The *official* Perfect Parent thread

[barkley]

I just brought my girls (6&3) an alarm clock for their room so they can get up without me dragging them out of bed, so I will have more time to make everything perfect.

let me know how it works out-i currently have to respond to 4 alarms. mine, ds's, dd's, and the 'crackberry' dh insists he sets each night ('in case you oversleep'-yeah that's gonna happen when i have 3 other alarms going off that you guys sleep right through ). i'm waiting for the 'sponge bob' and 'barbie' models that emit a small electric shock to waken the child

 

[Independent]

but by virtue of being on the dis posting at this hour-are'nt we automaticly ineligable? i mean, right now-should'nt we either be homeschooling, volunteering at the school, attending college to become ' perfect kid friendly/parent supporting uber teachers', doing our out of the home or in-home business that only operates during school hours, desantizing the house, monitoring the internet/tv/movies/books for inappropriate content and making our additive free/all natural meals for the family? and if you are posting on this thread and the kids are home-SHAME on you-you should be doing 'well developed, age appropriate activities' or 'having social building playdates, arts enhancing music lesson, self esteem building sports activites...'

You have such valid points!
Although, I am so sad that I once again see the error of my parental skills. I do not come close to achieving all the above mentioned goals.
However, can I use the excuse that I HAVE to DIS so that I learn how to be the perfect parent? I know I am not perfect, but there are so many helpful perfect parents here that I would not be able to recognize my faults if I did not have them pointed out so often.

So, DIS'ing is a must in order to achieve perfect parenting

I strive to one day to learn the lessons here to be so perfect that I too can take time out of my perfect day (with absolute validity as my kids are so perfect they can be without me for a few hours) to post expert lessons for the masses of imperfect parents on how to be perfect parents

 

[TurboKitty]

Oh look another clique I can't join!

FTR, my DS wears Heelys, has a N64, a Gamecube, an Xbox, a gameboy SP, a Gameboy DS*, a MySpace account, a cell phone and routinuely wears sarcastic t-shirts. He also often sees his own father in funny gross humor type t-shirts on the weekends. He's the typically developing child, though rather unworldly, sensitive and naive for a 12 year old boy.

DD on the other hand. She not yet continent, pretty much completely non-verbal. She's learning and using some sign language....

Guess I really messed up. I cancelled cable after the rates went up just after DD was born and never bothered to get it again, even now 8 years later. Or, I'm sure it's still somehow my fault.

* He's saved up all summer and pooled that with his birthday money to buy yet another video platform, he NEEDS a Ds Lite now.

 

[barkley]

catch ya'll later-this 'perfect parent' has to finish cooking vegitarian spagetti sauce/pasta (with tofu meat ), garlic bread and grab dessert& drinks (no caffinated-sugar free ) for 28 students and teachers (lord i'm glad i only have to be 'hot lunch mom' twice a year).

 

[ckay87]

I use cloth diapers - I was told that makes me ineligible for the Bad Parents' Club...

Yep that was me

You are a perfect parent if you lovingly launder diapies. Well...ok...maybe you're just an environmentally-friendly-parent!

I competed so passionately in the crappy parents thread of last week, I need to get out of here now. No place for me here - I screw up daily.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I competed so passionately in the crappy parents thread of last week, I need to get out of here now. No place for me here - I screw up daily.

Yes you gave it a good try but the winner worked much harder at being the crappiest parent and truely deserved the title.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I don't belong - DK's have TV's in their rooms So they don't disturb me when I'm watching "Mommy's favorites shows".

 

[curiouser]

Wow! Thanks to THE DIS© when I have kids I WILL be the perfect mom!

They will always have early bedtimes, eat perfectly measured portions according to the Food Pyramid, and have plenty of exercise. I will make sure their rooms have tvs and dvd players and stereos, but I will carry them out when they come home from school so they don't "rot their brain".

We will never pool hop, mug re-use, lie about our children's ages, abuse the dining plan, make fun of those with special love for certain characters, cut off people with the stroller, pee on the toliet seat, bring in a rolling backpack or wear Heelys.

I will make sure my kid is picked for the parade, wakes Tink, dines with Cindrella AND Mickey (all in the same day), stays at GF (Presidential Suite!), opens the park, rides Barnstormer with Goofy, AND stays up for ALL of MK's 3am EMH (after a nap, of course).

With help from THE DIS© my child will be so well behaved s/he'll be the first toddler personally invited into Victora & Alberts. WITHOUT A COAT AND TIE!!!

 

[CEDmom]

I let my 7 year old have strawberry gatorade and dry froot loops for breakfast this morning, will that make me unwelcome here?

I pretty sure froot is on the food pyramid somewhere .

DD tells me I'm the bestest mommy in the world whenever I give her what she wants. Of course the other 99.9% of the time she mutters "mean mommy" under her breath .

 

[JadenLayne]

Humm I'm taking my 15 year old out of 9th grade in two weeks to go PLAY AT DISNEY for over a week...........oh and he said Hell the other day and I laughed. Guess I can't join either.

Oh and I pushed him into the pool at Wilderness Lodge when we were saying at Pop because he wanted to swim in their pool. He also had all his clothes on!

 

[va32h]

Oh for goodness' sake.

Anyone who expresses any opinion on any parenting issue is not de facto declaring themselves a perfect parent.

right now-should'nt we either be homeschooling, volunteering at the school, attending college to become ' perfect kid friendly/parent supporting uber teachers', doing our out of the home or in-home business that only operates during school hours, desantizing the house, monitoring the internet/tv/movies/books for inappropriate content and making our additive free/all natural meals for the family? -snip - doing 'well developed, age appropriate activities' or 'having social building playdates, arts enhancing music lesson, self esteem building sports activites..

