To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[DisTeach1]

My son is on a campaign because he wants the following items that "everyone" has...

1) He wants a TV in his room. Every child he knows has their own TV and DVD player in their room.

2) He wants a computer in his room! Of course, every child he know has one in their room.

3) He wants a cell phone. Now, he has a MIGO, which is a phone with 4 programmed numbers where he can reach my husband and I, but he is teased about it and he is embarrassed about it.


I don't get parents...Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room? It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them? So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs? What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it? I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

 

[debster812]

Why do ANY of us 'need' a cellphone. We all survived fine without them. That being said, they are an INCREDIBLE convenience, and we will probably be getting one for DS when he turns 12 (3 more years).

That being said, I hope your post was a little tongue in cheek, because if not.......

Parents give these things to their children because the CAN, and they want to. To paint them all as lazy because a child has a TV in his room, or a computer in his room, is a pretty big sweeping generalization that is unwarranted.

I was raised in a very affluent community. My parents were working class (firefighter and school teacher). My brother and I learned VERY early on that a lot of our friends were going to have things and do things that we would NEVER get to do or have. And you know what, we survived. And both of us did get to experience some cool vacations when we got to tag along with friends.

And as far as your son not fitting in because of his things, kids are ALWAYS going to find something to make someone feel left out.

You do the best you can with what you've got, and hope that you've taught them well.

Sorry you're feeling so frustrated.

 

[foolishmortal]

My son is 10 and has had a computer and tv for 3 years now.

Lazy??? uh no...how about...he doesn't want to always watch what mom and dad watch...pick a dvd so you don't have to watch boring adult tv.

The computer is for games only...no internet..that's in view of the adults of the house.

Cell phone..he doesn't have 1 of those yet but probably around 12 or 13.

why?? I am sure he will want to be out and about with friends, and what if we need to get ahold of him. What if he is at a movie or mall and the payphones don't work...believe happens ALOT around here.

So lazy...uh no.

 

[disneysteve]

I hear you. DD started asking for a cell phone a few months ago - she's 10! The number of classmates who have one is steadily growing. I chaperoned a trip 2 weeks ago and several of the kids had one. Why? I have no clue. They were on an adult-chaperoned trip. Not one of those kids needed to have a phone for any reason under those circumstances, but there they were.

 

[threeboysmom]

Well, you can tell your son that MY 16 DS does NOT have a TV in his room, nor a computer, nor a telephone....

Now I am planning on getting him a cell phone for his birthday in June because he is getting his license and it would just make me feel better knowing he can always be in contact (not that he would ever think to call his mother to let me know where he is going or when he'll be home... )

Keep up the good fight!

 

[Boo'sMom]

WOW...well, my son (14) does have all of those things, but I take exception with you blaming me for your issues with YOUR son.
I don't see how you have a case against me because my son has those things (nor will I justify the reasons why to you....as I would not judge you for your reasons against), I see your biggest issue with your son and your communications with him....please don't blame other parents unless you've walked in their shoes.

 

[Miller1412]

I agree with you that for my family we don't let the kids have tv's or computers in their rooms, but I think it's going a little far to say that parents do it because they don't want to see their kids. There's lots of different points of view on what's good/not good for a family and deep down most parents love their kids and want the best for them.

Sorry you're frustrated with your son's list of wants, but stand tough and do what you feel is right!!

 

[cepmom]

I'm with you!! My teen does not have a tv, dvd player, tivo etc,etc in her room. Nor does she have a telephone in her room or a computer, laptop or otherwise. We refuse to get her these things for her room. She can sit with us in the family room to watch tv, or if there is something she really wants to watch and say Dh is watching the game, I will let her go upstairs to my room and watch there. Computer....no way. She woulds be on the thing all day and night...I'll let her use the one in the play room where I can see what she is doing.

Now she does have a cell phone, but she just got it last week and she turned 16 in November. She's not driving yet, but will be soon and I do like her to have a phone on her so she can get me in an emergency and I can reach her whenever I need to.


Her father bought her a tv and playstation for her room at his house but she's not there very often so it's not a big deal

She's not thrilled with our choices, but she stopped complaining so I guess she got over it

 

[DisTeach1]

No, this is not tounge in cheek. And, no, I don't think a 12 year old needs a regular cell phone to keep in touch with his parents! A phone programmed with the parents numbers works just fine, and is cheap too. And, sorry, but no 10 year old needs a TV in his room or computer for that matter.

 

[Cantw8]

While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, I don't appreciate some of the assumptions you make about parents whose kids do have these things. What makes you right and me wrong?

 

[Poohgirl]

Um, I'm sorry you feel the need to dislike parents like me. My sons, each have a computer in there room to use for home work. They are not hooked up to the internet athough they could easily be. They have Tv's in there room I guess because I did as a child. When they earn video game time they can play in there room, if they earn a 1/2 hour tv time before bed they can watch tv in bed. Otherwise its family tv in the family room. It has nothing to do with being to "lazy" to care to supervise what they are watching or to spend time with them. And yes, mine ask for cell phones too, and no they don't have them... It is all a matter of preference.

