To bring or not to bring - The 2 yr old question

[MNRMommy]

My DH and I's 10th anniversary is coming up and we were planning a trip to somewhere. Since it has been WAY TO LONG since we went to Disney it seems like the best place to me. However I really want to take the kids if we go there (DS is 4 soon to be 5, DD is 2 and she is good at it). My DH is ok with taking our son but feels like our daughter is too llittle. I am the first one to agree that our daughter is beyond a handful. The child has no fear and is interested in EVERYTHING. This can cause issues. She isn't bad or intentionally mischevious she just has an incurable curriosity. That said he feels like for our anniversary the trip should be relaxing. He doesn't think she is old enough to know she missed anything. On the flip side our son is a quiet fun loving little boy who is OBSESSED with all things Disney. He would barely put a blip in the relaxation meter if he tagged along. I guess my question (or desire for advice) is should we take one, both or go it alone again. Will a two year old get enough out of this trip for me to fall on my sword about it?

 

[Selket]

As long as you've got a place to keep her while you're away that she likes then why not leave her - like with the grandparents or something. That said I've taken my kids when they were 1 and 2 years old but perhaps they aren't as curious as your daughter seems to be.

I don't think she know what she's missing. I think the key to leaving her is who you're leaving her with and her comfort level with them.

Have fun!

 

[Barb D]

Under "normal" circumstances I'd say take her: WDW is a wonderful place for a 2yo. But I can see your DH's point if she's not a laid-back kind of girl and he needs a laid-back kind of vacation. She won't know what she missed if you can keep her big brother from gloating about it too much. And you can always take her next time, when she's a little older and a little more in control of her actions and emotions.

 

[BevS97]

I couldn't leave my dd behind, but if it's going to make the difference between a fun relaxing vacation and a stressed out tired vacation, then as long as your dd has somewhere fun to go (like grandparents who will spoil her) then I would do whatever you feel would make for the best trip for you.

 

[minmate]

Last March, we took only our dd4 and dd5, leaving ds1 and dd18months at home w/grandma and auntie. I hadn't been to WDW since I was a kid myself and dh had NEVER been. Our trip was only to be 3 days and we didn't know exactly what to expect as all four kids are vastly different in personality and interests. Plus the fact that if we brought the younger two, technically, we'd require larger, more expensive accomodations... not feasible at the time.... so we took just the older two... It was a very special, memorable trip. I don't regret leaving the younger two behind; although, I was so excited to be able to take them, that when an opportunity for great hotel and air rates came along, I planned a trip with EVERYONE this June... it will def. be a less relaxing trip... I do expect more turmoil and "preventative parenting" on this trip. With the girls it was more like hanging out with our little buddies... occasionally guiding or re-directing their behavior. I think whatever you feel is best for you -- as long as you are comfortable with you decision... go for it!

 

[BelleBeautyandtheBeast]

Have you thought about leaving both kids at home and enjoying your anniversary alone? I know Disney is a great place to take kids and my kids love it. However my DH & I did a crazy thing a few years ago and went to Disney World alone leaving behind our then 3 & 1 1/2 year olds. They enjoyed 4 days of being spoiled rotten with all their grandparents while DH & I enjoyed a break from them and enjoyed Disney World in a whole new way.

Our kids are now 2, 4 & 6 and I will be returning to Disney World soon with them, but DH cannot join us. I know the 2 yo is going to be a royal pain in my rear but I love him LOL. He is your typical strong willed 2 yo who will only accept his way, which changes from minute to minute. I want that, nonono, I want that, nonono. He loves all things Disney and I am hoping the magic of Disney World will make him melt into a sweet easy going boy. I'm not expecting too much? LOL

Good luck making your decision. I'm sure you will have a fabulous trip.

 

[Luv2trav]

I 2 yo is a wonderful age to take your child... They are FREE and perhaps all the stimulation will actually keep your daughter out of trouble. Only you know best but I couldn't leave my child behind if I was going to WDW. If I was going to another location I could easily leave him behind.

