~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[GrumpyOne]

Nice trip report (so far), highly amusing. Thank you for adding to the lack of productivity for my day

Nope, nothing wrong with drinking beer at 11am. As was pointed out, it's always later somewhere.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Oh, and sorry for no pictures yet. They're coming. I just have to get them uploaded which takes a little time and now Pooh-head is cracking the whip on me with the "Honey-do" list.

Aw, poor guy, someone should write a song about this..... oh wait a minute.......


I used to come home late and not a minute too soon
Barking like a dog, howling at the moon
You'd be mad as an ol' red hen
Up all night wonderin' where I been
I'd fall down and say come help me honey
You laughed outloud I guess you thought it was funny
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence
I guess I gone out and lost all my good sense
Too much work is hard for your health
I could've died drinkin', now I'm killing myself
And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass
You made me a list and I'm bustin' my wheel
All broke down, tail's been draggin'
It's a tough ol' life up here on the wagon
I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Yeah I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

 

[is_it_oct_yet?]

Aw, poor guy, someone should write a song about this..... oh wait a minute.......


I used to come home late and not a minute too soon
Barking like a dog, howling at the moon
You'd be mad as an ol' red hen
Up all night wonderin' where I been
I'd fall down and say come help me honey
You laughed outloud I guess you thought it was funny
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence
I guess I gone out and lost all my good sense
Too much work is hard for your health
I could've died drinkin', now I'm killing myself
And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass
You made me a list and I'm bustin' my wheel
All broke down, tail's been draggin'
It's a tough ol' life up here on the wagon
I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Yeah I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

i was thinking the same thing, or rather, my dh was atleast!!I am going to be singing this song forever now!!

 

[serendipity]

As always a great installment. Sorry that all those rides weren't working properly...what gives? We too do an around the world at EPCOT with food and liquor.. Maelstrom is never as enjoyable

 

[mmeb144]

Aw, poor guy, someone should write a song about this..... oh wait a minute.......


I used to come home late and not a minute too soon
Barking like a dog, howling at the moon
You'd be mad as an ol' red hen
Up all night wonderin' where I been
I'd fall down and say come help me honey
You laughed outloud I guess you thought it was funny
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence
I guess I gone out and lost all my good sense
Too much work is hard for your health
I could've died drinkin', now I'm killing myself
And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass
You made me a list and I'm bustin' my wheel
All broke down, tail's been draggin'
It's a tough ol' life up here on the wagon
I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Yeah I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Mary, crack me up. Poor MDF! Taking a lickin'.

Blue river, where did you find the cool smiley? I'm glad you're taking all the teasing well.

Marie

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I'm already stuck here and btw, all your stories are good ones!

Thank you!! I don't know if it's that weird things happen to us or we just have a different way of looking at the world or maybe it's just a different reaction. A few years ago, my dad told me it's a good thing I have Buzz around b/c he keeps me laughing. Boy that is the
truth.

Stinkerbelle's mom-I love that song-Toby Keith, right?? He's awesome. Unfortunately, Buzz might not get it b/c he is not a fan of country music. He is a big metal head. Hard to imagine I know....Growing up in Montana, I love country music. I have a big box of CD's I stored while we were moving, I'll have to look & see if I can find that song and play it for him.

Yeah, Poor Buzz-he has such a tough life, doesn't he?

In truth, we just try to make the most of bad situations or any situation, see the humor in it and enjoy life. Our kids are like that too-Loud Girl is definitely a clone of Buzz, loud and boisterous. Trey is me, quirky, quiet and a little off.

Hey, Blue, Buzz has a real weak stomach for bugs, spiders and things. He gets all squeamish around them. That's why he's picking on you-he's jealous that you're so at ease around them!! I've told my parents on more than one occasion it's tough for me to be the man around the house, chasing mice and spiders etc. If he knows what's good for him, he will keep quiet about my personal troubles (i.e. Toiletcot from the last trip) or I'll let more of his secrets slip out...

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

First off I love your reports! What is it with men and these stretchy waist shorts????? My DH tried this last year with a pair of old blue hawaiian print swim trunks, and he's not a little man, He insisted that he would wear them every day with what ever shirt he grabbed first.... green, red, orange.... All I could think is "someone from the DIS board is going to see us and his picture will be posted all over the board"

Thank you. We love the TR boards!

