To tell or not?

[becpee]

I was telling a girl I work with that we're surprising our DS with our trip and weren't going to tell him until the morning we leave that we were headed on this massive trip.
She said to me "Don't you think it's a little unfair that he misses out on the buildup, the planning and the excitement?"
She has a point
Now i'm in two minds about keeping it a surprise, the planning is part of the fun, and being that it's 6 months away if I tell it won't be any time soon
Now I sort of feel like we're ripping him off by not involving him

 

[Aust]

I wasn't going to tell our kids (10, 7 and 3) about our trip until the last possible minute (hopefully until we got to the check in desk), but it was getting hard to keep it a secret - and then we found out the dates of the 10 year old's school camp, which are a Wed, Thurs and Fri, and we leave for our trip on the Thursday! So we told them - mainly so she didn't think she was going to camp and then be disappointed to find out she wasn't. Also she is very volatile and you never know how she is going to react.

Anyway, the kids are really excited and are enjoying being part of the planning and anticipation now, so I'm glad we told them. But if we had the choice I would have left it until maybe a month before we went - 7 months is a long time to wait for kids (hard enough for me!)

 

[aussietravellers]

I have never organised a surprise trip. My DS has always known he was going and sadly as he has been travelling overseas a few times a year since he was born he's never that excited anymore. Don't get me wrong, he loves going, loves to travel and has an amazing time, but it's no real excitment or something special anymore. "We are going to WDW and NY". "Oh cool", back to the DS (nintendo, not DS as in him ) And with him knowing in advance never really makes much difference. I know what he loves to do, I know what to organise, where to go, places to visit that he will love.

So this trip I'm not telling him. I am ordering a TShirt or a hoodie from the Disney Store that say's "I'm Going to Disneyland" and the morning we go, he will get up and have his shower as normal. I will get the luggage in the car and pack without him seeing. Whilst he's in the shower I'll lie his clothes out, including the TShirt or Hoodie (wonder if he'll notice ) He is rather vague so it's possible he may not even notice. If not he'll soon work out we are going somewhere when we head to the airport.

But I think keep it as a surprise. Go with your original gut feeling.

You won't be ripping him off. Will he really be sitting online investigating all of the different things to do when you are away, or will it be you doing it and sharing it with him. If that's the case then he will get a surprise with every little part of the trip you have organised for him. He will LOVE the holiday wether he has organised it or not. My vote is keep it a surprise

 

[becpee]

I wasn't going to tell our kids (10, 7 and 3) about our trip until the last possible minute (hopefully until we got to the check in desk), but it was getting hard to keep it a secret - and then we found out the dates of the 10 year old's school camp, which are a Wed, Thurs and Fri, and we leave for our trip on the Thursday! So we told them - mainly so she didn't think she was going to camp and then be disappointed to find out she wasn't. Also she is very volatile and you never know how she is going to react.

Anyway, the kids are really excited and are enjoying being part of the planning and anticipation now, so I'm glad we told them. But if we had the choice I would have left it until maybe a month before we went - 7 months is a long time to wait for kids (hard enough for me!)

We're 6 months out today and i'm dying, I don't know how i'm going to get through life LOL

But I think keep it as a surprise. Go with your original gut feeling.

You won't be ripping him off. Will he really be sitting online investigating all of the different things to do when you are away, or will it be you doing it and sharing it with him. If that's the case then he will get a surprise with every little part of the trip you have organised for him. He will LOVE the holiday wether he has organised it or not. My vote is keep it a surprise

I sort of know what his reaction will be LOL although we've told him we'll take him to DW when he's 12

He's going to say "Oh My Goodness!" LOL

I think i'll keep it a surprise more for my enjoyment than anything

 

[Travel Mum]

Leading up to our trip, I read with great admiration of those Disboarders who had surprised their children on the morning of the trip. It was too late for us and I'm not even sure I could ever do it because planning a trip consumes me and I'd really have to be hiding from the girls when I was on the internet planning it. Plus, leading up to our trip, the girls loved sitting with me and looking at the rides they would be going on (You Tube videos were popular as were the short videos that WDW does for each park). We had our trip countdown (I posted a thread showing the Disney links paper chain which they took turns pulling off one day at a time) and that worked really well. Also, knowing about the trip gave the girls a goal for saving their pocket money.