BTW, we are leaving 1 week from now with a 2.5 yo and 6 month old.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Last Aug was our 10th wedding aniversary. Since we already had annual passes hubby suggested WDW for our trip. We had been 6 times as a couple before DD was born, and couldn't imagine leaving her at home, so she went with us. I know that every other 2 year old little girl that I saw (and there would be many) would just break my heart (plus we had never left her alone, the difference with 1st children to 2nd or 3rd I think).

We did get one alone night since BIL and SIL came down for half our trip and stayed with us at OKW. We rented a room at AKL for one night at the AP rate and had a good evening out.


I tend to think that while WDW is a great place for just adults to go, I wouldn't go with out my kids once I have them. (I just know how much they would love it and feel guillty, plus there are kids everywhere.) If I was going to them them at home, I would want to go somewhere with out many kids.

However you are talking about brining one and leaving one at home. It might be a real nice trip for your 1st child whose life has really changed since becoming a big brother. Sometimes it's real nice to do something special for just one kid, then do something speical for the 2nd kid later. Would the kids miss each other? Would you miss her too much? My 2 year old would of been aware of what she missed and the older kid would talk about it, making her fell left out. (maybe if it was a less then 1 year old.)

If you decide to take her, WDW is fine for a 2 year old. If you leave her home, be sure to take her later! (but I think my 2 year old DD sounded more like your 5 year old son!) Oh also, Kids under 3 are free (at all you can eat places too!) I know my 2 year old got enough out of the trip to justify taking her, but you know your child best. She will have a great time, but it will be more work. (read the current thead "I had one of those conversations")

Have a great trip. Consider a kids club for a night out and go to Califorina Grill, it was great!

 

[kfeuer]

I see both sides of this. We had our 10th anniversary last September at DW and we brought our 2.5 and 5 month old. My in-laws also came (although they aren't physically capable of helping with the kids much, we had a wonderful time with them. We'll be eternally thankful we invited them because my FIL passed away a few weeks ago ) Anyway, we had a wonderful time and still managed to work in some relaxation. We spent the mornings in the park and rested in the resort in the afternoon (we stayed at WL). DH and I traded off child care so we both got some relaxation time.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. If you have a good place to leave your daughter, I'm sure she'll be fine. If you bring her, you'll still have a good time. Have fun!

 

[Hieatt]

We have 4 kids (ages 5, 4, 2, 8 mos.) and we took all four (plus grandparents) over New Years. Things went well, but our 2 year old had a few meltdowns and the baby was a baby. We are taking our 5 and 4 year olds down for 3 or 4 nights for the 5 year olds sixth birthday in a few weeks and leaving the younger ones at home. I am looking forward to moving through the parks and riding everything without having to worry about diapers, bottles and age/height restrictions (with a few exceptions). No baby swap! I figure the younger ones will have no idea they've missed anything and the older ones will have a much more special time with fewer delays. Plus - we wouldn't even consider such a spontaneous, short trip with all of the kids.

 

[MNRMommy]

You have all been wonderful with great advice. We do have a great place to leave her while gone (Grandma's spoiled palace where she has her own room and toys - can you say SPOILED). I liked the remark made by one that doing something special for the older child since he has had to make way since the DD came along and that doing something special for one now and the other later. Can't say I am 100% decided but it is good to give DH what he wants once in a while. After all he fell in love with Disney for me (ok maybe it was the magic).

