~ The Man Report ~ ~ Pandelerium & Death Defying Spin-age ~
The absolute best part of going to the Magic Kingdom is the facial expressions of my children. I absolutely love how happy they look while were in this park. There are so many colors, buildings, entertainment, music, and attractions that their necks snap back & forth trying to capture it all.
Unfortunately, for us ADD types, it can be quite distracting.
Its similar to walking in to my parents house. Theyve got so much crap spread around their house and jammed in to every nook and cranny that I cant stand to be there very long before I just lock myself in the bathroom and surf the DIS on my cell phone.
My parents like to buy new stuff for their house. The problem arises in the fact that they never remove anything. I mean, if you enjoy good clutter, come and visit Mr. & Mrs. Mills around Christmas and youll witness clutter of extreme proportions.
I like simple. Epcot is about as Simple as it gets and thus my favorite park. Magic Kingdom is a chaos of colors and merriment that is almost overwhelming. If it werent for the fact that my children love it, I wouldnt go.
Now, with all that being said, Fantasyland is like MK on steroids. Colors, jubilance, music, sound, chaos, strollers, children, pandemonium, and fun all wrapped into one neat little package. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb but I knew this would annoy the wife.
After Peter Pan, LG wanted to do the carousel and I wanted to do Philharmagic. As my vote is basically meaningless, we rode the carousel.
Could there actually be a more worthless waste of time than sitting on a polyurethane painted horse, sliding up & down? I doubt it. I actually witnessed a teenager forced onto the ride by his parents who practically fell asleep. He ended up on one of those sleighs instead of a horse. Those dont even go up & down! You can imagine the look on his face. His misery actually brought me joy.
The most hysterical part of the attraction is the leather seat belt they put on each horse to make sure youre safe! Lets just say Im hammered drunk, I get on this horse, strap myself in, then pass out in a drunken stupor. Is that belt really going to stop me from crashing into the rider next to me then onto the ground? The answer to that is clearly no.
This attraction HAD to be an afterthought. There was room for something and Disney didnt want to waste a bunch of space so they jammed this carousel in, put a fake sword in the stone in front of it for picture opportunities, and voila, they had one more reason to pay $85/day to visit their theme park.
Kudos to Disney. Bad for Buzz.
I took all the mandatory pictures required of me then leaned against an empty horse and stared out at my surroundings. This ride goes around about 10 times so I had plenty of time to see the crowd barrel in to the Philharmagic theatre and then back up once again indicating that we had just missed a show.
My favorite attraction would have to wait until later.
We finished our dizzying carousel experience and decided it was time for our
mandatory ride on the teacups. I dont even know what the real name of this ride is. Its the teacups to me and thats what I plan to call it.
Its our patented double-dizzy-ride-touring-plan that usually leaves me discombobulated for an extended period of time.
Ive got a sickening method of cranking the wheel on the teacup to achieve maximum spin-age along with maximum sick-age.
I crank and crank and crank until were pulling G-Forces similar to those experienced on a NASA shuttle launch.
By the time were through, my kids are giggling madly but LtP & I are green. I stumble out of the pink teacup and aim for the nearest exit. Unfortunately, my spin-age has caused me to lose all equilibrium & aim which in turn forces me to walk with a slight right-handed lean with a trajectory that will take me to an unintended exit.
Who cares? As long as I find an exit, keep from regurgitating, and locate the stroller, Im happy.
The next 20 minutes are a blur as I silently attempt to keep whats left of my crustacean platter & carb feast in my body.
When I finally come to, I realize were in Toon Town, standing outside of Minnies house. In my delirium I was talked into visiting this house of hell where theres only one way in, and one way out.
The crowd is thick as anxious toddlers and pre-schoolers swarm the house looking for Minnie or anything removable to take home with them. Its pandelerium of the highest order and Im immediately irritated by the chaotic scene.
Irritated and partially sick, I manage to talk the family out of making the entire tour and swim back up stream and out the entrance door.
Mom, I gotta poop, LG flatly states.
I take this perfect opportunity to relax on the sidewalk outside of Minnies house and regain my composure. What on earth was I thinking? I know I cant handle spinning but I just love to make my little babies smile.
What the heck, it was worth it.
Next Up: Ich Bin Ein Berliner.
Hooboy
having fun now.
Well, at least one of us enjoys it.
Ok, make that Two people who enjoy it. 
At least her shirt's dry. 
MB sez Teacups = Gud.
This happiness would be short lived.
Sucked into Disneys own little Hell. 
Not sure where Nickelson is though, I am thinking Central PA. At first they were saying she had a liscene to carry, but becasue they cahrged her I am assuming she didn't. The orginal story I saw said a 9mm.
The two times the kids have insisted on riding in the dung, we haven't brought the camera. 
I come home from work and there it is! 
Its the only thing Annie asked for before we left home,,timing is everything in Disney! 
You folks call yourselves Disers. 
