This is Us- Season six

[amylevan]

I’m not really Team Kate or Team Toby, but throughout the show, Kate has generally been the more selfish of the two so with that in mind I generally lead more on Toby’s side. How long was Kate planning on allowing Toby to travel 350 miles weekly? When it was evident that the job was going to stick, why weren’t plans in place to start transitioning to his new work area? Yes, Toby should have told her about the job offer, he was in the wrong there. But Kate is not blameless in the situation either. With only a part-time job, and a young Jack who is only just starting to learn his home, I feel like plans for her to move should have been already in progress.

 

[ronandannette]

I feel like it wasn't the work calls that bothered her so much as missing the old Toby who wasn't plugged into his work 24/7. Some people work to live and others live to work and it's hard to stay married when you disagree on a fundamental point like that. It's a philosophy shift that has broad implications. Sometimes you turn out not to like the next evolution of your spouse.

True, but if the tables were turned and it was the husband lamenting the loss of his fat, insecure, people-pleasing, depressed-to-near-suicide wife, the one who used to rely on him completely for her happiness, and resented her getting healthy and gaining a sense of self worth...well? He’d be vilified as an abusive monster. I absolutely HATED the scenes of Kate and “Old Toby”.

 

[SC Minnie]

I don't remember if when Toby first got the job in SF if it showed a discussion between Kate and Toby about it maybe being temporary until he could land something else. Even if there wasn't a conversation maybe that's what Kate thought. ??? In LA they are in a great school for Jack, close to Hailey's birth mom, close to Rebecca and Madison. I understand how it would be hard to make the decision to move, especially when it hadn't been talked about.

 

[mom2rtk]

It’s always the Pearson’s way or the highway. Kate is the worst about it though.

And that's really it. So much to love about the Pearsons. But it would be very hard to break into that group as a spouse. I love how Beth has handled it, but it takes a very strong person to handle that.

 

[Skywalker3]

I've really liked Toby's character from the start. I hope he won't be portrayed as the bad guy, so far I don't think they're doing that. I think the way they're showing the dynamics of this relationship/marriage is really well done. It's so sad to watch a happy marriage change, end up in divorce, mainly just due to the couple changing over time. But that happens often. The writers are very good at really showing the realities and complexities of people/relationships. People change, marriage changes, the person one is with after a while is not necessarily the same person one married, or just the outlook on life and expectations changes, and it's not always only one person's fault, or just one person doing something egregious to cause the marriage to end. Still very sad to watch it all play out.

 

[PollyannaMom]

How long was Kate planning on allowing Toby to travel 350 miles weekly? When it was evident that the job was going to stick, why weren’t plans in place to start transitioning to his new work area?

I assumed it was always supposed to be temporary until he could find something in LA.

 

[barkley]

a minor point in the story line of the most recent episode but one dh and i had differing opinions on so i would be interested in other folk's-

when toby said 'i got us pre-qualified' (for the house he wanted). b/c he said 'us' i assume that means he used both their incomes/assets/credit information which would entail submitting both his own and kate's confidential information like ssn's and such. would you disclose your spouse's information of this nature without their consent let alone knowledge? would you be o.k. with your spouse doing this?

 

[TLSnell1981]

a minor point in the story line of the most recent episode but one dh and i had differing opinions on so i would be interested in other folk's-

when toby said 'i got us pre-qualified' (for the house he wanted). b/c he said 'us' i assume that means he used both their incomes/assets/credit information which would entail submitting both his own and kate's confidential information like ssn's and such. would you disclose your spouse's information of this nature without their consent let alone knowledge? would you be o.k. with your spouse doing this?

I didn't take it that way at all. It would have been weird if he'd said "I" got prequalified. It would sound like it was his house...not theirs. Just my thoughts.

 

[Princesca]

a minor point in the story line of the most recent episode but one dh and i had differing opinions on so i would be interested in other folk's-

when toby said 'i got us pre-qualified' (for the house he wanted). b/c he said 'us' i assume that means he used both their incomes/assets/credit information which would entail submitting both his own and kate's confidential information like ssn's and such. would you disclose your spouse's information of this nature without their consent let alone knowledge? would you be o.k. with your spouse doing this?

Newwwwwwwwwwwp. I froze my credit though, so she wouldn't have been able to anyway I highly recommend freezing your credit. You can get temporary lifts when you need to get mortgage pre-approval, buy a car, etc. And in between (which is the majority of the time) it helps prevent identity theft.

