The Ma'am / Miss Debate

[disneychrista]

I over heard a conversation between co-workers (1 male & 2 females) today about calling a woman ma'am and whether it is offensive or not. Or really more to the point if woman get offended when they are called ma'am. I don't get it. Ma'am is supposed to be sign of respect.

My personal guideline on this is if the person is younger than you they are "miss" and if they are older than you they are "ma'am." But in reality I rarely if ever use either term.

What do you think? Is it offensive to call a woman ma'am? Do you (women) get offended by being called ma'am? Have you (men) ever offended someone by calling them ma'am?

 

[DLgal]

Well, how do you know how old someone is?

 

[low-key]

If I call you Maam I am saying you are 100 years old

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I am 100% over the "Offensive" culture. I held a door for a woman and she screamed at me "I don't need no man to hold the door" so I let it slam in her face. I've hit the point in my life where I really don't care if I "offend" anyone anymore.

 

[fly girl]

I over heard a conversation between co-workers (1 male & 2 females) today about calling a woman ma'am and whether it is offensive or not. Or really more to the point if woman get offended when they are called ma'am. I don't get it. Ma'am is supposed to be sign of respect.

My personal guideline on this is if the person is younger than you they are "miss" and if they are older than you they are "ma'am." But in reality I rarely if ever use either term.

What do you think? Is it offensive to call a woman ma'am? Do you (women) get offended by being called ma'am? Have you (men) ever offended someone by calling them ma'am?

No, I do not find it offensive. I prefer "miss" as my ego likes the deception that I am younger, but "ma'am" isn't offensive.

There are a lot more words for a female that I cannot type on here that are truly offensive.

 

[Jennasis]

Ma'am doesn't offend me.

I was working one day and a customer wanted my help with something so he SNAPPED his fingers at me an when I didn't respond to him he called "hey sweetheart"...

I poked my head over the counter towards him and said "Excuse me? Were you calling me? Did you need my help? If so, I have a name, it's on my name tag and it is not *snapped fingers at him* or sweetheart. But ma'am will also do."

He turned 100 shades of red, stuttered an awkward apology and shrank in his seat as I helped him with his issue.

 

[Southernmiss]

Deep South here. Ma'am and sir are taught early and expected.

 

[Disneylover99]

I’ve been called ma’am for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t bother me.

 

[Shellsbutt]

I am amused when someone calls me Miss(I'm 49 years old) and I'm also not offended when someone calls me Ma'am. How are you supposed to address a person when you don't know their name? Hey You! People get butthurt over the silliest stuff sometimes.

 

[disneychrista]

Well, how do you know how old someone is?

You can't tell in general if someone is older or younger (or I guess around the same age) as you?

 

[Kittyblue]

I don't hear ma'am or miss much, but I don't mind ma'am. I get super excited when I'm IDed for booze, though

 

[disneychrista]

I get super excited when I'm IDed for booze, though

I laugh (inside) when I am ID'd because I know that the bartender is trying for a bigger tip. I'm 48. I look no where near "under 30." I bartended for years at a local brewery and I learned early on that the only people who get offended by asking for ID are the ones who are barely legal (22 - 23 yo's)

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I over heard a conversation between co-workers (1 male & 2 females) today about calling a woman ma'am and whether it is offensive or not. Or really more to the point if woman get offended when they are called ma'am. I don't get it. Ma'am is supposed to be sign of respect.

My personal guideline on this is if the person is younger than you they are "miss" and if they are older than you they are "ma'am." But in reality I rarely if ever use either term.

What do you think? Is it offensive to call a woman ma'am? Do you (women) get offended by being called ma'am? Have you (men) ever offended someone by calling them ma'am?

I don't find either term offensive.

And I, also, am so over the "I'm offended" attitude that's so prevalent today.

 

[Kittyblue]

I laugh (inside) when I am ID'd because I know that the bartender is trying for a bigger tip. I'm 48. I look no where near "under 30." I bartended for years at a local brewery and I learned early on that the only people who get offended by asking for ID are the ones who are barely legal (22 - 23 yo's)

Oh me too, but I still eat it up

 

[Lizgistix]

I poked my head over the counter towards him and said "Excuse me? Were you calling me? Did you need my help? If so, I have a name, it's on my name tag and it is not *snapped fingers at him* or sweetheart. But ma'am will also do."

You're my new hero.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I guess I’ll be the first to say it, I don’t really like being called ma’am. It’s not necessarily that I find it offensive, but I associate the word with old and dowdy. I also find it uncomfortably deferential.

Some people thinks it more polite than miss. It’s not like I ever say anything, I just cringe on the inside like a winner.

I kind of wish we could be like some sci-fi shows/movies where Sir is non-gendered. The whole Miss/Ma’am debate wouldn’t be an issue (same for Miss/Mrs/Ms) if all this stuff for women wasn’t based on age and/or marital status.

 

[Lizgistix]

It doesn't bother me at all if I'm called ma'am.
and in regards to what someone else said, I would never snap at a man for holding a door open for me. I was raised to be polite and say thank you. There have been times when guys don't hold it for me when I'm leaving with my arms full so I just say "it's cool, I got it!" Heck, I've even held doors open for people WITH my arms full: push it open with my arm, step to the side and hold the door open with my foot.

 

[Lizgistix]

I learned early on that the only people who get offended by asking for ID are the ones who are barely legal (22 - 23 yo's)

I love getting carded at my age!
"Do you have ID?"
"HECK YEAH I DO!"

 

[ndelaware]

I have never called any woman I've ever met "ma'am".

Ma'am, sugar, and honey are not terms I would use to address someone with respect.

 

[disneychrista]

and in regards to what someone else said, I would never snap at a man for holding a door open for me. I was raised to be polite and say thank you.

During normal times I agree. While I don't "need" a man to hold open the door for me (it is usually a guy) I do find it a nice gesture. Right now I would rather that person not hold open the door for me and have said to them "Thank you, but I got it."