What is it about swim trunks?? When we first started going to WDW 10 years ago, Buzz wore his swim trunks everyday! If memory serves, they were green with a bright yellow and navy pattern. That's probably where he got the idea for wearing the same clothes all day-he used to do that with his swim trunks. I used to wear a Mickey tank top that was actually a pajama shirt. Yup, we were all about the fashion....

 

[Goofster57]

I'll be back later to comment on Linnie's post

Thanks for the chuckle and smile this morning, it was a great way to start the day.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

You guys are picking on poor Buzz

Ok, time for the next trip report.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lin vs. The Rabid Duck~~~~~~



There are a couple of things you all need to know about for our first day’s adventure in the swimming pool at our resort.

1). Linnie The Pooh hates all birds. She’s afraid to death of them.
2). A duck is a bird.


We head back to our hotel after a good 1st day start at Epcot (yes, rides were broken, but the kegs still worked), toss on our bathing suits, and hit the swimming pool which is right outside our back door.

Have you ever seen the movie Caddyshack? Remember when all the caddies show up at the pool all of a sudden and the golf club members are all horrified? That’s what it was like as Clan Mills rolled in.

Now, mind you, this is a resort community similar to DVC in that most of the people present are owners, not renters. However, it’s a different crowd than we’re used to. Most of the people around the pool are retired and reading books. There wasn’t a single child present. These weren’t the types who visited theme parks. We might as well have been at Pool #9 of the Del Boca Vista Retirement Community.

We stroll in: I got three beers left on a six-pack holder dangling from my finger, my shades on, gut hanging out, and a little strut going. I’m feeling good. Loud Girl yells “Ungowa” prior to diving in the pool right next to the “No Diving” sign and splashing the 80 year old couple playing cribbage. We’ve got a bunch of old pool toys that we toss directly in the pool and our kids are wearing life jackets as we’ve never bothered to teach them how to swim. Moan Boy is squealing & hollering gibberish and mom’s got a bright red face. Not one of her prouder family moments.

I locate the only empty table and chairs among the crowd, drag it out into the sun right next to the sun burned couple who have the oxygen tubes hooked up, and set up camp.

I take a long pull off my Bud, remove my shades, yell “Cannonball!!!” …then all 200 pounds of me takes off like a shot, leaps into the air, grabs one leg then proceeds to empty 1/3 of the pool water onto the cement surroundings.

The Mills’ have entered the pool area… with authority I might add.

I might also add that the once packed house of the swimming pool area slowly disintegrated until we were one of the only ones there. This happens to us a lot.

Pretty soon, I spot a rather large duck up in the sky circling the area. He looks more like a Hawk than a duck. He’s all alone which strikes me as odd. What’s even odder is when he starts his nose dive towards the pool aimed directly for my wife.

I really can’t believe my eyes as he zeros in on the one Duck-Hater in the area and swoops down 100’ to within inches of her head and lands neatly in the water and gives her a nice “glare”.

Pooh is just plain freaking out by this time and out of the water as if someone yelled “Shark”!!! The kids & I are laughing uncontrollably and the duck is still staring down my wife. This is one mean duck, let me tell you.

When he splashed down in the water only feet from Pooh, he made quite the little splash and foaming water was all over his body. He really looked like Rabid Duck at this point.

I sort of felt sorry for the bird. He’d probably lost his mate and was now deranged and taking it out on all female duck haters around the globe… starting with Pooh-head.

This duck obviously held all rules or laws with total disdain as he simply ignored the sign next to “No Diving” which also said, “No Animals”. Maybe he was somehow related to us?

Turns out though that this was just a playful duck. Not mean or spiteful at all. Moan Boy and I chased him around the pool for an hour. He never left the water once. When we got too close, he just swam a little faster. It’s amazing how fast a duck can swim. He was obviously just playing with us and killing some time. I think he had as much fun as we did.

That was a great couple of hours in the pool. We had a blast! The duck finally just flew off so we toweled off and got ready for dinner. Luckily, we got some pictures of the cute little guy which I’ll post later.

Once again, I’m going to PLUG one of our favorite off-site restaurants. You guys have to try this place sometime. It’s called Giordano’s and they have two locations around Disneyworld. Once is near the Crossroads area and the other off 192. Both are great.

Usually the service isn’t that good but this time it was excellent. In fact, I’d have to say the Crossroads Giordano’s was better than the other one. Newer, nicer, better service, etc… As always, we ordered the XL thin crust with just Cheese on side and Canadian Bacon w/ Pineapple on the other. Mmmmmmmmmmmm….

