The New Kinder, Gentler Me - The Rubber Chicken is Loose!! Pg 19/#283!!!

Jo, go rent the movie "Valley Girl" with Nicholas Cage. It's an old 80's movie, but it'll help you understand "Valley" talk. It's a riot!:happytv:

Have you ever seen the show "The O.C." They speak my native language, :rotfl: Valley/OC dialect.
have to check them out and learn the lingo :thumbsup2
 
Oh - I'm sorry Jo - I thought I put the name of the Bill Cosby movie in there. It's called "Himself"...
 
Ok, so where in the world was I???:confused3

Ah yes, dancing naked in the airport bathroom...

Well, not me...Michael...:rolleyes1

Anywhooo....

I dried his underwear and told him they were ready...he was still barracaded in the handicap stall, in his socks and Mickey pirate ears hat. WHERE in the world was my camera?!??! Note to self...request Photopass at Sanford airport...:rolleyes1

Drying the undies was the easy part...his jeans were soaked thru, as was his shirt, and even the little pirate bandana on his hat was wet. What to do, what to do...

I did what every responsible mother would do of course...

I saved the hat...

I rinsed the soda out, which had already begun to stain the bandana, and dried that first. Priorities, my friends. Gotta have 'em. Am I right, or am I right? I give him back his hat and he is happy. Good as new. Almost.

Then to the daunting task of trying to dry the pants...if any of you were wondering, it takes a good half hour to even attempt to dry denim under these electric dryers, and they didn't even come out dry...they were warmly damp, like freshly peed-in warm.

Finally I said to Michael that this wasn't working...we'd have to go to the gift shop and see if they had any sweatpants or something and get back to Daddy. He Who Doesn't Travel Well must be seething right about now...

With that, I continue to attempt to dry the pants and behind me I hear "OK" and then I hear....GASP...the slamming of the bathroom door...

:eek:

I turn around and I'm alone. Holding the clothes of my son. I check the handicap stall - he's not there. I check the others...nope, not there either!:scared1:

OH.

MY...

GOD....

I gather up all of our things and go flying out of the bathroom door and run straight into Michael, frozen like a statue, in his underwear, socks and pirate hat...in the middle of the airport...

He must've realized he had no clothes on and just freaked. Froze. Like a deer caught in headlights....

Luckily no one screamed.

No one called Child Protective Services.

Not even security.:confused3

Nope.

No one paid him any mind at all.

Just ignored him. In his underwear. This half-naked-rubber-chicken didn't even raise an eyebrow! PHEW!!

I grabbed him and dragged him back into the bathroom like nothing ever happened...:rolleyes1

I gave him his "they're dry enough" pants back and went to work quickly on the shirt, both of us agreeing to never speak of this again...

Although, secretly, I cannot wait to tell this story at his rehearsal dinner in front of his lovely bride-to-be's family!!:lmao:

Finally he was fully dressed and we were on our way out the door...

We looked around and found DH still sitting at the table where this whole catastrophe began. Michael was still thirsty, poor little guy, but was afraid to sit in the same chair again.

So he sat in the other one....

CRASH.....BANG....

Down he went....AGAIN...luckily, DH managed to save the soda....

Poor Michael's pride to a real whallop that day my friends...

DH, still in his He Who Doesn't Travel Well persona opened his mouth wide and I cut him off...It's these chairs!! NOT A WORD!!

Luckily, he shut up.

We decided it'd be best to head to the gate so we started walking.

Where we came upon Wilson and Kinston, who'd made a whole new group of friends. There was quite the crowd around them. I poked my head through the crowd and made sure the girls were ok and if either one of them needed a potty break and they assured me they were fine. Ok, see you on the plane!

And off we continued to our gate...

Where we heard....

HEY!! MICHAEL!!! How was Disney World????

I had no idea who these new people were, but apparently they were on our flight down and remembered my chatty little man.

Who gave them the lowdown on his weekend...

Daddy was sick.
Me and mommy got real, live pixie dust.
We rode BTMR THREE times!
I went on Test Track again!

Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey....:sad2:

We continued on to find a few seats and there were Michael's new friends from the patio...I'll call them Mr & Mrs Allentown. Why? They were headed to Allentown.

Michael cozied right up to the Allentowns and caught them up on what they'd missed since he'd seen them last...long time, no see you know...