Are any of those things, in and of themselves, intrinsically bad?

Yes, it's terribly amusing to make fun of parents who take themselves too seriously (and I have done it too).

But there is nothing wrong with having standards, and wanting to live up to them. I know that when I screw up as a mom, I'm not proud of myself. Those are the moments I cry about, and pray about, and demand of myself that I do better.

I don't aspire to be a crappy parent, and I don't understand why it is considered so hilariously funny and cool to be one.

The only people in any position to judge anyone's parenting are their own children - and we won't get the real verdict from them until they are grown and have their own families.

 

[Missy1961]

OK, not a parent, so I really shouldn't be here, right?

But I really wanted to say my parents wouldn't belong here either. My mother gave us formula, when we were kids they smoked, we didn't use seat belts or bicycle helmets, they let us have TVs in our rooms, gave us soda & candy. But they must have done something right: my older brother is a doctor, I'm an editor, my other brother is a doctor, my sister is a lawyer, next sister is a social worker & baby sister is a physical therapist. And oh yeah, we all like each other, visit each other all the time, and 4 of them are married (each over 10 years), no divorces, and lots of kids. And the grandkids are pretty good too!

 

[katerkat]

Yep that was me

You are a perfect parent if you lovingly launder diapies. Well...ok...maybe you're just an environmentally-friendly-parent!

Nah, I'm just a cheap mommy. I spent $200 on his diapers and he's been wearing them since last September. Can't beat that! And trust me - I wouldn't do it if it wasn't very, very easy to wash them nowadays. Nothing like what my mom used.

 

[mrsltg]

Oh for goodness' sake.

Anyone who expresses any opinion on any parenting issue is not de facto declaring themselves a perfect parent.



Are any of those things, in and of themselves, intrinsically bad?

Yes, it's terribly amusing to make fun of parents who take themselves too seriously (and I have done it too).

But there is nothing wrong with having standards, and wanting to live up to them. I know that when I screw up as a mom, I'm not proud of myself. Those are the moments I cry about, and pray about, and demand of myself that I do better.

I don't aspire to be a crappy parent, and I don't understand why it is considered so hilariously funny and cool to be one.

The only people in any position to judge anyone's parenting are their own children - and we won't get the real verdict from them until they are grown and have their own families.

Because sometimes you have to laugh at yourself. If I didn't laugh I'd cry. The day my baby turned blue in the backseat after I gave her a cracker I wasn't laughing. I was on the side of the road with my baby on my thigh doing everything in my power to remain calm and handle the situation. When she began coughing up blood I wasn't laughing. When the fire truck pulled up I didn't laugh. When she was in the ambulance I didn't laugh. When I thought of what could have happened because I fed her in a car (like a moron) I wanted to die. So, I laugh now because if I didn't I would cry a river. She's fine and I learned a valuable lesson first hand. Same with all of the other "oops" moments I've had as a mom. Yeah, it's ok to share our less than stellar moments. We're all human.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't belong - DK's have TV's in their rooms So they don't disturb me when I'm watching "Mommy's favorites shows".

At one point, DS actually thought that HE was looking forward to watching Desperate Housewives!!! I don't want to even mention King of the Hill!!!

 

[chobie]

Nah, I'm just a cheap mommy. I spent $200 on his diapers and he's been wearing them since last September. Can't beat that! And trust me - I wouldn't do it if it wasn't very, very easy to wash them nowadays. Nothing like what my mom used.

Well since you're being honest... that's the main reason I breastfed...IT WAS FREE!!!!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

Wow! Thanks to THE DIS© when I have kids I WILL be the perfect mom!

They will always have early bedtimes, eat perfectly measured portions according to the Food Pyramid, and have plenty of exercise. I will make sure their rooms have tvs and dvd players and stereos, but I will carry them out when they come home from school so they don't "rot their brain".

We will never pool hop, mug re-use, lie about our children's ages, abuse the dining plan, make fun of those with special love for certain characters, cut off people with the stroller, pee on the toliet seat, bring in a rolling backpack or wear Heelys.

I will make sure my kid is picked for the parade, wakes Tink, dines with Cindrella AND Mickey (all in the same day), stays at GF (Presidential Suite!), opens the park, rides Barnstormer with Goofy, AND stays up for ALL of MK's 3am EMH (after a nap, of course).

With help from THE DIS© my child will be so well behaved s/he'll be the first toddler personally invited into Victora & Alberts. WITHOUT A COAT AND TIE!!!

\

You also will never have your Cats declawed ( oh wait thats another board i visit sorry) LOL

 

[mamacatnv]

Since my darling honor student DS spent last semester on academic contract because he is lazy and too busy on MySpace to get his work done I guess I don't belong here either.

 

[katerkat]

Well since you're being honest... that's the main reason I breastfed...IT WAS FREE!!!!!!

Oh, yeah - same reason I breastfed. I'm too cheap to buy formula!

 

[noodleknitter]

Well since you're being honest... that's the main reason I breastfed...IT WAS FREE!!!!!!

It was free...and you didn't have to heat the suckers up! ...no pun intended.

We used cloth diapers, though...until my inlaws quit paying for the service!

In all honesty, I love being a mom, and trying to do the best I can for my kids, but I had 7, and that was 7 manuals they forgot to give me. I had 2 late-talking tiptoers, 2 that didn't learn to read until they were 7, 1 who is and always will be an enigma.

I've cried my way through labor pains, childbirth, nursing, illness, fear, monsters, bullies, test anxiety, college acceptances and refusals. It is just plain hard to be a mom. Screwing up is a part of the job descriptions, which means the job description is just plain poorly written.

We all came from different homes with different traumas, stressors and concerns, and all survived or better. That means to me that there isn't just one way to do it right...