Hey there!
We're back from the Northwoods.
Yes.
Again.
And, I'm glad to see that while I was away a bunch of old friends, Vikings and troublemakers popped by. To say "Hey!" and light up my life.
Or not.
Anyhow... I'm glad to see that some of you haven't given up on Me(l) and this TR yet. And also those pesky acronyms (NOZZUB) were FINALLY solved.
NOSorsha.
NOStinkerbell.
You can thank my crunchy mate Celery. For that. NOT Me(l).
Heh heh.
Cheers, Celery!!!
Ok...dim the lights. Dimmer. DIMMER! There. Very dim. NOLaLa.
On with the show:
We finished and enjoyed our drinks in the bar. Well... I enjoyed and then finished mine. Mellyman pretty much just finished his while pretending it was a nice cold draft.
He's pretty good at that sort of thing. BTW.
He'll take what he's dealt. And try to put a positive spin on it at all times. Sometimes by pretending. He's pretended that the dinners my General has served are actually edible. He's pretended that our dirty old van is MUCH less dirty than it actually is. He's pretended NOT to pass gas in the dirty old SMELLY van... while powerlocking us all in. And smiling. He's pretended to, actually, READ these trip reports of mine. And to KNOW what DED, ZZUB and "locked down" means. When I speak of it.
But... most of all and quite often... he pretends I'm a NICE, tall, blond lady.
Who's mute.
Then, again, I'm pretty handy with the sign language. Just ask all the other drivers on the 401. And a couple of stuck-uppity folks. At the Grand Floridian.
Heh heh.
Ok. We finished up and so did the kids. We realized that the FAT RAIN. Would NOT be stopping any time soon. It was, if possible, raining even HARDER. Rain was pouring off the roof of the WL. In rivers. In buckets. In pools.
K?
See:
It was coming down so hard that for an instant I considered building an ark.
Then I thought: Whew! Too much work. Drowning is much easier.
I think the very same thought when out on the boat and have left my lifejacket on shore.
Or do I?
Let's take a page from Mellyman's book and pretend that I'm Safety-Conscious Mel. And that... that was a little funny.
Anywho... we looked around the lobby. Were really impressed again. It's LOVELY:
Then, in this rugged environment, we felt the Call of the Wild Grift(shop).
And headed inside to spend foolishly. As we are wont to do at Disney.
Beth headed over to borrow free DVDs from the DVC collection. As is our right. And privilege.
We don't GET extra towels and turn-down service. Being DVCers. But we DO get DVDs, BAYBEE!!!
She rented High School Musical and another Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Farce.
Which made me want to get all hot and sweaty building an ARK. Afterall. Just so I could exclude Troy Bolton, Chad Danforth, Zack and Cody from the Ark's ADR list.
Sorry! You've double-booked this reservation and I'm dropping your FIRST ADR. You're outta luck with the ARK! You'll have to fight to the death for Mel's forgotten lifejacket!
My money is on Troy Bolton tho. He's got all the fancy effete and vixenish moves.
Sadly.
It's not that I don't LIKE High School Musical... it's just that it is NOTHING like MY highschool. Was.
And, also, I'm bitter. I was cut from the My Fair Lady Production. Early on. For missing a couple of practices, general mayhem and not singing very well.
But... Beth really likes HSM. And I appreciate the lesson which they try to impart. And the fact that the cast is pretty darn wholesome. And it's "fun". For pre-teens. And she has SEVERAL posters up in her room. Of the cast. And Troy Bolton himself. For some unknown reason.
I don't get it... what happened to putting up posters of Clint Eastwood and Winston Churchill? Like I did?
But I wince at the poor "Romeo and Juliette" attempt. And I, literally, want to poke both my eyes out and rip off my ears when Troy sings "Start of Something New".
I'm trying to describe it here... while being politically correct as always... but all I can come up with is:
It is SO completely and thoroughly ASININE.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Ok.
So... Troy, Chad, Zack and Cody are OFF my ark. As is the CM who "upgraded" us to the Premium Dumpster View.
But... I'll tell you who is ON the boat: Chip and Dale! The Chippendales. As we are wont to refer to them.
But only in the form of the little bags of Chip and Dale Snak Mix. That they sell at Disney. It is DELISH! While Beth and I can't agree on Troy Bolton... we completely agree that the Chippendalemix is the BEST SNAK... in Disney!
So we have several bags of Snak Mix on the ark. Not the actual squirrels, themselves.
Oh... how I miss Delswife! Sometimes.
We bought several bags of it and headed back the OUTLOOK way to our room without a view.
Here is Calvin doing the Koala down the LONG LONG deserted hallway:
And here is Tommy running away from his parents who are whispering "REDRUM".
And laughing amongst themselves:
Although it appears from the photo that he's running towards us... he was actually doing The Moonwalk.
Where?! You may ask yourselves? Is BETH?!!!!
During all this Koalaing, REDRUMING, laughing and Moonwalking?!!!
