Things That Only Happen In The Movies!!!

[CaliforniaDreamin]

The fiancee of a long lost love is always an evil witch with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

 

[Mama-san]

All DNA testing and forensic results are available within 24 hours.

Also, 30 sec on a ticking time bomb = 2 min in real life.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

If teenagers have a wild party while mom and dad are away, they are always forewarned that the parents are coming home early, giving them just enough time to clean the entire house....with the exception of one piece of incriminating evidence that is overlooked until mom and dad are in the house and someone is clever enough to stuff it under a couch cushion.

 

[stevenpensacola]

computers always make cool electronicky beepy sounds when searching for fingerprints...

 

[bumbershoot]

All DNA testing and forensic results are available within 24 hours.

24, that's too long! Anyone watched CSI Miami recently? They are solving cases in 24 hours with multiple intricate lab tests and ballistic tests etc. Now...this is *Miami*. Even if these things were possible in a lab with NO other work...a crime lab in Miami is *going to have* other work...

 

[kimblebee]

Women wake up with a full face of makeup. Oh, and everyone sleeps in a bra. I have never seen one floppy, droopy girl in allll the movies that I have watched.

 

[luvflorida]

People always sit around at night with nothing covering their windows, especially in horror movies. No blinds, no shades, nothing. Better for the stalker/killer/deranged monster to keep an eye on their victim.

Windows in bedrooms never seem to have screens on them either. People sleep with their windows wide open and apparently never have an issue with bugs/bats/birds flying in at night.

Cell phones NEVER have any service or work when you need them the most.

Cars always stall or never start when the driver is trying to get away from some evil monster.

It always snows on Christmas Eve.

 

[NHdisneylover]

A couple always wakes in the morning, smiles at one another and kisses.

First off, who smiles when they first wake in the morning - or anytime in the morning? Secondly, BRUSH THOSE TEETH!

After that kiss they will get out of bed, remove the sheets from the bed and wander around the house/apt wrapped in a sheet all morning.

 

[barkley]

there's always a parking spot directly in front of or across the street from the location the character needs to visit.

all bombs have electical displays that tell exactly when they will go off.

lipstick never wears off once applied.

there are magic bedsheets that always cover a woman up to her armpits but only to the waist of the the man next to her

 

[GemmaPixie]

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.

If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

A group of bad guys will always wait their turn to fight the good guy- they never all pounce at once to destroy him

Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

No-one ever stops to pee.

 

[MushyMushy]

Action heroes are able to fight their way though about 20 bad guys with only a punch to the face or single sword thrust. Likewise, a 90 pound stick of a woman is able to take down a 220 pound linebacker.

When cops or agents try to talk to witnesses, the witness is always in the middle of their job and is acting far too busy and blasé to talk to the cop.

Comedic irony is always on hand. A main character can say, "Only a complete moron would walk around in a green suit with a purple hat" and then seconds later their friend walks through the door in a green suit with a purple hat.

 

[libraryfreak]

The hero can get hit, kicked, punched, stabbed and shot w/o so much as flinching until the beautiful girl tries to do first aid - then he grimmaces and cries out.

During a car chase there is usually a "fruit cart"

I think Gene Siskel or Roger Ebert wrote a book about these things, it was hilarious. I forgot about it until OP brought this subject up - I'll have to go to the library soon. Thanks!

 

[DisneyKT]

Everyone always watches the aliens hatch and they just stand there. Run people run.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

From a nurse:

If you are in the hospital:

you will have oxygen tubing up your nose, probably be on wrong, risking choking you.

your bed rails will be down, even if you are in a coma.

your doctor will shock you if you flatline, and if that doesn't work, they will punch you in the chest and that WILL work.

 

[Acklander]

those annoying little things in life - i.e. stuck at a light, credit card declined, flat tire, lost keys etc.... will only happen if it's important to the plot.

When girls go to college they'll spend their evenings hanging around in their underwear having pillow fights

all smart people and geeks wear glasses.

If you're a cute guy/hero/have a nice smile, it's romantic to stalk a woman

 

[stevenpensacola]

After that kiss they will get out of bed, remove the sheets from the bed and wander around the house/apt wrapped in a sheet all morning.

and when they drink coffee, they clutch the cup with both hands, like they're holding a priceless crystal goblet...with the morning sun streaming through an open window, highlighting the steam coming off the coffee...

 

[stevenpensacola]

Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

All nurses are nymphomanics who hang out in the hospital cafeteria looking to seduce a doctor. They have no hesitation about doing the deed in the nearest linen closet.

I haven't read through all the posts so if I'm repeating forgive me but aren't you confusing this with Grey's Anatomy

 

[Nette]

HitWOMEN walk around town in their undies.

No one ever has a cell phone and will spend the entire movie working out a solution or hunting people down when the could have solved the problem with a phone call.

Computers are quick, efficient, and never freeze up or need to be restarted.

Yeah and no matter what computer you have with you on the alien ship, there is always an available port to connect to the alien network.

Or, just because you're an engineer, you can work any computer in the galaxy flawlessly the first time you see it.

 

[deegack]

If you have fertilty problems they will magically disappear without any medical intervention or if you live in some tv worlds they can perform invasive fertilty treatments with no tests because you happen to be ovulating right now!