will get an earful from me if your kid is no longer being watched because they are leashed, and they trip my kid. It happened more than once on our last trip. Just because they are leashed doesn't mean you can take your eyes off of them. Nothing like a sweaty stranger's kid wrapping themselves around your legs in a crowd. It is disgusting and awkward to have some sweaty, strange man trying to untangle their kid from your body, who continues to not stand still like their father repeatedly asked them to.

I have been tangled up at least once on 3 of our last 5 trips. So please, if you use them, fine, but please continue to watch where your child is going. Keep the length short because if you don't, people can get hurt.

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I was at an amusement park last year and there was a couple with a little boy who had on one of those backpack leashes-the kid ran all over the place to the length of his leash while his parents hung on and looked at their phones! I moved all my kids and me over to the edge of the sidewalk so we didn't get entangled-I don't think the parents even noticed, and had one of us tripped over the leash, their kid could have gotten hurt.

I've seen parents use the harness where they just hold the leash loosely, as a backup, and still hold hands and teach the child to stay close. But then you have those who let the kid run all over like a dog. I had a couple of runners myself, so I understand wanting the safety aspect in crowds. Although I didn't use harnesses, I've never said anything to someone who does-although I wanted to say something to the couple in the first paragraph

 

[CandleontheWater]

I know for most standard backpack/leashes (like the every present monkey) the leash part is really short. I don't think there is any way that DS could wrap himself around someones legs with that little amount of slack. I've seen some leashes that wrap around wrists that are longer, but most of the standard backpacks are really short.

 

[smitch425]

Many "superior parents" like to chalk up their child's behavior to "superior parenting." As in "my child behaves better because I am a better parent than you," when in fact that TYPICALLY not the case.

Maybe a child doesn't wander because s/he is terrified of the parental consequences (not good)
Maybe the child is terrified in general, always afraid to do anything alone (not good)
Maybe the child lacks curiosity (really not good)
Or maybe the child is just very cooperative by nature (lucky lucky parents)Characteristics that make kids wander are actually good characteristics as adults- independence, confidence, curiosity. We as parents need to find the safe boundaries for these.

I was convinced that I was a failure as a parent with my son. He refuses most food, gets stressed out and has terrible public meltdowns, got lost in food court at POFQ (for <2mins). my daughter is a dream. She will do ANYTHING I ask her to do eat anything, is trying to read at two. I raised both kids. DS was finally tested and has sensory processing problems and got ceiling scores on several subsets of the WISC. He has fantastic qualities. I never put him on a harness, but I NEVER judge another mom for her choice to do it. Watching my kids separately, you would think they were from two different planets, forget parents. It wasn't what I did- it's who they are!

So lucky parents with mild mannered kids- controlling mommies with sweating kids in strollers all day to contain them rather than letting them walk happily on a leash, whatever. Kids are resilient, and a day spent walking around THE WORLD pursuing their own interests safely? GOOD PARENTING in my book!

I have to respectfully disagree with the bolded. First, how is it "not good" that a child doesn't wander off because they are taught that there are consequences for doing so? When a child does something they are not supposed to do you have to discipline and correct them so they don't do it again. That is the very basics of parenting--teaching your child right from wrong. Kids aren't born knowing they can't wander off. They have to be taught.

The seconded bolded statement is extrememly judgemental. My kids rode contently in strollers at Disney World when they were little-- by their own choice. Just because a kid is in a stroller doesn't mean their parent is a "controlling mommy".

A lot of passing judgement going on in this thread, which is sad. People need to do what they think is best for their own child--nothing more. If you use a leash or not is an individual choice, but like I said before, it only becomes an issue if your leash affects another guest directly. Otherwise, it is no one else's business.

 

[twinboysmom]

I have to respectfully disagree with the bolded. First, how is it "not good" that a child doesn't wander off because they are taught that there are consequences for doing so? When a child does something they are not supposed to do you have to discipline and correct them so they don't do it again. That is the very basics of parenting--teaching your child right from wrong. Kids aren't born knowing they can't wander off. They have to be taught.

The seconded bolded statement is extrememly judgemental. My kids rode contently in strollers at Disney World when they were little-- by their own choice. Just because a kid is in a stroller doesn't mean their parent is a "controlling mommy".

A lot of passing judgement going on in this thread, which is sad. People need to do what they think is best for their own child--nothing more. If you use a
leash or not is an individual choice, but like I said before, it only becomes an issue if your leash affects another guest directly. Otherwise, it is no one else's business.

I get what you're saying in your 2 posts on this thread. And while you have accused other posters of being judgmental, perhaps you might reread your posts as well. They might be interpretted as judgmental although I don't think you meant them to be such.

