Things that make you shake your head!

[here757]

that may well be true, but i would have NO idea what any of them looks like... and not everyone has a bank account. that's part of why they are issued debit cards.

i get child support.. for a while i would get checks.. i would take them to the bank once a month. they were not for much. ( my mom taught me to budget and not rely on those funds) anyhow.

the checks stopped and i called and they told me about my card..
i was horrified!! the thought of the card killed me. so i set up to my bank account.

the child support card is brown. dont know what unemployement card looks like but the food stamp card. i think it was designed to be known.. its blue and red. reads EBT on the front big as day.

i have no issues with people who get the assistance. if they need it.
but those who abuse the sytem turn my stomach.

 

[here757]

things that make my shake my head...

i had a neighbor.. i knew her well.

her 4 year old going to school.. looking like she is grown.

i mean wearing baby phat. with that signature blue green. the shirt,shoes.laces,hair pieces,bookbag all match.. the exact bluegreen
hair perfectly done.

next day same thing. different designer.

back story on mom.. local furniture store always knocking on her door to repo.
they knock on mine about once a month to ask if they still live there.
her kids are on free lunch with the school system.( she has 2)
she refuses to work because they are worried about making to much money and thus loosing benfits

 

[memy26]

Years ago at the grocery I stood holding a tiny package of hamburger, mind you the cheapest you can buy (I was a single mom who made like $10 over the limit for food stamps). In front of me was a women trying to buy a bag of dog food with her stamps. She was told she couldn't, so she marched past us all in line, straight to the meat cooler and brought back a huge package of ground chuck and announced her dog was going to eat like a king. I was shocked . A few people in line had a few choice words for her and they weren't very nice at all. I just stood there with my mouth open, I will never forget it.

I use to work in a grocery store and sadly saw this alot

 

[here757]

i cant understand..

why do the users get upset with the cashier.. they dont make the rules. they just have to follow them..

 

[rie'smom]

I totally agree.

It is my job to work with Food Stamp families and teach them
basic nutrition, budgeting, label reading, meal planning,
how to save money at the grocery store, and basic cooking skills,
as well as how to deal with picky eaters, how to choose healthy snacks
that are cheap (under $1), the importance of exercise,
and how to safely handle food to prevent illness, etc.
I do a lot of coaching and mentoring of these families.

The SNAP-Ed (SNAP is the new name for Food Stamps - Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, and Ed. is for Education- how to use them.) program is FREE and available in all 50 states, but it is not mandatory.

I work either in groups or one-on-one with people in their homes to teach them how to eat more healthfully on food stamps.
For every $1.00 we spend to educate someone $10.67 is saved in health care costs down the road.

I agree that it is frustrating to witness the candy episode.
Go to your superwalmart on the first day of the month and see the buggies piled up with frozen foods and it is much the same.

Part of the problem is that a lot of folks are growing up in homes
where no real cooking is going on.
All some people know is how to heat and eat.
They don't know what to do with a bag of beans or potatoes or raw chicken.
The most commonly eaten vegetable dish in the US is french fries. seriously.

Another issue is that people who grew up in generational poverty (parents grew up on food stamps too) have a completely different value set.
If you've ever wondered why the family paying for groceries with food stamps
is wearing the newest fashionable brand name clothing you might want to read:
A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Dr. Ruby Payne
http://www.amazon.com/Framework-Understanding-Poverty-Ruby-Payne/dp/1929229143

I try to coach people through experience-
I guide them through making a healthy recipe and the family gets to taste it.
Tasting is believing.

But just a thought, folks:
I love your perspective and the way you stand up for what is right.
Consider giving of your time to volunteer in your community to mentor the kids of some of these families.
Right now in my own community we also have youth programs that are available to reach out to these kids, but we are lacking in volunteers.
Last year we worked with the 4-H program,
and while I worked with mothers in the local low income apartment complex community room,
we had youth and adults mentoring the kids in an adjacent room.
This program had an enormous impact, not just on the parents, but on the kids.

Programs like this cannot happen without people, volunteers, to make them happen.
Besides my 40 hours a week teaching with SNAP-Ed, I also work with 4-H teens in my free time.
But this year we lost our 4-H agent, and we are in a hiring freeze,
and we are desperately in need of adult and teen volunteers.

Many hands make lighter work.
While I'm pretty sure that none of you can help out our local program
in your locality there are real needs that are probably going unmet.

