To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[MagicalMom]

And another thing...

This really ought to be retitled "Parents of Pre-Teens", because these really aren't teen issues. All of the 15 - 18 year olds I know fought these battles with their parents 3 or 4 years ago.

That's the truth! Most teens I know are arguing that "everyone else" has a brand new car, belly button pierced & tattoos! I keep telling DD she can pierce anything she wants in 3 years & 3 1/2 months!

 

[drgnfly30]

I also decided they could lock their room, what the heck I'll buy them
a refrigrator too.

Bawhaha!! I forgot my DS16 DOES have a fridge (mini) in his room!!!!

I've only gotten to page 12 & while its hilarious, the whole blame game of the OP is indeed muffing up my feathers!

Yah know... back in 1982, when I was 14, I BEGGED my parents for a phone extension in my room.. not even a separate line (I KNEW that would never happen)!!! They finally allowed me to earn it through chores... Today it's Cell Phones, in another 20 years what will kids want that parents have to make a choice about?!

As an adult I have all the toys I want (Laptop, Razr, Nintendo DS, Digital Cable, Digital Camera, DVD-R, High Speed internet, Wireless network etc....) because I earned them... If my kids earn their 'toys' & I can afford to give it to them then I will & it's nobodys business but mine & DH's!!!

 

[imsorry]

That's funny...my DH and I often talk about parents like you too. We just scratch our heads and wonder why they think their opinion should apply to everyone.

We have tons of time to talk about it too...you know, after we send all of the kids to their rooms to check out porn on the internet and watch TV shows that are inappropriate for their ages. They can just pick up their cell phones and call us if they need anything....

 

[kmp1191]

No sarcasm inteded at all. Very sad, very honest. I went looking, because I was curious about haw the OP deals with the world. Please, OP, get the help you need for yourself and your son.

I was waiting until I got done with all the posts before I brought up her WISH journal. The whole time I'm reading this, I'm wondering if it was the "shot" talking. I got mad when I first read her entry, now I just feel sorry for the son, and not for the material items he doesn't have....more the maternal one.

 

[imsorry]

Bawhaha!! I forgot my DS16 DOES have a fridge (mini) in his room!!!!

I've only gotten to page 12 & while its hilarious, the whole blame game of the OP is indeed muffing up my feathers!

Yah know... back in 1982, when I was 14, I BEGGED my parents for a phone extension in my room.. not even a separate line (I KNEW that would never happen)!!! They finally allowed me to earn it through chores... Today it's Cell Phones, in another 20 years what will kids want that parents have to make a choice about?!

As an adult I have all the toys I want (Laptop, Razr, Nintendo DS, Digital Cable, Digital Camera, DVD-R, High Speed internet, Wireless network etc....) because I earned them... If my kids earn their 'toys' & I can afford to give it to them then I will & it's nobodys business but mine & DH's!!!

Off Topic: I LOVE BOJANGLES!!!!

 

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

You know Emmanuelle? I am too lazy to look up the content, so I am assuming that because my TV is in my family room, all programs are ok. Kind of like the fact that if you still have checks in your wallet, you must still have money in the bank.

Anyway, I believe my children will be studying space soon, so I thought it would be very appropriate for them to learn how things are done in zero gravity.

Parental locks - not needed. My TV is in the family room for all to enjoy.

Emmanuelle was around when I was in high school. She has been around the world just like Debbie who did Dallas, NY, Chicago and other states... if you know what I mean.

Although he's a A-B student he's at that age where hormones are at an all time high. With us having tv's in all the rooms except the bathrooms we thought it necessary to lock out the adult channels

 

[PaulaSue]

Tell you what then, you raise your child, I'll raise mine, and we'll be just fine.

VERY judgemental statement made by the OP above.

Ditto!

 

[Dodie]

Wow. I had a TV and a phone in my room when I was 12 - and that was in 1973! Not that that is right for everyone, but I don't see this as such an earth-shattering request.

