Tips/advice for bringing Grandma along?

[Dallas_Lady]

My MIL will most likely be joining us on our next trip. We get along well and she very helpful and respectful of DH and I, so I am not worried about that. But for those of you who have gone with a grandparent, any advice to make the trip as fun for everyone as possible. Our kids will be 2 and 4 years old.

 

[Nicky's_Mommy]

Great question! Me, DH and DS2 will also be going to WDW 5/9-5/16 w/ my mom. We've been there before, but this is our sons first time and our FIRST trip ever with my Mom ! lol I'm really hoping it works out...for both of us.

 

[daisyduck123]

My best advice: just make sure grandma has her own bed & room to sleep in.

We've been with both sets of grandparents several times, & it's always worked well in part because we don't share sleeping quarters with them. (One time, we all even stayed at different resorts). The last time we went we stayed in a 2BR lockoff, with my parents in the studio portion.

 

[mommytoone]

My best advice: just make sure grandma has her own bed & room to sleep in.

We've been with both sets of grandparents several times, & it's always worked well in part because we don't share sleeping quarters with them. (One time, we all even stayed at different resorts). The last time we went we stayed in a 2BR lockoff, with my parents in the studio portion.

I totally agree!! I went with my MIL and we got along really well before we went, and now we hardly speak, not kidding!! I think you need to have some activities that are for all and some just for you and your family. We did try and that helped. The seperate rooms are also a must. We did joining rooms not a great idea. I had no privacy and I felt like she didn't either.

Have fun, I wish I was going.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Has Grandma been to Disney before? She may have her own ideas of what she'd like to do. Don't assume she wants to spend every minute with you guys--she might, or might not. When we've gone with various fmaily members, we've found it easier to plan breakfast and dinner together, and plan on being in the same park, but not necessarily joined at the hip.

I would also establish upfront if you expect her to do any babysitting. She may be willing, and that would be great, but she may also be exhausted and not want to. I would just make sure you discuss ahead of time if you'd like her to watch the kids one night while you have an adult dinner or something.

Everyone's different, but we found that MIL loved World Showcase and the backstage tours. Also, last trip, she tired much more easily than past years, and went back to the hotel before us several times. It was all good, but different from other trips, KWIM? MIL is also getting up there (78 this year), not that she'd admit to slowing down at all!

 

[DISNEYNV]

We go to Disney with my parents on numerous occassions and it can be really fun. But make sure that everyone is included in the decision making, such as where to stay and what rides to do or parks to visit on which days, etc. If your mom is going to take the kids for a while or when you go out to dinner with DH have a definate plan. Make sure you schedule in some free time for yourselves and grandma. I would get adjoining rooms or we rented a two bedroom villa at Old Key West and it was wonderful. We all had our own space yet we were still together. It was really nice having a full kitchen as well with little ones it can be done where everyone has a great time!

 

[crisi]

How old is grandma? How active is grandma? Is grandma a morning person or an evening person? Is she excited to spend every minute with the grandkids and PLEASE take an evening or so and let me take the kids, or is she humoring you with a trip and would like to spend a few afternoons without seeing children shopping her way through World Showcase?

We took my mother in law several years ago, along with her older sister. They were slow and tired easily. While they LOVED seeing the kids at Disney, they also enjoyed puttering through World Showcase, taking things slower than kids do. She likes to sleep in - getting to the park at opening was not something to be expected every day. Neither of them swim - so they didn't enjoy pool time. It was a lovely trip, but we spent a lot of time apart - and met up with them later - which was why we brought her sister along. We'd then meet up for dinner - us with stories about a busy busy day full of attractions, they'd spent an hour on a bench watching the street performers.

We took my mother this year - my kids are older now, but my nephews and sister were there and my nephews are 2 and 4. My mother is ten years younger and more active. Her live REVOLVES around her grandkids - and expecting her to spend an afternoon away from them would have been denying her the biggest pleasure of her trip. The only way we got her away from my sister's family was to coax her along with ours. She is a naturally early riser - and if we didn't intend to get to the parks early ourselves, would have been hustling us all out of bed in the morning to get us there.

The best advice I can give is (other than the seperate room thing - that is really good advice if you can afford it) to be aware of her style and her needs and set both your family and her expectations and schedule accordingly. If she needs to move slower, move slower. If she is going to want to ride Everest (my mother, God Bless her, decided it was likely to be the last roller coaster she'd ever ride - and at 65 years old, rode Everest) try and work it in. If she needs regular meals and sit down food, work that in. If she'll look at anything other than peanut butter sandwiches made in the hotel room as an extravangence, keep that in mind, too.

 

[roscoepc1]

My mother is going with us, simply b/c she doesn't feel comfortable travelling by herself anymore, and NONE of us have ever been to Disney...

