The Misadventures of our Family Circus

~~2013~~
Yeeha Bob

I have felt guilty that I have been working from Florida, so, I have been working through my lunches. But Wednesday I took a break and walked around the neighborhood. I got to the farthest distance and then it started to rain. So I jogged the rest of the way back and arrived home soaked. I can't believe how much it rains in the sunshine state!

After work we went to Disney's Port Orleans to see one of our favorite shows: Yeeha Bob! We sang, we danced, we made fools of our selves, and we had a great time. Yeeha Bob is our favorite. Every year he comes to Western New York to do a show for Give Kids The World and we always catch him there as well. Bob makes you feel OK about being a kid again.
 
~~2013~~
Splendid China and 2U

Everyday as we drive to our house we pass by an abandoned property surrounded by a white wall. The area is perhaps a mile or two up the road from our house. The white walls have strange oriental symbols, heavy overgrowth, and as we drove around the outside it was impossible to tell what lie within. We thought maybe it was a mansion or an old country club left abandoned.

I did some Google research to find out what lay beyond that wall. You'll never guess what I found. Splendid China!

Splendid China was an amusement park that opened outside of Disney in the 90’s. It had a China focus, entertainers from China, and many of the important icons of China presented in a smaller scale. It took $100M to build the attraction and was a common park for many, and also attracted protests from human rights groups. After September 11, the travel industry took a hard hit, and Splendid China couldn’t keep their park open. They closed in 2003. Ten years later? The park has been vandalized, many items stolen, and it is heavily overgrown.

We have been driving by this property all month and never knew! Mystery solved.

I was excited for Thursday because after work we were going to see a U2 tribute band called 2U. They were playing at Epcot. It is very difficult for me to get tickets to see U2 (and very expensive), so I was excited about seeing a free concert.

We showed up at 8pm and had third row seats! The band came out and were fabulous. When they reached the end of song number 5? They thanked everyone and walked off the stage. Walked off the stage? This was a five song concert? I didn’t know that! They played for 30 minutes and then left. 2U played at Epcot for two week (I believe), 3 shows a night. Each show is 30-45 minutes. But I didn’t know that and I expected a full concert! And they were really good too.

Our roach problem at the house continues. As we are approaching the end of our trip next week, we are concerned with bringing roaches home with us. So, Linda is washing all our clothes and sealing them in Space Bags. Space Bags, if you haven’t seen them, are plastic bags that you suck all the air out of with a vacuum to make the bags very tiny. It also prevents the roaches from getting in. Our plan when we get home is to leave everything in the van until we can wash it down and bring it inside.

We are loving our time in Florida and can't wait to see what adventures we have tomorrow!
 
~~2013~~
Pain In The Back

Saturday was a Disney Water Park day. We had to pick between Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach. How to pick? If you mostly like the tidal pool and lazy river? Typhoon Lagoon is the best. They have a couple of water slides, but the wait for us was 30-45 minutes. There is a kiddie park for those under 48". And there is a place where you can swim with the sharks. If you like water slides the most? Then you choice is Blizzard Beach. Both parks have many of the same things, just one is better than the other at some things.

We picked Typhoon Lagoon and spent most of our time in the lazy river. We did five laps around the park just relaxing in an inner-tube. Ahhhh...

It has rained everyday we have been in Florida and this day was no exception. Luckily? We were at a water park. But the thought did cross my mind that we should seek shelter so we wouldn't get wet.

After the lazy river we tested the wave pool. The wave pool has two modes: waves like you might see at an ocean; and tsunami. We were standing in the calm tide pool with the water lapping below our knees. A siren sounds. Then a thunderous rumble. And a tsunami wave (perhaps twenty feet high?) formed in front of us. By the time the wave hit us, it was at my shoulder height.

I quickly turned and grabbed my youngest (soon to be 10 yr old Son) and lifted him above my head so the water wouldn't drown him.

Five years ago I was lifting heavy CRT computer monitors at work - giant 30" monitors, and I blew out my back. I went to the hospital for an MRI, was put on some good medicine. It felt like the top and bottom of my body were disconnected. I had to use a walker and endure a lot of pain across a week to walk again. After that, I would occasionally have minor back pain around the SI area requiring back pain medicine, muscle relaxers, and a few days of light activity. During the past year I have been strengthening my abs and back and have had no problems.

