Things That Only Happen In The Movies!!!

[Lovely2CU]

The people in the horror movies would still be alive if the would just listen to me and not go down in the basement where they heard the creepy noise.

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.


Please add yours!!!

 

[Jennasis]

Bad guys have ZERO ability to aim a weapon.

The good guys never run out of ammo.

Propane tanks and vehicles explode if shot in juuuust the right spot with so much as a handgun.

 

[Cat0727]

I'm subscribing to this thread, loving the answers so far! So true!

 

[Angelrose]

The hero can fall from a 10 story building and be fine. The bad guy trips over the curb and breaks his leg.

 

[stevenpensacola]

within minutes of meeting a total stranger of the opposite sex, you do "the deed".

Anytime you go around a corner in a car, no matter how fast, the tires squeal really loud.

Even if you're driving an economy car, when accelerating, the exhaust sounds like a racecar.

If you live in the Lifetime world, every abused wife, who now hates men, is dying of cancer...

 

[focusondisney]

Heroes chase bad guys thru city streets, all the while causing accidents & chaos as they run red lights, swerve onto walkways, etc. Or the vehicles blow up, again causing major damage to the city streets, buildings & other cars.

 

[minkydog]

If you are a girl being chased through the woods by zombie serial killer or even a Russian spy you WILL fall down and twist your ankle, becoming so disabled that only the male hero can possibly save you from a horrible, degrading attack on your virginity.

If you are a girl and you engage in a little heavy petting, you WILL be marked for death by the horrible looking zombie serial killer.

The more horrible looking the bad guy, the better looking the hero.

All nurses are nymphomanics who hang out in the hospital cafeteria looking to seduce a doctor. They have no hesitation about doing the deed in the nearest linen closet.

All male doctors are selfless, compassionate & earnest and willing to work 36 hours a day to save a patient. All female doctors are frigid, hostile witches.

If the male/female lead characters hate each other you can bet they'll be married or sleeping together in the last half hour of the movie.

 

[paintnolish]

Newborn babies look like cute 3 month old babies instead of wrinkley old men.

 

[tvguy]

within minutes of meeting a total stranger of the opposite sex, you do "the deed".

...

That only happens in the movies?

 

[okeydokey]

You order a meal or drink a restaurant, take one bite or sip, then leave the restaurant.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Total strangers with an idea to save the world can talk to the President of the USA because afterall this guy is not crazy, just smart and we should all listen to him because the fate of the world rests on his shoulders.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

You never say goodbye when hanging up the phone.
People always have unwrapped French bread sticking out of their grocery bags.


(I'm cheating a little, I remember a hilarious email forward that had a list like this)

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Oh, I remember another one.

If a cop is on his last assignment because he is scheduled to retire, he will be killed that day.

 

[minkydog]

If a cop is on his last assignment because he is scheduled to retire, he will be killed that day.

Likewise if it's a Marine or soldier serving in a war zone.

 

[momof1princess]

people in horror movies should NEVER investigate ANY sort of strange noise, answer the phone, "do the deed" or yell at strange cars that speed past them as they walk home from school. all of these things lead to certain death at the hands of a psychotic killer.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

if your a good guy and get stabbed (not severly) you can get up keep moving.
On walker texas ranger today, the guy stabbed him, leaving a minor wound which was gushing blood and he still manages to karate kick the guy over a wall, Oh yea, it was a 10 ft fall and the guy lived (till he got snippered 3 mins latter)

 

[wdwiala]

HitWOMEN walk around town in their undies.

No one ever has a cell phone and will spend the entire movie working out a solution or hunting people down when the could have solved the problem with a phone call.

Computers are quick, efficient, and never freeze up or need to be restarted.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

The hero is never quite as stupid as the villain.

 

[mrsv98]

Oh, I remember another one.

If a cop is on his last assignment because he is scheduled to retire, he will be killed that day.

Likewise if it's a Marine or soldier serving in a war zone.

or a no name person wearing red in a Star Trek movie!

 

[FoundMyPrince]

A couple always wakes in the morning, smiles at one another and kisses.

First off, who smiles when they first wake in the morning - or anytime in the morning? Secondly, BRUSH THOSE TEETH!