After dinner we hit the Wall-Mart and purchased all our weekly needs along with a lot of our weekly “wants”.

That evening, when we got back to the hotel, I went into full vacation mode as I attempted to execute Secret Experiment #1. I ate Peanut M&M’s, potato chips, a donut, leftover Pizza, popcorn, a large Sugar Cookie, many Oreos, Fritos with bean dip, two glasses of wine and two Crown Royals on ice.

I was in full slob mode also. You could literally follow me around the condo by just looking for the droppings of food as they fell from my mouth. I was more Cookie Monster than “man”. I couldn’t help myself. It was all so lurpin’.

By the end of the evening, I was a huge mess of a man, lying on the couch, bloated and cross-eyed, trying to watch an old Seinfeld rerun. This is usually how I look on the last day of vacation, not the first!

Eventually, we all headed towards our beds and fell asleep.

Only to be awakened by the rowdy college-types partying at midnight in the hot tub right outside our room! By this time I was in total agony. My stomach hurt for some reason, my head was pounding a little, I was burping up bean dip, and now these pre-adults were annoying me with their drunken fun.

I got a glass of water and two Tums, called security, and 20 minutes later they had left. That hour after the party was broken up was pure agony for me. I was very sick (must have been a flu bug) and it took all my concentration and will power to keep from regurgitating. Somehow, I finally got over feeling ill and went to sleep. Must have been one of those 2 hour flu bugs you’re always hearing about.

Next up: King of GAT

 

[KathyRN137]

You guys are picking on poor Buzz

You poor wittle thing!

 

[blue_river]

You guys are picking on poor Buzz

Ok, time for the next trip report.

Comments on new post coming soon! Have to watch House first

 

[KathyRN137]

That evening, when we got back to the hotel, I went into full vacation mode as I attempted to execute Secret Experiment #1. I ate Peanut M&M’s, potato chips, a donut, leftover Pizza, popcorn, a large Sugar Cookie, many Oreos, Fritos with bean dip, two glasses of wine and two Crown Royals on ice.

Okay...I really have no comment to make because I'm speechless. No, wait, actually I think I'm nauseous.....would you excuse me for a moment!

Kathy

 

[Mic_n_Min]

Today's TR entry has got to be the funniest of them so far. Between the rabid duck and your pigging out, I could picture it all (whether I wanted to or not!)

Can't wait to read the next installment!

 

[OhMari]

I am laughing so hard I am crying.
You two are like Erma Bombeck rolled into one.

 

[Luv2trav]

Oh my,,, This is halarious... I would have loved to have witnessed the pool entrance...

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Stinkerbelle's mom-I love that song-Toby Keith, right?? He's awesome. Unfortunately, Buzz might not get it b/c he is not a fan of country music. He is a big metal head. Hard to imagine I know....Growing up in Montana, I love country music. I have a big box of CD's I stored while we were moving, I'll have to look & see if I can find that song and play it for him.

:

Tobey Keith! Score one for Buzz cuz I'm a metal head too actually! I likes me some country music as well, big loves me some metal!

Yeah, Poor Buzz-he has such a tough life, doesn't he?

Our kids are like that too-Loud Girl is definitely a clone of Buzz, loud and boisterous. Trey is me, quirky, quiet and a little off.

And that's why we ya! Remember PEEPs we're laughing with ya, not at ya! (ok well maybe PixieDust is )

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Great installment!

Buzz-- I can't believe you caught the 2 hr flu! I heard that was going round! Glad you're feeling better!

Linnie-- I'm totally with ya on the bird thing!

When I was in middle school one day they called the whole school over the intercom & told the teachers to have all the students packed up for the rest of the day & to report to the audotorium ready to go home The school then proceeded to show us Alfred Hitchcock's movie The Birds! Never told us why either. Then they proceeded to let us leave for the day-- a nice autumn afternoon. Tons of quiet children walking home looking skyward at all the hundreds even thousands of birds lined up staring at us on the wires. That was the longest quietest walk of my life. That movie scarred me for life. It wasn't tell a bunch of us were planning our 15th class reunion & talking about that that a former classmate who was on the student body explained to us that the school had raised a little extra money & it was a REWARD for all of our hard work & good behavior! I mean really WTH!!!!

 

[BostonTink85]

That pool entrance sounds just like something my family would do....especially my dad cannonball-ing in! LOL

 

[almousefan]

I am loving this report. I have been laughing for the last hour. My only disappointment is that I have to wait to hear the rest of the story!

Keep it coming!!