I lifted Mike while turning as that wave hit. I dug my legs into the ground so the wave wouldn't knock us down, sending us both into the water. It was then I felt my back snap and knew that was the end of the fun for me.

I have returned to the back pain medicine. It isn't a major problem - I am still fully functional (still carrying the 50lb back pack). But I have a constant never ending pain in the back.

To add misery to the pain. I forgot the first rule of water parks: sun screen. My brother taught me that you should start the summer with a good burn and then you wont burn again, you will just tan. Obviously my brother is not a doctor, but I followed this pattern yearly. I get really good deep tans. I get so tanned that one September at the start of elementary school, my daughter told her teacher I was black. So you would think the lack of sun tan lotion wouldnt have a strong effect on me. I didn't do my back or chest and now I have a nice burn. Back pain and sun burn - nice combination.

It should be interesting to visit Disney with a bad aching back. I wonder how I will survive the rest of the trip! But I can't be a whimp and ruin the rest of the trip for the family. I will just have to suck up the pain, bite down on a leather strap, and keep going!
 
~~2013~~
After throwing out my back at the water park we drove back to our house to get some back pain medicine for me and then drove across town to Epcot. We walked into the park, stood in line for twenty minutes at Spaceship Earth and it was finally time to ride!

As you enter your Space ship Earth car, you are asked to select a language. I told my son to select English. But he thought he would be funny and he selected Japanese! I drove across town and waited in line for this? The entire ride was incomprehensible.

Activities in the Epcot pavilions are often overlooked because, well, because they are dull. They are educational and usually promote some company and there are hundreds of them. So, we avoid the pavilions. But with some extra time on our hands, we went to a pavilion and participated in a 3D experience that told us how to protect our house from violent storms ( using products provided by the sponsors, of course) .

We finished the night with a walk around the world. It was 9pm as we passed through France. Mike stopped at the sundial in France and asked me to use it to tell him the time. Uhm. It is a Sundial. By it's name, it requires... The sun.

Another fun day at Disney World was had by all!
 

~~2012~~
No Seasons

Our 2012 trip involves visiting Boca Raton, Ft Lauderdale, and then going to Universal. oyr time at Ft Lauderdale has been great. Beach volleyball, mini golf, ping pong, arcade, $4 Sundaes, and pool. Finished it with a great meal at The Chart House restaurant on the water way. I ate way too much... and then they brought us a free desert - I could have entered a food coma, passed out and dropped right into the waterway.

It is odd to see Christmas decorations at local businesses because it really feels like July and the decorations seem out of place. It is an odd combination of summer days and Christmas Trees. of Santa and bikinis. Of surf boards and sleighs. When we visited my friend in Boca Raton, he said that without the seasons, you tend to forget about the holidays. It is great weather all year long and the seasons just blend together.

Tomorrow we plan to get up early, pack everything, hit the road, and head to Universal Studios for two nights. It sounds like a perfect plan, what could go wrong?
 
~~2012~~
Universal

Calamity occurred when, on the way to Universal Studios we stopped at Wendy's drive thru and ordered my oldest son two hamburgers and fries. Instead of hamburger he received cheeseburgers, which he won't eat. And while not paying attention, his little brother ate all his fries. He was starving when we arrived at the hotel but the only remedy was a $15 hamburger-not a chance! He had to wait until we arrived to the park and ate dinner.

We checked into the Loes Royal Pacific. The only reason we stayed here was because guests in a Universal Hotel get "fast pass" for lines, otherwise we would have fiund someplace cheaper. Just to park my van in the parking lot and walk a mile to the hotel cost me $18! The hotel was beautifully and incredibly themed, however the theming seemed confused. Is it Hawaii? India? Indonesia? I couldn't tell.

The hotel is very large and it was a long walk to our room. When we arrived at the room we found it smelt like bleach. So we hiked all the way back to the front desk and asked to be moved.

