The Random Thread and the Royal Family of Canadia, the USA, and Great Britain

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... [A piece of debris from his house falls on his head] I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest four-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
[A TV falls on the ground]
Announcer: Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest three-way...
Squidward: Four-way!
Announcer: ...four-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to...
Patrick: [changes the channel] I hate this channel.
Squidward: No, NO! [changes it back]
Announcer: ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: This city needs to be destroyed! ... Or at least painted a different colour.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

You're QUITE welcome!

Agh I can't stop thinking about it

 

[AmandaSparks730]

SpongeBob: What did you wish for?
Mr. Krabs: A pony.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mr. Krabs: With saddlebags full of money!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Agh I can't stop thinking about it

Hey, it made you laugh, did it not?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

P.A. Announcer: Attention all Zoo patrons, Clamu the Sea Oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.

I'd pay to hear that at a store/WDW/wherever.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: Okay now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?
Plankton: Do instruments of torture count?
Squidward: No.
Patrick: [raises hand] Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Squidward: No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
[Patrick raises his hand again]
Squidward: Horseradish is not an instrument either.
[Patrick puts his hand down]
Squidward: That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you! [starts laughing, then gradually stops]
Mr. Krabs: When do we get the free food?

 

[wdwllamadancer]

cutest gif ever.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

[Patrick pries open the door from the outside after a big brawl with Sandy]
Patrick: Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.
[Patrick enters, revealing his head has been shoved through a trombone]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties...it happened.
SpongeBob: He forgot the secret sauce?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: He didn't wash his hands?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Irregular portions?
Squidward: NO! He cut off his own hand by mistake!
SpongeBob: You mean like this? [pulls out his arm, and another one grows back] Or this? [repeats] Or this? But what about this? Or this? Or this?
Squidward: Except he wasn't a sponge.
SpongeBob: So?
Squidward: SO THEY DIDN'T GROW BACK!!
SpongeBob: [he and his arms that were pulled out jump in fear] OHH NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! [arms run away]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

[Squidward is telling the story of the Hash-Slinging Slasher]
Squidward: So now, every-- what day is it?
SpongeBob: Tuesday.
Squidward: TUESDAY NIGHT, his ghost returns to the Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible vengeance!

 

[DisGirlAllie]

cutest gif ever.

That's adorable

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: [nervously] Okay, what was it? There was the lights, [lights flicker] the phone, [phone rings] and... [turns around to see green ooze coming from the walls] THE WALLS WILL OOZE GREEN SLIME?! Oh wait, they always do that.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

P.A. Announcer: Attention all Zoo patrons, Clamu the Sea Oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.

I'd pay to hear that at a store/WDW/wherever.

Agreed

 

[AmandaSparks730]

SpongeBob: Hello customers. Nice [dolphin chirps] day we're having, huh?
Sailor: [gasps] Did he just say...
Pirate: Aye, he did.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, how the [dolphin chirps] are ya?
Patrick: Pretty [dolphin chirps] good SpongeBob.

 

[I Am What I Am]

Oh you must share this GIF with your chillens.

This is just...so entertaining.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

This is just...so entertaining.

I love the one dropping trou in the background

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Squidward: Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
SpongeBob: I have no talent.
Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
SpongeBob: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
SpongeBob: If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

SpongeBob: [trying to get Squidward to eat a Krabby Patty] If you try it, you'll love it!
Squidward: Try one of those radioactive sludge balls you call food? Next, I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with Patrick!
SpongeBob: [to Patrick, who is dressed as a cowboy] Sorry, Patrick.
[Patrick whimpers and walks away]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Patrick: You had it set to M for Mini, [turns the M upside-down], when it should be set to W for Wumbo!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think Wumbo is a real word.
Patrick: Come on, you know. I Wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, me, wumbo, wumbo, wumboing, I'll have three wumbo, wumbora, wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade, SpongeBob!
Squidward: [while Patrick is still talking] I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.