Hi, NeverSayNever!
I am by no means an expert, but I'll give you what info. I can, and bump this up for those more GF-knowledgeable than me.
The pictures you likely saw posted were of a Lodge Tower Room (the room with 2 queen beds, and then an extra seating area with a couch and second TV). Unfortunately, these rooms are not available if you have booked a standard GV room. These rooms are a bookable category under "Lodge Tower", or if you're staying in the Sugar Loaf Concierge building, there are 3 of them there, and they are by request only (you can't book those in advance). I believe the pictures you saw were likely of the Lodge Tower Room that Kelly and her family stayed in while in the Sugar Loaf building last month. (Triplefigs has stayed in one, too.)
Since you're looking to maximize your space, I would make sure that you request a regular garden view room (not a dormer room, which are on the top floors of the outer lodge buildings). The dormer rooms are quaint, with cathedral ceilings, but do have a bit less space (maybe 20 sq. ft. or so), have a solid balcony, and usually no daybed (although I think the refurbished rooms might now).
I don't think you will have an option to have a king bed, since you are a party of 4 people. I would think the maximum occupancy for a king room would be 2, maybe 3 people. Plus, king rooms are few and far between it seems, so I would prepare yourself to have the 2 queens/daybed layout.
Yes, all room at the GF have balconies (or patios on the 1st floor). I would think a 1st floor room would be just fine, although I might not want one just off one of the pools, due to foot traffic.
You can see the monorail from a lot of different points around the GF, and there are 2 pools - the courtyard pool, and the beach/theme pool.
Here are a couple of links to GF layouts:
Live Earth map: http://local.live.com/default.aspx?cp=28.411444|-81.586792&style=h&lvl=15&v=1
Resort Map:
http://www.allearsnet.com/acc/grandfmap.jpg
In my personal opinion, nothing at the GF is too far away - maybe a 7 minute leisurely walk from one end of the resort to the other. I would probably suggest that you request Sago Cay (to watch the monorail, be close to Gasparilla's, the bus stop, and the marina to watch Wishes from at night) or maybe Big Pine or Boca Chica (to be close to the pools). I'm sure one of our more knowledgeable GF'ers can come along and give better recommendations, but these would be my thoughts.
I think everyone has a different opinion on the refurbishment. I personally liked the older decor a bit better, but that's just my personal taste. For a refurbished room at this point, you'd need to request Conch Key, or be staying concierge in the Main Building (which they're currently working on).
Lastly, I've yet to order any special goodies from Private Dining at the GF (although I will be in Nov.), but I would probably say order at least a couple of weeks in advance - although you could probably wait longer if you liked.
Have a great trip!