I was one of the parents that accused 2 posters of being "perfect parents". Perhaps you will reread their posts and yes, they were extremely judgmental, condescending, and basically blamed bad parenting. It was implied that we who choose to harness our children are not teaching our children to behave or that running away is wrong. I can assure you that most of us are indeed attempting to do so. Not all younger children are capable of understanding the consequences of their actions. My 2 year olds (one more so) are immature, impulsive, and despite my best efforts, still does not understand that darting away is not acceptable. But as he gets older, we are slowly doing better. They both love their stroller but we choose not to leave them in it at all times because then they will never understand.

As for rude parents, they come in all shapes and sizes, from all demographic groups, some leash and some don't. Some use their stroller to ram other people's ankles but most are polite and if they accidentally nip your ankles they apologize. Same with most parents that harness their kids. There are always a few bad apples that do it for the wrong reasons.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Did anyone else see Modern Family last night with Lily on the "leash" at Disneyland?!?! I was thinking of this thread!

 

[disneymomjcs]

They went to Disneyland with Lilly wearing a Monkey backpack. Very ironic as I've been reading this thread!

 

[Wadecool]

 

[elaine amj]

Many "superior parents" like to chalk up their child's behavior to "superior parenting." As in "my child behaves better because I am a better parent than you," when in fact that TYPICALLY not the case.
I was convinced that I was a failure as a parent with my son. He refuses most food, gets stressed out and has terrible public meltdowns, got lost in food court at POFQ (for <2mins). my daughter is a dream. She will do ANYTHING I ask her to do eat anything, is trying to read at two. I raised both kids. DS was finally tested and has sensory processing problems and got ceiling scores on several subsets of the WISC. He has fantastic qualities. I never put him on a harness, but I NEVER judge another mom for her choice to do it. Watching my kids separately, you would think they were from two different planets, forget parents. It wasn't what I did- it's who they are!

So lucky parents with mild mannered kids- controlling mommies with sweating kids in strollers all day to contain them rather than letting them walk happily on a leash, whatever. Kids are resilient, and a day spent walking around THE WORLD pursuing their own interests safely? GOOD PARENTING in my book!

I always laugh at "perfect" parents. I remember taking my son to piano lessons (group lessons with 5-6 kids) and he was squirmy and it wasn't always easy to keep him sitting still and engaged. He often got distracted (he was 5). One mom with a little angel for a daughter used to give me dirty looks. I just laughed to myself - I have one of those too. When my DD was in piano, I was the one with the angelic daughter watching the other poor parent deal with an energetic boy. My boy just moved much more than girls do so you do have to constantly stay on top of him and remind him to sit still, etc.

Sometimes it's not your "perfect" parenting skills - every kid is different. Back to topic - I was lucky enough that neither of my kids were runners. I had a leash - but ony used it for my DD for a couple of months when I was heavily pregnant with DS when we went for walks on the street as I worried about her dropping my hand and running off (I coul;dn't chase her easily). She wasn't a runner, so it wasn't really necessary - but it was MUCH nicer walking with a leash than for her to stretch her little arms up to me.

 

[tyzzle]

I am lucky with my 4 y.o. and 15 month old (so far) and haven't had to use them. I don't care what anyone else does, and understand that all children are different. However I do hate when I see parents using them incorrectly; I am in a large city and I have often seen distracted parents talking on cell phones letting their kids run and pull, sometimes screaming, at the end of the harness. My friends have used harnesses and would never let their children behave like that. It is ridiculous. Parents should still be working on teaching the child to walk properly and not run away.

 

[2binak]

We are used one for DD when she was 21 months old. She wasn't a runner, but we wanted her to have some freedom and we didn't want to hold the poor kid's arm up over her head - have you tried to hold your arm up over your head for more than a minute or two? - it's not comfortable.

We never had any negative comments and even if we did, I wouldn't have cared. It worked for us and that's all that matter. We did get many comments from other toddler parents such as, "Where did you get that? Did you buy it here?" & "Oh how I wish I had thought of getting one of those!"

As long as you use it safely & wisely (don't use it in crowded areas, don't pull your child around with it, don't use it as a babysitter while you update FB or read your e-mial, etc.) I think they can be great.

 

[danielle79]

Well I must say I would be someone giving you "a look" I personally think leashes are for dogs not kids! Pick the child up, hold his hand, put him in a stroller anything but a leash! We went to Disney 2 years ago and a family had all three of their children on leashes and I swear the oldest had to be 8! I told my children they have never been in a leash and never will be when they asked "why those parents had leashes on the kids?" I treat my children like little people not pets!

 

[andieb0602]

I leash my youngest for the same reason I leash my dogs: while they are well behaved they are also easily excited and could run off. I would feel horrible if something happened to them and I could have prevented it.

The kids do object to being put in crates so DH and I can go out for a date, though.

