This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[pyrxtc]

You and me, both, sister.


PrincessKmom is kind of who I'm speaking about "twisting and turning" a story to suit them. Why are you and a few others so hellbent on making sure that you get to be so sanctimonious that you're calling bullsh*t on my punishment? Are you a joke? This is all so unbelievable to me.

I don't need any of you to tell me whether I'm a good mom or not. I'm not perfect, but none of you are perfect, either. NONE OF YOU. If you claim to be, then you're lying to yourself. However, I do think I'm a pretty good mom, and contrary to popular belief, I have a great relationship with my kid's teacher, and always have from 2year old preschool to now. Her kindy teachers from last year, who know that she has issues with authority, still run up and hug me every time they see me at the school. They also really love her, b/c when she's good... she's really good. She isn't whiney and doesn't complain constantly. She does very well in school, was reading 2nd and 3rd grade books at the beginning of kindergarten, was the first one in kindergarten to go on the Wall of Fame for being an Accelerated Reader. She's very sweet and has a great sense of humor.

Her biggest issue is that she doesn't like being told to do something she doesn't want to do.

If that is the only issue I have (and I'm obviously shelling out big bucks trying to nip it in the bud) the whatever. There are worse things than having a strong-willed child.

There's a kid in her class that whines about every little thing. I can't even stand to be in the class with him because everything is a tragedy. I'll take unruly to constant whine any day.


So, tell me about your kids.

I think that is pretty much everybody's issue. Nobody likes being told what to do but we all have to learn it and we start when we are little. and learn it well then so when we are older we know what is expected of us.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Commenting and raising hell are two different things. Can you not, at least, agree on that, or do you just like to be contrary?

But I'm missing the point -- how did this woman raise hell?

FWIW, my daughter was somewhat similar to your daughter. My daughter is just like her mom: she's got a big mouth, and even bigger opinions, and isn't afraid to share them with everyone. This is why I'm telling you, you need to nip this in the bud. Within the first week of PreK3, I got 3 calls from the teacher because Miss Know It All wasn't listening and was doing her own thing and mouthing back to the teacher. Guess who got in trouble? I certainly didn't complain that someone else shouldn't be correcting my child. And I don't know what you think your child being smart has to do with anything. My child is also smart, but she can also be a smart aleck. I make it a point of making my child apologize immediately when she misbehaves and someone calls her on it. Or if she hurts someone's feelings, or if she was rude and mean. Immediately. If you can misbehave and be nasty and rude, you can be a little embarassed by having to apologize.

Just because you're willing to put up with a smart aleck, why does that give you the right to bash the "whiney" kid? Maybe his parents don't think too highly of your child either?

Let me share my motto with you, which we've always told my daughter: Inside these 4 walls the sun rises and sets on you. Outside these 4 walls, you're just another kid.

 

[luvmy3]

Sorry, did you forget who it's all about?

I did forget, what was I thinking

So if you're not paying attention and your child is about to knock over a display, would you like me to mind my own business?

If your child is running in the street, would you like me to mind my own business?

If your child is about to fall into a swimming pool, would you like me to mind my own business?

If I find out your child is being bullied, would you like me to mind my own business?

Your daughter is now a teenager, and she's about to knock you on your butt, would you like me to mind my own business?


None of these would technically be my business, but I would hope someone would step in and do the right thing. Unfortunately, you can't pick and chose when someone steps in and realistically, if you had a problem with the older woman, you should have said something to her. If you think you're right, why didn't you stand up for your child?

These scenarios are not the same as what happened in the OP and you know it. I don't equate stepping over a parent who IS disciplining their child the same as stepping in to save a life. If twisting what happened in the OP to fit these situations is what you need to do to make your argument, then its a feeble attempt and won't get you anywhere


Now, I don't want to YAGE but my vacuum is calling. I'm sure when I return this thread will still be going. Glitterktty I'm counting on you

 

[Jacoby 46]

I have this aching desire to go to Ikea now!!


I honestly have never been to one, but they just built a brand new one in Charlotte that I might have to visit today!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Would you put your meanly raised voice on and scold a 6 year old in front of her mom? PLEASE tell me you would.

Yes. If you're in public, you need to deal with the public. And again, if your daughter wasn't doing anything wrong, why were you correcting her? And why didn't you run interference between her and the old woman? Do you arbitrarily let people "raise hell" with your child when your child isn't doing anything wrong?