I am a Toby fan and I think this turn he's taken has been unrealistic and heavy handed. But man if my wife did that, I'd be pissed. My stepmom told me my dad once bought a car without consulting her, and that might have been the end of my marriage if I had been her. I'd give it 80/20 odds in favor of divorce at that point. Minimum.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Newwwwwwwwwwwp. I froze my credit though, so she wouldn't have been able to anyway I highly recommend freezing your credit. You can get temporary lifts when you need to get mortgage pre-approval, buy a car, etc. And in between (which is the majority of the time) it helps prevent identity theft.

I am a Toby fan and I think this turn he's taken has been unrealistic and heavy handed. But man if my wife did that, I'd be pissed. My stepmom told me my dad once bought a car without consulting her, and that might have been the end of my marriage if I had been her. I'd give it 80/20 odds in favor of divorce at that point. Minimum.

Neither of us have bought a house without telling the other but have made other major purchases...no permission necessary. We both know what we can afford.

I agree the turn for Toby is unrealistic. He's usually written as Kate's lap dog.

 

[mickey916]

This reminds me of a former boyfriend that bought "us" a condo as I was graduating college without even asking if I was ready to move in with him (and also had this big elaborate lie about moving out of his parents' house to an apartment as a way to enhance the surprise)....I broke up with him instead...

 

[AustinTink]

a minor point in the story line of the most recent episode but one dh and i had differing opinions on so i would be interested in other folk's-

when toby said 'i got us pre-qualified' (for the house he wanted). b/c he said 'us' i assume that means he used both their incomes/assets/credit information which would entail submitting both his own and kate's confidential information like ssn's and such. would you disclose your spouse's information of this nature without their consent let alone knowledge? would you be o.k. with your spouse doing this?

I doubt her income was even brought up in the pre-qualification. I'm sure Toby makes enough to secure the loan on his salary alone. She's likely not even on the home loan on their LA house since she was unemployed when they bought it.

And, yes, we're talking about these characters like they are real people. Lol.

 

[ronandannette]

I doubt her income was even brought up in the pre-qualification. I'm sure Toby makes enough to secure the loan on his salary alone. She's likely not even on the home loan on their LA house since she was unemployed when they bought it.

And, yes, we're talking about these characters like they are real people. Lol.

Since the beginning, I've always found that hilarious about this thread. People commenting on what they think or wish or hope is happening to the characters outside of their time on-screen. As if they really exist somewhere IRL. And it may actually have already been discussed. I remember somewhere here it was explained that the title of the show "This is Us" was chosen because people everywhere will see themselves in, and identify with the characters. It's what has caused viewers to become so emotionally vested. Honestly, there is not one, single way in which I could possibly see myself in any of them, even though there are a few circumstances I have in common with some of the storylines.

 

[chattadisser]

I see both sides for Toby and Kate but one thing that hasn't been brought up on the show or in our discussions is wouldn't Kate consider LA "home" even more so than PA? I mean she was Kevin's assistant when the show started and at this point has probably been living in LA for 10-15 years. Maybe that plays into her storyline even if its unsaid.

 

[Princesca]

Honestly, there is not one, single way in which I could possibly see myself in any of them, even though there are a few circumstances I have in common with some of the storylines.

I am very Randall-esque.

 

[ronandannette]

I am very Randall-esque.

Sorry - that must be very difficult.

 

[AustinTink]

And it may actually have already been discussed. I remember somewhere here it was explained that the title of the show "This is Us" was chosen because people everywhere will see themselves in, and identify with the characters.

Apparently, I'm married to Toby in real life.

Edited to add: except my "Toby" is much cuter. Makes it easier to live with him.

 

[Princesca]

Sorry - that must be very difficult.

Probably more difficult for my wife than me. I identify SLIGHTLY more with Luisa from Encanto than Randall, but it's a minute difference.

 

[Princesca]

Apparently, I'm married to Toby in real life.

New Toby or old Toby?

I was too, so I slightly identify with what Kate is going through. I married my ex in our early 20s and he was this lovable computer nerd. He was diligent in his career, but he wasn't married to it. At some point, like 'new Toby', he found a job that really changed him on a fundamental level. For me, working is a necessary evil that supports my lifestyle. For him, it was his raison d'etre. When that shifted, our priorities became incompatible.

 

[AustinTink]

New Toby or old Toby?

I was too, so I slightly identify with what Kate is going through. I married my ex in our early 20s and he was this lovable computer nerd. He was diligent in his career, but he wasn't married to it. At some point, like 'new Toby', he found a job that really changed him on a fundamental level. For me, working is a necessary evil that supports my lifestyle. For him, it was his raison d'etre. When that shifted, our priorities became incompatible.

He's a mix of both.

I'm going to be the odd one out here and say I really like new Toby. He's confident and driven, excels in his job, maintains his health and still has a sense of humor. i didn't care for goofy, self-deprecating Toby with the bad wardrobe.