 

[dougsmom98]

I can't imagine not taking one of my kids. We went last year with our 2 year old twins and a 4 year old. Our twins are super active and super curious. When they were that age, we had to use crib tents on their beds so they wouldn't jump over the banister and down a flight of stairs in the middle of the night. They were the type to climb on top of entertainment centers or parked cars if they got out of our site. They were the epitome of double trouble. Disney was great for them because there was so much to see and do. They didn't have to get into mischief to find something that they were interested in. The only time it seemed like work to us was when we had to hold them when they got antsy or tired in line, but we had two children that young so we couldn't switch off and take turns holding them. It would have killed me to see other kids the same age as them if I had left them home. Your youngest child will get a lot out of the trip and having her there will be a blessing. I can't tell you how many times I had tears in my eyes just to see the pure joy on our two year olds' faces at Disney. I would try reading some trip reports from other people who have young children and let that help you make your decision. Our trip report from our trip was posted back when we went. You can do a search using my user name and find them.
No matter what your decision end up being, enjoy the trip. Happy Anniversary!
-Amy

 

[Schmeck]

Just don't take any photos while you're there - think of her asking why she isn't in any of the photos, and you get to tell her you didn't want to bring her because she was just such a brat at that age, and you didn't want to bother with her... Of course, her brother was just so better behaved, so you brought him...

Of course, you'll say "but she won't remember it" so she doesn't deserve to have any fun...

 

[chrisann]

We are going for our ds's 5th bday in Oct. Our yoounger ds will be 1 1/2yrs. He's been a handful since day 1 and has just gotten busier!! My older son on the other hand is the exact opposite. My hubby insists we're not bringing my younger ds because he feels it would be very stressful for us. The logical part of me says he's right, but my heart says no way! It would be just so weird to be have all those pictures of such a magical place, and have our younger son in none of them. Even though we are planning on going for his 5th bday as well, part of me would just not be enjoying the trip completely. So if it's up to me, he will almost certanly be coming. The good thing is, because of his age, there's not much in the way of planning we need to do ahead of time (airfare, passes, etc). The good news is that he is finally sleeping through the night(that's one obstacle down!!LOL), I keep telling myself that he'll be much better at a year and a half as he will be expressing himself more. It really is up to you and your hubby. I don't think anyone should make you feel bad if you decide to leave her at home though! One way or the other do something you won't regreat once you're there!

 

[mom23boys]

I had to put my two cents in on this one. Schmeck, I really feel your comments were not kind. This mother is torn and it is a hard decision. To make her feel that she is a bad parent or that she treats one child better is not called for.

We have taken our children, ages now 10, 5 and 2 on four trips since the oldest was 7, the the baby has gone twice at 8 mos and 18 mos. It is hard to bring toddlers and babies to WDW. That being said I would love to come to WDW with DH alone and know one day we will. But if I had reliable babysitter, why not enjoy the moment with the older DS.

Our last trip OCT 2003, we have very few pictures of our baby 18 mos then because he was either asleep or my mother was walking him around. To the OP, please disregard Schmeck statements and go with your DH and DS knowing that your daughter will be taken care of.

 

[Hieatt]

Ditto mom23boys' comments. And take lots of pictures - if you are worried about Schmeck, invest in some photo editing software and paste her into a few photos

Odds are you will never get a question from your daughter, and if you did, a simple response... "That's when you were too little to go with us" or "your brother didn't go to WDW when he was 2 either", and it will be over.

The last thing a parent needs is another guilt trip.

You can't go wrong either way. If I was trying to make the decision, given that a safe, happy place to stay isn't an issue, the two primary factors I would consider:

1. Length of trip - Obviously a shorter trip makes it less of a big deal.

2. How often you will visit WDW - If it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip, take the 2 year old. If you will be back next year, no problem to leave her at home.

At the end of the day, your 2 year old will not know the difference and will never care or feel slighted, so don't even factor that into your decision. It's all about how much/long you can stand to be away from him. With us, our upcoming 4 day trip without our boys (2 and 8 mos.) is pushing my wife's limits!!

 

[Madi100]

I'll tell you about our three different trips. We took one in 1999 when DD was almost 2. We left her at home with my parents. She didn't even know we were gone. On on second trip, we took our older DD and left our younger DD at home. She was about one at the time. She probably missed us because we were gone for a week, but she didn't feel like we'd left her behind while we went to Disney. She had no clue that is where we went.

