Things I Need to Work On. (edited to add...Posts welcome)

[tlgoblue]

October 10, 2003
Already got rid of one pound of water, and will probably have it all gone by tomorrow a.m. Still haven't haven't had brekky yet. (locked myself out of the house this a.m. , and just was able to hunt down my neighbor who has a spare key!) So I'm thinking the usual for brekky and then a walk with DH at lunch. I really want to get some toning and strength training in this morning because I am seeing results and I like results. Better get going! Will finish posting later!

 

[tlgoblue]

October 16, 2003

A week has nearly passed. What have I accomplished?
Not much, really. I lost all my water weight, and at last weigh in, was 152. Not quite as good as I had hoped for. At this pace, I will miss my Halloween deadline of 145. But if I'm really good, I would be happy to see 148, and grab my 10 lb clippie. Thats only 4 pounds in 2 weeks. (Halloween candy doesn't bother me, so at least I don't have that demon to fight.) It could be done.
In any event, I'm not discouraged by what I've been doing, or seeing as far as a new shape in the mirror. I have been feeling much better physically. This cold I have is not too awful and I really think it is because I have been taking much better care of myself. I have noticed an improvement in my level of exertion as well as endurance. I can actually get through 150 crunches without feeling like I'm going to barf. I ran around the football field at DS's game on Wednesday, in the driving wind, rain and freezing temps, and didn't die! So I guess things are going well. It is funny, that when I first started this journey, I wanted health first and the weight loss was icing. Now I've committed to losing weight, and I'm seeing health benefits, and very little weight loss.
Oh well. It's all good.

 

[tlgoblue]

October 17, 2003

Well, yesterday was not as bad as it seemed. Actually, in all my funk, I managed to have a very productive day.
1. Srubbed my kitchen.
2. Did strength training for an hour.
3. Stayed on plan.
4. Went to the gym finally. Did EFX for 30 mins and power walked for 15. (had to pick DH up from airport and had to cut workout short.)

So it really worked out to be a fine day.

So far today, I have been feeling a bit lethargic. Probably overdid yesterday, not to mention this cold thinggy. So, I'm having my usual for brekky and doing Pilates, and going to Hooter's for lunch with DH. We split a buffalo platter and I have a huge garden salad, so it should be ok. Then we will go to the gym tonight. Sounds like a plan. Dinner should be my famous chicken fajitas, but the chick is still frozen, so I'll have to come up with a back-up, just in case. (Secret is to marinate for at least 4 hours. Overnight is best.) So I'll have to think of something else and hit the market.

UGH! Went way off plan today! My back up plan was a failure. I made hamburgers that grandma had left behind when she left for Florida. (Even from afar, she has a negative impact on my eating habits.) She pre-forms her burgers and then freezes them "Grandma, what kind of ground beef do you use?" "Just plain ground beef." "How big are those patties?" "half pound." Fitday says one burger with bun and mustard and ketchup is 771 calories. Add my wine, and popcorn, and I'm off plan by over 400 caloris for the day. And I didn't get to the gym! DS came home with a bad cold and so we all stayed in and watched Martin Scorseses Blues. Great program, but I think I'd rather go to the gym. Listening to John Lee Hooker right now! UNH HOW HOW HOW HOW! There's always tomorrow!

 

[tlgoblue]

October 18, 2003
I am so upset about yesterday. I really want to weigh myself to see just how much damage I did. I'm not going to though. I'm going to the gym this a.m. and not drinking beer while my team plays, and I will behave myself for the next 2 days!.. I was so hoping for a whoosh, and I'm afraid I really put that in jeopardy. I will check back later. Oh yea! In yesterdays post, I didn't mean to sound like I blamed grandma for my stupidity. It's just an example of how hard it is to break bad habits. I should have known by the sheer size of these burgers that I would have trouble with eating a balanced meal and staying under budget.

 

[Camping Griswalds]

Hang in there. Don't give in to the temption to weigh yourself. It will only be depressing. The cool thing about messing up is that it can strengthen your resolve...hope it does!!

