To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[lw49033]

I don't allow the kids to have a lot of entertainment stuff in their room either. It's not got as much to do with monitoring as it does with wanting their lives to be more than 24-7 entertainment. Nor would I, personally, give a cell phone to a 12-year-old.

To the OP, your house is your house. What other people do in their houses is none of your concern. Your kids need to learn to toe your line, not other parents. So take control of what you actually have control over, not what goes on anywhere else.

 

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

You know - OP - I absolutely agree with you. TV's belong in the family room and nowhere else in the house. It really cuts down on the time you have to spend monitoring what your child is watching. That is such a pain to have to stay so involved.

And how else are you going to teach your youngsters about the facts of life without watching The Baby Story or Babies: Special Delivery? I love to watch those shows and I make sure the little ones are right there with me, sharing some important family togetherness time. Our family especially likes he shows where the ladies scream the loudest. Our girls cannot wait for the cameras to be in the birthing room with them.

And I also agree that kids absolutely do NOT need cell phones. Never mind that pay phones have gone the way of the dinosaur. What is up with that? In the high school here, kids are not allowed to use the school phones after the last bell. Miss the bus - oh well. No worries though, my kids' friends all have cell phones and if they really need to get hold of me, they can borrow one of theirs. No reason why I should have to shell out the money for my kid to be carrying one of those things.

OP - you will understand this. I couldn't believe another mother last week. Swim practice was cancelled early due to a lightning storm and numerous kids did not have cell phones. And the pay phone was yanked out years ago. This one mom, who got there early because her kid had called her on her cell phone, had the nerve to tell her kid to hurry up and get in the car. Never mind that MY kids needed to call me. After she let 15 kids use her daughter's cell phone to call their parents, she said she had to go and made her daughter take her cell phone back and get in the car. MY kids had to wait the storm out because they couldn't call me and I didn't pay attention to the weather. Can you believe the nerve of that mother to not allow the rest of the kids to use her cell phone? If you are going to let your child have a cell phone, you most certainly need to accept the consequences of owning it by allowing others to use it.

And I have to agree with you that I need my kid to be talking on the phone in the kitchen. That way I can monitor very closely his every conversation. Isn't that what parenting is all about? Close control of your children?

Now, if you will excuse me, I just read in the TV Guide that Cinemax has some promising family television on. A show called Emmanuelle In Space. Emmanuelle, such a pretty name. It is on a bit late, but togetherness is all important, don't you think?

Ahh that Emmanuelle is well traveled isn't she

That's why I love parental locks

 

[Becky2005]

You can always use the argument I do when DD asks "when can I get a TV in my room?" - the answer - when *I* get one in MY room! ROFL!!! I never had a TV in my room *EVER* - I still don't. However, I also remember my parents going to bed after the news and I stayed up until midnight or so watching the tv in the family room during the summer - so I guess no difference (this was way, way, way before cable - the stations actually played the national athem and went off the air at around midnight!)

Now my daughter does have a computer in her room but that's mostly for schoolwork/games and only because my DH is a computer technician so we have a zillion & one extra computer parts laying around and he can build a cheap computer as soon as he gets all the parts - he just keeps everything around that works until something gets pieced together and wah lah we have a computer.

She has been asking for a cell phone and on occassion it would be a good thing - it still sticks in my mind the one time her gymnastics was supposed to have a make-up class (and obviously since we weren't the only gymnast there, we weren't the only one who thought it!)...no coaches to be found at the class - I was the only parent that stayed - all the rest had just dropped off as usual but I just had a gut feeling since it was a out of the ordinarly scenerio to go with her. I didn't have a cell phone, none of the kids had a cell phone - we were at the High School - after waiting about 10 minutes to make sure the coaches weren't late or something like that, we all wandered around the High School attempting to find the office since NONE of us knew where it was and this place is huge! I honestly don't think I could find it again - luckily there were some students milling around and we just kept asking directions on how to get to the office until we found it. We were just lucky this was at a time the office was open and I don't think the girls would have thought to do it (they were all a bit freaked out and weren't quite sure what to do!). Other than that we only got a cell phone recently and my DD certainly doesn't have one - here's my theory a lot of her friends have one and she can borrow theirs! ROFL!! Which she has done in the past...the only thing I can see is for after-school stuff because our Middle School is in the cornfields - it's really in the middle of nowhere and once the office is closed you are kind of out of luck. I had that experience where she didn't get home until almost 7 pm once due to staying after for a play practice, the activity bus was late and I was freaking out thinking "OK, now who do I call? The office is closed, I'm not sure anyone is at the bus company - hmmm...at about the time I figured I would just go ahead and attempt the bus company, I saw the bus go by"

So, at times I see situations for it...then again our 8th graders take a trip to Great America and I saw on the school info, that if the kids had cell phones to bring them with them to the park!!!!!