Mr. Allentown's eyes glazed over as soon as Michael started talking, but Mrs. Allentown couldn't get enough of him....she really seemed to enjoy his company. At one point she informed me that she now knew what street we lived on, the name of his school, his teacher's name, his favorite rides at Disney World...Note to self, call ADT and make sure security system works...and have Michael re-watch the "Safe Side" video...:rolleyes1

Finally the Allentown's got a lucky break and had to go catch their plane. Michael stood there for a moment and you could see him scanning the room - looking for his next new friend...

And the lucky winners are..

A sweet, unsuspecting family heading back to NC too...

And here we go again....Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey...

This time, Michael matured a lot in his conversation and schooled the family on the in's and out's of Disney World...he told them all about his recent trips...the hotels he's stayed at...how many times he's ridden TT...and when the family told him they didn't ride that, he gasped like they should be ashamed of themselves and turned around to me...MOM...can you believe they have NEVER been on Test Track? He turned to them and said well did you ride the train roller coaster? No they said. He gasped again. MOM...can you believe....and then he turned around and asked if they did something else - the safari ride I think and they said no and he very loudly said DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING at Disney World??? All of a sudden they looked ashamed of themselves...it was their first trip...they came for the weekend and didn't do much of anything...it was so big, there was so much walking...

Pathetic I tell you...even the Kinder, Gentler Me could do more in a half day at the Magic Kingdom than they did in 3 days. This is done by professionals only folks! Don't try this at home...

There really was no stopping Michael though...he told them about every park and every ride and what to see and do....

They started to glaze over soon enough and even the kids grew tired of listening...

Jeffrey, Jeffrey....OH GO AWAY JEFFREY!!!

Time for bed gang...

Up next...Goodbye Michael!! And will anyone ever show up to claim Wilson???
 
:rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: What can I say... I had to set my ice cream down I was laughing so hard! And of course DH walked through the room wondering what in the heck was I reading, so of course I had to read it to him. WHich I could barely do because I was laughing so hard.

The poor kid....
 

:lmao: :lmao: Lauralee I've said this so many times but you are just incredibly funny :rotfl2: Poor Michael I can so picture him standing there with the deer description :laughing: And remind me to bring my ear plugs if we meet up with Michael in August J/K he sounds great fun just not sitting next to me on the 9 hour flight home :lmao:
 
Glad you are feeling better. I am so afraid of being sick on vacation, but I think I had that sickness in February-so I am going with my assumption and sticking to it.

I'm hoping you guys made it home-ok.
 
I did what every responsible mother would do of course...

I saved the hat...
I would expect nothing less. ;)

Then to the daunting task of trying to dry the pants...if any of you were wondering, it takes a good half hour to even attempt to dry denim under these electric dryers, and they didn't even come out dry...they were warmly damp, like freshly peed-in warm.
Yep, I do know about this one. Except it wasn't my DS" pants, they were MY pants. After an unfortunate and unprovoked central FL rainstorm. WDW could stand to invest in some higher powered dryers, IMHO.

With that, I continue to attempt to dry the pants and behind me I hear "OK" and then I hear....GASP...the slamming of the bathroom door...

:eek:

I turn around and I'm alone. Holding the clothes of my son. I check the handicap stall - he's not there. I check the others...nope, not there either!:scared1:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Luckily no one screamed.

No one called Child Protective Services.

Not even security.:confused3

Nope.

No one paid him any mind at all.

Just ignored him. In his underwear. This half-naked-rubber-chicken didn't even raise an eyebrow! PHEW!!
WELCOME to Florida! :rotfl2:

Mr. Allentown's eyes glazed over as soon as Michael started talking, but Mrs. Allentown couldn't get enough of him....she really seemed to enjoy his company. At one point she informed me that she now knew what street we lived on, the name of his school, his teacher's name, his favorite rides at Disney World...Note to self, call ADT and make sure security system works...and have Michael re-watch the "Safe Side" video...:rolleyes1
And we worry about internet stalkers...

Pathetic I tell you...even the Kinder, Gentler Me could do more in a half day at the Magic Kingdom than they did in 3 days. This is done by professionals only folks! Don't try this at home...
Seriously, I can't believe, in this day and age, people still hit The World compoletely uninformed and unprepared. :sad2: Light-weights.

Up next...Goodbye Michael!! And will anyone ever show up to claim Wilson???

UH-OH! :scared1:
 
you are such a great storyteller. I am really having a blast with your trip report. I still manage to fall over my chair and drop soda all over myself... and I am 30 :rotfl2:
 
I dried his underwear and told him they were ready...he was still barracaded in the handicap stall, in his socks and Mickey pirate ears hat. WHERE in the world was my camera?!??!