Please, if you feel strongly about this subject, consider giving a little of your time as a Resource Mother at your local Health Department (mentors young low income mothers) or call your local Cooperative Extension to ask about volunteering with 4-H or your local SNAP-Ed program.

I agree the the system is rife with problems, but it is so unrealistic to expect the government to solve all these problems.
Be the change you want to see in the world.


[/FONT]

When I was in school a million years ago we had to read about generational poor. They're still here. Why? Because they're not taught any better. They're a captive audience in grade school. Why not teach them in grade school, and keep repeating it until they graduate? In this way, they'll get the education BEFORE they get the food stamps.

When I hear read this or that, I shut down. Much of it is idealistic, excuse making BS written by people who wouldn't know poverty if it jumped up and bit them. I was poor and I was a single mother who lived on $200/month. This money had to cover food not covered by WIC, rent, and utilities. All month long I saved to take my son to the movies on dollar night and to get a pizza. We did without sometimes but we made it. I joined the Christmas Club at the bank and put in $5/week and any extra that I was able to save in order to buy his Christmas presents.

You know what? I picked my self up and improved life for my son and myself. It can be done. It's hard and many people don't want to work hard to lift themselves out of poverty.

BTW, I volunteered at a food bank. The complaints I heard from people who should have been thankful made me sick. For 2 years I worked there and no one time did I hear "Thank-you".

 

[pintamino]

IMHO I think that EBT-Food Stamps should be limited to nessities and healthy food items. Junk food is an extra that you can live without. Food stamps should be a hand up in hard times not a hand out. I'm not against helping people , but I get ticked off when it's abused.

On the same note, I'd like to see food stamps work more like WIC -- healthy food like eggs, cheese, milk, vegetables, fruit, meat. There's a farmer's market near my house that takes food stamps, which I actually think is a great idea.

When I worked at Eckerd (back when there was an Eckerd...) I once had somebody get cash back off their Access card (this is in PA) and use it to buy CIGARETTES. That's not a "normal little thing", that's a luxury. I was a 16 year old making $5.15 an hour, losing a good bit of it to taxes, which were buying this woman's cigarettes.

I'm all for helping people -- there have been people in my family's past generations who were hard, honest workers who came on hard times -- but there is a good deal of corruption in the welfare program and it makes me angry when I'm working low-pay jobs to put myself through university and my taxes are helping even one corrupt person. I just try to think about all the people and children it helps.

 

[goodfood4ursoul]

things that make my shake my head...

i had a neighbor.. i knew her well.

her 4 year old going to school.. looking like she is grown.

i mean wearing baby phat. with that signature blue green. the shirt,shoes.laces,hair pieces,bookbag all match.. the exact bluegreen
hair perfectly done.

next day same thing. different designer.

back story on mom.. local furniture store always knocking on her door to repo.
they knock on mine about once a month to ask if they still live there.
her kids are on free lunch with the school system.( she has 2)
she refuses to work because they are worried about making to much money and thus loosing benfits

Yes, her choices are hard for us to understand because we were not raised in generational poverty.

If you really want to try to understand, look for this book at the library:
http://www.amazon.com/Framework-Understanding-Poverty-Ruby-Payne/dp/1929229143

I'm not excusing it at all, I am just saying that if you want to understand, this book is a good start.

I won't go on ad nauseum, because my post of page 4 has more info.

 

[Colleen27]

I
They have limits on what is allowed to be purchased with WIC. I know because many years ago I was on it and today the standards are the same. The food allowed is healthy-no sugar cereals, real cheese, etc. The truth is they don't want to tick off constituents.

How hard would it be to copy the WIC standards and paste them onto the food stamp website? Hell, I'd do it for free. Announce it on tv and radio, have articles in the paper, shoot emails to the chain stores' corporate offices and let them inform their stores. You can be absolutely sure that if they want to get the message out, they could.

WIC is a supplement, though, not a complete diet. The guidelines wouldn't scale up that simply.

Think of a mitten tree in a school. They provide hats, gloves, scarves, earmuffs to less fortunate kids. There's some variation as far as color/gender, but all the items are essentially similar and one-size-fits-all. It wouldn't be possible to provide an entire wardrobe using the same basic model. There would be too many complicating factors - size, gender, personal taste, religious/moral standards (modesty), school rules (uniforms or not), etc. WIC operates like that mitten tree, providing a few basic staples that are nearly universally accepted as part of a healthy diet. And like that mitten tree, it can't be neatly scaled up to meet every need - religious rules (kosher), moral values (vegetarians/vegans), allergies and intolerances, ethnic traditions, and individual tastes all come into play and make it impossible to administer a comprehensive diet modeled after the WIC program.