 

[WAMUMOF4]

I have managed to keep the surprise for 5 months i dont want to tell them now and the planning has been easy our kids are always talking about what they want to do on our next trip so i have a constant supply of ideas.
Over the last 2 weeks with everything that has been going on it has been a relief for me that the kids had no idea that we were going and it has made it easier for us to change plans as needed.
On saying that i love the excitement of planning with the kids and the countdown the last 2 years and it will be dependent on how they react to whether we surprise them again.

 

[queenie82]

I don't think it should be left to the day. That would have freaked me out as a kid.
But waiting until everything is more solid...say a month out...I think is good.

When I was growing up mum had to all the planning through airline books and the telephone (none of this internet business) so I usually knew something was up from eaves dropping anyway.
We were always told in advance...but the planning may have been in the works for a long time...

I don't so much think it's unfair...but I think it is dangerous leaving it until the day before given it is LONG flights and a lot to take in if they've never been anywhere like that before.

 

[becpee]

I don't think it should be left to the day. That would have freaked me out as a kid.
But waiting until everything is more solid...say a month out...I think is good.

When I was growing up mum had to all the planning through airline books and the telephone (none of this internet business) so I usually knew something was up from eaves dropping anyway.
We were always told in advance...but the planning may have been in the works for a long time...

I don't so much think it's unfair...but I think it is dangerous leaving it until the day before given it is LONG flights and a lot to take in if they've never been anywhere like that before.

Don't you worry, he's looking over my shoulder at everything
Our last trip was 3 years ago and there was such a buildup, but yeah, the excitement of being told that day combined with 21 hours on a plane could equal some sort of a meltdown although he is pretty level headed (for a 6 year old ).

I think i'll play it by ear

I may have a meltdown the day we leave, this is massive for us LOL

 

[ExcitedSam]

It depends on the kids I suppose. I remember my parents surprised us going on a trip and we didn't find ut until we got to the airport! We were supposedly going to see someone else off. It was an awesome surprise and one I've never forgotten.

I would have loved to have surprised our girls this time, but I am too excited myself to keep it a secret.

 

[Andona]

We have never done a surprise trip. I think when the kids were very small that would have been fine (and fun!) but once they got to tween/teen stage I know that they wouldnt have been too happy to have it sprung on them. Mainly cause they'd want to talk to their friends about it and say goodbuy to them and that sort of thing.

In fact for our latest trip we put a few alternative trips ideas to DS to see what his preferences were. He really appreciated being able to have some real input and our final choice was heavily influenced by his preferences. Of course DH and I had the final say but this way we are all happy.

I'm also having fun chatting to DS about our plans for different locations etc.

'm sure you're the best judge of how your DS would take to a surprise , go with your gut .

 

[battymum]

I say tell -but not until you are sure - we have neighbours that are always saying, we are going on a cruise, we are getting a pool, we are going here, none of it eventuates - I dont know if the kids are eavesdropping on adult discussions of possible plans or they have actually been told this is happening, its not right.

But when you are sure, I would definitely tell, but maybe not so far out. I am sure my kids enjoyed the build up as much as I did. (maybe not), especially in the last few weeks. It also gave them a great goal for saving money. Our household budget was also quite stretched to accomodate the trip, so it was good to have reasons behind saying no to a lot of things, and for them to understand sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the bigger picture.

If you dont tell them until the day I dont think they would have an appreciation of how big a deal it actually is, and next time they are bored in the holidays it would be "lets go to Disneyland again"

My DH says a surprise is a surprise no matter when you find out, so we had that moment on christmas eve when I sat them down to a powerpoint slideshow I had made.

When I picked them up from school the day before we left they had like a guard of honour cheering them up the path, this is high school mind you, so I was a bit worried that the whole school seemed to know we would be away for a few weeks.

Just my 2c, but I was always perplexed as to why people do this.

 

[lovintheland]

on our first trip to disney the kids did a treasure hunt to find out 63 sleeps out from our trip and we all enjoyed the aniticipation and planning. Our trip in 2010 was a surprise for them until the morning we left. It was a hard one to pull off but it was so worth it. The kids still talk about it and say they wish they could be surprised in that way again.

