The Inlaws: It's ALREADY started

[Inkmahm]

After 3 or 4 "in-law" vacations...we now have a rule. A LAW, really. No more vacationing with in-laws. It was okay, but not fun. We work hard to take our vacations and want to enjoy them our way, not worrying about what picky in-laws want. Really consider whether it is worth it or not. It's alot of money to have just an okay time.

Good luck with your planning.

Vacationing with ILs doesn't have to be bad! I had a great time spending two weeks in Alaska with my ILs last year and my DH spends two weeks every year with my mom when we vacation as an extended family. Of course, it helps if you like your ILs to start with. It can work though.

 

[4 Little Bears]

Another thing you could do is more sinister; have the kids talk about their favorite things to do and give grandma/grandpa the scope of things instead of you.

I agree with this. Surprisingly, anything DD14 and DS12 wanted to do, the grandparents were willingly to try at least once.

Two of the three trips to disneyworld my family has taken have been with extended family--grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, inlaws and half a dozen cousins. There are moments when I would like it to be just my family of four at disneyworld, but I also know we would miss sharing it with the rest of the family.

 

[crisi]

I like Birnbaums for first timers. It isn't information dense, has pictures, and has a consistantly positive, upbeat spin - everything at Disney is magical.

There are a few approaches to guests - they can be blended.

1) The "host plan/ all together now." This approach is that you are the Disney expert and tour guide. You'll do the vast majority of planning - asking everyone for small amounts of input if they are even willing to give it (like pick a restaurant - or everyone pick one "must" in each park.) It works best when your guests are easy going and planning adverse and willing to let you be the expert. And when you, as the expert, make an effort to take your guests personalities and wants into account. I've done it - its a little too much together time with friends and family than I like - and while I try for taking personalities into account, sometimes I miss. Your guests have got to agree to put their fate in your hands or you end up with....

2) The "we plan/all together now" - this is the model where you ALL plan (or some plan) but you ALL get say on ALL the decisions and you stick together. This is my least favorite - I think it ends with a bunch of people standing on Main Street arguing over whether to do Dumbo or Space Mountain first while Uncle Bob holds the map upside down and wonders where the Shamu show is and Aunt Sue complains that the dinner reservations she had no opinion on three months ago are not at all where she wants to eat, and couldn't you eat in the castle?

3) The "divide and conquer" model. This is where you decide that you'll do some things together - like dinner every day. Or every other day. Maybe a midweek pool day. You make those reservations, then you divide up as you wish to to go do other things. If everyone wants to do the same thing - great. If groups want to go do different things - even offsite - that's fine too. This is my favorite of the models. Its the easiest to get agreement on as well - since you propose it as "I'm sure you guys really won't want to sit outside the roller coasters while the kids ride"....or "I know you don't like to get up early on vacation, so we'll just meet up later." or "Our kids are such different ages - you guys are going to want to spend a lot more time in Fantasyland."

 

[dianeschlicht]

When we take along "inexperienced" guests, we have several "planning meetings". I usually provide a LOT of information from room layout and pictures of the resort all the way to menus at the sit down restaurants that are available and even park information. I usually include the Birnbaum book and the Unofficial Guide and the planning video. I usually send the books, planning video and resort info on ahead for them to puruse, and then we meet for one whole evening a few days later and "go through" it all. Then at the meeting, if your in laws still want to go off site, you might suggest a specific day to do that, and it might even be an extra day AFTER your DVC ressie, so you can be completely away from Disney at that time.

If you are going to be down for a week or more, I'd say take the "day off" in the middle. Just make sure they know there are a LOT of nice menus in a lot of nice restaurants without ever setting foot outside of Disney or even your own resort. I'm not sure where you are staying, but all DVD resorts have restaurants attached to them, and not just burger places. I can honestly say I NEVER eat a burger at WDW!

 

[dianeschlicht]

I forgot to mention that once we get there, our plan is to HOPE we can talk the guests into not spending every waking moment with us! We usually try to encourage small group break ups. It doesn't always work, and in the case of grandparents...probably wont, but anything is worth a try. You can even plan to let them spend an evening alone with the kids doing anything and going anwhere THEY want to. I the meantime, you and the spouse can take in a nice dinner alone!

 

[Starr W.]

When we take along "inexperienced" guests, we have several "planning meetings". I usually provide a LOT of information from room layout and pictures of the resort all the way to menus at the sit down restaurants that are available and even park information. I usually include the Birnbaum book and the Unofficial Guide and the planning video. I usually send the books, planning video and resort info on ahead for them to puruse, and then we meet for one whole evening a few days later and "go through" it all. Then at the meeting, if your in laws still want to go off site, you might suggest a specific day to do that, and it might even be an extra day AFTER your DVC ressie, so you can be completely away from Disney at that time.

