To go with the Peanut Butter thread: Do you think that PBJs should be banned...

[sara74]

I haven't read the whole thread, but DD has had 2 children in her class with life threatening allergies and DS's teacher has a peanut/tree nut allergy so we are fairly familiar with the protocols.

Our entire center is 'nut free' in that no foods with nuts are allowed. The children wash with soap and water upon entering the classroom each morning and the teachers are vigilant about food sharing, hands in each other's mouths, etc. The two boys in DDs room have life threatening dairy and egg allergies so when there is a birthday the moms send in a special cupcake for their child, they even bring on to an at-home birthday party. I will say that I do more laundry than I would otherwise as the teachers will change a kids shirt or pants if yogurt or milk, etc gets on them. They are very good, especially with young ones, about keeping those kids safe!

As far as the inconvenience of not sending PB&J - 3 years ago when I asked about giving PB to DD our pediatrician said, sure go ahead, but don't get her used to it since there will come a time when it won't be allowed somewhere that she is going. best piece of advise ever! PB isn't all that good for you anyway, so there are a million other things to feed a little one and then it never becomes an issue to begin with. DD has recently started eating PB on days she is home, but is by no means reliant on it for a dietary staple. And that makes the whole issue an non issue for us.

 

[maxtomsmom]

Perhaps we should start turning this thread around and suggest great alternatives to PB and J sandwiches? It's been a real eye opener. Some have started to do this. I feel very sad for those who have to deal with this. While my kids don't have any known food allergy, I have no issues with not sending in foods that would harm another. It appears that it is the nut allergies that cause airborne issues. So here are the alternatives we had to use when DS went to a preschool that was nut and peanut free:

yogurt
cheese sticks
carrots with dip
fruit kabobs
cereal with milk in a thermos DS got to pour his own milk which he thought was a big deal!
cold cuts (luncheon meats)
cream cheese and jelly on a bagel
butter and jelly on a bagel
soup in a thermos

My DS loves my turkey meatloaf with mashed potatoes. I would heat up the left over and put it in a thermos in layers with a ketchup packet. He loved it. It went over so well other 4 year olds also brought similar foods in from home.
We do this with other left overs like pasta, mac and cheese, manwich (sloppy joes) and I give him a spoon and a bun. I can care less about a messy shirt. Just put him in dark clothes that day. You'd be surprised how much a good thermos can hold. He still likes it and uses one in Kindergarten and probably this fall in first.

I'm sure there are other things that I can't remember. He had lunch bunch just twice a week. So that meant he could have PB and J on other days.

We mainly have a lot of left overs for lunch in general. So PB and Js are really when we have nothing else to eat.

 

[LisaFB]

I still stick with my soynut butter for those kids whose parents insist there's NOTHING else their child will eat but PBJ.

I also agree with whoever posted that you can't compare avoiding surgar foods with avoiding peanuts since peanut allergy is airborn. My brother was diabetic (passed away 5 years ago) and we had to learn to deal with that. My mom always made sugar free treats for him if there was a party at school. When he got older and learned to regulate his insulin, he'd take extra if he knew he was going to have a small piece of cake.

My son is starting Mommy & Me with me next month and I'm nervous. I'm TERRIFIED for the following year when he starts preschool w/o me there. But I will ask the teacher to give me advanced notice of any time any food will be in school, whether it be for a holiday or bday celebration. Then I will make something safe for my son and bring it in for him. You can work around any and all allergies/ dietary restrictions EXCEPT peanuts... like it's been said before, that's airborn. You can't just stop breathing just because it's in the room.

 

[ogreenlee]

I missed Open House at my dd4's preschool last week b/c we were at the beach. She started school on Monday and I fixed a PB&J because that's all I had in the house from our trip. We got back late Sunday night and she started school on Monday.

The first thing I asked when I went into her classroom was if there were any kids with peanut allergies, and for the first time in her three years, there was one boy. It just so happened that his birthday was the week before and his mom was going to provide pizza for the kids that first day. I took the sandwich out of her bag, and came on back home. No problem.

Today, I find out who the mom is of the boy, and I see her outside the classroom, so I asked her about it. You could see the fire in her eyes when I did. I approached it nicely, and in a manner of just wanting to find out what exactly he was allergic to, and to let her know that I was on her side. She seemed very ticked off that I would even ask. Her first response was, "Yeah, I know it's a pain. Sorry."

I told her that my minor inconvenience was nothing compared to her having to worry about the life of her child, and that I didn't mind one bit, and that I was just wanting to make sure that whatever I brought in was safe. She still kind of acted irritated by it.

I guess I shouldn't have even brought it up. I'm sure it's a sore spot for her, and she's probably had to hear a lot on the other side of the issue.

She got her son and walked off annoyed. I think I got my feelings hurt a little. LOL.

 

[Schmeck]

I still stick with my soynut butter for those kids whose parents insist there's NOTHING else their child will eat but PBJ.

I also agree with whoever posted that you can't compare avoiding surgar foods with avoiding peanuts since peanut allergy is airborn. My brother was diabetic (passed away 5 years ago) and we had to learn to deal with that. My mom always made sugar free treats for him if there was a party at school. When he got older and learned to regulate his insulin, he'd take extra if he knew he was going to have a small piece of cake.