 

[tlgoblue]

October 20, 2003
Have a few minutes while my coffee is brewing, so here goes.

Had an incredibly bad weekend! Not food wise. I managed to keep it under 1500 calories, but Saturday I was a very bad girl. I pleged not to drink any beer while my team played, and I was true to that. But I drank an entire bottle of wine, instead! (and still sayed under 1500!) It was a total emotional binge. I have a hard time when DH is home lately. He is gone so often that when he is home, I just can't get too close or I'll be devastated when he leaves, so I put this incredible distance between us, and I did it with ALCOHOL! Then I had a melt down about it on Sunday and basically blamed him for everything! I know it is in no way his fault he has to be gone so much, but the truth is, he is my best friend and I am lonely without him. (Co-dependant? Our picture is in the dictionary!) When I sense someone is going to cause me pain, I withdraw. So that is what I did on Saturday, and somehow I paid for it in my total loss, which was zilch, zip , nada! And I had been so on track with eating and exercise!

Anyway, that was my weekend. I think I explained myself to DH and hope he understands. He says he does, and maybe I was speaking for both of us, I'm not sure. But we feel much better and he gets to stay home for almost an entire month! I am overjoyed! I hope this traveling phase is wrapped up in the next couple of months. It is great for my diet, as I spend loads of time exrecising to keep my mind off of him, but it all goes straight to hell when he comes home. It is a real rollercoaster. I can only imagine what he is going through with his health issues.
Well, coffee is done, and the ironing isn't! So long for now.

 

[tlgoblue]

October 23, 2003
I have been trying to get my journal entries but have had trouble with these boards for the past few days. One more try.

I have been faithful to my exercise pledge. I have been meeting my eating targets. I have been feeling much better since this week end. But, I did my measurments and nothing has changed. I'm so confused because my clothes are fitting so much better, and I can see a difference in the mirror. Maybe I'm just firming up key areas, and am not as puffy or something. I can tell I've lost weight, and am really tempted to weigh in. I was also considering going back to a Friday weigh in. How I got stuck on Mondays, I'll never know, but I really liked Friday better. Probably because when I weighed on Friday, I was motivated to keep going over the weekend, where on Monday, I'm usually devastated from the week end. (Though I tend to start the week with a heightened level of enthusiasm when I see what I messed up on over the weekend! ) Truthfully, I should only weigh once a month (like on day 5 of TOM), but I can't gage how what I'm eating affects me if I only do once a month. Maybe once a month should be my ACTUAL loss, and the rest just the general trend. Sounds good to me. So let's see. A month ago I weighed 155. That was Sept. 22. I'm going to weigh in tomorrow and see what my ACTUAL loss for one month is. I know I'll be disappointed, because it is now where near the 8-10 pounds I was shooting for, but it should be gone forever, no matter how much it is!

Today, I did Pilates.
Yesterday I did 1 hour cardio.
Tuesday, I did Strength training for an hour and strolled for an hour.
Monday, I did cardio for an hour and strolled for an hour.

I will probably squeeze in an hour of cardio today when I take the girls to the Y. I feel a bit better from the shot. I may not get a real vigorous work out, but I will do something.

 

[tlgoblue]

October 24, 2003
Yesterday was awesome and awful! I worked my butt off! I did Pilates. I did cardio, and I did "Spinning". I must have sweat out 3 pounds! Alas,! I'll never know, because as I was leaving the Y, DH called and said I had to drive to his office after I dropped off four other children and bring him his car keys which he left in his coat in my car from when we went walking at lunch! So by the time I had picke him up, it was 6:30. We all decided to go to the Crack House for dinner, because we were all famishe and it is just down the street from his office. UGH! I had my usual: 2 margs, steak fajitas and chips and salsa. Running the fitday numbers showed I wnt over my target calories by 300, but really it was about 600 because I have been staying between 1200 and 1300. Then you add in the salt, and well, I guess I'll not even bother with the scale today. I'll just get back to business, and get to the gym and then do some strength training, drink tons of water and have a great day food wise. I'll weigh in on Monday and hope for the best. According to fitday, I still managed to burn 1000 calories more than I consumed, but the salt and type of calories will be causing me fits for a few days. On top of that, TOM will be summoning the BF any day now. Oh well. Check in later to report on my progress.

