Annie&Hallie'sMom
<font color=deeppink>Things turn out best for peop
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2001
- Messages
- 3,054
Before I start my long story (beware), I wanted to say that I had a fantastic time in WDW. SUre there were some downs (aren't there always?), but we had plenty of magical moments, which I promise to write in a nice long multi-part trip report.
However, now we're back and things stayed magical.
Background:
Since February, DH & I have been working with an attorney to adopt a child here in the US. I was told she was a bee-aah-ch (or for those of you who can't understand my phonetics -- a real witch), but knew her stuff. We gave her a retainer and started on our home study, birthmom letter, photo album, etc. She had found a few potential birth moms, but sadly, nothing came of it.
The Friday before Thanksgiving she called (we hadn't heard from her in months), saying that we should consider redoing our letter and photo book since we hadn't had much luck. Though I didn't speak with her, I was in the house and DH was on the phone for maybe 3 minutes with her.
So Thanksgiving Day, we take all sorts of photos (outside, at the dinner table, etc). I called their office on Friday and left a message (they obviously had the day off -- I didn't) saying that we were working on taking some more photos, but wouldn't have them for a couple of weeks as we were going away and we'd take some more photos on our vacation. Also, per their instructions, I left the dates we'd be away, the phone number of the OKW Resort where we were staying and the name of our friends who we were staying with (the room was in their name).
So we go away and have a fun time in WDW. And I'm taking couple photos here there and everywhere, including trying to do every Santa in the WS (what says family more than photos of a couple and Santa?).
We get home late Wednesday night to a multitude of messages on our machine (no one every calls us when we're home. Sigh
). There are 2 messages from the attorney's secretary/receptionist saying they might have a mom to call back right away! Of course these messages were from a few days back! And I was pretty upset. I had followed their directions and I would have spoken to them while we were in FL.
Additionally, while we were away, we recieved a statement from them which deducted money out of our retainer for the conversation that the attorney had with my DH. We were billed for 20 minutes!
So on Thursday, DH calls their office and speaks to the secretary/receptionist who says she didn't know we were away and that she will have the attorney call us.
Well when I got home DH was steaming. I mean I have rarely seen him that angry. Our concern was lack of communication between us and the attorney and her office. Well, the attorney went off on my DH. He said he couldn't get a word in edgewise. I don't know all of the conversation, but I do know that she never apologized and called my husband a lunatic and said she would terminate our contract right then and that she had been in court all week long. (Do I care that she was in court??? Isn't that part of her job?) DH (who is obviously NOT a lunatic), was rational and said we'd call back next week to see if we should continue.
Do I have to say how upset I was??? I was a MESS (ok, I'll admit I'm easily an emotional wreck). Logically, I know we have to cut our losses and cannot work with this woman. But emotionally, we've invested alot and it just really wrecked me.
But I managed to call back the office, speak with the secretary, and say that we needed to end the contract and wanted the remainder of our retainer back (we've already invested $1000 with this attorney, which is a good amount of money to me. After all that could have been a couple of days at the Contemporary!). And the secretary says ok and that's that.
Today the attorney called back and tried to smooth things over a bit, but never apologized. My DH said he couldn't work with someone who called him a lunatic, to which she said she couldn't recall calling him that. The kicker is, she says we'll never find another lawyer who will do all the work she would do (helping us find a mom as well as all the other legalities).
So, although we have a completed home study, we have no attorney, no agency to work with and no clear thoughts on where to go from here. I'm not even sure if we should do a domestic adoption at this point.
As I said (and I know this is a LONG post), logically I know that we should have never hired this woman and that now we have done the right thing. But my emotional side is burned out. I am still weepy (not a good thing at work) and just feel like all I've done this year has been for naught (again logically I know this is not true, but...).
Any way, if anyone has any words of wisdom, advice, can give me some prayers and/or PD, I'd appreciate it.
I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller.
However, now we're back and things stayed magical.
Background:
Since February, DH & I have been working with an attorney to adopt a child here in the US. I was told she was a bee-aah-ch (or for those of you who can't understand my phonetics -- a real witch), but knew her stuff. We gave her a retainer and started on our home study, birthmom letter, photo album, etc. She had found a few potential birth moms, but sadly, nothing came of it.
The Friday before Thanksgiving she called (we hadn't heard from her in months), saying that we should consider redoing our letter and photo book since we hadn't had much luck. Though I didn't speak with her, I was in the house and DH was on the phone for maybe 3 minutes with her.
So Thanksgiving Day, we take all sorts of photos (outside, at the dinner table, etc). I called their office on Friday and left a message (they obviously had the day off -- I didn't) saying that we were working on taking some more photos, but wouldn't have them for a couple of weeks as we were going away and we'd take some more photos on our vacation. Also, per their instructions, I left the dates we'd be away, the phone number of the OKW Resort where we were staying and the name of our friends who we were staying with (the room was in their name).
So we go away and have a fun time in WDW. And I'm taking couple photos here there and everywhere, including trying to do every Santa in the WS (what says family more than photos of a couple and Santa?).
We get home late Wednesday night to a multitude of messages on our machine (no one every calls us when we're home. Sigh
). There are 2 messages from the attorney's secretary/receptionist saying they might have a mom to call back right away! Of course these messages were from a few days back! And I was pretty upset. I had followed their directions and I would have spoken to them while we were in FL.Additionally, while we were away, we recieved a statement from them which deducted money out of our retainer for the conversation that the attorney had with my DH. We were billed for 20 minutes!
So on Thursday, DH calls their office and speaks to the secretary/receptionist who says she didn't know we were away and that she will have the attorney call us.
Well when I got home DH was steaming. I mean I have rarely seen him that angry. Our concern was lack of communication between us and the attorney and her office. Well, the attorney went off on my DH. He said he couldn't get a word in edgewise. I don't know all of the conversation, but I do know that she never apologized and called my husband a lunatic and said she would terminate our contract right then and that she had been in court all week long. (Do I care that she was in court??? Isn't that part of her job?) DH (who is obviously NOT a lunatic), was rational and said we'd call back next week to see if we should continue.
Do I have to say how upset I was??? I was a MESS (ok, I'll admit I'm easily an emotional wreck). Logically, I know we have to cut our losses and cannot work with this woman. But emotionally, we've invested alot and it just really wrecked me.
But I managed to call back the office, speak with the secretary, and say that we needed to end the contract and wanted the remainder of our retainer back (we've already invested $1000 with this attorney, which is a good amount of money to me. After all that could have been a couple of days at the Contemporary!). And the secretary says ok and that's that.
Today the attorney called back and tried to smooth things over a bit, but never apologized. My DH said he couldn't work with someone who called him a lunatic, to which she said she couldn't recall calling him that. The kicker is, she says we'll never find another lawyer who will do all the work she would do (helping us find a mom as well as all the other legalities).
So, although we have a completed home study, we have no attorney, no agency to work with and no clear thoughts on where to go from here. I'm not even sure if we should do a domestic adoption at this point.
As I said (and I know this is a LONG post), logically I know that we should have never hired this woman and that now we have done the right thing. But my emotional side is burned out. I am still weepy (not a good thing at work) and just feel like all I've done this year has been for naught (again logically I know this is not true, but...).
Any way, if anyone has any words of wisdom, advice, can give me some prayers and/or PD, I'd appreciate it.
I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller.
and some PD 
quick!! I wish I could make this all better. I think you're doing the right things but any time you've worked hard on a relationship, you're bound to have a tough time walking away, even when it's the right thing to do.
