I was the victim of a carjacking/attempted kidnapping almost 30 years ago, and that experience colors everything about how I live my life in public. Not much of it is any kind of thought-out safety plan: it's probably 80% trusting my instincts for self-preservation and 20% chronic PTSD. The short version of the story is that a man I didn't recognize came up to my car window, my door was unlocked, he violently tried to shove me over into the passenger seat, I fought my way out with no memory at all of how, and he took off with my car.
The not-so-great takeaway from that experience is constant vigilance and surveillance: I am ludicrously aware of my surroundings and expend an awful lot of mental energy watching people's movements/expressions. I notice things most don't, for better or for worse. I knew something wasn't right with that car situation - there were many red flags before I was in the danger zone, but didn't trust my instincts. I do now and I simply remove myself immediately from any situation that feels wrong. And yes, I lock my car (and home, and hotel room) doors IMMEDIATELY upon entering a vehicle.
The good takeaway is that I DID get out, even if I don't remember how. I was bruised and sore after, so I know I had to fight, and I take comfort in knowing that I did: I'm not one who freezes. (As evidenced in an active shooter drill at work, in which I blacked out and am told I threw a mug at the head of the pretend attacker and used the distraction to run from the room. I no longer participate in those drills. Thanks PTSD?!) My honest view is that you can take precautions, and you can fight like hell, and there's still an element of luck involved in how things turn out. It infuriates me when attacks happen and the messaging immediately turns to how women should change their behavior, rather than what should be done to stop the perpetrators.
I'm truthfully more worried about a run-in with a coyote, alligator, rabid raccoon, or loose dog, or the statistically very probable possibility of being hit by a car, than being abducted on a run. I wear a sharp self-protection ring thing in the dark, only because I can't see as far in the dark to notice danger as early as in the light and I know I'll stab first, ask questions later, if attacked by anything. I wear a headlamp so I can see an area a few yards around me in spots without streetlights. I leave a note at home saying where I'll be running and when I expect to be home. I've got a number of safe spots identified on my routes, so I know where to run from various spots if I feel threatened. The luck part comes in the form of a neighborhood with lots of foot and vehicle traffic, plenty of sidewalks, dense residential and commercial buildings, and a bunch of people I don't technically "know", but who I see regularly on my runs and their walks/runs/bike rides and trust I can summon for help.
A story about how to make others feel UNsafe... as I was running in the dark one evening, lit up with blinky lights and headlamp, in a parking lot that abuts a road, a car traveling the opposite side of the road crossed to my side and slowed next to me. I moved over into the parking lot far enough to feel safe and the man driving rolled down his window - I recognized him as a non-threat neighbor. He - sitting there on the wrong side of a 2-way road, told me "a young lady like you" shouldn't be out in the dark because it's "not safe!" I smiled and told him "men like you shouldn't slow down to stalk a female in the dark in a concealed carry state!" He blinked da couple times, rolled up his window and drove off. Message received. (I don't actually carry BTW - but I'm willing to bet plenty of others do around here.)