 

[Christine]

Be careful of the saying "but everyone else has one" because they DON'T. Granted, the majority of them do, but not all. My DD (14) pulls this on me all the time. For years, I got the "everyone has a cell phone except me" blues. We finally got her one after a few months into high school because it was convenient for ME. I was tired of trying to figure out what time to pick her up and the school has no phones the kids can use after school. Anyway, I digress.

One day her battery was out of a charge and she had to be somewhere. I told her that I needed a call when she was ready to be picked up. She said to me "but my cell phone is not working." I said "please use Jill's phone, or Kelsey's phone." Then I got silence. I said "What's the problem?" She said "they don't have cell phones." Hmmm...I thought EVERYBODY had one. You will find that not everyone has one, so if you are against it, stand your ground.

As for the other things--we aren't a family with a lot of "stuff" so my kids have to share the family TV and computer. Poor things.

 

[Patch'sD]

Let's see. Becuase you are in the minority you want to blame the majority. Why can't kids have access in their room. a little privacy to chat and watch what they want. Ok lets go down stairs and watch the Disney Channel with Little Sis and Bro, Mom and Dad, maybe grandma and grandpa. When I was teen I would go out most nights to be with friends. Now kids can hang out virtually. It is up to you to have some friendly family meals and see what is going on. But why can't the teen have some time to theirselves. I don't think we are being lazy, I think you are being too controling. You have to know what they are up to every minute of the day. Just checking every once and a while will do the same thing.

 

[DisTeach1]

Boo's Mom: My communication with my son is just fine, thank you. He knows and understands he will not be having a TV, DVD, TIVO, telephone, computer in his room. He's not happy about it, but too bad. I've explained to him that we will not make the same BAD choices that other parents make!

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

 

[foolishmortal]

No, this is not tounge in cheek. And, no, I don't think a 12 year old needs a regular cell phone to keep in touch with his parents! A phone programmed with the parents numbers works just fine, and is cheap too. And, sorry, but no 10 year old needs a TV in his room or computer for that matter.

And no "ADULT" should tell another how to raise thier kids!

 

[debster812]

No, this is not tounge in cheek. And, no, I don't think a 12 year old needs a regular cell phone to keep in touch with his parents! A phone programmed with the parents numbers works just fine, and is cheap too. And, sorry, but no 10 year old needs a TV in his room or computer for that matter.

Tell you what then, you raise your child, I'll raise mine, and we'll be just fine.

VERY judgemental statement made by the OP above.

 

[mickeyboat]

I, too hope your post is tongue-in-cheek.

Everyone makes different parenting choices. Don't judge other parents because they are making a different choice than you. Don't blame them when your child questions your choice, either.

I'll be willing to bet that no matter whether a parent allows those things or not, there will children who do well, and children who do not.

Denae

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ummm, first, no my DS does not have the things you mentioned...

Okay, second, don't you even know that the 'everybody else' argument, and the whining, are the oldest trick in the book. Guess you have never heard of the old "well, if everybody else jumped off a bridge...."

And, most importantly, this is just nothing more than thinly veiled PARENT bashing from a poster with the word 'teach' in their username.

Sorry, but there are those who will do things as they feel thay work best for THEIR family.

If I DID want my DS to have these things, your 'opinion' would be the very last consideration on my mind. Heads up.... I truly could not care any less if you happen to approve or not.

Sorry, but I can't help if if you are upset because you don't rule the world.

 

[buddy&wooz]

If it makes you feel better my kids don't have tvs or computers in their rooms, and the 13 year old doesn't have a cell phone. His 16 year old brother got one for his birthday.

But it doesn't really bother me that other kids have these things. Those are our rules, and my kids are stuck with them. The argument "but everyone else has it/does it" doesn't fly here, ever. As far as the teasing, it's a shame, but maybe a good opportunity to learn about how to handle peer pressure- won't be long before he's "teased" for not having a beer or a cigarette...

 

[cepmom]

I hear you. DD started asking for a cell phone a few months ago - she's 10! The number of classmates who have one is steadily growing. I chaperoned a trip 2 weeks ago and several of the kids had one. Why? I have no clue. They were on an adult-chaperoned trip. Not one of those kids needed to have a phone for any reason under those circumstances, but there they were.

My DD8 has a friend that she takes dance with..they are in the same grade ~ 3rd ~ so this girl is about 8 or 9. She got a cell phone fro her father and now DD8 has been asking for one!!! I'm thinking, why on earth would an 8 or 9 year old need a cell phone? Who is she going to call? Where is she going that there is not an adult present? Teens I can see having one, but a 3rd grader??? Makes no sense to me