 

[DMRick]

I'm with you, I hate to read type of story (guess what they were buying with food stamps!! The outrage of it!) this and the comments that follow. I've told the story in the past when what someone was buying with their food stamps was discussed. After my mom's cancer and death, once their money (and a lot of money from myself and siblings) was gone my dad's cancer came back (I think the stress of her death just left him not wanting to fight) they qualified for medicaid and then food stamps. He was a thin guy, poor thing, and we tried to stock his freezer and he got meals on wheels.

He did also use the food stamps. He was way too proud to use them, so I got to go to the market from him. He came often, but sat down (he just wouldn't go through the line, so he always said he was too tired) on the seat they put in front of the windows for those waiting for others to go through the line. I got just what the doctor ordered...pudding, whipped cream, and anything fattening. We tried so hard to keep some weight on him. And boy, each month it was judgement time.

Those that think they are doing the person a favor and making remarks about what they are buying are not. All that was accomplished was that soon my dad would not even come out to the market with me any longer. One time the gal behind me thought it was OK to talk to the gal at the register about my purchase, when she realized I was paying with food stamps. The gal at the register made such an insulting remark, I asked for the manager, and she was relieved from her duty. I was called later with an apology and told not only was she fired, but it would be addressed with all the cashiers.

OK, so the first story was about someone that told you she was having a party. You still have no idea why. She could have already bought their food for the month and had food stamps left over. Maybe she was a great shopper, only buying on sale. Maybe she had many foster children and was trying to do something special for them, after she had already spent her own money for food. Without walking in her shoes, you would have no idea of knowing just how it happened she was using a food stamp card.

Maybe her exhusband was a deadbeat and now has to pay direct to social services and she has a card. Maybe she said the word debit and you thought it was and ebt card.

All this judging to me is the saddest. I"ve been on the other side, and it feels awful, especially when you know you are doing nothing wrong. I used to explain it, then I realized I didn't have too, and those judging prob wouldn't believe me anyway. Don't worry, you don't have to say anything directly, I could easily hear all the tsk tsking, all the remarks under your breath, and you talking loudly to the person with you about my purchases. Hope you are never in the same shoes.

But...I have a really hard time with being nasty towards those who use food stamps, because my mom was shamed MANY times at grocery stores while using them to feed us. Even when buying normal food, the cashiers and those around were just so rude and mean. .

 

[DMRick]

BTW, I volunteered at a food bank. The complaints I heard from people who should have been thankful made me sick. For 2 years I worked there and no one time did I hear "Thank-you".

I'm sorry to hear that. If you lived near me, I would take you to our missions where we serve. The word Thank you is used by just about everyone. It's taught at this mission. When we start with a Bible story, off come the hats. They are quiet while we pray for the meal. When we hand food out to take home after the meal, everyone seems thankful. For us and my grands who also serve, it's a positive experience. We really feel we are helping.

They also have just started a free medical ministry. The doc's and nurses are volunteers. Again, lots of appreciation for what they are doing.

 

[SoonerSarah]

Has anyone seeing others buy "junk" with food stamps ever considered that one of their kids might be having a birthday? Perhaps it's a celebration of life after a kid goes into remission.

Yes, I have problems with $170 in candy. But, I also have problems with other people being the judge and jury when it comes to the food that someone else purchases. You don't know their entire story, you don't know what is going on in their life. You don't know when the last time was that they purchased candy.

My parents had to live on welfare for a while. More than 5 years, but less than 10, I don't really remember. My dad lost his job while my Mom was pregnant with their 4th child and their 3rd child was having significant medical bills. The 4th one also had significant medical bills (heart related for both). In order for my parents to get assistance, they had to sell their two older cars (family members purchased them and gave them back to my parents), and they had to use up all money that they had in savings and for college in order to do so. Then, both of my parents ended up going back to school, both going full time and working jobs that were 30 hours or more, in addition to having 4 kids and using minimal daycare. My dad had a 4.0 GPA while in college, while being diagnosed with dyslexia. My Mom became an RN and had top grades in all of her classes. And yes, my parents would use their food stamps to buy stuff to make a cake on our birthday, to give us candy at Easter and Christmas.