 

[tlgoblue]

November 5, 2003

I have been sort of disappointed with my loss lately. What loss? So here I am back to my journal. I am tired of Fitday, as I have been making much of my own food and it just takes too much time for me to analyze my own recipe, but I know about how many cals, fat cals, carbs and protien, so I know I have not been being bad. I did get into an exercise slump which ran from Friday til Monday. That coupled with TOM and a salty few days, has me maintaining at 151. Not too bad, but I missed my Halloween goal by 3 pounds, and it looks very much like I'll miss my Thanksgiving goal of 140. It's ok though. I am setting high goals and being happy with steady progress.
I have noticed some very nice changes in my life lately. One is that Halloween was no problem whatsoever! I had 1 beer. That was my indulgence. Over the rest of the weekend, I did have a whole bottle of wine and a bag of tostitos, but the rest of my meals were super healthy and on target. The whole problem was being at the Island. (the chips were there from when grandma and grandpa left for Florida. I would never buy them, because then I would eat them!) It was cold and rainy, so no walking. I can't really workout in the house, as I seem to shake the entire structure, and even if I didn't, my kids laugh at me! (That's what I get for doing the same to my DM when she was my age! )
Another change is that I have begun to get the Whole Foods concept. I just try to eat as much organic, whole food as possible. It is expensive, but I find I eat much less, so it is about a push. Not only that, but the price one pays for convenience food is horrendous! It makes me feel good too, knowing that I am helping many of my local farmers here in Indiana, by buying from the local co-op. Yea, the veggies are smaller, but they do taste better, and there seems to be much less waste. Oh yea, convenience food. Gone! To much salt, and words I can't pronounce. I even make a lot of my own bread!
I have also begun to gradually eliminate snacking. I do eat apples, and nuts and things like that on occasion, but that is it. I won't poison my body with refined sugars, preservatives and other nonsense. Don't even like the looks of it. I have come to the conclusion that it is me against the food industry, and I will not let them tell me what to eat. Though those Dannon smoothies are lifesavers in a crunch, and I can't figure out what the half of that is made from.
Just a few observations.
Today, I had a Dannon smoothie for breakky, some Quinoa taboulie and a small salad and some sort of miso soup with all kinds of veggies and cumin and tofu for lunch. I did my short pilates today and will go to the gym for an hour of cardio when I drop off DD for her class at the Y, and then maybe make Coneys for the family while I have leftover pork roast for dinner. I feel pretty happy today, though I know I'm not progressing at the rate I would like. I am progressing though. I do think I'll start weighing in on Thursdays, for the GOBBLE CHALLENGE. So Maybe tomorrow will hold good news!

 

[tlgoblue]

November 6, 2003
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I did my mini pilates, did an hour of cardio and then walked with DH for an hour. I was feeling a bit sluggish and thererfore did not get as good a workout as I had hoped, but at least I went through the motions. I had sushi for dinner last night, and it was disappointing. I have not been getting sushi from this particular place lately, as thy are catering more to the california roll/inari crowd. Well I won't be getting my sushi from them anymore. I also had a rather lacklustre glass of merlot as my dessert. Maybe my taster is off.
Today, I have so many things to accomplish. Pilates at 10:30, and sometime between the workout, laundry and TOM (which always throws what feels like an extra 50 pounds on my back), I need to shop for and prepare a yummy chicken salad and a spinach salad for DS's Football banquet tonight. At least I know what's for dinner.
I did Weigh in today, and was pleased to be down a pound to 150. I know that I'm nowhere near my projected path of loss to meet my TG goal, but considering TOM and all, I am not disappointed. I think by Monday, I'll be grabbing my 10 lb clippie.
I will weigh in on Monday, as that will be day 4 of my cycle, which is my most dependable day for charting true progress. I keep track monthly as a more accurate loss, as week to week can give very misleading and usually disappointing results.