That would have been a great Sr. Photo/Wedding memory picture!

I turn around and I'm alone. Holding the clothes of my son. I check the handicap stall - he's not there. I check the others...nope, not there either!:scared1:

OH.

MY...

GOD....

I gather up all of our things and go flying out of the bathroom door and run straight into Michael, frozen like a statue, in his underwear, socks and pirate hat...in the middle of the airport...
No...he didn't! :eek:

That is a classic! NEVER...I mean EVER forget this! He is just a little gem...naked and all!
 
OMG, Lauralee!! That was hysterical!! :rotfl2:
I can't even begin to multi-quote that one, as the ENTIRE installment with too funny! Poor Michael! I love the deer in the headlights!! :rotfl:
You are back and as funny as ever! :banana:

I know it's coming to a end, but I also know another trip is on the horizon...it's never too early to start that pre-trippie! ;)
 
:lmao: I think I know why your stories are so good...


Most people totally leave the embarrassing stuff out!


Thank you Lauralee, for an incredibly wonderful look into your world once again~

:worship:
 
WHOO HOOOOOOOO.......GO MICHAEL........YEAH BAAAAAABY!:woohoo: Nothin' like doing a little streakin' to close out another great Disney trip! So, does grumpy ol' dad know this happened?

That story is just TOO HILARIOUS!!!:rotfl2: :lmao:

I can't laugh anymore.....my sides are killing me.:rotfl:

Glad you're feeling better.:thumbsup2 Unfortunately it's hit our family. Ryan's been home sick from school for the last three days, and now I think the rest of us are coming down with it too.:sick:
 
:lmao: I think I know why your stories are so good...


Most people totally leave the embarrassing stuff out!


Thank you Lauralee, for an incredibly wonderful look into your world once again~

:worship:

Thanks Colleen!! I'm all about hanging my :laundy: for everyone to see!!:lmao:
 
WHOO HOOOOOOOO.......GO MICHAEL........YEAH BAAAAAABY!:woohoo: Nothin' like doing a little streakin' to close out another great Disney trip! So, does grumpy ol' dad know this happened?

That story is just TOO HILARIOUS!!!:rotfl2: :lmao:

I can't laugh anymore.....my sides are killing me.:rotfl:

Glad you're feeling better.:thumbsup2 Unfortunately it's hit our family. Ryan's been home sick from school for the last three days, and now I think the rest of us are coming down with it too.:sick:

Nope...I haven't told him...it's been our little secret :rolleyes1

I have been thinking about it though. I'm sure enough time has passed that he'll think it's funny...

Or will he...Hmmmm.....

Sorry to hear you guys are all sick...get better soon!!:hippie:
 
OMG, Lauralee!! That was hysterical!! :rotfl2:
I can't even begin to multi-quote that one, as the ENTIRE installment with too funny! Poor Michael! I love the deer in the headlights!! :rotfl:
You are back and as funny as ever! :banana:

I know it's coming to a end, but I also know another trip is on the horizon...it's never too early to start that pre-trippie! ;)

I'm going to start my pre-trippie...real soon...pinkie-swear....
 
WTHeckles???? PAGE 2????:sad2:

Uh-uh.... I don't think so.... BIG OL' BUMP FOR YA! :dance3:
 
Hmmmm....it's been a while...where were we? Ah yes, the airport...everyone in Sanford Airport now knows ALL about us. Nothing left to hide...right down to our street name, DH & my first names...you name it. Michael has taught newbies the correct way to tour the World, complete with Fastpass instructions!

He was still pretty chatty during the actual plane ride...Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey...just not as "out of his mind" as on the ride down. It was a quick, smooth ride and we were back in NC in no time.

It was cold and dreary...not at all a good day.

The plane was pretty full on the way back and luggage took a while to come out. Kinston, who had been her constant companion, had no checked luggage so she was gone as soon as they unloaded us.

Wilson, however, had still yet remained "unclaimed". She sat quietly. Alone. Waiting for her luggage. DH & I decided that as soon as the bags came out we'd get her taken care of and wait with her until her family arrives. She couldn't take care of her own luggage any more than she could nail Jello to a tree.

Everything she owned was in her bags. How someone could just drop her off like they did blows my mind. She was 80 lbs soaking wet and no lie - her luggage weighed more than her.

And sure enough, here we are and she's alone again. Where's this big veterinarian son of hers?? :confused3
 












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