I know all too well that many parents aren't like that. I know that a lot of them do abuse the system. And I do think that this woman was abusing the system.

 

[goodfood4ursoul]

When I was in school a million years ago we had to read about generational poor. They're still here. Why? Because they're not taught any better. They're a captive audience in grade school. Why not teach them in grade school, and keep repeating it until they graduate? In this way, they'll get the education BEFORE they get the food stamps.

When I hear read this or that, I shut down. Much of it is idealistic, excuse making BS written by people who wouldn't know poverty if it jumped up and bit them. I was poor and I was a single mother who lived on $200/month. This money had to cover food not covered by WIC, rent, and utilities. All month long I saved to take my son to the movies on dollar night and to get a pizza. We did without sometimes but we made it. I joined the Christmas Club at the bank and put in $5/week and any extra that I was able to save in order to buy his Christmas presents.

You know what? I picked my self up and improved life for my son and myself. It can be done. It's hard and many people don't want to work hard to lift themselves out of poverty.

BTW, I volunteered at a food bank. The complaints I heard from people who should have been thankful made me sick. For 2 years I worked there and no one time did I hear "Thank-you".

First let me say that you have accomplished something very difficult.
Many people allow their circumstances to dictate their path instead of
choosing to improve their lives through hard work and sacrifice.

I can appreciate your frustration with the attitude of some who receive benefits at food banks.
There are always going to be people like that.
There are also people who are truly grateful.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you's are far and few between, and I learned a long time ago that I don't do what I do to be thanked.

Have you read Dr. Payne's book?
Before you dismiss it, you ought to at least look at it.
The premise is that people who were raised outside of poverty,
but find themselves in the midst of it through divorce, death, illness or job loss
handle the situation far differently than those whose families have been actually living in poverty for generations.

People who did not grow up in poverty are more likely to find a way to escape a poverty situation because of the values and skills they obtained before entering poverty.

It's worth a read, anyway, and Amazon gives you a peek inside the book, which you might enjoy.

By the way, half of what I do is working with youth in schools.
Any school that has 50% or more kids on the free and reduced lunch program is eligible for my program.

I worked with over 550 kids last year alone and am already working
with another 200 this month alone.

The answer lies in working with both parents and kids, and not just kids in schools, but in after school programs and in their own communities.

The answer lies in continuing to look for ways to make a difference in our own communties.
I appreciate the time you took to serve at your local food bank.

 

[dyna]

YES I agree those on food stamps should not be able to buy junk food make the food stamp program more like the WIC program yet give these ppl an allotment for basic household products in IN the not only get no personal care products but NO household products either. We all need laundry soap, dishliquid but then we'd be complaining those food stamp ppl was buying dishwipes instead of the cheaper liquid in bottle lol

While the WIC program is better than the food stamp program in the sense the WIC ppl can only buy nutrietious foods it does not mean all that food is used. I know of 1 mom who gets WIC an throws out more of the stuff than she uses or gives it away which is better than just throwing it out.

Her oldest child not yet 5 has gained more than 30 lbs in the last year. Has the mom offered this child an egg sandwich instead of toaster strudel or frozen pizza for lunch? Of course not!

 

[rie'smom]

WIC is a supplement, though, not a complete diet. The guidelines wouldn't scale up that simply.

Think of a mitten tree in a school. They provide hats, gloves, scarves, earmuffs to less fortunate kids. There's some variation as far as color/gender, but all the items are essentially similar and one-size-fits-all. It wouldn't be possible to provide an entire wardrobe using the same basic model. There would be too many complicating factors - size, gender, personal taste, religious/moral standards (modesty), school rules (uniforms or not), etc. WIC operates like that mitten tree, providing a few basic staples that are nearly universally accepted as part of a healthy diet. And like that mitten tree, it can't be neatly scaled up to meet every need - religious rules (kosher), moral values (vegetarians/vegans), allergies and intolerances, ethnic traditions, and individual tastes all come into play and make it impossible to administer a comprehensive diet modeled after the WIC program.

They can use WIC as a beginning. Does anyone here think that there is no federal employee who is a dietitian? Really, he/she could come up with a list of acceptable food substitutions.
Heck, they could use Eat This, Not That as a guideline.

At 52, I've been around the block and heard the excuses. If the gov't can come up with the boondoggle, then they can figure it out. Let them have a contest. Pay the person who comes up with the solution a couple of million dollars. This would be a cheap fix. It would save lives and $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ in health care costs.