 

[tlgoblue]

November 7, 2003
I am so proud of myself today. I went to DS's Football Banquet last night and totally behaved myself. I had a spinach salad (which I made, so I know it was healthy), a small amount of the chicken salad, (which I also made and therefore know it was not healthy , which was why I only had about 1/3 cup), a few bites of a mexican rice and bean dish, which was loaded with cheese and salt, but tastey. I also tried some sweet potato and white potato dish that I could tell wasn't worth the calories, so I only had a bite and threw the rest out. I also threw out a cornbread dish which looked good in the beginning, then I realized it was cornbread topped with Hormel chili and crushed Frito's I did indulge in a bread pudding dessert. It was good. Brown sugar on the bottom and bread smothered with egg and vanilla and topped with apples and pecans. I had 3 small bites. I was really happy with my choices. I was not at all tempted by the plethora of pasta, pork and pizza dishes, nor the "salad" table which largely consisted of dessert type salads, pasta salads, with little in the way of green offerings, and I could have passed on the entire browniecheesecakecookiecupcakesnickerdoodle table, except for the thing with the nuts looked like it would be good and not too terrible. (go figure, I was the only one I saw eating it, and indeed, there was hardly any gone at the end of the everning. )
So I guess my first outing at a buffet since my healthy lifestyle changes, was a success. I am feeling very confident in my ablilty to resist (or even not have any interset in) that type of sustanance. Next stop, Sterling Brunch, Las Vegas! (My last buffet, before changes!) Though I did stick mostly with the sushi and caviar. and all the champagne you can drink, so I did. I probably will not get to exercise today, but will not rule it out either. I'll have to see how I am doing with TOM. So far, not so good, but that can change for the better, as easily as for the worse. I'll keep myself ready!

 

[tlgoblue]

November 10, 2003
This weekend was a wash! Started out everyday doing well, only to blow it on the evening meal.
Friday, went to the crack house. Though I only had 1.5 margaritas, and 2 veggie fajitas, the salt in the salsa and the fajitas did me in.
Saturday, same thing. Great morning, but evening meal was ceasar salad. Too salty.
Sunday, I thought I would pull it off! Walked downtown and had great breakky and lunch. Had hibachi style japanese food for dinner. Again, mostly veggies, and shrimp and a few bites of chicken and steak. Over ate and bloated from more salt.
Today, started out great, but then had leftover ceasar salad for lunch and salted up again! Maybe I'll just skip dinner!
I will weigh in tomorrow, even though I'm feeling very puffy. I could probably use a good slap in the face right now. Thinking about pulling out of the Turkey day challenge, but then what incentive would I have?

 

[tlgoblue]

November 11, 2003
First, business. The scale at the gym said 152 fully clothed,with shoes. Came home, scale said the same. Then-off with the clothes, on the scale-149! Yea Baby! That's what I'm talkin' about! On-off-on-off-on-off! Still 149. So I'm pretty happy about that, considering I can tell I'm still retaining water. (Jiggly belly and my arms show a 1/2 inch increase, and it ain't muscle )

Now for some thoughts. I am finding it increasinly necessary to exercise. I am almost witchy when I don't.

I have also not been paying any attention to my salt intake, which accounts for most of my frustration.

I am happy about these things:
I never feel deprived.
I am at worst, maintaining my weight.
I have much more energy.
My 10's fit me nicely. Not tight, but not baggy either.

I am worried about these things:
Thanksgiving, now that my entire family wants to spend it here.

What to do about maintenace, once I get to where I want to be.
OOOOOH! I know! An extra glass of wine!

 

[tlgoblue]

Yesterday was great! I was really tired, as I haven't had a really good night's sleep in 3 days. I did manage to stay completely on plan. Went to the gym and did my hour of cardio. I find that if I don't get my cardio in at least 3 times a week, I stall and have a two week lag. That is why even though I was wiped out, I did it any way.
Brekky:
Oatbran with skim milk, raisens and splenda

Lunch:
Spinach Salad with cucumbers, scallions, and Roasted pepper vinaigrette, and stir fried squash.