 

[clovergirl5]

I'll mind my own business when your (not you, the general you) child's behavior stops interfering with my day. My kids won't bother you so I'd appreciate the same from yours.

Can I have your child programming software you plug into their head that keeps your kids from bothering anyone? I'll give ya some popcorn?
How can you foretell the future that your kids won't bother anyone? Are you really a fortune teller? LOL
Imo, people should keep their opinions to themselves in public.

Im for op...you go girl...Im with you on the attitude of your 6 year old. I got one of my own. Trying to nip in the bud. Trying is the main word her. There is only so much one can do. If I could whip her butt in a public place to get my point across, I would. But what are you supposed to do, spank them in front of secret security people or security cameras? I always give my kids the evil eye when acting up and they know whooparse is opening when we get home. I have even spanked behind the clothesrack. Or they don't get to go out for lunch...they get a peanybutter sandwich instead of pizza lmao: they hate that one!)

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I did forget, what was I thinking




These scenarios are not the same as what happened in the OP and you know it. I don't equate stepping over a parent who IS disciplining their child the same as stepping in to save a life. If twisting what happened in the OP to fit these situations is what you need to do to make your argument, then its a feeble attempt and won't get you anywhere


Now, I don't want to YAGE but my vacuum is calling. I'm sure when I return this thread will still be going. Glitterktty I'm counting on you

Your absolutely right, these scenarios are not the same. However, you either want everyone to mind their own business, or step in when they see fit.

 

[clovergirl5]

She said she told her twice AND she took away the wrap. She also reprimanded her in the car and took away priveledges because of her behavior, what esle did you want her to do, a public lynching?

 

[clovergirl5]

I did punish her. She wasn't allowed to do anything when we got home. No TV, no toys, no computer. The only thing she was allowed to do was have plain paper and colors. That was it. Then she went to bed an hour and half earlier than on a school day, when she was so excited about not going to bed at 8, but at 9 b/c she is out of school for the week. She was in bed at 6:30.

Was I supposed to reach back and beat her all the way up I-75?

Should I have snatched the roll of paper and start whacking her with it so that all the other parents and the old codger would applaud my behavior?
I didn't laugh.. . NOT ONCE.. while we were in the store. I was mad as hell. I didn't have to be mad as hell, though. I did have to be mad as hell for her being rude to the old lady after the lady escalated it to that point. Before that, I was just irritated that she wasn't listening.

I have never in my life seen a bunch of women twist and turn a story to suit them so much in my life. I'd say y'all are bored, but obviously I'm here too, and well... Go Team Codger.

 

[mskayjay]

"I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves"

I stayed out and ate my popcorn on the sidelines till now. This type of attitude is what is just making shopping, going to WDW, going to the theatre, etc. so unenjoyable these days. When you comport yourself and those around you do the same so you don't infringe on my right to an enjoyable, peaceful experience, people will stop butting in because there will not be anything to be upset about! A child juggling gift wrap, kids screaming, merchandise being manhandled, people pushing each other, adults who think yelling back and forth is okay, women with their "girls" hanging out or boys with their unders showing, and on and on.....it does affect us all and by being obnoxious with your behavior or not addressing the behavior completely of those you are responsible for (your kids!).....well you've just given me permission to gawk and/or comment. Your attitude is so short-sighted that it is laughable. You're like a smoker who thinks they have the right to have a cigarette wherever they want, regardless of the fact that their smoke is drifting over to others in the area who might not want to have that smoke in their air. Not one of us is the only person "in the moment" in any situation and we have lost sight of common civility and manners both in private and public. Yes, this statement is absolutely a sweeping general statement on our society as a whole.

As far as the OP and the original question.....a good rule of thumb to live by is that when one person tells you something, you can kind of shrug it off as inconsequential. When 2, 3, or 4 say it, you have to start wondering if there isn't some validity to what is being said. When a true majority says something is so, that should tell you something. We can all always find a single person or two to back us on even the wildest things, but usually the majority is in the right. Your original query was whether the older woman's response was appropriate and whether you had a right to be upset. I think you got the answer and it wasn't what you wanted to hear and now you feel compelled to refute every answer given. There is a difference between defending and being defensive. You are jumping at people for not having reading comprehension abilities. May I suggest that you go back and reread all of the comments here without that defensive attitude and really *hear* (comprehend!) what other Moms are trying to tell you.

 

[ogreenlee]

But I'm missing the point -- how did this woman raise hell?

