The "My child thinks he should be in control" Club!

[Pembo]

I need some support and empathy here. My almost 8 yo has always had and probably always will have a problem with the fact that the universe does not revolve around him. This little fact of life has been especially trying for the past month!

I'm not sure what purpose a club would have other than being a place to rant and rave a bit! Besides, misery loves company.

Any one want to join?

 

[Lorix2]

Yes, sign me up! Mine is only 6 though.

He sure thinks we were put here to do everything for him and if things don't go his way - look out!

 

[deadheadbelle]

Well, DS is only 4, so it looks like I will be a member of this particular club for quite a while. He really & truly thinks he is the one who should be making decisions around here. It would be comical except for the fact that he is not kidding!!!

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

Sign me up also. I've told my 12DS that he needs to learn the word "OK" as is It's time to go to bed. OK mom. Time to get a haircut. OK

Everything is an argument or a discussion. He knows how to push my buttons and he knows that he has me wrapped around his little finger.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Well, we have started this with DD (2). She doesn't really like rules! LOL!. And has started not eating dinner because she wants a cookie instead. She has gone 2 nights with no dinner now. And she thinks it is funny when I ask her to do something (like pick up her crayons) and she runs away.

I am perfecting my "look" and have learned not to chase her. I am trying to be as consistent as I can.

 

[catsrule]

Can I sign up? Simba thinks this as well.

 

[janette]

My 9yo DD is part of this club

As an infant, when about 9/10 months she refused to eat anything she couldn't feed herself. She didn't mind having a spoon around but certainly wasn't going to allow anyone to use it to put something in her mouth. It was obviously about control.

One time when she was about 3yo she told her daycare teacher that she was fired.

Another time when she was about 3/4 she was arguing with her older sister in the back seat. Her sister said "You aren't the boss". Her response "But I want to be!". No truer words were never spoken.

I chose battles, use reverse logic, whatever it takes and it has gotten better. Although she might not always be happy about compliance she for the most part is.

On the plus side I don't worry about peer pressure with her, she won't be one to follow the crowd. On the minus side I have to try to make sure that the choices she makes are the right ones.

 

[JESW]

Ah yes.....my DS9 fits that. We have had some MAJOR issues with him at home and now they are happening more at school. In fact, we are just starting the process to have him tested. We would not be surprised at all if he has ODD.

Good luck! I know it's not an easy ride...

Jill

 

[luvmydogs]

Oh yeah--ds8 is a charter member of this club, alright!

 

[figment95]

Sign me up for the club! DD is 7 and I have to explain to her almost every day that it's not all about her. What a terrible thing to say to a child!

 

[Cindy B]

My 9 and 6 year old are in this club too...

 

[septbride2002]

I don't have children *That is my little disclaimer* however when reading your post your examples of your children made me think of a book that a read awhile ago, "Positive Personality Profiles" by Robert A. Rohm

" Dominant type is equivalent to the old Greek choleric "

"The 'D' type s very demanding . The seldome take "no" for an answer. A "no" to them means "Ask again later!" If you stick to your "no" they will be thinking of a way to go around you. Ther are not being rebellious - they just have so much drive and determination that they want to keep going. "

"Research seems to indicate that only about 10% of the general population has this type of profile."

"When I first became interested in personality types, it was almost out of desperation. It seemed to me that my oldest daughter, Rachel, was getting more and more out of control. I found myself constantly asking, 'What is the matter with my daughter? Why is she so stubborn and hardheaded? What happened to that sweet little girl who used to ride on my back?"

"Because you have a high "D" type daughter you need to parent her differently. High "D" must have challenge and control. These are their basic needs. When you say to her, "Rachel you need to go to bed by ten o'clock,' she hears something enitrely different from what you said. Rather then hearing, 'You need to go to bed by ten o'clock, ' she hears, 'Do you want to fight?'"

"I thought to myself, "Wow, that must be right! She likes to fight about everything! So that night I thought I would try it. I said to Rachel, 'Tonight you can go to bed whenever you would like. Ten o'clock is the limit, but you choose.' She looked at me and said, 'okay!' And that night at ten o'clock she went to bed...and I picked all my teeth up off the floor!"

Sounds to me like you all have D type children. Good Luck!

~Amanda