However, DD still doesn't have one, don't see it anytime close and if she really, really needs to use one, she can take her dad's as 9 times out of 10 it's sitting in the basement and we usually know ahead of time if it's an iffy situation where she might need the phone.

 

[kcork1026]

My dd 14 got a cell phone at the end of the summer, because we live in Phila, and high school students do not have bus transportation, she has to ride public transportation, and after all the "Columbines" of the world, I swore to myself that neither one of my daughters would ever not be able to reach me in the event of an emergency.

As for computers, my hubby is a computer guy, and with his work, my job, and 2 daughters needing computers for homework, not only does my 14 year old have 1, but my 9 year old has one in her room. I do not feel this makes me a bad parent. The 9 yo has no interent access, and the 14 yo has a router that I control and keep with me, and when I know she is online, I am in and out of the room. She knows this, she also knows that I check emails.

And yes both my dd have tv's in their room, tv time is basically the hour before bed. Again, does not make me a bad parent. My dh and I closely monitor what is on the tv's.

I could make nasty comments about all the parents that have bought their children Nintendo DS becasue my 9 yo is begging for one, but she has been told that we don't always get what we want. And that is that, I do not blame, or dislike the parents that have bought these games for their kids...it's life, we all have to deal with disappointments, even our kids!!!!!

 

[In a hurry]

Per your WISH journal:

Dear OP, if you are truly concerned with your son, then perhaps you need to look within your own walls for the issues. Maybe you've been drinking today...maybe that is what caused this flare or irrational thought...maybe just the taxes and the stresses of life, but to blame the world for your problems, and those of your son, is irrational. I've seen too many children adversely affected by an alcoholic or problem drinking parent. I see the heartbreak in the faces of the children in my classes. Please seek help.

How others raise their children isn't your problem. It is how you deal with the issues in your home.

 

[foolishmortal]

Ahh that Emmanuelle is well traveled isn't she

That's why I love parental locks

parental locks..pffft I'm too lazy for that, and at the same time I also get to stay lazy because they will learn it ALL from TV

 

[ckay87]

My how this thread has grown since my quick trip to the store.

I passed a couple of Amish families on bikes and buggies while I was out. Any idea how lazy THEY think YOU are OP??? Oh and add "sinful" to that also, but that's another thread.

It's all relative.

 

[poohandwendy]

Dear OP, if you are truly concerned with your son, then perhaps you need to look within your own walls for the issues. Maybe you've been drinking today...maybe that is what caused this flare or irrational thought...maybe just the taxes and the stresses of life, but to blame the world for your problems, and those of your son, is irrational. I've seen too many children adversely affected by an alcoholic or problem drinking parent. I see the heartbreak in the faces of the children in my classes. Please seek help.

Wow, that is really sad. This thread has been fun, but I sincerely hope the OP gets the helps she needs.

For her own sake, but especially for her son.

 

[kcork1026]

So am I lazy when I coach his little league baseball team for 3 months, and football for 2 months?

How lazy m I when we are at the amuement park with season passes all summer?

How lazy am I when he is honor roll and I help him when he needs help on homework.

How lazy am I when I work and am ABLE to provide him these "extra's"?

I guess I would rather be labled lazy than have to force my beliefs onto others.

Well said......

 

[vivilasvegas]

Per your WISH journal:

Dear OP, if you are truly concerned with your son, then perhaps you need to look within your own walls for the issues. Maybe you've been drinking today...maybe that is what caused this flare or irrational thought...maybe just the taxes and the stresses of life, but to blame the world for your problems, and those of your son, is irrational. I've seen too many children adversely affected by an alcoholic or problem drinking parent. I see the heartbreak in the faces of the children in my classes. Please seek help.

How others raise their children isn't your problem. It is how you deal with the issues in your home.

That post is actually very sad and nothing to be sarcastic about. Not saying you are, but hoping people won't use it to bash the OP.

 

[Jpgirl]

I don't concern myself with what everyone else or their parents do. And here's what I've always told my kids whenthey start that stuff ... Well "everybody" doesn't live here and if it's so horrible go find a parent of "everybody" and go live with them. Funny thing is most of their friends think I'm cool in spite of not being an "everybody" parent. So don't take it out on other parents. That arguement is as old as time-I used it with my parents too30 plus years ago. I find that by not being my kids' best friend I end up with a best friend anyway-or so myy dd tells me.

 

[In a hurry]

That post is actually very sad and nothing to be sarcastic about. Not saying you are, but hoping people won't use it to bash the OP.

No sarcasm inteded at all. Very sad, very honest. I went looking, because I was curious about haw the OP deals with the world. Please, OP, get the help you need for yourself and your son.

