The Maelstromers... a FASTPASS!

[LaLa]

Melons!!!! You're famous... with your girls and all. And the melon thing isn't small either! Heh, heh.

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LA ~ Hi La La! Let's take turns grossing out ZZUBie. Your turn now... then I'll hit him with my next puke story. You can start with the Meat Dept. at Walmart one. That sounded promising to me.

But... I ALSO have a new game for us. Friday and all that. So... everyone get a drink and we'll play:

Tell Us Your Hidden Talent

I'll go first... because Lil' Grumpy made me think of it. Along with sushi.

Mel happyhaunt's Hidden Talent IS...

Of the Circus/Freakshow Variety.

Hummmmm....???????

Try to guess. I have to go make myself a drink.

Okay, give us another clue. That Circus/Freakshow Variety thing is waaaaay too broad. You could either be the only living breathing boywolf or you could be able to jump through rings of fire while someone snaps a whip at your egg bouncin' tail.

Oh, and the meat department thing. Well, suffice it to say that DD was sick that day and we just so happened to be in the meat department with the rest of the Friday crowd. We had made it to the pork section and all of a sudden...Somebody get me a FANNY PACK! Wait, two. I need two of 'em!

No, better make it three.

She went home in a brand new pair of pajamas that day. Yeah, it was the first thing I could grab off the rack in a 4T as the puke train passed the kiddies department. I was pushin' and she was pukin'. We left a trail. After we left, Wal Mart had a slip and slide runnin' straight from the meat department all the way to the bathroom. They currently have our Polaroid up behind customer service. I think that means we're banned.

Question: Why do we moms think we can catch it if we cup our hand up to their mouths?

I'll leave yall to ponder that burning question.

And your welcome, ZZUB. That oughta work a couple off.

Tag, Mel. You're it.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Now we know why MellyMellyTinyBelly won't show her face in any pictures...She's a Bearded Lady!

That's clearly... NOT ME, Shelbie.

Check out the watch.

And I'm a little more muscular.

 

[paslea_pooh]

That's clearly... NOT ME, Shelbie.

Check out the watch.

And I'm a little more muscular.

Plus, it doesn't look like you can crack an

on that butt!

 

[paslea_pooh]

Oh, and the meat department thing. Well, suffice it to say that DD was sick that day and we just so happened to be in the meat department with the rest of the Friday crowd. We had made it to the pork section and all of a sudden...Somebody get me a FANNY PACK! Wait, two. I need two of 'em!

No, better make it three.

Why do we moms think we can catch it if we cup our hand up to their mouths?

I'll leave yall to ponder that burning question.

And your welcome, ZZUB. That oughta work a couple off.

Tag, Mel. You're it.

Only Mothers would even attempt to CATCH vomit! Here's a few for ya....

 

[MOMOFMNM]

circus freak show:

she can tie herself into a human pretzel and serve it up to Zzubie...with the uneventful cheese soup...at her fav...LeCellier

thats her hidden talent I tell ya...that and a bad perm apparently..

dangit girl...you FINE in a black dress....

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Ok. I'm not gonna tell my REAL puke story right now. Even though you tagged me La La. (Thanks La La. You're my Fairy. I think. I wish you had Jessie's girl now, too.) But, anyway, I'm it now. I get it. I ALSO try to catch the kids' puke in my hands. I caught Calvin's at The Mandarin Chinese Buffet. Right at the table while everyone watched. He made these little squealing noises while he hurled which made Tommy laugh ~ REALLY hard. Which THEN caused Tommy to choke on his food and THEN... made Tommy decide to blow, too. But Mellyman opted NOT to catch. Moms do it. Dads... not so much.

 

[Shelby5514]

That's clearly... NOT ME, Shelbie.

Check out the watch.

And I'm a little more muscular.

Like this?

 

[MOMOFMNM]

[Hey, Polymelomom, saw your girls pics on Tikiman's website. How cool! You're famous Girl! Now, is your picture on there too or just the kids? Tikiman's got Melons on his website??????

NO but once again...I promise to deliver in August....

a pic no poly lover could refuse...truely. Just u wait.

I will get on there, some way.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

okay, just came in from court to change, but have to run out to get the kids from school/day care - just wanted to share with DisneyMommyMichelle that I had my very own pee incident this morning (we only had two, I think, when little man was a baby) . . .

So little man, who is only 22 months old, came to me this morning and said "Potty" (no, I'm not pressuring him, but another boy in his class is just about day-trained and Joshua is pressuring himself, at the ripe old age of 22 months)

I set him on the potty, AND HE WENT!!!

Problem was, of course, that since I am not a boy, and this is the beginning of potty training, that I haven't yet learned how to insure the right direction, so we had a nice little rainbow spray all over the bathroom. (Apparently I need remedial lessons - I didn't face a directional problem with the girl . . .)

Frankly, I didn't care, I'll clean it up frequently if I can stop buying diapers. And I wasn't dressed for court yet, so I didn't completely freak out.

There, braggin' on my little man -

Gotta go get him before they charge me extra!

 

[Chapter 11]

I'm at a loss as to who GB and SC are???????

Isn't it obvious? GB is George Bush:

SC is Shaun Cassidy:

No? Not so much. Well, I'm stumped then.

 

[LaLa]

Only Mothers would even attempt to CATCH vomit! Here's a few for ya....