 

[tinkerpea]

Well I must say I would be someone giving you "a look" I personally think leashes are for dogs not kids! Pick the child up, hold his hand, put him in a stroller anything but a leash! We went to Disney 2 years ago and a family had all three of their children on leashes and I swear the oldest had to be 8! I told my children they have never been in a leash and never will be when they asked "why those parents had leashes on the kids?" I treat my children like little people not pets!

You would give a look to a parent who is doing everything they can to keep their child safe,and who has nothing to do with you!!?

Also how do you know that the 8 yr old was not a special needs child? If i saw you giving me a look Id be sure to give you a word or 2 back
Just because you dont leash your child does not mean ITS WRONG to do it

 

[tinkerpea]

I find it interesting that as soon as someone on this thread says they don't believe in the use of a leash, they are immediately accused of thinking of themselves as "perfect parents" that need to enlighten leash users. I haven't read ONE post that said anything about leash users being terrible parents, so what is with the attitude???

I could give a flying flip if you want to put a leash on your kid, but you better believe you will get an earful from me if your kid is no longer being watched because they are leashed, and they trip my kid. It happened more than once on our last trip. Just because they are leashed doesn't mean you can take your eyes off of them. Nothing like a sweaty stranger's kid wrapping themselves around your legs in a crowd. It is disgusting and awkward to have some sweaty, strange man trying to untangle their kid from your body, who continues to not stand still like their father repeatedly asked them to.

I have been tangled up at least once on 3 of our last 5 trips. So please, if you use them, fine, but please continue to watch where your child is going. Keep the length short because if you don't, people can get hurt.

And seriously, there is no reason for all of the "perfect parent" nonsense and rudeness in this thread. Just because someone has a kid that doesn't require a leash or that will sit contently in a stroller all day, does not mean they think they are the perfect parent.

I have to agree with some of the other posters there definatly have been other posters on here that are saying other people that leash are WRONG and that they are not parenting correctly IMHO they deserve the whole "perfect parent" phrase!

 

[tinkerpea]

I hate leashes with a passion and would never use one, and hate seeing them on kids. And especially when I see them on kids 3 and up! (that aren't special needs)

There is a middle ground between being in the stroller and holding hands. I only held my toddlers hands for serious things like parking lots or crossing streets. At Disney or stores they walked with me or held onto the stroller or cart.
Children can be taught to stay with you, you have to be consistent and tough. They have to know you mean it every single time, no exceptions.

There can be a few special cases with special needs children but even then not all children.

Hi Im not sure how you can tell if a child 3 or up is special needs they dont walk around with a sighn saying they have a disability Or at least my child doesnt,
I know many children with special needs( Ive worked with familys ) and many you would have no idea....I was just wondering how you can tell since you said about hating seeing leashed on children even more so on 3 & up unless special needs.
Just curious

 

[danielle79]

You would give a look to a parent who is doing everything they can to keep their child safe,and who has nothing to do with you!!?

Also how do you know that the 8 yr old was not a special needs child? If i saw you giving me a look Id be sure to give you a word or 2 back
Just because you dont leash your child does not mean ITS WRONG to do it

I think that leashing a special needs child would be even worse than an average hyperactive child. I'm not a perfect parent and will make mistakes in my life but I feel very strongly that leashes are not for people, young or old, special needs or not. I treat my kids with respect and leashing a child is disrespectful! Side note, if they didn't make cute little monkey back pack, society friendly child harnesses, would you just tie a rope around the child's chest?

 

[lovetogowdw]

It is never a bad idea to put a little tag, wristband, etc. on your young child that has your mobile phone contact info on it in case your child bolts.

After seeing a little girl (maybe 2.5 years old) who had lost her parents melt TOTALLY down on Main Street one trip, I vowed never to leave my hotel room again without labeling my little one. If they are too young to know your name and cell phone number, then put it on them. If you forget, the Information centers (where you can make meal reservations, etc.) in each of the parks has little labels and safety pins.

 

[englishteacha]

I think the harness things are great. My nephew has autism and is crazily fast. If he took off, you couldn't catch him, and he was so trusting of strangers someone easily could have taken him. We had a wrist leash for him when he was about 3. It was wonderful to know that he couldn't/wouldn't get lost. I know some people don't like the harness/leash things for kids, but I would rather know my child is safe. If we take our child someplace busy when she's little and walking, we'll likely have something to tether her to us.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Leashes are for pets, not children. If you can't run after your child it's time to invest in a gym membership or bootcamp or keep them in a stoller. I could never embarrass my child or myself by displaying my inability to keep up with her.

 

[mjkacmom]

Leashes are for pets, not children. If you can't run after your child it's time to invest in a gym membership or bootcamp or keep them in a stoller. I could never embarrass my child or myself by displaying my inability to keep up with her.

It must be really tough to keep up with only one child, a Princess child.... Actually, with all of the fat kids out there, maybe we should all be re-thinking strapping them in a stroller all of the time.