So, you guys are always so nice and complimentary about my cooking. I love telling you about the things I make. Every once in a while though, things go wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. And that is what this story is about.
So, I mentioned the menu yesterday, and said that we were opening up the grill for the first time. Off to the store Dsis and I went. First problem--no cornish hens. Fine, we bought chicken instead. Next problem--no ripe mangoes. Fine, we revised the menu and decided to make chicken two ways--one in a pineapple-coconut mango sauce, and one in a sweet chipotle barbeque sauce. I had some ripe avocadoes at home, so we decided that a creamy avocado sauce would be a nice compliment to both types of chicken. Problem solved!
Back to the house, everything is prepped and ready to go. DH turns on the grill and goes off to play wiffle ball with the kids. A few minutes later I hear him calling me to come outside. The grill is leaking gas--a slice in the line or something. Fine. No problem. I live next door to my parents and they are eating with us, so we will just use their grill. Except. Their grill is dead too! It will not stay lit. Fine. Plan C. Into the house to cook everything inside.
At this point, things are starting to get a little chaotic. The kids are starving and I have to get their food ready ASAP. So, rushing around, I sear off Liam's chicken and pop it into the oven. Of course, I then back into the hot frying pan, searing my arm!

Starting to sear off all the other chicken, the house is filling with smoke. Smoke everywhere! DH goes upstairs to get a fan, but decides to stop off for a leisurely bathroom stop!

The house is completely smoke clogged at this point. But, I persevere.
Vidalia onions and corn are searing on my electric griddle, creating more smoke. I think it was at this point that Dsis dropped the parmesean cheese I had grated for the corn into the pan that the chicken had been marinating in.

Can't think about that, though, because the onions are burning to a crisp, and it is time to start the sweet potato fries. Into the fryer with the potatoes. OH NO!!!

The fryer overflows! Oil pouring everywhere, on the counter, on the floor, into the space between the counter and stove...argh, argh, argh!! Did I mention that I cleaned the house yesterday??
So, fries out of the fryer. Oily, soggy, messy fries.

Have to blast them in the oven to get some of the oil out. Onto a broiler pan and into the oven they go. Time for a break. I am ignoring the entire stick of butter that Dsis spilled in the microwave, because darn it, I have to pee! Resting, briefly, in the bathroom, trying to pull myself together, I hear voices. It is DH and Dsis, getting louder and louder. I hear an "Oh no." Then, a "What the heck!" Then, DH, outside the door: "The kitchen is burning and I can't figure out where!!"

Rush out, it is the fries, oil dripping on the oven floor. Fine. Out of the oven, plating things up, I hear a gagging noise. Yes, DH is choking. Thankfully, it was just on water. Time for dinner!!
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I am not cooking today...