 

[kcork1026]

and a son that I'm actually going to play a board game with! Remember those...Board games??

I really don't like to say anything negative, but this is a really ridiculous remark.....because my children have tvs, computers, and one has a cell phone, that I spend no time with them, hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm, so who do I spend all the time with everyday that I don't have to myself. Oh yeah that's right the same children of mine that have the tv, computer and cell phone.

How dare you judge "parents like me"?

 

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

parental locks..pffft I'm too lazy for that, and at the same time I also get to stay lazy because they will learn it ALL from TV

Between the happy beach bunnies and the porn I saw in the computer history....well let's just say I didn't want my little man going into shock from too much T and A

 

[lw49033]

The OP simply needs to stop being a wuss and put an abrupt end to her son's "campaign" as she calls it. In this house he'd have been spanked and grounded to his room for about a month.

 

[Nana Annie]

Ahh that Emmanuelle is well traveled isn't she

That's why I love parental locks

You know Emmanuelle? She is not Snarky is she? I am too lazy to look up the content, so I am assuming that because my TV is in my family room, all programs are ok. Kind of like the fact that if you still have checks in your wallet, you must still have money in the bank.

Anyway, I believe my children will be studying space soon, so I thought it would be very appropriate for them to learn how things are done in zero gravity.

Parental locks - not needed. My TV is in the family room for all to enjoy.

 

[Tigger113]

My kids have had cell phones since they were 12 and I see nothing wrong with it. They had tv's,dvd players,playstations,& laptops in their rooms also and they turned out to be all A students through high school.

 

[foolishmortal]

The OP simply needs to stop being a wuss and put an abrupt end to her son's "campaign" as she calls it. In this house he'd have been spanked and grounded to his room for about a month.

When I ground mine I have to send him to my room, because his has all the fun stuff!

 

[mommy22gurlz]

My son is on a campaign because he wants the following items that "everyone" has...

1) He wants a TV in his room. Every child he knows has their own TV and DVD player in their room.

2) He wants a computer in his room! Of course, every child he know has one in their room.

3) He wants a cell phone. Now, he has a MIGO, which is a phone with 4 programmed numbers where he can reach my husband and I, but he is teased about it and he is embarrassed about it.


I don't get parents...Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room? It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them? So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs? What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it? I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

Ummm WOW......I haven't even bothered to read all of the responses yet, but you are a bit bold with your statement. Ya know growing up I sort of felt like the kid that didn't fit in (just like you say your son feels) just because my parents couldn't afford to give me what all the other kids had. And now that I have a 14y/o (and 7 y/o) and I love to be able to give them all the things that make them feel important and makes them feel comfortable in the world they live in today, and no when we were kids we didn't have cells, computers, tv/dvd in our room, but guess what? It's a different time now and the majority of the population of teens do have these things. So your so mad at us parents that let our teens have these things but your so busy keeping your child "sheltered" (from what? ) that you would rather make him unconfident and feel left out than to just accept the fact that these things would make him happy.

My 14 y/o does have a computer, my space acct., tv/dvd, cell phone which she text messages like there is no tommorrow on but WHO CARES. She walks around confident and happy and feels like she's part of the crowd. She an honor student, very respectful, the best big sister to her little sis and walks with a smile on her face because I respect her enough to know what it is like to be a teen and to want to belong. She is also the first one to come and plop down with us to watch a movie or play agame with us.

So I am not a lazy mom as you said, I am a mom who loves her child and knows that times change and kids need to fit in in order to be happy. I'm sorry for those of you who are so overly opinionated about "us" type but get over yourselves and stop trying to be control freaks, lighten up a little, life's to short.

I normally don't respond to these sort of threads but what the OP posted was very offending.

 

[thelittlemermaid]

My son is 10 and has had a computer and tv for 3 years now.

Lazy??? uh no...how about...he doesn't want to always watch what mom and dad watch...pick a dvd so you don't have to watch boring adult tv.

The computer is for games only...no internet..that's in view of the adults of the house.

Cell phone..he doesn't have 1 of those yet but probably around 12 or 13.

why?? I am sure he will want to be out and about with friends, and what if we need to get ahold of him. What if he is at a movie or mall and the payphones don't work...believe happens ALOT around here.

So lazy...uh no.

This is the same for my 9 year old, will be 10 in June. He has a TV in his room and only gets so many channels. Also he has a computer in his room that he can only play his games on. DH got tired of DS' games filling up the computer downstairs. I refuse for him to have internet up there. If he wants to go on the internet, he has to come downstairs where someone can keep an eye on him.

Cell phone he doesn't have yet. That will probably come when he's a little older and can get a job, so he can get his own.