 

[cm8]

While the WIC program is better than the food stamp program in the sense the WIC ppl can only buy nutritious foods it does not mean all that food is used. I know of 1 mom who gets WIC an throws out more of the stuff than she uses or gives it away which is better than just throwing it out.!

What I don't Understand is why there isn't an upset about people who do that as well


The same thing happens in corporate America all the time, yet no one complains. What kills my husband is the fact that Illegal aliens are also eligible for WIC and no citizenship is necessary to get the benefits. He also get upset when he sees people using SNAP to purchase steak, crab legs and shrimp on our dollars I think it is very sad when you can commit a crime, a felony no less and then get benefits still

 

[StitchBuddy]

Have you ever heard of Ruby Payne?? SHe explains the reasoning behind stuff like this, it is quite interesting.

 

[Fierce Fairy]

Wow! There is a lot of condemning and judging going on. There is also a lot of "they" need to do this and we need to do this with "them"...as if those who receive food stamps are another species. We have become a nation of blamers and a callous nation. Let us all coral them together and have them go to the "poor" store where they can get the "poor" people food...they don't deserve to shop where I shop. Again WOW! I agree with the other post about helping our fellow countrymen/women... roll up our sleeves and help. Get involved. Teach somebody some of the good things you know so they "can" do better. A lot of people up here are speaking as if because their W-2 looks healthier then someone else’s at the end of the year, they are better. We never know what any of our circumstances will be in 5 or ten years. I am blessed with a lovely home, lovely children, and a husband with a very good salary. But at no time would I ever look at another person and think “I have known you for 3 minutes and I think you are a bad person because of what I "think" I saw you put in your shopping cart and how you paid for it.” Believe me if you are on this budget board there is someone else looking down their noses and judging you.

May we all find a less hostel way to communicate and work at making our country better.

 

[pearlieq]

As a former cancer patient who received extremely high doses of chemotherapy which made me not only lose weight but become VERY sick, I have to ask what "sugary items" are you referring to that chemo patients need????

Most times, I couldn't stomach ANY type of food or liquid, let alone anything sugary. That statement makes no sense to me.

I'm surprised at this.

Most people who have been around the block with cancer are aware that many patients go through spells where they are literally living on popsicles, pudding, ice cream, etc.

You've never heard of anyone with mouth sores? Altered tastes due to chemo drugs? Cachexia? Pica? Thrush?

She's on hospice now, but my mom will go through 4-6 popsicles and a quart of ice cream a day. With one chemo drug it was pudding, and another it was pumpkin pie filling. When you're in that situation you go with what works.

I know there are always going to be exceptions to every rule, and I do get the dietary issues that come with illness. I still think there's a way we can make our current system better.

 

[DMRick]

Sorry about your mom

With my mom it was watermelon. It's pretty expensive in the winter, but it was worth it. She craved it. People brought watermelon instead of flowers when they visited.

With my dad, it was ice cream and pudding..so we used that to try to fatten him up.
Mom couldn't eat off of a metal spoon during chemo..it made the food (what little she ate) taste like, well, metal.

She's on hospice now, but my mom will go through 4-6 popsicles and a quart of ice cream a day. With one chemo drug it was pudding, and another it was pumpkin pie filling. When you're in that situation you go with what works.

I know there are always going to be exceptions to every rule, and I do get the dietary issues that come with illness. I still think there's a way we can make our current system better.

 

[vgrandy]

The reason WIC works is that it is a very limited program: milk, cheese, cereal,juice, peanut butter. There are no fresh fruits, fresh veggies (or even canned/frozen fruits or veggies) or meats. It is not a complete diet. Think about trying to dictate every food item: steak not ok but hamburger is. chicken thighs are ok but not chicken breast. It can go on and on and on. Think of the resources need to dictate and evaluate every single food item in the grocery store and to keep it updated as new foods come in.

As for "sugary" items, it is such a slippery slope. So, no sodas, candy or cookies. How about a cake mix? What about a bag of sugar and chocolate chips? What about the choice between "regular" applesauce that has sugar added and "natural" that does not. Where do you draw the line and who gets to draw it?

At some point people need to be responsible for themselves.

I work with these people everyday. The ones who will be on public assistance for the rest of their lives. Yes, their food stamps are often twice my monthly grocery budget. I am so glad not to be in their shoes.