The power of prayer is an amazing thing.. It has allowed me to accept whatever my brother chooses to do and has taken away any anger I had towards him last night..
Somewhere in the process of being on my knees I had one of those "Ah ha" moments when it dawned on me that funerals are for the living - not the dead.. There is obviously a "need" that my brother (and my sister) have to fill - however my need was filled on Monday - when Mom's soul left this earth.. I'm sure that whatever they do will bring them great comfort -and it's not for me to stand in the way of their closure..
Last night I was looking at photos of my mom at my younger brothers service and it was so sad to see how bewildered she was.. Not knowing where she was, who was in the coffin, or why all of these "strangers" (us) were trying to comfort her.. So - I looked further back into my photos - when Mom was still "here" - photos of her with my DGD; photos of her at my house on Christmas; a photo of her with me and both of my DD's.. That's the way I want to remember her - along with the memories of her last day on earth with her baby doll - and that is how I will remember her.. My wish for my brother & sister is that they have their needs met tomorrow and it goes as smoothly for them as they're hoping..
So today I'm fine - and tomorrow I will be praying for my brother & sister..
There is no therapist greater than God.. My prayers were answered and now life goes on..
Thank you for your words of kindness..
I pray for you to be able to hold onto the good things you posted here. It sounds like you had some wonderful moments with your mom, including the gift of witnessing her passing. No one can take those from you, no matter how dreadfully they may behave.
And, a little story that hopefully will make you at least smile about someone taking over a funeral.
My sister has 3 children from her first marriage and first DH remarried. The youngest child was in about first grade when their dad remarried and all are young adults now. Their dad's second wife died recently, very suddenly and the 3 children came to support their dad and help with the funeral arrangements.
The dad was in shock and the wife's family just bulldozed themselves into arranging everything. Before the children arrived, the wife's family grabbed most of her clothes to pick a dress from, took a bunch of picture albums and framed pictures, took her computer (said they needed it to 'shut down her facebook' - which is actually still up) and her new phone (said they needed it to get phone numbers to notify her friends, but no friends were called).
They arranged the funeral in their town (because 'she is our family and we know she would have wanted that', which was about an hour away, picked out flowers, all parts of the ceremony, etc., including the dress, which turned out to be one the deceased woman had not liked.
The children and DH were excluded from everything.
There was a table full of pictures at the memorial service. My nieces had not looked at it, but many people came up to them and said M----- had looked so happy and well in the pictures with the children when they were younger; especially in one of the pictures that showed the whole family.
When my nieces went over to look at the pictures, they had a hard time not laughing - many of the pictures on display were not them with M-----, but them with their mom (who really looks nothing like M------!
So, the people who said they knew her best messed up everything, including the pictures at her memorial service.
(I think their true intentions were shown when they left with the box of memorial cards people had left at the funeral).
I'm glad this grief has kept your sense of humour intact! I laughed out loud when I read that.
Oh there is no excuse for what he said. No excuse at all. 
You know what? I read about your Mom's final passing and the love between you and her was so obvious, it came right through the screen. 
Focus on what you had with your Mom C.Ann. That bond still exists and your memories will get you through. 