If you are going to be down for a week or more, I'd say take the "day off" in the middle. Just make sure they know there are a LOT of nice menus in a lot of nice restaurants without ever setting foot outside of Disney or even your own resort. I'm not sure where you are staying, but all DVD resorts have restaurants attached to them, and not just burger places. I can honestly say I NEVER eat a burger at WDW!

That's very good advice Diane. Though do you run into "info overload" at times with your guests in the planning stages. I've tried to help my sister's neighbor who's going down over Xmas/NYE and she just looks at me with glazed eyes and tells me she doesn't need to plan or make ADR's(she hasn't been to WDW in years and it wasn't over the festive season).

As for the burgers, I think in 7 trips I've eaten a burger once, but that's because I felt llike one.

 

[dianeschlicht]

That's very good advice Diane. Though do you run into "info overload" at times with your guests in the planning stages. I've tried to help my sister's neighbor who's going down over Xmas/NYE and she just looks at me with glazed eyes and tells me she doesn't need to plan or make ADR's(she hasn't been to WDW in years and it wasn't over the festive season).

As for the burgers, I think in 7 trips I've eaten a burger once, but that's because I felt llike one.

Yeah, some of them will glaze over with info overload, but others really enjoy the information. I no longer invite people who don't "get it". It's too much work!

 

[corpcomp]

You are getting good advice. But pick the restaurants your immediate family wants to go to and give the in laws the menus and ask them which one they want to go to on which days.

We love:

LeCellier - best meat in Disney IMHO
Cape May - nice buffet
Beach & Cream - the dreaded burgers and fries
Boma
We also get a pizza one night after pigging out everywhere else on the Boardwalk.

Gaterland??? not on the first visit.

Let them rent the car and let them go where ever they would like - on their own.

 

[mom3sonstt]

We took my parents with us back in 1996. The kids were 3,5 & 7 and there was no Animal Kingdom yet. We spent the first 3 days together (1 park a day) and the rest of the trip we told them where we were going and they told us where they were going, we'd bump into them sometimes. Since our kids were so little we spent more time at Magic Kingdom, and they spent more time at Epcot - especially World Showcase. It worked well for us. And we both had the same expectations. My mom, before the trip, said something along the lines of "you don't expect us to spend all of our time with you do you?" I think she was afraid they were being brought along as babysitters. They have only been twice - once in 1977, and once in 1996. I've tried to talk them into going with us again, but they never seem to be able to.

 

[littlestar]

Having a car is not a bad idea. You could have the inlaws drive you to a grocery store and pick up snacks, etc., a lot cheaper than what you find at Disney onsite. Especially if you are trying to eat healthy, a car is a good idea. A lot of older folks really have to watch their salt intake, etc., because of health issues.

Also, there are some great local restaurants in Orlando that people that stay at DVC without a car never get to experience. Flippers Pizza at Crossroads next to Downtown Disney comes to mind - best homemade breadsticks I've ever tasted in my life (they even make their own marinara sauce homemade).

I wouldn't rule out some new experiences - Gatorland could be really fun for kids (especially boys). It might end up being something the kids remember forever.

Most people who are not familiar with Disneyworld just don't realize the scope of the place - just how big it is and how many parks there really are. They'll understand better after a stay on property with you.

 

[5forDiz]

WDW can be overwhelming for many grandparents even those who are

normally very active. jmho, what other posters here

have suggested re planning sessions is a MUST. We find when we travel

with GPs & other family & friends that everyone needs their "OWN TIME"

each and everyday - so don't strive to always keep

entire group together.

Plan each day which meal(s), attractions, parade, evening fireworks will

be the "all together activities"; we find planning for some in the morning &

some at night works best so that bulk of the day is open for every-

one to feel they can do what they want or don't want as they wish.

Well in advance, print TS & CS from Deb's site allears dot net so your

MIL & FIL can see there is much varietiy onsite, but there

are some good off-site places to dine too that can be nice change of pace.

 

[Dee77]

Just wanted to say good luck with planning and "WELCOME to DVC."

 

[Spacemonkaay]

...

 

[Starr W.]

Most people who are not familiar with Disneyworld just don't realize the scope of the place - just how big it is and how many parks there really are. They'll understand better after a stay on property with you.

That sounds like our next door neighbors, he thought it was like Cedar Point. Wife took our advice about park touring/fast passes. They stayed off-site.

Came back, wow WDW is huge!

 

[DenLo]

We recently had a family gathering in June at WDW. No matter how we tried we could not make everyone understand how much there is to see and do at WDW! So we gave an outline of what we planned to do to everyone. And then recommended that we meet once a day for a meal. Most were table meals except for the first night when we used the food court at a resort. However, each family had to make their own ADR's for a similar time (give or take 5 mintues). Then on the day of the reservation most arrived early and asked if they could put us all at one table or nearby tables. If they couldn't we'd understand. They always arranged one table, sometimes we had to wait several minutes, but it gave us time to tell each other what we have been doing and plan to do later. I think the first morning we did keep tract of each other closely but not after that.

