~ The Man Report ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Imminent Shutdown ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

[jeminni]

mercy flush

 

[beckanoah]

Crud, wonder if I can get away with a couple of my smilies!

 

[blue_river]

Let the good times roll

Can't cmment now

My big bro was visiting tonigt

 

[beckanoah]

~ The Man Report ~ ~ Urgent Matters & Nutty Limericks ~


It was payback time.

After years of waiting on LtP outside of the companion bathrooms, the time had come for my clan to wait on me.

Can, commode, John, crapper, restroom, outhouse, and so on…

I’ve got other names but have been scolded numerous times in the past for using that language… even though I don’t consider it offensive… some do.

I find these are good times to check email, stock prices, the DIS and sports scores. My handy little PDF, the Palm Treo, provides me with instant access to the outside “World”. In 20 minutes, I can be completely up to date with the happenings outside of paradise. Last March, I posted to blue’s thread from my Palm Treo inside the commode facility at Epcot’s Germany. Good times.

Sometimes, I’ll even make a phone call.

There’s only so much you can do inside the stall of a public restroom. You get bored. I’ll call associates, friends back home, my parents, the house-sitter, whoever. I don’t care. I’m just killing time.

I’ll even bust out a pen from my fanny pack and create some nutty limericks. I write them on a toilet seat cover and leave it for the next park guest to read. I like to brighten people’s day.

Occasionally, I enjoy making people uncomfortable. If I know someone is in the stall next to me, I’ll ask them how their day is going or if they know who won the Yankee’s game.

If I know there’s someone at the urinal or sink, I’ll bang on the stall side-barrier and holler “Heaven’s to Mergatroid” or “Fire in the Hole” as loud as possible. When I’m feeling really “saucy”, I’ll simply moan.

At the airport in Denver I once asked the gentlemen next to me for a “mercy flush”. He didn’t respond.

However, my absolutely favorite thing to do is the “fake phone call”. This is the most fun when the restroom facility is packed with the after-dinner crowd. Sitting within the sanctuary of my individual toilet stall, completely anonymous, I make my phone ring. After several rings, I pretend to answer it. Depending on my mood, I have four pre-planned discussions that I will have with the non-existent caller. They are:

• Eduardo, the angry Brazilian tourist
• Rocko, the Brooklyn thug
• David, the effeminate mailman
• Heidi, the hillbilly polar bear rancher


Unfortunately, this visit didn’t afford me any time to have fun. Thanks to the previous evening’s crustacean platter & carb feast, there was nary any time to spare as I burst thru the doors and charged the nearest stall.

Three and half minutes later, I washed my hands in the sink and walked outside to my beloved family. “That didn’t take long”, LtP commented.

“False Alarm”, I lied.

It’s day 2 of my lovely vacation and we’re off to Fantasyland. Big Thunder is closed and we’re saving Pirates for another day. The plan for the next trip to MK is to step outside of our beloved routine and really hit some of the attractions we’ve never done before. It is my belief that this will provide me with some much needed “New” material for the trip report. One can only talk about toilets so many times.

We skip past the Haunted Mansion as neither child remembers it but is now afraid of it due to the name and its ominous appearance.

Thru the tunnel connecting Frontierland to Fantasyland where we park the stroller in the “designated stroller parking area” so we can get in line for Peter Pan.

Woe be it to the park guest who DOESN’T use the mandatory parking facility. You may get “snapped” at by a disgruntled CM or worse, your stroller could be placed in there “for” you where the likelihood of ever finding it again is remote.

Walking into the queue for Peter Pan, and past the sign telling you the length of time you’ll wait to ride, reminds me of the greatest business promise that is rarely delivered. “Under Promise & Over Deliver”. Disney goes out of their way to achieve this simple, yet often overlooked business practice.

The sign says 20 minutes. We’re riding Peter Pan within 3. This is a common Disney theme. We check in for the Princess Lunch yesterday and are told seating will commence in 20 minutes yet they call our name in 5.

Most businesses preach this philosophy to its people but Disney delivers on the promise… in most cases anyway. It’s just one more thing that endears me to Disney… matching business philosophies.

Those of you who’ve never done the Peter Pan ride need to give it some consideration. It’s a simple enough attraction with some “light” animatronics while you fly overhead but it’s fun and something I’ve enjoyed since I was 12 years old (at Disneyland). Give it a try next time you’re down and you won’t be disappointed.

Next Up: Clown College: Tougher than advertised.

MB and LtP ride behind LG & I on Peter Pan. MB is smiling. MB = Gud

1

 

[beckanoah]

I decided to leave a couple out, so I don't get in trouble!

Funny update. Good thing no #4's were involved!

 

[DisneyJo]

OMG Buzz that was hilarious My Dad always reads the newspaper on the loo but phone calls

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

Occasionally, I enjoy making people uncomfortable. If I know someone is in the stall next to me, I’ll ask them how their day is going or if they know who won the Yankee’s game. If I know there’s someone at the urinal or sink, I’ll bang on the stall side-barrier and holler “Heaven’s to Mergatroid” or “Fire in the Hole” as loud as possible. When I’m feeling really “saucy”, I’ll simply moan.