Paslea Pooh! Thanks for the Fanny Packs! I love it! I'll have to make DH become a DISer and that can be his avatar!

Ok. I'm not gonna tell my REAL puke story right now. Even though you tagged me La La. (Thanks La La. You're my Fairy. I think. I wish you had Jessie's girl now, too.) But, anyway, I'm it now. I get it. I ALSO try to catch the kids' puke in my hands. I caught Calvin's at The Mandarin Chinese Buffet. Right at the table while everyone watched. He made these little squealing noises while he hurled which made Tommy laugh ~ REALLY hard. Which THEN caused Tommy to choke on his food and THEN... made Tommy decide to blow, too. But Mellyman opted NOT to catch. Moms do it. Dads... not so much.

I think my adenoid just functioned.

Yeah, DH doesn't catch either. I'm lucky if he doesn't puke too.

It never ceases to amaze me that when a child pukes in public, the entire family instantly become lepers. Like we are wearing a scarlet letter. P is for Puke.

 

[ZZUB]

Thanks to LaLa, Mel and Shelby, I'm down to a trim 155. Of course, the partners in my firm want to know why I need to replace my keyboard. Again. They want to know who keeps vomitting on it. I've blamed my secretary. She had it coming.

MommyP's butt squirting story is precisely the reason I don't check this ridiculous board during breakfast, lunch or my afternoon snack anymore.

Mel: you know I think you're a total loon, right? I mean the stalking thing is, how do you say it, creepy dee and all, but I reckon you and I need to join forces against Horsegirl. Here's why:

You have insinuated that I look like Gary Sinese. Horsegirl says she doesn't like Gary Sinese. Therefore, Horsegirl doesn't like Zzub.

To which I say, What did I ever do to her?!!!!

Farting head on a moped. Still feels right to me.

 

[paslea_pooh]

GB is Gerard Butler....Phantom of the Opera.. the movie..

Horseypoodleypoohgirl..Am I right?...

 

[Chapter 11]

P is for Puke.

And C is for Cookies (as in toss your ....). And don't be hatin' on dads -- I've caught a fair amount of vomit these last 8.5 years. Better than cleaning it off the carpet. My wife on the other hand, won't do that. She just lets it hit the carpet, and then tells me to clean it up. Makes me long for hardwood floors.

 

[LaLa]

Thanks to LaLa, Mel and Shelby, I'm down to a trim 155. Of course, the partners in my firm want to know why I need to replace my keyboard. Again. They want to know who keeps vomitting on it. I've blamed my secretary. She had it coming.

Again, with the functioning of the adenoid. Hey, who came up with that anyway? Mel or ZZUB?

And Mel's right. I can never catch ZZUB's green light on either. Come on ZZUB, stay and play awhile. We'll getcha down to 150 by the end of the day.

 

[kpk89]

Freak show Mel. Is your hidden talent being able to eat fire? You set yourself on fire often enough.

Am I close?

 

[Shelby5514]

GB??? Gary Busey???

 

[LaLa]

And C is for Cookies (as in toss your ....). And don't be hatin' on dads -- I've caught a fair amount of vomit these last 8.5 years. Better than cleaning it off the carpet. My wife on the other hand, won't do that. She just lets it hit the carpet, and then tells me to clean it up. Makes me long for hardwood floors.

Sorry to offend, Chapter 11. Although, your woman sounds like she's got it figured out.

Oh, but the worst has got to be the middle of the night puke. Nothin' like being awakened to a jet shot of puke coming out of your child. DS came to our room one night and went straight to his dad's side of the bed.

DS: Daddy, I don't feel so good.
DH: Go tell your mother.

DS turns to go around the bed and then we find out the meaning of the word projectile. Or at least DH does because it shot all over him. Heh Heh Heh. Serves him right. Yeah, he got it dead in the face. It was on the bed. Under the bed. On the ceiling. The light fixtures. The bathroom down the hall. In the attic. Our neighbor's front porch. Okay, maybe not there, but everywhere else. We were up till three washing and wiping and laughing. Yes, laughing. We're weird like that.

Okay, Mel. You go.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Then the GLOVES ARE OFF.

Here we go ~

I am a sword swallower. Just as long as it's a plastic toy one and doesn't have sharp edges. I can also swallow other things... and bring them right back up. Without puking. (this is a pukeless story! Sorta!)...

Background: As a child I was INTRIGUED by Freak Shows. And circus acts. And that... combined with wanting to run away from home and the Beloved Despised General... made me want to join the circus. And travel. A spirit of adventure combined with a very strong will made me practice swallowing package after package of licorice whole... and pulling it back up at the very last instant. Intitially there was gagging and puking but I perservered. Now I am a veritable Party Trick. Seriously. I am a sword swallower. Licorice. String. Rope. Beads. Bring it on.

I know. I know. I've heard EVERY dirty joke. About it. On the planet. Most come from my own DH. But... it's true. And I was famous for it at University Keg Parties. And now, little kids' birthday parties. Christmas. The cottage. Yada, yada.

A loon?

I think NOT.

Now... someone else go.

And... I only set myself on fire for ZZUBie and Horseponybabygirlie.

 

[sheridac]

Whew! So much going on in the 20 minutes it took me to get home.

Mel - hidden talent - at first I thought, girl with a tail. But then, I realized you wouldn't want pictures from behind. Or, perhaps you would.