Things That Only Happen In The Movies!!!

[dodukes]

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.

If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

A group of bad guys will always wait their turn to fight the good guy- they never all pounce at once to destroy him

Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

No-one ever stops to pee.

unless its part of the plot and theres a bomb in the bathroom or something! or the guys have to talk about "stuff"

 

[ckay87]

If you are actively driving a car and speaking to your passenger, you can look deeply into your passenger's eyes for minutes at a time without ever hitting something or running off the road.

 

[liamsaunt]

Everyone always watches the aliens hatch and they just stand there. Run people run.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Women wake up with a full face of makeup. Oh, and everyone sleeps in a bra. I have never seen one floppy, droopy girl in allll the movies that I have watched.

And they never wake up with bed-head or crusty eyes or pillowcase creases on their face or drool on their chin...

 

[Pinkpony]

Every movie involving a sports theme has this formula:

Player or coach has to overcome an obstacle
Player or coach overcomes said obstacle (usually after someone dies or is horribly injured)
Player or coach becomes local and/or national hero all magically because they can play/coach said sport well

 

[tlbwriter]

A bullet to the shoulder causes no damage at all.

Women have sex while wearing a teddy ("here, just let me scoot this part out of the way...")

If there's a group of bad guys, they will attack the good guy one at a time.

If you have fertilty problems they will magically disappear without any medical intervention or if you live in some tv worlds they can perform invasive fertilty treatments with no tests because you happen to be ovulating right now!

The soap opera version... infertility is magically cured by sleeping with the wrong person.

 

[threecrazykids]

In horror movies when you're being chased by some psychopath killer- you can run as fast as your legs can carry you through a wooded forest that leads to nowhere (even better, a cliff that drops off into a raging river) and no matter how fast you are, the killer will walk with his chain saw while limping from his injuries and still catch you.

 

[Pikester]

When it's time to do the deed and all those clothes start coming off not one of them has wrinkle marks on their bodies.

Why in a horror movie do the charcaters call out "Who's there?" and then continue to call out over and over again while they walk towards where they heard the noise from? Nice of them to let the killer know where they are so he doesn't have to search for them.

 

[Jennasis]

While driving, you can look at the passenger next to you for 90% of the conversation without crashing your vehicle.

 

[Missy1961]

The good guys can use the vents to get around a building that the bad guys are holding hostages in.

 

[zetachi]

The more monitors hooked up to a computer the more powerful it is.

Every alien ship can be hacked in minutes by a geek with a macbook

Hacking the CIA, DOD or any other government mainframe is possibly using your netbook from Barnes and Noble, while your son,daughter,wife, girlfriend is held hostage.

 

[paintnolish]

If you're being pursued by an axe-wielding murderer, you WILL fall down. The murderer never falls.
Let's just say you THINK the killer is dead- he's not. Don't wait around.
If a cat jumps out and startles you, be prepared. Next up is the killer.

 

[paintnolish]

Horror film cell phone problems: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126391047

 

[Katieinwonderland]

If you have to make a mad dash through the airport to tell someone you love them, you will not have to wait an hour in the security line. Similarly, if you're on a plane waiting to depart, you will take off immediately, not be told you're 50th in line to take off and should be airbourne in three hours - even if you're leaving from JFK.

The bad guy will explain the entire plot of the movie and how everything falls into place before killing the good guy, giving the police plenty of time to burst through the door at the last minute.

Chinese take out with be eaten directly out of the white cartons. No one ever puts it on a plate.

The bad guy can be shot, stabbed, beaten with a giant bat, run over multiple times with a car, fall hundreds of feet off a cliff, be chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to the dog - but he'll be back for the sequel.

 

[stevenpensacola]

If you lived in the Disney Channel World...

Every high school would be run by the kids, who are all very "pert", and are aspiring singers...and you can bet there WILL be a concert somewhere.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

But the you can always check out these Rules for an Evil Overlord.

 

[pearlieq]

--If you ignore a ringing phone, it will click over to an answering machine (because everyone still TOTALLY has those) after one ring so everyone can hear the message.

--All sheets are L-shaped, thereby covering a woman's chest but leaving a man naked to the waist.

--If you are a young, healthy, 20-something married couple you will automatically have trouble conceiving. If you're in your 40's, live on alcohol and Ho-Hos, and you're not even totally sure you did it, you're having triplets.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

This was came to me today while sitting in my Dr.s office.

Any attempt to change the bottle on a water cooler is guaranteed comedy. And by the time the person struggling gets the bottle on the cooler, there is no more water left.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

--If you ignore a ringing phone, it will click over to an answering machine (because everyone still TOTALLY has those) after one ring so everyone can hear the message.

This one REALLY gets me. Who has an answering machine anymore???

 

[Pikester]

I have an answering machine and the phone is only a few years old. I can hear the message being left from all 3 handsets that I have throughout my house.