tiggerfan1
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2007
- Messages
- 2,859
Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!

Dear Vince,
I can't thank you enough for inventing the Slap Chop. It has changed my life. When my Slap Chop arrived in the mail, I was thrilled. I've been slapping my troubles away ever since. Never again will I have to cry while cutting onions. Like you said in the commercial, "Life's hard enough. Don't cry anymore." You are so wise. I don't know how I ever got through life without the Slap Chop.
You'll be happy to hear that I've been making a lot of one-slap salads. I've slapped myself down to a size 2. You really are helping to make America skinny again, one slap at a time. Kudos to you, Vince.

I'm also proud to report that I've had a tuna sandwich every day since I got the Slap Chop, each sandwich more un-boring than the last. I've slapped all kinds of things into my tuna sandwich -- onions, pickles, celery, olives, bacon, anchovies, popcorn, jelly beans, Oreos, Cap'n Crunch, M&Ms, and a piece of chocolate cake. I bought some Girl Scout cookies today. I think that I'll try those next. By this time tomorrow, I'll have made a tuna and Do-Si-Do sandwich. Mmmmm! I can't wait!
Well, I'd better get back to Slap Chopping. I'm making a pizza and I want to slap a heap of veggies on it like you told us to. See, I was listening!

From your #1 fan in the State of Confusion,
Tiggerfan1