 

[Ms. Shuttergirl]

I think either way is so great if you can pull it off. My DD13 would be annoyed I didn't tell her because she likes to help me plan. My DS9 would be thrilled although he is a highly strung personality and he could have a meltdown first, be thrilled second .

I would never be able to keep the secret so it's not an option for me but I love hearing about how it goes for others. Lots of fun.

I think with a 6 year old it would be easier to keep the secret so see how you go.

 

[Aust]

Battymum makes a good point about the money side, now the girls know we're going I can say 'No, remember we're saving for DL' when they want to buy unnecessary stuff at the shops! Also they are doing extra jobs around the house to earn and save some extra pocket money.

 

[alicia1506]

i think surprising your child with a trip is an awesome idea and depending on the age of your child may depend on whether you ask for input/consider meltdowns etc.

one time i surprised carlo with a trip about a week before we went... this way he had time to get used to the idea, ask any questions, do any research he wantedto do etc but still have it be a short time frame from the 'springing the surprise' to the actual 'we're going' stage.

then again, he's pretty placid most of the time and would love to be just driven to the airport before he finds out what's going on...

if your child is the kind to treasure a surprise and be really grateful, i say tell them on the morning, like you had originally thought, or spring it a few days beforehand, so that way the surprise is still 'fresh' in their mind.

if your child is the inquisitive and/or highly strung child, then maybe telling them a little while before could be helpful, especially if they will want to feel 'in control' of what is happening to them.

...

just my thoughts anyways..

 

[WAMUMOF4]

the saving part of the trip is exactly why we haven't told our kids DS14 has been so obsessed with our saving the last 2 years it borders on OCD if we went out for tea somewhere or went to anything that cost money he would tell us off because we were spending money that was for our trip thats why DH's condition on booking another trip was only if we surprise the kids.
It also helps for us that the kids know we are saving for our 2015 trip so they don't question much if we say no to something.

 

[battymum]

Can you imagine if any of our other halves surprised us with a disney trip - we would all have melt downs without being able to research or plan or make adr's. Poor DH, thinking he is doing the right thing........

I know its not the same situation, but it got me thinking.

 

[5ofus]

We're hoping to surprise our kids with Disneyland next year. I'd love to spring it on them the morning we leave. They'll only be 2, 4 and 5 when we go though, so I don't think it will be a problem in regard to the planning. We're planning a bit trip in 2015 too so it's easy to keep them in the dark - they think we are just talking about 2015 if they ever overhear anything.

 

[Mum from oz]

I would love to surprise the kids. DS is such a big ears though! I very much doubt we could get away with it. He is likes to know what is going on and what happens when and where etc. He might crack up if we did that to him.

I do think that 6 is a great age to surprise a kid with a Disney trip. I say go for it!

 

[Franrose]

We surprised our 4 & 5 year olds (both a few months off 5 & 6 at the time). It was the best thing for our family - they had a wonderful, amazing surprise, and we didn't have to spend months trying to explain to littlies that no, it wasn't time to go on holiday just yet (think "are we there yet?" on a much bigger scale, lol!). We had told them before we'd even planned our trip that we would take them one day when they were 10, thinking that was actually going to be the case, and so they already had the mindset of saving for Disney and were excited about it even though that was as far away in time as they had already lived at that point. So yeah, the surprise was the right thing for them. It also meant that they didn't spend weeks at school/kindy driving their peers mad with the fact that they were going. They are not the "nyah nyah" show of types by any means - we do our best to raise them the opposite (because lets face it, who likes a show off?) - but few children can contain that kind of excitement at that age and while it is wonderful news to share with friends, I didn't want their young friends to end up feeling bad about it as a result.

This time around, they know when their next trip is and who they are probably going with (another family). It is still hard to explain to them when December 2013 is; they turn 6 & 7 in the first few months of 2013 so it's hard to use their age as the gauge, even saying that they'll be six and seven and it will be Christmas time doesn't really help them know how far away it is so I just tell them it's a really really long time, lol. They don't care though - they just know it's a very special place to be able to go to and are excited to be able to go at all.