Our plan (and her idea in the first place) is to just travel together, then do our own thing at Disney. We'll be there during the Epcot Flower festival, so there's a ton for her to do within her own personal interests, kwim?

She originally was just going to meet up with us a couple of times for dinner, but I didn't want her to miss the girls meeting characters etc...plus I think SHE'LL get better character meets with the girls along....so now she will be meeting us each for dinner.

Mom also offered, ON HER OWN, to watch the girls ONE night for us after dinner, so dh and I could go and do something adult-ish..whether it be a ride the girls wouldn't like, or the fireworks, or whatever. I didn't ask, nor will I ask for any more. If she volunteers, fine.

 

[connie1042]

I am the grandma. I am the Disney freak. I went 2 years ago with my son and family. Kids were 2 and 4. Stayed at CR. Put the 2 year old on the sofa sleeper and I had the 4 year old with me. By morning I was a lone and the other 4 were in the same bed. I slept great. We were only there for a few days. They only wanted to do MK that trip. I did all 4 parks at one time or another. I watched the kids while they had an adult dinner at CG. They are actually sorta afraid to go by themselves. The waits were nonexistent. I made all the ADR's Had gift baskets sent from home. It was great. I had such a great time. Last year my husband and I went with my daughter and family 2 1/2 yr. old and 5 month old. We gave them a whole day to themselves. The baby was great. I took the older one to the Halloween party one night. They also don't really want to go with out grandma. I love making the memories, and spending time with my grand kids. I think it worked out great for all of us. I did go on my own a couple of times during both trips. I needed the me time.

 

[Broadway Duchess]

Connie1042, you are an awesome grandma! My mother is the same way, though we're all Disney nuts around these parts! I'm going to go her because she always makes sure to have Grandma/Grandpa/Grandson time so DBF and I can have a quiet dinner together.

I think part of why it works for us is that my folks are very active and into their own thing. We spend a good portion of each day together, but everyone has time apart to recharge. We stay near each other but maintain separate spaces -- though it's not uncommon for DS to hop down the hall to raid the fridge (I mean "visit") w/G-ma & G-pa, because they've got all of the good treats.

We usually do the beginning of the day together (sometimes this includes breakfast, but normally we just meet at the boats on the BoardWalk). We take our afternoon break, then meet up for dinner and/or theme park nighttime shows. Good Luck!

 

[Dee77]

Connie1042- I agree you are awesome!!

Dallas Lady- I would recommend that you ask her if there is anything that she has heard of or read about that sounds interesting to her, give her some room to make some of the plans or to help with the planning.

There is a large group of us going in Dec, mostly my DH's family who have been several times and my parents have never been. My SIL, MIL and I are taking the lead to make all the plans and build in time for us each to go off on our own. My parents really don't have a preference for making plans as long as Dad knows we will be going to good restaurants every day for one good sit down meal.

Have a magical trip!!

 

[puffkin]

My mom goes with us on almost every trip (dad prefers to do hunting trips so mom tags along with us). It works for us because:

1. Mom pays her own way. We split every bill related to the trip and she covers her own costs. No resentment that way.
2. My mom is pretty easy going and just goes with the flow. We make most of the decisions and then she just goes along with what we decide. She is very comfortable at Disney now that if she wants to go off on her own, she does, but that is very rare.
3. She is pretty young and can keep up. No mobility issues.
4. Mom loves rides and shows and will go on everything except Mission Space (she got claustrophobic on there and won't do it again).
5. My mom ADORES DS3 and she is used to spending a lot of time with him. We all split the child duties so no one person is burdened the entire trip (ie baby swap, taking to the bathroom, staying in the room during nap, etc).
6. Biggest thing is we own DVC and get a 1 bedroom villa. She always has her own sleeping area. We do stay a night or two in a regular room (to save weekend DVC points) which we share, but that is only a short time so not too bad. If we stayed in a regular hotel for the whole week, we would definitely get two rooms.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

Thanks for all the suggestions. Here is a little more info:

-FIL recently passed away, they were married 42 years. They went camping a lot, but that was pretty much it. She's never really "vacationed" like this. And she is not one to do something like this on her own. I couldn't imagine her hanging out at DTD or WS by herself.

-Coming along was her idea. We were watching the Christmas parade while opening gifts and she said, "I'd love to go to WDW one day." Well, actually she said Disneyland, but then clarified by saying "Or whichever one you guys go to." She then brought it up going with us again a few weeks ago when we mentioned planning our next trip. So, she kind of invited herself, LOL.

-She knows ZERO about Disney. If she sees a picture of the castle, she knows that's a Disney park, but that's about it. She knows we have lots of fun because we talk about it all the time, which is why I think she wants to go. Since FIL's passing, she spends a lot of time with us and our kids.