At the airport in Denver I once asked the gentlemen next to me for a “mercy flush”. He didn’t respond.

This is totally something my brothers would do.

• Eduardo, the angry Brazilian tourist
• Rocko, the Brooklyn thug
• David, the effeminate mailman
• Heidi, the hillbilly polar bear rancher

I laughed so loud at this one that my co-worker had to ask if I was ok.

“Under Promise & Over Deliver”. Disney goes out of their way to achieve this simple, yet often overlooked business practice.

We noticed this a lot on our trip as well.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

My always beautiful, stunning, understanding, perfect-in-every-way wife Linnie said, “That didn’t take long."

“False Alarm”, I lied.

Then I woke up. Another dream sequence, only this one took place while I was awake.

Actually what really happened was I said, "Good grief, Ja fall in or what??" It took forever. I tried not to be too impatient, given my issues of past trips, but COME ON!! We're in WDW, let's move it!!!

I didn't chastise him too badly, as he did look quite sheepish upon leaving the bathroom which now had an odd greenish cloud seeping through the cracks in the door. Toxic substance of some sort I believe. At least we weren't at the hotel where I would've had to have listened to all the sound effects, commentary and the finale, "Linnie, Come and look at this!"

One thing he forgot, which frustrated me was the kids didn't want to ride Haunted Mansion and I did, so we were going to, but the reason we didn't was b/c it was closed. Not b/c the kids were scared-they were going on it b/c I wanted to, but we were thwarted by Disney on that one.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

beckanoah, you actually managed to reply with smilies and not get "edited".

Lessa, I was wondering if anyone would notice Heidi, the hillbilly.

Actually what really happened was I said, "Good grief, Ja fall in or what??" It took forever. I tried not to be too impatient, given my issues of past trips, but COME ON!! We're in WDW, let's move it!!!

Hooboy! After all those years of waiting on her, she's givin' me the biznezz.

I didn't chastise him too badly, as he did look quite sheepish upon leaving the bathroom which now had an odd greenish cloud seeping through the cracks in the door. Toxic substance of some sort I believe.

I couldn't sit down again for an hour.

At least we weren't at the hotel where I would've had to have listened to all the sound effects, commentary and the finale, "Linnie, Come and look at this!"

Hey! I don't do that!!

She's just grumpy everyone since I'm in WDW right now... even though I miss her. .

One thing he forgot, which frustrated me was the kids didn't want to ride Haunted Mansion and I did, so we were going to, but the reason we didn't was b/c it was closed. Not b/c the kids were scared-they were going on it b/c I wanted to, but we were thwarted by Disney on that one.

I forgot, we were going to "MAKE" them go on it. I can't remember why it was down though. We "made" our kids go on Rockin' Roller Coaster also. Wait till you see that picture!!

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

Lessa, I was wondering if anyone would notice Heidi, the hillbilly.

They just don't read your updates close enough to pick up on your subtlety. I on the other hand must be your best reader as I always catch onto it.

 

[DisneyJo]

and the finale, "Linnie, Come and look at this!"

OMG he doesn't

We "made" our kids go on Rockin' Roller Coaster also. Wait till you see that picture!!

No that's just wicked, can't wait to see the photo

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

They just don't read your updates close enough to pick up on your subtlety. I on the other hand must be your best reader as I always catch onto it.

Yes , Lessa = Gud.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

OMG he doesn't

No that's just wicked, can't wait to see the photo

It's so bad. YOu guys will hate us when you see it.

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

It's so bad. YOu guys will hate us when you see it.

hehehe, I agree with Jo, I can't wait to see it.

 

[ncsjodi]

I realized that you were talking about Blue, but was a little too late, as I'm in WDW too!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

I realized that you were talking about Blue, but was a little too late, as I'm in WDW too!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

OMG he doesn't

I never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever do that...

...unless it looks like celebrity or her brother Darryl.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

She's just grumpy everyone since I'm in WDW right now... even though I miss her. .

I could care less-I'm having a rockin' time at home right now. You should see the house-total disaster! I get to spend all day in my new cozy pj's playing video games with the kids.

And the money I've spent shopping this week, well let's just say I'm having myself a very Merry Christmas.

Going shoe shopping on Monday!!!

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

And the money I've spent shopping this week, well let's just say I'm having myself a very Merry Christmas.

Going shoe shopping on Monday!!!

You are my kind of people!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

I could care less-I'm having a rockin' time at home right now. You should see the house-total disaster! I get to spend all day in my new cozy pj's playing video games with the kids.

And the money I've spent shopping this week, well let's just say I'm having myself a very Merry Christmas.

Going shoe shopping on Monday!!!

Hey!

Oh, CRAP. I need to get home.