The new room was very small, considering we spent hundreds of dollars. The bed was very hard with just a piece of foam over it. I would spend the night with a red blinking light on the ceiling keeping me awake. And although we didn't know it when we arrived, the shower dripped all night long. There was no refrigerator or microwave, although I doubt there would have been room for it.

As we settled into the new room, my youngest announced he lost his 3DS that he had got for Christmas. Was it in the first room? The lobby? After a long hunt, we remarkably found it behind a bench in the lobby.

We headed off to Universal Islands of Adventure (which includes Harry Potter) arriving around 5pm, and had a good time. We haven't spent a lot of time at Universal. We visited 23 years ago, and then six years ago I attended an event that rented out the park, but that has been all.

Our first ride was the Cat in the Hat. After being in the speed pass lane for fifteen minutes they announced they were having a "great" delay. We stuck it out and eventually did get to ride it.

The best part of the park was Harry Potter. We drank Butter Beer and ate Chocolate Frogs and we twitching from sugar overload. I am not sure they cod have made the stores any smaller if they had tried

We stayed late and closed down the park. Overall it was a good experience and I wouldn't hesitate to return someday if I could afford it.
 
~~2013~~
Construction in Florida

The Upstate New York economy is shrinking. Kodak is dieing, Bauch and lamb moved the headquarters are moving, and Xerox continues an aggressive plans to use off shore employees. The only construction we see is work on the crumbling roads, or knocking down another Kodak building.

It has been very refreshing to see positive construction here in Florida. Roads are being built, amusement parks are expanding, hotels are going up, and businesses are being built. I didn't realize how much I missed seeing a crane building something.

Construction means economic growth. After two decades living in the depressed Western New York economy, it is nice to see such a contrast.
 
/
~~2014~~
escaping the escape from tomorrow

We are getting everything ready for our trip to Florida in only 6 days!

Last year an unauthorized movie was made at Disney World named Escape From Tomorrow. The movie is now available on Netflix so I thought it might be fun to watch to see some familiar sites around Disney World.

Huge mistake.

I had to shut the movie off. A few days later I returned to the movie because I thought it would get better. Instead it got worse an I shut the movie off again.

From what I saw, the movie is about a pedifile stalking teenage girls around Disney World and swimming up close to them at the pools.

It was very disturbing. Avoid the temptation of seeing Disney World in a movie and just don't watch this horrible movie.
 
~~2013~~
Universal

On Friday we took a trip to Universal Studios. With a year pass to Disney, it doesn't make sense to buy tickets to Universal. Instead, Universal has a City Walk similar to Downtown Disney that is free. Free... Except for the $16 parking fee.

If you visit Universal, you'll enjoy the first ride: Park The Car. This is a long twisting hair pin turn that snakes you for miles into a parking garage.

After you park your car for the Magic a kingdom, you can take a boat or monorail to the park. Not Universal. It is all escalators. My oldest son thought it was an example of American Laziness to ride the walking escalators so he refused and walked the entire distance. That probably explains all the blisters on his feet today!

There is a globally accepted rule with escalators: if you want to stand and ride it, stay to the right. Allow people who want to walk on the escalator to pass on the left. Everyone knows this! Everyone, except the idiots visiting Universal. Come on! Get with the program! Get out of the way!

We ate lunch at Margarettiville. I had regularly tried to get into the Myrtle Beach location but the lines are an hour long or more. At Universal? We got right in! It was a nice experience even though the food wasn't as good as the decor. I have seen the magic here, no need to return to eat there.

After lunch we watched a movie at the giant AMC theaters. Then we checked out all of City Walk. And that is about it. There wasn't live entertainment nor much imagineering. Just a plot of land to rent to businesses - very mall-ish. Very plain. But now we can say that we visited Universal during this trip!
 
~~2013~~
I See Stupid People

We started Sunday at Chef Mickey, or, the Scream Chamber, as I like to call it. This is a breakfast buffet at Disney's Contemporary Resort. The Contemporary is a large triangle shaped hotel that allows monorails to run strait through the center of the hotel. The buffet has excellent breakfast choices. Breakfast in interrupted by Disney characters (Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Donald, and Goofy) who pause for pictures.