-We will most likely get a condo so there is plenty of room. I like my MIL and all, but I don't want to be crammed in a hotel room with her for a week.

 

[Colleen27]

My mother travels with us more often than not, and it works out very well for everyone. She doesn't like traveling alone and loves Disney, so doing Disney with the grandkids is her idea of a dream vacation. And since she's not into big rides, we get the freedom to ride the big rides with our older kids instead of one of us sitting out with the youngest.

My advice:
* Be sure you have enough space, keeping in mind that enough space is going to depend on family dynamics. When we're all traveling (DH & I, the kids, and DM) we get two rooms. This time we're trying a cabin, but that only works out because my mom is accustomed to having the big kids for overnight visits and doesn't mind sharing the bedroom with them. We'll take the living room with the baby. When it is just my mom & I with the kids, we're fine in one room.

* Be clear from the start on who is paying for what. Our first Disney trip together was our treat. Our second was my mom's treat for my DD's birthday. This time, we're splitting expenses, but my mom is basically only paying for her ticket, plane fare, and dining plan. Next trip will likely be my treat again, because DH isn't coming and I want her to come so that I'm not traveling alone with all 3 kids so I'll gladly pay her way. So I don't think there's any one right way to work the finances. What matters is that everything is clear from the start so that there's no conflict/resentment.

* Don't be afraid to go your separate ways. My mom often takes an afternoon to herself by the pool or spends some time relaxing with the younger kids while DH, DS & I run-run-run. She also tends to skip evening the EMH that we frequently take advantage of. If we tried to stay together for the entire trip, either Mom would be exhausted by our pace or we'd be frustrated by hers.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Given your clarification, you might want to make sure she watches the DVD to get a feel for what she's in for. If she's interested in learning more, you can share your other plans, travel books, etc. I wouldn't try to force her to get super "into" it, just let her know that there's information to be had, if she's interested.

I would also plan a lowkey day towards the end of the trip. Make a point of asking her if there was something that she didn't get to do or wanted to do more of. I'm thinking mostly of World Showcase--I know my MIL could spend a week just there.

I would also try to really listen to her and read her cues while you're there. If all she's done is camping, she might be really put-off by commando touring (or, as commando as you can get with 2 little ones). It doesn't mean she's having a bad time if she's not with you constantly or if she prefers an evening of quiet.

Also, if she doesn't have her own cell phone, maybe you could lend her one for the duration? She might feel more adventurous on her own if she can reach you. My MIL frequently wandered on her own, but she's been to WDW several times and knows what she likes.

 

[crisi]

Thanks for all the suggestions. Here is a little more info:

-FIL recently passed away, they were married 42 years. They went camping a lot, but that was pretty much it. She's never really "vacationed" like this. And she is not one to do something like this on her own. I couldn't imagine her hanging out at DTD or WS by herself.

-Coming along was her idea. We were watching the Christmas parade while opening gifts and she said, "I'd love to go to WDW one day." Well, actually she said Disneyland, but then clarified by saying "Or whichever one you guys go to." She then brought it up going with us again a few weeks ago when we mentioned planning our next trip. So, she kind of invited herself, LOL.

-She knows ZERO about Disney. If she sees a picture of the castle, she knows that's a Disney park, but that's about it. She knows we have lots of fun because we talk about it all the time, which is why I think she wants to go. Since FIL's passing, she spends a lot of time with us and our kids.

-We will most likely get a condo so there is plenty of room. I like my MIL and all, but I don't want to be crammed in a hotel room with her for a week.

It sounds like she'll be an easy traveling companion.

Find out now if she wants to participate in planning or tag along. She may really WANT to tag along. And if she isn't the type to then complain about the decisions she didn't make (and it sounds like she isn't), don't push it. On the other hand, if you invite her into the planning, you need to follow through on some of her suggestions. We've had some luck with "which restaurants are you interested it" and "pick two things from the guidebook in each park you really want to do."

Then figure out where your style and hers will conflict and work toward compromise. The early/late riser can be one that causes a lot of contention. So does the frugal person traveling with the big spender. In these cases I think that simply being aware that we aren't all the same goes a long way to creating the compromise - when you have two people, one saying "I don't get why she won't get up early, she misses all the best park time" and the other saying "she is like a slave driver, I don't go on vacation to get up at 6am" - THAT'S when you start to think your in-laws would be better off at the bottom of Bay Lake.

I'd recommend - since your kids are young - spending some evenings while they veg in the stroller enjoying World Showcase - which is often very popular with grown ups. The kids - after a long day of kid stuff - will happily sit in a stroller while the grownups browse shops, watch shows and soak in atmosphere.