FWIW, my daughter was somewhat similar to your daughter. My daughter is just like her mom: she's got a big mouth, and even bigger opinions, and isn't afraid to share them with everyone. This is why I'm telling you, you need to nip this in the bud. Within the first week of PreK3, I got 3 calls from the teacher because Miss Know It All wasn't listening and was doing her own thing and mouthing back to the teacher. Guess who got in trouble? I certainly didn't complain that someone else shouldn't be correcting my child. And I don't know what you think your child being smart has to do with anything. My child is also smart, but she can also be a smart aleck. I make it a point of making my child apologize immediately when she misbehaves and someone calls her on it. Or if she hurts someone's feelings, or if she was rude and mean. Immediately. If you can misbehave and be nasty and rude, you can be a little embarassed by having to apologize.

Just because you're willing to put up with a smart aleck, why does that give you the right to bash the "whiney" kid? Maybe his parents don't think too highly of your child either?

Let me share my motto with you, which we've always told my daughter: Inside these 4 walls the sun rises and sets on you. Outside these 4 walls, you're just another kid.

I'm making a point of bringing up another kid's behavior to say that there are all types. I'm not going to yell at whiney, even though his mother isn't there.

I did tell my kid to apologize to the old lady, but she didn't. I think the old lady got mad b/c I didn't beat her... which is why she told me that I should get a switch.

I have my child in therapy to see if I can get a hold over her defiant ways. I've said this about a thousand times now.

I don't let my kid steamroll me, no matter what anyone here thinks. I just think it's stupid to constantly berate a child over a personality issue.

 

[Darsa]

I really, honestly, can't get past the fact that this kid talked back to an elderly person like that. It really blows my mind. And that it was done right in front of her mother ALSO freaks me out. Whether or not it was appropriate for that lady to speak to the child like that, it is GALAXIES away more inappropriate for that child to speak to her elders in such a manner. IMHO of course.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Can I have your child programming software you plug into their head that keeps your kids from bothering anyone? I'll give ya some popcorn?
How can you foretell the future that your kids won't bother anyone? Are you really a fortune teller? LOL
Imo, people should keep their opinions to themselves in public.

No programming necessary. It's called parenting. If they start to bother someone, I handle it swiftly. And if I don't do a good enough job and someone lets me know that my kids are still bugging them, it's my fault and I will handle it quickly. I love my kids, but I realize that strangers aren't obligated to like them or tolerate their misbehavior.

 

[glitterkittyy]

"I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves"

I stayed out and ate my popcorn on the sidelines till now. This type of attitude is what is just making shopping, going to WDW, going to the theatre, etc. so unenjoyable these days. When you comport yourself and those around you do the same so you don't infringe on my right to an enjoyable, peaceful experience, people will stop butting in because there will not be anything to be upset about! A child juggling gift wrap, kids screaming, merchandise being manhandled, people pushing each other, adults who think yelling back and forth is okay, women with their "girls" hanging out or boys with their unders showing, and on and on.....it does affect us all and by being obnoxious with your behavior or not addressing the behavior completely of those you are responsible for (your kids!).....well you've just given me permission to gawk and/or comment. Your attitude is so short-sighted that it is laughable. You're like a smoker who thinks they have the right to have a cigarette wherever they want, regardless of the fact that their smoke is drifting over to others in the area who might not want to have that smoke in their air. Not one of us is the only person "in the moment" in any situation and we have lost sight of common civility and manners both in private and public. Yes, this statement is absolutely a sweeping general statement on our society as a whole.

As far as the OP and the original question.....a good rule of thumb to live by is that when one person tells you something, you can kind of shrug it off as inconsequential. When 2, 3, or 4 say it, you have to start wondering if there isn't some validity to what is being said. When a true majority says something is so, that should tell you something. We can all always find a single person or two to back us on even the wildest things, but usually the majority is in the right. Your original query was whether the older woman's response was appropriate and whether you had a right to be upset. I think you got the answer and it wasn't what you wanted to hear and now you feel compelled to refute every answer given. There is a difference between defending and being defensive. You are jumping at people for not having reading comprehension abilities. May I suggest that you go back and reread all of the comments here without that defensive attitude and really *hear* (comprehend!) what other Moms are trying to tell you.

You should speak up more often.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I'm making a point of bringing up another kid's behavior to say that there are all types. I'm not going to yell at whiney, even though his mother isn't there.

I did tell my kid to apologize to the old lady, but she didn't. I think the old lady got mad b/c I didn't beat her... which is why she told me that I should get a switch.

