Thread for parents who have lost babies..preborn or shortly after--just to chat

[bigbabyblues]

LOTS of HUGS to all the parents of angels posting here.

I lost a baby to miscarriage, not the same as ever holding it, but still a loss just the same. The date was April 8, 1998, and I will never forget it. Every year I remember on that date. It has gotten easier as the years pass, this year I did better than I have before. I have his first u/s picture in my nightstand, and I take it out sometimes and look at it. I don't know that it was a boy, I didn't make it that far, but in my heart I feel it is, and so it is. I gave him a name, Preston Kyle, the name I would have wanted him to have if he would have been a boy, and in my heart, that's who he is.

Two years later I got pregnant again, and my due date was only 6 days after my due date with my first pregnancy. I cried and dreaded April 8 so bad, so sure I would lose my child again. I didn't, but sometimes look at my ds and I think of how Preston would have been two years older. He would have started kindergarten this year. But now he just lives in my heart, and in heaven, watching over us.

Hugs to all,

Steph

 

[WDWFOREVER]

I can't believe how many of us there are ....

Being a responsible kind of person, I waited until I was financially stable until we decided to start a family. I fell pregnant very quickly but miscarried at 8 weeks. Family, friends and Doctors all told me how common it was to lose the first baby and that everything would be ok next time. It wasn't. I miscarried at 7 weeks. Three months later I was pregnant again - but miscarried at 8 weeks. By this stage, my Doctor started to take me seriously and when I became pregnant again, put me on progesterone suppositories. This really looked like it was working until, at 8 weeks, I began to suffer a lot of pain. Doctor diagnosed a urine infection and sent me home with antibiotics for the weekend. By Monday, I could barely stand up straight. I was rushed into hospital that afternoon and made it to the operating table with only minutes to spare - my pregnancy was ectopic and had started to rupture. I lost my left fallopian tube along with a longed-for little boy.

It was at that point that DH and I visited WDW for the first time in an effort to "get away from it all". It helped me tremendously. It took 8 months to conceive again, and this time I miscarried at 9 weeks. Another miscarriage followed a few months later. After the ectopic pregnancy I had been referred to a Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic in London and investigations were underway to see why this was happening. I discovered I was pregnant again on Valentines Day (14 February). My next appointment at the Clinic was the 17 February. There was a heartbeat and the baby was the right size. The wonderful thing was, they videoed the ultrasound scan as for some parents, that is the only record they will ever have of their child. I still treasure my video and watch it every now and again. However, two days later I started to bleed very heavily and was convinced it was a case of "here we go again" .... however, 3 days later the bleeding stopped and when they scanned me there was a heartbeat! This baby had decided that it was going to hold on for dear life .... and on 18th October 1993 my son was born. I cannot begin to describe my feelings on that day. Exhaustion, elation, disbelief, wonderment - all at the same time. He was here, at last.

My husband got through all of this by convincing himself that it was the same little soul everytime, just looking for the perfect body (and he found it!). We must not forget the Dads - they have lost a child too.

I thank all of you for sharing your stories. It is important that our babies are remembered. And to the OP, thank you so much for giving all of us a chance to share our children with each other.

I promise to read every single post and give our children the recognition they deserve.

To those parents who have not yet had a chance to hold their child, keep strong.

Jackie

 

[mickeyboat]

Jackie -

I have goosebumps after reading your post. I am so sorry you have gone through so much heartache in your quest to become a parent. No one should have to suffer so much. I absolutely love the way your DH looks at your losses. That's beautiful. Congratulations on your beautiful son.

Denae

 

[WDWFOREVER]

Originally posted by mickeyboat
Jackie -

I have goosebumps after reading your post. I am so sorry you have gone through so much heartache in your quest to become a parent. No one should have to suffer so much. I absolutely love the way your DH looks at your losses. That's beautiful. Congratulations on your beautiful son.

Denae

Denae - that is really nice of you to say and I accept your congratulations because he is truly beautiful, inside and out. We haven't made it to teenage years yet though ....!

However, I really am one of the lucky ones. I succeeded where so many others are still trying to succeed. I know when I lost my 6th baby there was a woman in the waiting room and we sat and chatted and she had just miscarried for the 13th time. That doesn't bear thinking about. And yet still she found the strength to say "oh well, hopefully it will be successful next time". It is amazing how much tenacity some people have.

Jackie