~ The Man Report ~ ~ Beautiful Dreams & Cast Member Bribes ~
My loving family wakes me up with a wondrous Mickey carol sung in perfect harmony. Although Im not first up to clean my mess, I find my loving wife has done so without complaint. All participants are ready and waiting for me to take them to the Magic Kingdom.
They graciously wait on me hand and foot. Feeding me grapes as I peruse the mornings paper. After my long hot shower, they clip my toenails, shave my scraggy face, and dress me in the days outfit.
In the kitchen a full breakfast awaits. Coffee, tea, OJ, eggs, bacon and ham steak. They await in silence as I finish the sports section and nibble slowly on my delicious breakfast.
Then I wake up.
Dad!. Mom says to get your butt out of bed and clean up your mess in the kitchen..
Hooboy.
After cleaning both kitchen & living room, were ready to hit MK. LtP is giving me the look as we climb into the rental car.
I know, I know. I had a little late night snack. I justify. Its vacation!
Uh huh, was her only response.
Its our second full day at Disney and Im a little melancholy. We have to drive to MK instead of taking the bus since were staying off-site. However, its the only day well have to drive to MK as we move to OKW on Friday.
Any of you who have driven to MK know about the hassles involved. Park in the lot, jump on the tram, exit the tram, walk 100 yards to the Monorail, wait in line, board the monorail, elbow your way to a seat, then ride it to MK. Its a 45-minute adventure, fraught with peril & not fun.
Once Walt keeled over, Disney Imagineers were allowed to be more practical and put parking areas NEXT to theme parks
a novel idea. If Walt was around for the unveiling of Epcot, parking might have been located somewhere in the Downtown Disney area.
Today is Tuesday, October 9th, and according to my Unofficial Guide (UoG), MK crowd level should be a 5. Perfect.

What is NOT perfect is the state of my condition after the 45 minutes of debauchery from the previous evening. Could be trouble.
You dont get Disneys Unofficial Guide?!? For shame!! Thats like showing up for a gunfight armed with a toenail clipper. You gotta think people!!
Today will be boilerplate Mills Family touring. Weve done it a hundred times and theres no plans to stray from our proven formula. Adventurous tour planning will commence on a later MK trip.
Obviously, we make the rope-drop. Only Canadians and those who dont purchase the UoG show up after 9 am. We watch the pre-show, enjoy all the hoopla then go into our routine. We split into two groups. Group #1: Me. Group #2: Everyone else.
I race through the throng, alone & unfettered, and am FIRST to receive my stroller. I know the tricks and am able to GAT by a couple hundred Ip-Dips who havent done enough studying (and arent aware of the UoG).
Im out the other end of stroller rental in mere minutes where my experienced clan awaits their chariot of the day. They load up and we bolt for Adventureland where yet another rope drop awaits. We mill around, take a few meaningless pictures, then charge off in the direction of Splash Mountain using the Adventureland/Bathroom tunnel as our quickest route.
Arriving through the bathroom tunnel that connects Adventurland to Frontierland, we encounter our third rope-drop. I sidle up to the smiling female CM holding one end of the rope, give her a glorious smile (that won me the woman of my dreams) and offer her a bribe.
Ill give you this Skippy doll if you give us a head start.
She laughed out loud and so did another female CM standing close by.
Im actually considering that, she says, those Skippy dolls are rare!
We banter back and forth a little until its time to move slowly towards Splash Mountain. Hopefully, its open. Seems like hundreds of times in the past weve found it closed upon park opening. Today we know one of our kids favorites is under refurbishment; BTMR.
Splash
is open and were among the first 15 to ride it. In fact, we rode it twice. Im not sure I even like this attraction any more. The song is as annoying as Small Worlds and theres really only a 7 second thrill during the entire 9-minute ride. With the advent of 3D shows, its hard for me to get worked up over the 60-year-old technology that Disney calls, animatronics.
Without beer to stimulate my brain, Im in for a long day.

Oh, how I miss Epcot.
After an hour of traveling, fighting crowds, plus two consecutive trips around Splash Mountain, Im ready for the commode facility and a little alone time. Buzz likes his alone time.
Next Up: My Heavy Investment In the Newly Founded Vietnamese Stock Exchange.
Dad, were not doing anything. Why are we just sitting here?
- Waiting for the Adventureland Rope Drop
Put the camera down Mills. I still aint happy about the Carb Feast.
LG loves Stitch so MB gets stuck with the strangely cute, Skippy.
Working over the little Splash play area. Hurry up guys, dads gotta poop!
Either mom got wet on Splash or shes lactating again. 