I call this the Scream Chamber because the restaurant sits in a cove within the cavernous hotel. The screaming kids causes a defining echo chamber. I have read the area has been flagged by OSHA for sound levels, and workers are required to take longer breaks to recover.

When on vacation too many parents take a vacation from parenting. They allow their 5 and 6 year olds to go to the buffet by themselves. The children return with a plate mounded high with food. The child takes one bite from the plate and the rest goes into the garbage. Why are these parents doing allowing this to happen?

My back was in the worse shape so far. Even though I was heavily medicated, I remained in significant pain. But I didn't let that slow us down!

After breakfast, we walked the short distance from the Contemporary to the Magic Kingdom. It was a very hot day but luckily we had cooling towels. These were recommended by The Dis Podcast and are shamies that you soak with cold water and wear around your neck and it keeps you cool. Yes, we looked like dorks. But we were cool dorks.

The park was very hot. In the North when it is hot you can find relief in the shade. But in Florida when it is hot with high humidity, the heat radiates from the air surrounding you - there is no relief! I saw one lady buy the famous Mickey Ears (chocolate covered ice cream on a stick) and she opened the package and the ice cream immediately fell to the ground. These things are expensive ($4)! And there it sat on the pavement. What would you do? Well, she picked it up, put it back on the stick and ate it.

In addition to being very hot, the park was packed. Maybe it was due to my back pain but I was very annoyed by all the self centered idiots who had no sense of presence. They would stand in doorways and stare off into space - hay! Don't block the way! Or they would be walking in the stream of people and just stop in the walkway. Or a family of three would hold hands and stretch across a walkway while walking slow. And the strollers! These are supposed to carry children but instead people push them empty and use them as weapons to stab their way through the crowds. In one case a lady kept running her stroller into the back of my foot, say "sorry" and then do it again. In another situation, we were in a crowd with 10,000 people all headed down a walkway and a lady come up behind us with a stroller saying "Excuse me, excuse me" expecting us to get out of her way - there was no place to go! And we were all headed in the same direction at the same speed! These crowds are all crushed together tight. In one situation I saw a girl go to hit her boyfriend and ended up smacking a lady that was passing by. When it came time to do the fireworks at the end of the day, they pushed all these thousands of people into Main Street and told them to squish together. It was hot, smelly, people were tired, and frustrations were high. At one point a guy hit Mike with his bag so Mike pushed it back. The guy yelled at Mike for touching his bag, then took a look at me, realized that was a bad idea, and walked away. They keep letting more and more people into the Magic a kingdom and they all want to see the fireworks and ride Peter Pan an do everything - at some point you can't fit anymore people in the park!

I think someone from Disney is reading my blog. After I wrote that Disney water tastes like toilet water? On Sunday we had three people tell us the drinking fountains are triple filtered and healthier than bottled water. Well, filtered or not? It still tastes like toilet water.

It has rained every day we have been in Florida. When it rains it is usually for only 30-60 minutes. Without fail, it rained on Sunday so we decided to eat dinner.

Eating in the Magic Kingdom can be a challenge. If you want a sit down meal? Forget it. These restaurants require reservations and are often booked months in advance. Can you imagine owning a restaurant in the real world that is booked for months? That is the way every Disney restaurant is. The only solution is fast food. In the North we expect a certain efficiency where people are working very hard. We went to a Burger King the other day and waited 15 minutes for our order because there was one guy making burgers and three people standing around chatting filling the orders. We went through a Wendy's drive thru and it took 30 minutes. At Disney fast food, you stand in line to place your order and then stand in another line waiting for your food. The food is ready (giant pile of burgers under a heat lamp) and sitting there and is just waiting to be assembled, and is assembled as slowly as humanly possible. If you want to eat? You had better not be in a hurry!

My back caused problems for me throughout the day but I kept moving and didn't slow down. It probably made me a little more grumpier toward my fellow man, and less tolerant of all the fricken' idiots that over populated the park's attendance.
 