My son is starting Mommy & Me with me next month and I'm nervous. I'm TERRIFIED for the following year when he starts preschool w/o me there. But I will ask the teacher to give me advanced notice of any time any food will be in school, whether it be for a holiday or bday celebration. Then I will make something safe for my son and bring it in for him. You can work around any and all allergies/ dietary restrictions EXCEPT peanuts... like it's been said before, that's airborn. You can't just stop breathing just because it's in the room.

Everyone does not have the same reaction to peanuts though - some are allergic to just the smell, others have to ingest peanuts to get the reaction. So, not everyone with a peanut allergy has to have the total ban around them, so it is possible to work around it to some extent.

 

[Girly_Qs]

I missed Open House at my dd4's preschool last week b/c we were at the beach. She started school on Monday and I fixed a PB&J because that's all I had in the house from our trip. We got back late Sunday night and she started school on Monday.

The first thing I asked when I went into her classroom was if there were any kids with peanut allergies, and for the first time in her three years, there was one boy. It just so happened that his birthday was the week before and his mom was going to provide pizza for the kids that first day. I took the sandwich out of her bag, and came on back home. No problem.

Today, I find out who the mom is of the boy, and I see her outside the classroom, so I asked her about it. You could see the fire in her eyes when I did. I approached it nicely, and in a manner of just wanting to find out what exactly he was allergic to, and to let her know that I was on her side. She seemed very ticked off that I would even ask. Her first response was, "Yeah, I know it's a pain. Sorry."

I told her that my minor inconvenience was nothing compared to her having to worry about the life of her child, and that I didn't mind one bit, and that I was just wanting to make sure that whatever I brought in was safe. She still kind of acted irritated by it.

I guess I shouldn't have even brought it up. I'm sure it's a sore spot for her, and she's probably had to hear a lot on the other side of the issue.

She got her son and walked off annoyed. I think I got my feelings hurt a little. LOL.

That seems silly (her reaction). I'm *sure* that she's used to being put on the defensive (so I can understand her initial 'bracing for a fight' reaction), but after you'd made it clear that you were "on her side" and just looking for clarification to help create a safe environment - the *least* she could have done was be courteous!

I think you did the right thing in trying to reach out to her and asking the questions (rather than making an assumption - say, that 'as long as he doesn't eat it' kind of thing). It sounds as though your heart was definitely in the right place, and you made far more effort than I'd bet most people would. You can't do more than that, and you (unfortunately) can't stop others bad behavior/poor manners!

 

[LisaFB]

ogreenlee, I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm VERY appreciative whenever anyone asks me about Seth's allergies and what they can do to help. That mom should have thanked you for your concern IMO. Parents like you are rare from what I've seen, very few (except my closest friends) are willing to even try to understand or accept that this is not something we're playing at, it's a matter of life and death for my son (with milk at least). You did the right thing for sure!

Schmeck, that's true. We think (not willing to try it until we have to) that Seth is only reactive if he ingests them (he does react when they are served on a plane but that's also an enclosed place with recycled air). When the time comes for him to go to school, if the school isn't PN free then we'll ask the allergist what she thinks.

 

[hildarumpole]

That mother may have had her fill of allergy discussions for the day and you were just the last straw. I wouldn't take it personally. I hope I've never gotten snippy with anyone who approaches me about my kids' allergies, but there are times when I simply don't feel up to discussing it any more. There have been days when my daughter has had a hissy fit, because she can't have the birthday treat, then a well-meaning parent wants to have a lengthy discussion as to why my kids have allergies and all the theories they've heard about them, how they never knew anyone who had any allergies when they were growing up, what a pain in the neck it is, and that their child would die without pb&j. Dealing with life threatening food allergies is very stressful, particularly when kids go off to school. Although consideration from others is appreciated, sometimes we'd just like to be treated like regular parents and not the "allergy mom."

 

[LuckyMamaInDE]

I was never so aware of the food-centric nature of school until dd12 was diagnosed with food allergies this year. Yes, she is now allergic at age 12 to soy, sesame, peanuts, treenuts and watermelon. To say that it stinks is an understatement.

 

[robertsmom]

then a well-meaning parent wants to have a lengthy discussion as to why my kids have allergies and all the theories they've heard about them

Although my DS does not have peanut allergies, I can relate to this. I remember when I was accused of causing my son's diabetes by giving him too many sweets. I was in such shock that someone could be so cruel.

 

[mrs.beast]

i have posted here previously, but i am a teacher and switched to K this year. we have 14 kids with allergies/epi-pens. one teacher wanted to put out a sheet at our lemonade party next week (before school starts) where parents could write allergy info, or vegan info,etc. well one teacher said it needed to remain confidential. i asked why, because as a teacher of older grades, everyone always knew who the kids were that were allergic. she said in K no one knows in the beginning, and once people find out, the have been known to hassle and complain to the parent of the allergic child how their "problem" is taking away from their child's educational experience and inconviencing them. i was shocked, and found out that some of the parents at our school had even made a mom cry last year. they were awful. if a person had experienced this type of treatment, i could see them becoming defensive with anyone who questioned the allergy, even if the person had the best of intentions. it is really sad.

 

[LisaFB]

Robertsmom, my parents were told the same thing about my brother's Diabetes. You don't even want to know the things they are told now that he's passed away... {{HUGS}}

Mrs. Beast, I SOOO hope that's not me when DS finally goes to public school when he starts K. I'm terrified. At least I already know the pre-school he'll go to (and where Mommy & Me is going to be) is allergy friendly (don't know if it's peanut free or not) and has dealt with multiple food allergies before.