I have my child in therapy to see if I can get a hold over her defiant ways. I've said this about a thousand times now.

I don't let my kid steamroll me, no matter what anyone here thinks. I just think it's stupid to constantly berate a child over a personality issue.

No the old woman wasn't angry because you didn't beat your daughter, she was angry because you were okay with being ignored by your child. You told her to stop what she was doing twice and your told her to apologize and she ignored you all three times. If you don't have a problem with that, and you think it's cute and just a personality thing, that's on you but don't expect the rest of the world to laugh it off.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Well, I'm done beating the deaf/dead horse, so I'm moving on.

 

[clovergirl5]

"I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves"

I stayed out and ate my popcorn on the sidelines till now. This type of attitude is what is just making shopping, going to WDW, going to the theatre, etc. so unenjoyable these days. When you comport yourself and those around you do the same so you don't infringe on my right to an enjoyable, peaceful experience, people will stop butting in because there will not be anything to be upset about! A child juggling gift wrap, kids screaming, merchandise being manhandled, people pushing each other, adults who think yelling back and forth is okay, women with their "girls" hanging out or boys with their unders showing, and on and on.....it does affect us all and by being obnoxious with your behavior or not addressing the behavior completely of those you are responsible for (your kids!).....well you've just given me permission to gawk and/or comment. Your attitude is so short-sighted that it is laughable. You're like a smoker who thinks they have the right to have a cigarette wherever they want, regardless of the fact that their smoke is drifting over to others in the area who might not want to have that smoke in their air. Not one of us is the only person "in the moment" in any situation and we have lost sight of common civility and manners both in private and public. Yes, this statement is absolutely a sweeping general statement on our society as a whole.

As far as the OP and the original question.....a good rule of thumb to live by is that when one person tells you something, you can kind of shrug it off as inconsequential. When 2, 3, or 4 say it, you have to start wondering if there isn't some validity to what is being said. When a true majority says something is so, that should tell you something. We can all always find a single person or two to back us on even the wildest things, but usually the majority is in the right. Your original query was whether the older woman's response was appropriate and whether you had a right to be upset. I think you got the answer and it wasn't what you wanted to hear and now you feel compelled to refute every answer given. There is a difference between defending and being defensive. You are jumping at people for not having reading comprehension abilities. May I suggest that you go back and reread all of the comments here without that defensive attitude and really *hear* (comprehend!) what other Moms are trying to tell you.

HAHA I nominate you for snowflake patrol. You could have a cool hat. Horses are arising again!

Im still waiting for my good behavior plug in for my kiddos. Whos sending me theirs?

 

[ogreenlee]

Yes. If you're in public, you need to deal with the public. And again, if your daughter wasn't doing anything wrong, why were you correcting her? And why didn't you run interference between her and the old woman? Do you arbitrarily let people "raise hell" with your child when your child isn't doing anything wrong?

When did I say that she wasn't doing anything wrong? This is becoming even too crazy for me.

I also said that the old lady was probably trying to help, but instead she made the situation worse. Had she not been so mean in her initial hell-raising, then my DD would probably not have been so defensive... something she already has issues with, as I've also stated. I've also said, several times over, that my kid was not being mean, but was just not listening to me as I told her to put down the paper. She was smiling in la-la land, having fun. She didn't want me to stop that. I was irritated, but my child was not being mean. There are differences here... and little nuances that NONE of y'all were there to see.

I'm over this whacked party. I'm tired of repeating myself. I am certain that people will want to believe what they want to believe and I see repeat offenders in those that herald themselves to the pedestal.

I could have easily generalized many of your comments and made judgments on your parenting as well. Oh wait, I did.. have fun beating your kids!

 

[crazee4mickey]

No programming necessary. It's called parenting. If they start to bother someone, I handle it swiftly. And if I don't do a good enough job and someone lets me know that my kids are still bugging them, it's my fault and I will handle it quickly. I love my kids, but I realize that strangers aren't obligated to like them or tolerate their misbehavior.

 

[Scurvy]

Im still waiting for my good behavior plug in for my kiddos. Whos sending me theirs?

Well I'm going to be really angry if it turns out there is one of those and nobody told me - it would have saved me a lot of work! No one I know has well behaved kids unless they were willing to work hard at correcting bad behavior every single time it happened. They made rules and enforced them every time. I'd way rather have had a plug in to do all that for me!