~~2013~~

If you are staying near Disney World and are hungry for some great BBQ, then you will want to read this. I am a fan of Dicky's BBQ, but the closest one is way past Winter Garden. So, instead, we are going to pit two of the best smoke houses on Route 192 in Kissimmee: Smokey Bones versus Wildside BBQ. Both of these can be found on 192 just 6 miles apart from each other. They offer steaks, pork, chicken, ribs - everything you would expect. And you can order it piled high to meet any appetite.

For appetizer, we are going to start with the Nachos. The nachos are piled high with cheese, BBQ meat, and various other toppings. Wildside BBQ delivered a giant plate stuffed with BBQ meat. Meanwhile, the cheese on the Smokey Bones nachos wasn’t melted and the BBQ meat was cold; it was difficult finding enough topping to finish eating the Smokey Bones nachos.

WINNER OF THE APPETIZER: Wild Side BBQ


The décor of both restaurants is very nice. A nice option at Wild Side BBQ is to sit watching the cook at the fire pit. Meanwhile, Smokey Bones has televisions everywhere and plays music (which we found the music to be too loud). Nevertheless, Smokey Bones is going to win the décor because Wild Side placed us at a tiny booth at the front of the restaurant and we had to push the booth back in order to fit - and we aren't large family!

WINNER OF DÉCOR: Smokey Bones BBQ


We tested order accuracy with some very easy customizations. Wild Side BBQ delivered everything correctly. Smokey Bones delivered our nachos with tomatoes on it (when we asked for none) and forgot to put bacon on our mashed potatoes.

WINNER OF ORDER ACCURACY: Wild Side BBQ


A BBQ meal isn’t complete without BBQ beans. Smokey Bones beans are thicker with a bolder BBQ flavor. Wild Side BBQ has a thinner sauce. Smokey Bones is going to win this due to the bolder flavor even though the flavor 'got to me' and I couldn’t finish the beans.

WINNER OF THE BBQ BEANS: Smokey Bones BBQ



Each restaurant has a selection of BBQ sauces to use with your meat selection. Wild side had four flavors to choose from, and Smokey Bones had three. Everyone’s preferences are different. I prefer a sweater BBQ sauce. I had difficulty finding a sauce I liked at Smokey Bones. Wild Side, on the other hand, had a sauce I simply loved.

WINNER OF THE BBQ SAUCE: Wild Side BBQ


The restaurants are priced differently for similar products. While both are reasonable, considering what you are getting, we found Smokey Bones to be cheaper providing better value.


WINNER OF THE BETTER VALUE: Smokey Bones BBQ


You can tell a lot about a restaurant by looking at their restrooms. Both restaurants had adequate bathrooms. Smokey Bones had the best restroom décor but I found Smokey Bones to be dirty and not fully functional.


WINNER OF THE BEST RESTROOM: Wild Side BBQ.


Many of the vacation area restaurants offer extras, such as souvenirs, park tickets, or pictures. Smokey Bones offered none of these. Wild Side took our picture and offered it to us for purchase. Normally we would purchase the picture, but this time my wife's eyes were closed, so, I complained that I couldn't buy it. The photographer was mad, snapped back the picture, and walked away. Conclusion? Sometimes offering no service is better than offering poor service.

WINNER OF THE EXTRAS: Smokey Bones BBQ


The other item of note: We tried the Smokey Bones Macaroni and cheese, but didn't try the Wild Side Macaroni and Cheese, so, we can't compare it. But we can describe it. The Smokey Bones Macaroni and Cheese had a strong onion flavor and a sharp cheese flavor that left an after taste. We could not eat it. I would recommend staying clear of the Macaroni and Cheese.



So let’s recap.


WINNER
Appetizer. Wild Side BBQ
Order Accuracy. Wild Side BBQ
BBQ Sauce. Wild Side BBQ
Best Restroom. Wild Side BBQ
Decore. Smokey Bones BBQ
BBQ Beans. Smokey Bones BBQ
Value. Smokey Bones BBQ
Extras. Smokey Bones BBQ


In conclusion, both restaurants are excellent. Regardless of which you pick? You won't be disappointed. So, tuck your napkin into your shirt, order a big pile of BBQ meat, and dig in!
 