 

[mom2boys]

My DD8 has a friend that she takes dance with..they are in the same grade ~ 3rd ~ so this girl is about 8 or 9. She got a cell phone fro her father and now DD8 has been asking for one!!! I'm thinking, why on earth would an 8 or 9 year old need a cell phone? Who is she going to call? Where is she going that there is not an adult present? Teens I can see having one, but a 3rd grader??? Makes no sense to me

Does this girl's father live under the same roof as the girl? If not, perhaps he would like her to be able to talk him whenever she feels like it.

 

[lw49033]

When I ground mine I have to send him to my room, because his has all the fun stuff!

My kids have to sit on their bed when they are grounded. They can read, but no toys or anything like that.

 

[HayGan]

Boy the OP would really love me since my 4 and 6 year old boys have a desktop and a laptop computer (nevermind that they are hand-me-downs). While I agree that some kids have many things that they don't need but want, what other parents do with their kids doesn't affect the way in which I raise my kids. There was lots of stuff I wanted when I was a kid - heck, there is stuff I want even now that others I have and I don't - but I'm still breathing and manage somehow to function in everyday life. I'm grateful that I can provide my children with things that I didn't have growing up. I couldn't care less what anyone thinks about the luxuries I give to my family using the money that I work for everyday.

Somebody is always going to have more than you. The point is to work hard so you can one day have those things as well. Not just blame others because they have something you don't.

 

[HayGan]

My kids have to sit on their bed when they are grounded. They can read, but no toys or anything like that.

That is more than my kids get to do. Mine get to sit in the hall and look at my pretty yellow walls

 

[drgnfly30]

Per your WISH journal:

Dear OP, if you are truly concerned with your son, then perhaps you need to look within your own walls for the issues. Maybe you've been drinking today...maybe that is what caused this flare or irrational thought...maybe just the taxes and the stresses of life, but to blame the world for your problems, and those of your son, is irrational. I've seen too many children adversely affected by an alcoholic or problem drinking parent. I see the heartbreak in the faces of the children in my classes. Please seek help.

How others raise their children isn't your problem. It is how you deal with the issues in your home.

Whoa.. just came across this & checked it out ... To the OP if you are still reading... I've lived with (& loved) an alcoholic for the last 21 years... I know from first hand experience the affect, living with a drinking problem, has on the kids, not to mention the ability to parent-well..... please seek some help.... here's a link to some good forums... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/
Good Luck!

 

[Chicago526]

I didn't read this whole thread. And I'm also not a parent (yet) but here's my two cents.

I see no problem with a tv in a room, as long as grades are good etc. I figure it's more thing I can threaten to take away and hold over my kids head if I need to!

Cell phones, I can see reasons for and against. I'd let my kid get one (age 12 and up) but I'd do it as a pre-paid. If the kid yacks too much, it just runs out of minutes rather than racks up a huge bill. Plus if he loses it it's usually cheaper to replace than on you're on contract for.

Computer in the room? Only if it did NOT have access to the internet. Any computer with internet access is going to be in a "public" room of the house, I want to know what my kids are doing online at all times.

At the end of the day, all we can do is decide for ourselves what is best for our kids.

 

[LisaNJ25]

My son is on a campaign because he wants the following items that "everyone" has...

1) He wants a TV in his room. Every child he knows has their own TV and DVD player in their room.

2) He wants a computer in his room! Of course, every child he know has one in their room.

3) He wants a cell phone. Now, he has a MIGO, which is a phone with 4 programmed numbers where he can reach my husband and I, but he is teased about it and he is embarrassed about it.


I don't get parents...Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room? It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them? So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs? What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it? I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

My kids have had tvs in their rooms since they were 4. I am sapposed to take them away when they turn a teen? They dont have cable but have dvd, vcr and video games. They watch better things on their dvds and vcr than sitting down with me to watch a soap opera or desperate housewives.

My son does have a computer. He saved up all last year and bought it himself. I do monitor what he does. We both have MYSPACE account and I am on mine more than he uses his.