One thing, perhaps your FIL is worried about all of the walking at WDW. There is a lot, I remember reading a post where an English gentlemen reported that they averaged 13 miles each day, he wore a pedometer.

If they really want to go somewhere else like Gatorland, be firm and say, FIL, this is our first DVC visit, we want our family to be together at WDW. If you and MIL want to go somewhere else that's okay. Of course, it would be best if his son, your DH told this fact but hey will that really happen? You could sweeten the pot and say, there will be other times on future visits we all can go to Gatorland with you FIL and smile.

Good Luck. And have fun on your first DVC trip!

 

[kaffinito]

Grin and bear it and don;t forget to keep the lines of communication open!

Not-so DB and very DSIL are going to be at WDW when we are, and we have two dinners and the dessert buffet planned together. Other than that we aren't even staying at the same resorts!

I do want to get together with my DN's and my DSIL, it's my pushy loudmouthed DB that I don't want to be around. Talk about ruining the magic!

Good luck and please don't forget to communicate clearly with them so they know what they are getting into at WDW!

 

[Boardwalker]

You have gotten some great advice about how to travel with family, use whatever works best for you. And remember, now that you are DVCers, you can relax a bit. You will be back next year, with or without your inlaws.
I hardly ever stress about missing something anymore, knowing that I'll do it next time. It makes traveling with family and friends lot easier... and you see things through different eyes if you let other people contribute their ideas. I was always a thrill ride commando but have really learned to relax and enjoy the live stage shows and parades because of trips with family.
Of course when I go without them, I still a race to ToT and SM first, but won't miss FotLK after my third time on EE.

 

[ILuvTigger]

As some of you know, I just sent in my $$ and contracts for our first DVC purchase this week, and am planning a trip with myself, my three kids and my in laws for next May's Star Wars weekend.

I told them that I was paying for the hotel, and since my father in law works at Air Canada, he can get cheap flights.

Yesterday at my son's baseball game, my father in law states, "Well, I'm going to rent a car, because it takes what, a day or two to see Disneyworld? And as for food, I don't want burgers and fries every day, so we'll need to find a good restaurant nearby."

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats and welcome home!

I hope all of you have a good time, and all of you find a happy medium.

This year is our first year taking family (FIL, MIL GramIL, SIL, her dh and their 3 kids (3, 2, and 3 months), all staying in a 2 bedroom, BIL, his dw (who is my sister), and their 2 kids (6 and 4), all staying in a studio, my dh, dd (17), ds (16) and I, we are staying in a 2 bedroom savanna), and after reading posts, makes me rethink what I did. LOL FIL is set in his ways, of what he wants to do....I think the key is letting them know ahead of time, of what you are looking to do. When we invited everyone for Christmas, we told them we would take care of the lodging, they would need to take care of food, travel, and their entertainment. If they were not able to go, just let us know 2 months before our ressie date. So far everyone is going. We do not plan on spending every day with them. We will meet up for lunch or dinner on certain days, but other than that, they are on their own. LOL Plus one day we plan on taking our goddaughter and 2 godsons to MVMCP. Dh says this is our vacation, we will not be able to make everyone happy, and we will not drive ourselves crazy trying to. I agree!! Hopefully when we sign in, our rooms are on different floors. They would let their kids run the hall to all of our rooms, that would drive me nuts.

Good luck!!

 

[yandbfan]

I feel you you. We brought my mother-in-law, father-in-law and my sister-in- law (thank goodness for her) on this last trip. Father-in-law needed a wheel chair (Disney is great about access and availability) and mother-in-law sweats: a real drip flop sweat sweating.
I warned her about July in Orlando. We hit Animal Kingdom in the morning about 9:00am and did the nature walk shaded activities and packed water. We survived by walking into gift shops, and doing activities like Pangani Forest. My mother in law wanted to do the entire park based on our sheltered tour.
It is hard to convince someone older that we have their best interest at heart but once we hit a couple of those open concrete connecting heat trap circles during early afternoon, she did decide to head back to the hotel.

 

[littlestar]

That sounds like our next door neighbors, he thought it was like Cedar Point. Wife took our advice about park touring/fast passes. They stayed off-site.

Came back, wow WDW is huge!

Yeah (laughter). We've had people say, oh, it's like going to Kings Island - a day max. At that point, I hand them 4 park brochures, a Downtown Disney brochure, a Boardwalk brochure, two water park brochures, and the golf course info, and watch their mouths hit the floor. Then I say none of this info includes anything on Seaworld or Universal Studios by the way.