~~2014~~
Packing for 37 days is no small task. I bought 8 tubs to help us: some for food, some for clothes, some of other items. Kids need toys. We take an arcade that includes computers, Wii, and various hand held games. Beach toys and sandals. Because I work during the trip, we must take my home office. Cameras. Cables. Books. Pens. And the list goes on and on.

We have packed for trips like this (none this long) a dozen times do we are pretty good at it. Somehow, we get it all to fit into the van.

With too much to pack and not enough time, we are hurriedly doing scavenger hunts through the house against our packing lists. We leave on Friday and I don't know how we will possibly be ready.
 
~~2013~~
Last Trip to Disney for 2013

We start a long journey north on Wednesday. Leading up to it, we have been packing the house. Packing is a lot more work than we anticipated. Because of the many roaches in the house we are concerned about unwanted stow aways. As a result we are washing everything and immediately vacuum sealing it into space bags. Once sealed it immediately goes to the van. Every toy is getting scrubbed and every bag cleaned. Much of our travel food will be thrown out. And we have strict quarantine rules for how things move through the house.

Due to packing, we didn't go anywhere after work yesterday. I did go for another walk around the neighborhood, an activity that was challenged my back condition. I have increased my back medication and am doing all I can to remove this knot in the center of my back. I push through the pain, but, it has made me fairly immobile and even more useless than normal.

On Monday I notice an enormous number of Smirnoff left in the refrigerator. I can't stand to waste such fine alcohol so I decided to do my part in reducing the inventory. What I forgot, however, is one should not mix back pain medicine with alcohol. I found it odd that I would take a drink and my head would immediately go fuzzy. Then clear. Take another drink, go fuzzy, then clear. I remarked that Smirnoff has never had such an effect on me. By the time I realized what I had done, it was too late. Linda enjoyed taking pictures of me trying to eat dinner with difficulty finding my mouth. I don't remember much about Monday evening but I did sleep really well.

Tonight we are going to finish out Florida vacation with a last trip into Disney World . We are going to the French Quarter to eat, take a ride on a boat, then try for a horse drawn carriage ride.
 
~~2013~~
Packing to go home

We spent our last evening at Disney World visiting the Port Orleans resorts. We started at French Quarter for dinner, took a boat to Riverside, and then came back.

While strolling through the streets in the French Quarter, Linda suddenly shrieked. As I turned to see what was wrong, I noticed a large corn snake on a ledge that my oldest so was passing. As I turned I saw the coiled snake attempt to strike him! The snake shot forward in a flash with its mouth wide open. Luckily it missed him, but missed him by only inches. It was just a corn snake, something Disney deploys to keep the rodent population under control. Nevertheless, it was shocking to see such a long snake!

We returned to the house and continued to pack.

On Wednesday we start our journey North. We will stop in Charleston on Thursday to see the aircraft carrier USS Yorktown. On Friday we visit Hershey. On Saturday and Sunday we visit Gettysburg. I am sure we will have some terrific adventures in the days to come!
 
~~2012~~
Driving Home

I was out of bed at 5:30am. Everyone up, van packed, and on the road at 8am. This time the three families were traveling within 30 minutes of each other with us in the lead. We passed through Florida, Georgia, the Carolina's, and into Virginia before stopping around 7pm.

We were almost creamed by a tracker trailer as we approached the Virginia border. Someone was coming down an exit and the semi didn't see we were next to him passing. He immediately yanked it into our lane. I slammed on the brakes and went into the shoulder of the road at 75mph. We all slam forward as the antilock brakes engaged. The semi missed us by inches.

After crossing the Virginia border, we entered the Blue Ridge Mountain Range at dusk. Driving through the mountains are scary enough during the day and is a nightmare at night. Finding the hotel was a welcomed site!
 
~~2014~~
Heading South

Our marathon of packing kicked into high gear Thursday night. I fell asleep Friday morning at 2am, but Linda kept going until 4am!

Packing our belongings is just a simple scavenger hunt. Packing my home office is time consuming because I can't forget any cable. But packing clothes is the worse!