She was following behind us all... at quite a distance. On the phone. Trying to see if Angelina Joli and Brad were interested in adopting another disadvantaged child.
She'd previously passed on Madonna. B/c we all think the Kabbalah red string thing is annoying.
We got back to our room. And broke out the snacks. The crackers, the juice, the CAN 'O CREAM CHEESE, the Chippendalesmix, a real beer for Mellyman. And an American beer. For Me(l).
The kids put the DVD on and jumped up on the bed with their food. To watch.
Mellyman and I headed out to our view as the rain appeared to have finally abated. We sat back, enjoyed the sights which included a CM driving up in a little golfcart-like vehicle. From which he pulled four big nasty leaking bags of garbage. Threw them into a dumpster. And then proceeded to hose down the mess. From inside his cart, the pavement and his boots.
We drank beer, belched and cheered him on.
Or did we?
Then we decided to start firing people through the shower. In order to get ready for our dinner ADR.
I had made a special SECRET ADR for our first official Disney meal. And I wanted us to look and smell good and be early. For it. For a change.
I headed into the room and found plenty of cheese where it shouldn't have been sprayed.
And... if THAT isn't a sentence I never thought I'd type... I don't know WHAT is?!
Cleaned up and popped out to the balcony to speak to Mellyman. I offered to sleep on the pull-out with one of the kids. If he wanted the bed.
No reason.
Went back in and told Beth to hit the shower.
I told the boys to stop hitting each other and I grabbed my phone.
To call The General. And check in.
Ring. Ring. Ringetty ding.
The General: Hello.
Me(l): Hello, this is Dr. Mengele's office calling. You missed your last appointment.
The General: MELANCHOLY!
Me(l): Hey.
The General: Is everyone alright?! Are you there?! What's wrong?!
Me(l): Yes. All fine. The kids are great, so excited. Mellyman is sitting on our patio... taking in the beauty of the place. We're just getting ready to head out to dinner. OH. The Wilderness Lodge is AWESOME!!!! We love it and...
The General: Oh. That's good. Goodbye now.
Click.
Heh heh.
We finished up with our showers and headed down to the dock.
We were taking a boat.
Somewhere.
I wouldn't tell the kids. I said that they had to guess.
They guessed: Chef Mickey's, 'Ohana and The Grand Floridian.
Wrong. Wrong and. Wrong.
We docked at Fort Wilderness and STILL... they had no idea.
Calvin asked me if I was Prank Patrolling them.
Nope.
We're eatin' HERE.
We headed over to the Hoop de Doo!
Checked in, got the photo taken and got into our line.
Still they didn't have a clue.
Well... I think Beth did.
But the boys couldn't have cared less. They found some bales of hay to climb and play around in. And were satisfied.
We waited for about a half an hour and then entered with the masses of Hoopers. De Dooers.
To hoop it up!
Our table was pretty close to the stage. But around the side. Behind a post.
The LUCK of the Kurds! Strikes again.
We gave the best three seats to the kids so they could see. Something.
And angled our own chairs to get a better view of the stage.
Our waiter came by and said hello!
We had salad and cornbread on the table already.
He took our drink orders.
Pop for the kids. While Mellyman ordered a beer. And I attempted to.
No BEER for Me(l)!
Our waiter asked for my ID!!!!
MWAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!
I laughed. Hard.
No.
No?!
He was serious. He said he had to see everyone's ID. For alcoholic beverages.
"Well, what about HIS?!" I asked, pointing at Mellyman.
"I don't need to see his."
"But... but... you said 'everyone's'?"
"He's clearly of age."
"But... I'm his WIFE! These are my children!" I muttered.
Mellyman piped up, "Either THAT... or she's my underage girlfriend."
And then he giggled.
Geez.
I started looking for my ID. No dice.
Not in my wallet.
Our waiter kinda laughed and walked away.
Mellyman kinda laughed and stayed put.
I finally found my health card. My OHIP card.
With my birthdate on it.
When the waiter came back I showed it to him. And he accepted it as ID.
I ordered MY FREAKIN' BEER. Finally.
And, ironically, was using my HEALTH CARD... to score a drinky-poo.
Heh heh.
It's all good, tho, in MODERATION!
As we started eating Mellyman and I were laughing about the whole fiasco.
He said that a.) I should be flattered.
b.) That the light was pretty darn dim.
c.) That I was his young TROPHY wife.
d.) That creeped him out some.
e.) If I was his TROPHY wife... then I'd have to start referring to him as my POWER MATE!
As if.
Cheers, Mel.
Oh... here's a picture of my POWER MATE. And his MUCH YOUNGER wife:
Heh heh
And it was a really short walk to MGM, too, so it's all good. Next trip, I'm going to request a view of the sewer pumping trucks at the AK. Even though our ressie is at BCV. Should be fun to see what we get.
Feisty Kitty today!!
Let's keep dreamin' kiddios! 
Where was your ID? Did you lose it?
What room number was that again?