Dinner:
Subway 6" turkey on wheat, loaded with veggies, and oil and vinegar, and a Dannon Smoothie

Dessert:
A large glass of Sauvignon Blanc

Today I have pilates, and if I'm up to it, I may do some cardio, but I don't know. Kath really hurt me last Tuesday and I'm not sure what she has planned for me today. (I told one of the students in one of her other classes that I wouldn't recommend the Pilates class, and lo and behold the next meeting she ups the intensity exponentially!)
I will weigh in at the gym and post on the Thanksgiving Challenge thread. Hoping for that clippie today. I also want to cut my hair, like short. The only thing is when I work out, I cant stand hair on my neck or in my face and I dont think I want to go so short that that isn't an issue. So, I'll probably just get a trim.
DH returns today and has already stated that he wants to go to the Crack House for dinner. Maybe I'll just empty the checking account and tell him we cant afford it! Sounds like a plan!
I'll check back after pilates. Did I mention I have a cold and would really rather not do this? But I am so close to my clippie, and my first mini goal is only 3 pounds away from that, how can I not go?

 

[tlgoblue]

Checking back after Pilates and I have earned a new clippie! Not just 148, but 147! I did my Pilates and a half hour of cardio, came home had a big salad to celebrate, and watched the Ya Ya's and cried. DH will be home soon and I will hav ea wonderful weekend! Dinner? I don't know. That depends of whether or not DH makes his connection in Chicago. If he does, it will be crack house, if not homemade crack (tacos). Now I need a cup o joe!

 

[tlgoblue]

What can I say about today? It's a lazy day. Have been pretty much sitting in front of the computer, surfing and getting ticked about my up coming vacation, thinking My TA just threw together a few things and gave me a price and rushed me into something and I'm thinking about cancelling the whole thing and just doing it on my own. Besides that, I need to get to the gym. I went to the Crack House for dinner last night. Had 2 veggie fajitas, chips, loads of salt, I mean salsa, and 2 margs.
Today I have been extra good eating my gruel and mangos for brekky and black bean and corn and roasted peppr soup with a salad and a 1/2 bagel for lunch. Dinner will probably be tacos. (More salt )
I think I will go to the bank, and when DD gets home load up and take them all to the gym. DD could really use the exercise, and so can I. I need to sweat out all that water I'm holding from dinner last night. I will feel better then. Oh yea!
I also cancelled thanksgiving dinner at my house. To mush temptation, and not enough people willing to do what needs to be done to pull it off. I actually said NO to something. This must mean I'm getting OLD!

 

[tlgoblue]

First thing's first. Went to fit day and checked how my basal/lifestyle calorie needs matched up against what I am doing.
It says I need 2609 a day. That seems like a lot. I have standing work as my lifestyle, which contributes 1200 calories to my daily need. I think that is too much. I don't think my metabloisim is that high. I'm figuring I need about 2200 tops.
With that in mind, so far I've eaten about 370 calories today. I've also burned abour 150 during my workout. This leaves me with a net burn by days end of 2200+150-370=1980. So that means I can have whatever I want for dinner! Not really. I'm going to have a snack of about 100 calories and them will have a typical dinner fo about 500 calories. That puts my net burn at 1300 calories. That is still too much isn't it? That works out to 9000 calories a week and about 2.3 pounds. That is too much, though I think I could do it because I don't get hungry on that amount of food. Shoot! I need to eat about 1700 calories a day to lose weight in a healthy fashion. That's 500/meal with two 100 calorie snacks. I don't think I can do this. That means I should have already had 1000 calories, and I've had <400. I need 600 more calories plus dinner? UGH! Man I need some perspective on this and maybe some counseling!