We just went to WDW in January. We took DD6, DD2 (almost 3), my parents, and my husband and myself. First of all, I'm glad we took my parents for the babyswap and for the time alone that it allowed us to have. My 2 year old loved it. She loved all of the characters. She loved the parades. She loved the rides that she could ride on. However, there was still a lot she could not do. In Magic Kingdom where you think that is for kids she couldn't do Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, or Splash Mountain. It took a lot of time for us to wait for the other couple to ride on a ride. My six year old loved it because she got to ride on things twice in a row. At the end of the trip, I admitted that DD2 was too young to go.

Now, it's your 10 year anniversary. I would not hesitate to go to WDW without my kids. I would love to do it now that my kids are old enough to go just because the pace is soooo much different when it is just two adults. It was fun, romantic, and a great bonding time. Our 10 year anniversary is in June, and I'd love to go back without the kids.

 

[diggdug]

We are going to DL in August, taking DS8 and DD2. We were there last summer as a family ( first vacation we'd taken with a baby) and there were some difficult moments. My DW and I could not ride some of the rides together since one of us had to watch DD. But, you deal with it and have fun all the same.

This summer will be interesting now that DD is 2. She is very active and alert. She's a real charmer and a very happy little tyke. Sure she has moments that fill us with frustration, but that is what comes with parenthood. This trip will come right on the heels of a week in Yosemite ( after taking a weeks break at home) so the kids are going to be seeing and doing a lot.

I can't imagine leaving any of my kids at home, but that's just me and I am not going to judge anyone else for it. Everyone has a different situation. The important thing is that your DD will be safe and having fun in Grandmas Palace!! One way to look at it is she will be getting all that Grandma attention to herself. And that's a special kind of thing.

I know my DD loves it when she gets to spend some time at my parents' house. She gets spoiled, eats lotsa snacks that we don't have at our house, gets to go on walks with Grandma, and follows Grandpa everywhere he goes in the backyard. I think it's also good for the grandparents to spend some quality time with the little ones too.

 

[MNRMommy]

To all of you (of course excluding schmeck who apparently has never had a hard decision in his/her life or simply has no children) I want to thank for the stories and advice. I did some deep thought and have come to a compromise with the DH. We are going to spend a long weekend in New Orleans (our second fave place) on the anniversary and take the kids later in the year when DD will be just about 3. This decision has more to do with wanting to be alone with DH on the anniversary then on any of the opions of the schmecks of the world. Basically I just want to see both of their faces together the first time they see Main Street and the lobby of the WL (coincidentally where DH and I had our honeymoon).

Again thanks to all (especially you chrisann for backing up another mom).

 

[Schmeck]

I have two children, took them both to WDW for the first time when they when they were DD5 and DD2. We had a wonderful time, even though my DD2 was 2 years old.

I think my comment about the child asking questions as to why she wasn't included were legitimate - the OP stated that "DD is 2 and good at it" - a slightly negative outlook of her child. Then she goes on to state that the older child is a "quiet, fun loving little boy" - so he gets to go, right? The other one won't behave well, so she doesn't get to go.

I just asked my DD10 how she would have felt if she found out now that we had taken a trip to WDW without her when she was 2. She said that she'd feel very sad, and upset that we didn't include her. And she thinks it's really sad that you'd go without your own daughter too!

Glad to hear that you've changed your plans - my DD10 was quite happy to know that you'll be going as a complete family in the future.

Have I had to make difficult decisions in my life? Here's a really personal one - At one point in my pregnancy with DD10, I almost had to choose between my own life and hers. Luckily, before I had to make my final decision, the horrible situation straightened itself out, and I was lucky to survive, and so was my daughter. It took many months of complete bedrest, and a lot of luck, but we both made it.