I bought his a cell phone for x-mas. Its a tracfone. I will not add him to my reg phone plan. I wanted hime to have one since he walks home from school.


Hmm I guess all of these things make me a bad mom..

 

[Feralpeg]

My DD is 18. She does have a TV in her room and has a laptop. She uses her laptop to do homework. She does research for projects all the time.

We often watch TV together, but there are times we don't want to watch the same thing. I see no problem with that.

She has a cell phone. I consider it protection. I knew a young girl who was kidnapped, raped and murdered because her car broke down and she tried to walk for help. She doesn't go anywhere without her cell phone. That is my choice.

I don't think you should be blaming other parents for problems you are having with your son. All families are different. If you have reasons why your son should not have these things, explain it to him. He may not like it, but that's life. I don't feel I should have to justify the choices I make for my DD to anyone.

 

[momrek06]

TO the OP: To be honest I have not read ALL the replies..but here is my 2 cents. DH & I are very comfortable, we work very hard. We have two really good DS', good grades in school, good community service(both EAGLE scouts), worked good jobs while in school...basically never gave us a problem hence when they would ask for a TV in their room or a computer we felt they deserved it. Basically, my sons (23 & 20) have everything. They both got new cars when they got their license, they got accepted to fabulous colleges based on grades and are doing 3.3GPA (23 grad in 2004)(masters candidate)! They have cell phones, ipods etc. They travel to WDW and all over this country and Europe. YUP, DH & I give them everything BUT they give back in their actions as young men and in their academic performance. It is a win win situation, DS' do for us and we do for them.

Now my SIS, she has NOTHING, she is basically dirt poor. Sis works TWO full-time jobs. She has one DD! She has told DD from the beginning that they are on a limited income. My family does alot for her DD at holidays and her bday but throughout the year, DD knows her mom does not have what every other family may have..DD is not coming home from school suggestion that Mary has this and I need it too....IT IS CALLED COMMUNICATION! Sis communicates so well with her DD that DD is so stable that DD is a happy young lady DESPITE the fact she might not have what everyone else has..but she has her understanding and communicating MOM!!!

 

[kcork1026]

The ONLY people I know who would use the word 'parents' like that, without any qualification, are either non-parents, or teachers.

Wow....now my feelings are hurt , please don't lump us "teachers" in with this kind of post. Wait, do I have the time to have hurt feelings, that's right I do because my kids r in front of their tv's watching god knows what, while setting up their my-space account, while talking on the phone...so I have plenty of time, just to lazy!

 

[foolishmortal]

That is more than my kids get to do. Mine get to sit in the hall and look at my pretty yellow walls

 

[jonestavern]

DS17 has had a TV & computer in his room since he was 12.
There is no reception on the TV, it is for video games, all of which have to pass our approval--no mature rating, no shooting games etc
There is no internet on his computer.

Internet is only in the family room, which also contains our the TV which does get reception-there are massive filters on the computer & lock out on various TV channels-

DS will be getting a cell only because he is now driving. It is for our peace of mind as well as his-I think it is a good thing as we live out in the boonies.

IMHO, I think it's a snap judgement to blame parents for indulging the kiddoes in the electronic business. Unless there is a solid reason & there are many good reasons it is fairly indulgent to set up their bedrooms as electronic palaces. Just because you can afford something does not mean that it is necessarily good for the child/young person. Especially in the case of internet, wow! I am deadset against any 'private' internet viewing.

We are lucky in that our small community does, in general, more or less, hold the same standards we do. Of course I have also heard the moan of cell phone, so & so can play adult rated video games, so & so is going to see 'R' rated movies blah, blah, blah. When DSwas5 I was the biggest witch because I wouldn't let him watch slasher movies at his friend's house I can take the heat, heck I used to yak at my parents to let me have a phone & TV in my room. Got the phone--a pink princess--for my 16th birthday, got the TV when I moved out!

Jean