Our strategy for packing clothes is to first make sure everything we own is washed. We used to then put all the laundry away only to bring it back out and pack. Instead, we line up laundry baskets, each one dedicated to someone, and begin identifying what will be taken.

Considering we will have a washer and dryer at the house we always pack too many clothes. For example, I am taking 25 shirts or various styles, 6 cargo shorts, and more.

My job is to make sure all batteries are charged and all electronics get packed. We have one entire bag dedicated to cables!

Our plan for today is to load the van and leave this afternoon. We want to hit Harrisburg PA by 10pm.
 
~~2014~~
Driving Day One
Blog

I woke up early and ready to pack and hit the road, but our typical family fate had different plans. My wife wanted to go to work for just three hours to finish a few things... Just three hours... After six hours I was wondering if Gilligan was lost at sea!

The house was littered with half filled suitcases that my declared inept ability of packing clothes prohibited me from finishing. With nothing productive to do but wait... I decided to participate in the great American pass time: watch TV. Lunch on the road was replaced with grilled hot dogs and hamburgers after the morning and then the afternoon slipped away. When Linda finally arrived home at 2pm, I was too exhausted from the stress of waiting to be of much help packing. OK, stress had nothing to do with it, I am just generally useless for packing. With all the clothes we are taking it is nice to know that we are keeping some third world textile sweat shop employed.
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We hit the road at 4pm with a six hour drive ahead of us. We raced down the highway with daylight burning. And fifteen minutes down the road we realized... We forgot something. Returning home would add half an hour to an already long and late trip. But that was no excuse and I complied by turning the van homeward. The forgotten item? A very important and essential sentimental stone. I don't get it. Probably because I am a guy. But I could have found a replacement stone alongside the road and thought of some way to assign sentiment to it.

We followed familiar roads out of New York and into Pennsylvania, racing the clock to optimize sunlight. All the while our kids were glued to our Souvenir Collector's 36-page itinerary that described every twist of the road and what we would be doing every day of the trip.

Usually while driving I snack on French Fries and Chocolate Chip cookies. And I always load up on Hush Puppies and Dunkin Donuts - treats I only get during vacations. Instead I decided to go heathy this time and created a trail mix of unsweetened dried fruit and nuts. It was disgusting. But I chocked it down and by doing so, it kept me alert.

We made great time to Harrisburg PA and pulled off for the night.
 
~~2014~~
Driving Day Two

Usually the goal on the road is to rest up, wake early and hit the road to avoid driving in the dark. Today, I adjusted the goal to do a workout in the Hotel Fitness Center before breakfast. It has been two weeks since my ankle injury and other than getting sore during the day, it hasn't been a problem. So why not put it to the test several hundred miles from home?

As we headed down the highway and exited Pennsylvania, the thought struck us: we don't know how to access the house key when we arrive in Florida! We arrive on Sunday and I hope we can get in. Just in case, I emailed the home owner. It would really be bad if we had to sleep in the van parked in the driveway.

We planned today as our day that Linda and I would record ourselves lip syncing to "Love is an Open Door" from the Frozen movie. If anyone searches YouTube they would find dozens of these videos of families singing the song while driving and I want to contribute to the trend. After an hour practicing we decided we needed another hour. And then another hour. And then concluded we might have better luck tomorrow. This is a lot harder than it looks!

Throughout the day I have been snacking on my trail mix: dried unsweetened fruit and assortment of nuts. Then my throat felt itchy. And then my ear. And then it felt like my ear was swelling and closing... And I realized I was having an allergic reaction to something in the mix! So much for my attempt at eating a healthy snack.

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I pulled off for gas at St Paul North Carolina, swiped my card at the pump and the pump said "See attendant". But I found the minimart door locked and a sign in the window that said "I will be back in 5 minutes". 5 minutes from when? And was it safe to just drive away? I hope so! I am sure I have nothing to worry about...

We then went the Burger King. Linda came out of the restroom and passed through some cloud of chemical cleaner that turned her stomach, made her feel ill the rest of the day, and gave her a sore throat. That's kinda the way I always feel after eating at Burger King.