 

[DoeWDW]

Tracy, here's a for you! I know you're struggling right now to not let this take over your life. I'm worried about you. I do think you're doing some very healthy things, like using Fitday to see how many calories you should be eating.

You are just so incredibly focused on this right now. Please know that you are more than a number on the scale or a clothing size. Your body and your looks do not tell the whole story.

Don't forget to focus on the personality traits that make you a good person and on your skills and talents that you can share with the world. These are more important than your looks. Beauty is truly only skin deep - it's what's in your heart that makes Tracy a special person.

You have given so much to others on this board. You are always ready and willing to help others. You have a wonderful positive attitude and a great sense of humor. These are the things we love about you.

Please continue to find a healthy perspective. If the path is too tough on your own, consider counseling. Having someone objective listen to you can be incredibly helpful - I know from experience!

Take care of you, OK? I really like having you around here! :happy1:

 

[tlgoblue]

Here's how yesterday went.
After my 370 for lunch and brekky, I added an Odwalla bar for 240, and I had my roast pork for 220, a half of a baked sweet potato at 230 and applesauce for 130 and poached pear for 130 and 2 glasses of wine. That adds up to about 1460 for the day! I went to the gym with DH and walked for 20 mins at a very slow pace. Didn't sleep well last night because DM called and got me all upset about everything! (She wonders why I never call her!)

Anyway, my plan for today is same brekky, and then I have no plan. I need to go to the market to get all my fresh ingredients for tomorrow, clean up the joint, go to DD's school, lunch with DH and probably have left over pork roast for dinner tonight. (The rebels will be taking up arms! My family hates leftovers, even if the original dish brought rave reviews!) Anyway, yesterday wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and I was up all night getting rid of some water, and that will be good when I put on my pants, this morning. I should do some sort of exercise today, but I probably won't get to it. I will try though.

OK! OK! I went to Hooter's today for lunch! I had a huge garden salad and 3 wings and iced tea. I figure it reuns about 60 calories per wing and 120 for the salad dressing and the greens surely are a negligible amount, so say 30 tops. So add 330 to todays total for 570 so far. I'll have a snack later and pretty much a repeat of last night for dinner, which should put me again around 1400-1500. Haven't got to exercise yet. Must drink more water.

 

[tlgoblue]

Well, maintenance is the word for today. That's OK considering I have not exercised in a week, at least not that I remember. I have been trying to tweak my food consumption and have been feeling yucky with TOM, so I've been not getting it all done. Anyway, TOM is on its way out and a WI on day five of cycle is a really good indicator. That means 147 is here to stay. No more 150s. Now if I just get back to exercising, I could get to my mini gaol of 145 by Christmas, and I know I can maintain throughout the holidays, since I managed to do so with the Turkey day and Halloween. Who knows? I may even have a whoosh once I get back to exercising. I promise not to over do, and under eat. I just think that with my metabolism hopefully being kick started again, and exercise, I should see some results.

So far, my meals have been similar to what I was eating, but just a bit more on the portion size. I no longer only eat a few bites and wait to see if I'm still hungry or not. (I've gotten pretty good a fooling myself into thinking I'm not that hungry, and walk around for an hour or 2 enjoying hunger pains! ) Now I measure my portions and eat it all. I'm usually stuffed, and feel like I over ate, but so far not to the point where I think I need to "get rid of it", to put it politely.

All in all, I think I'm doing well. Sometimes I want to go to the gym for the entire day. Today, I did do my pilates and then 35 mins of cardio. On the way out, I really wanted to turn around and go back in, since I had, by that time, stopped panting and sweating. But I kept walking, and came home for a big salad loaded with walnuts, dried cherries, avocado, tomato, cucks, red onions, and Roasted pepper dressing. Haven't the slightest Idea how many calories that was, but I'll bet it was close to 500. I'm making Spaghetti tonight, so that will put me up around 1400 calories for the day. I think that is a good place for me, combined with exercise.

Scale is still in the basement, so I think I will start weighing in weekly at the gym, as I do need to lose some more weight. It should not be a problem, but I will keep my head in the right place.