When we checked the weather it said we would have a full day of driving under clear skies. It started raining as soon as we left StPaul making it difficult to travel beyond the limits of man's laws of velocity. Our plan had been to stay at the Holiday Inn in Santee South Carolina, like we did last year. But Linda called and the hotel was full because people were pulling off due to the rain storm. In fact, as she checked, every hotel she wanted to stay at was full all the way to Savannah Georgia! What were we going to do?

Last year I made reservations at the HoJo in Santee. Linda hated it and fired me from making any further reservations. This year we pulled off in Manning South Carolina and took a hotel that looked like a refurbished HoJo. Under the conditions we didn't have any choice. Everything was filling up! The room was OK... Except we needed to wear a seat belt to avoid falling off the toilet, I sank to the floor when I laid on the bed, and there are tons of bugs flying around the room.

So far, we have had a good trip and look forward to arriving in Florida tomorrow.
 
~~2014~~
Arriving In Florida

2014 June 29

We left the hotel with around seven hours driving before us. We practiced lip sinking the song "Love is an Open Door" for about an hour before we got the camera out. It took ten takes to get the perfect recording! Next, I need to load it onto YouTube.

We left South Carolina and entered Georgia. As we passed a truck weigh station a Semi rejoined the highway infront of us. The Semi had a broken front axel and the front wheel was wobbling. The Semi was rocketing to 70 mph while the wheel was ready to flip on its side and break off the truck, meanwhile causing the truck to bounce and jump. The van next to the approaching truck was terrified and pulled into the left lane, unaware of a black car that was already in that lane! To avoid a collision, the black car was pushed into the side of the road. The entire event happened twenty feet in front of us and was terrifying!

When we entered Florida, the Sunshine State greeted us with rain that followed us all the way to Orlando. It was pouring heavily and thunder and lightening burst all around us. "I just heard lightening!" My youngest said. We passed by one poor sole along side the road changing a tire in the downpour.

When we went through Orlando I was uncharacteristically leaving a healthy following distance between myself and a car in front of me. A small red car in the left lane tried to use the gap to shoot over three lanes and catch an exit. As the red car came into my field of view I dropped by break pedal to the floor causing the anti-lock breaks to kick on. But luckily I avoided a collision with that red car!

We took the exit off I4 to Rt192 and the rain lightened. It is good the rain became a drizzle when it did because our overworked windshield wipers quit and became stuck in the middle of the windshield! Nothing I didto the controls made the wipers move. I assumed I blew a fuse.

We reached the house we are renting at 4:30. Luckily the owner returned my email about gaining access to the door key and we were able to enter with ease. However, we found the maintenance company had not cleaned the house! The house wasn't disgusting but it was not clean. We immediately called the owner who apologized and arranged for a cleaning.

Since we had to wait for the cleaning before unpacking we decided to go grocery shopping at the Walmart on Rt 27. I wrote in 2013 about how insane this Walmart is.
B028F4E9-89F4-42A2-B9E5-0493678FC502_zpsd2hqqsqd.jpg

Workers in every isle can not keep the shelves stocked as the crowd of customers push their way through the isle to get the last can of beans. This year I decided I didn't care if I was in anyone's way because it is impossible to shop without blocking someone from something. That Walmart is insane! It was difficult loading groceries into a van already filled with suit cases, so, we buried the kids in grocery bags.

We returned to the house after shopping. The house was now clean except for the maggots we found in the kitchen drain. We bagged all our groceries into ziplocks to keep any possible bugs away. Then we put all the mattresses into mattress bags before remaking them with our own linens (we just don't trust beds and bedding left behind).

It feels great to finally be in Florida!
 
Do Before Heading To Florida

There are many things to do before heading to Florida, but these two are very important!

1. Tell your credit card company that you will be traveling. Failure to do so could trigger the fraud protection and shut your card off. Simply call the phone number on the back of your card before leaving and tell them you are traveling.

2. Update the roaming capabilities on your cell phone. New towers are being built all the time and if your phone doesn't know how to talk to them you could be caught in a dead zone, or, have a weak signal. To update a Verizon cell phone simply call *228 before heading out. NOTE: if your phone uses 4G instead of 3G, it will auto update and you do not need to all *228.

I hope these tips help!
 














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