The five happyhaunts headed out.
A few quick stops: locker, towel bin, return the locker key and bathroom breaks.
Lunch has kicked in and Tommy spends 10 minutes in the bathroom. While I stand there getting bored. And boreder. Er.
I decide to amuse myself by making animal noises.
I make Tommy laugh, behind the door, with my kitty noise.
Then I make myself laugh with my cow noise.
And also yelled, "SLAP!"!
Just for old timesake.
Then I scare another guest out of the bathroom with my Bengal Tiger.
That also startles Tommy and hastens the process.
I think.
Then I make a chimp noise. A lone wolf.
And... decide that I'm really being an idiot. And I should probably can it. Right now.
Instead...
I decide to go with the bunny noise for the Grand Finale.
B/c they don't make noise. Unless they're chewing up your leather pumps in the closet. Or the cord to the T.V.
In that case... they make a bit of a spark too. NOPETA.
We head back outta the washroom and meet up with the others.
We've had fun so far today. We all agree, tho, that TL couldn't BE any hotter. So we decide to head for another pool. At our hotel.
The Stallion is still in the front row. Where we left him. We pile in and head out. It takes a little bit of time to get out of TL's clutches. And sweat. And patience.
The line of cars, buses and whatnot coming in from the road is endless.
We sit in the hot car. Waiting to feel the air conditioning.
Calvin: Put your hand up if your butt is sweating.
(Six hands go up)
Calvin: MOM! You're not allowed to vote twice.
Me(l): Sue me.
Calvin: Dad, can I sue Mom?
Mellyman: Get in line.
Tommy: Put your hand up if you want to sue Mom.
(Three hands go up)
I feel kinda hurt.
Heh heh.
I look at Mellyman.
Me(l): You don't want to sue me?
Mellyman: I'm hot. I'm tired. I'm stuck in traffic in a hot car. Frankly, I'd like you to shut it for once.
Ok.
Calvin: Put your hand up if you want Mom to...
Mellyman: ENOUGH!
We headed back to the VWL.
WELCOME HOME!!!!
Calvin: Put your hand...
Mellyman: CALVINNNNN!
We valet the car and schlep our crap into the lobby. Turn at the griftshop and head back outside and down the path to the Villas.
I walk behind Mellyman commenting the entire way how cute he looks in his trunks.
Like this:
"Melly! You're cuter than The General. In those trunks."
"Melly! You're cuter than Woody Allen. In those trunks."
"Melly! You're cuter than Larry King. In those trunks."
"Melly! You're cuter than Mikhail Gorbachev. In those trunks."
"Melly! You're cuter than Kim Jong-il. In those trunks."
"Melly! You're cuter than Stephen Hawking. In those trunks."
No response until the last one.
Then he laughed, turned and said, "Ok. Now I'm suing you!"
Heh heh.
My work was done. There.
We entered the VWL and took the elevator up to our floor. Third.
We got out and it was DEAD silent.
Deserted.
Very REDRUM.
Calvin piped up, "Let's race, Beth! From here to our room. You go one way around around and I'll go the other."
Beth agreed. But first she wanted the two routes around the big balcony hole (?) measured out.
Mellyman did the honours.
It was equal distance.
I looked at Mellyman, "You wanna dance, too, Partner?"
He looked me, "No."
I smiled with my Evile Smile back at him, "Nut up, Cowboy!"
It was ON!
Except that now Tommy was sad that he had no one to race.
(Ok. This is the reason the happyhaunts have been in Disney for about three days now... and haven't got to any parks. It's b/c of stuff like this. We are the stupid game making, competitive, time-wasting happyhaunts.)
I told Tommy he could race with Mellyman up to the hall. Then slap my hand for the relay and I'd run the rest of the way for us.
Ok.
He was all in too.
To make it fair I loaded Mellyman up with ALL our gear. And topped him off with my hat.
Beth and Calvin got ready.
GO!!!!
They took off like cute lil fluffy bunnies with their butts on fire. NOPETA.
Then I went and waited by the corridor down to our room. Watching Beth and Calvin sprint down the LONG LONG DARK HALL.
Mellyman and Tommy got ready.
GO!!!!!
Obviously Mellyman was first and passed me heading towards our room.
Tommy reached Me(l). Slapped my hand and I was off.
Like ZZUB riding the waves of a number 4 to Canada!!!!
I got closer to Mellyman. He was a bite weighed down. Then launched myself at him.
Grabbing the back of his trunks. Which were, thankfully, tightly tied. And tried to haul him to the ground.
I never said I'd play fair. BTW.
He kept running. I ended up literally waterskiing behind him down the hall.
Literally. Except for the water part.
So...FIGURATIVELY...I guess.
We were both giggling. Beth, Calvin and Tommy were hooting so hard I was sure one of them would throw up.
Probably Calvin.
Only b/c we were standing on carpet. And he prefers throwing up on that instead of in the toilet or, even, on the tile. Floor.
Like our stupid cat.
Anywho... both Mellyman and Calvin won the races.
I got carpet burn on my feet.
We dumped our crap into our room and turned and headed to the pool.
Mellyman and Calvin and Beth went to score some loungers and Tommy and I headed over to the boat dock where we borrowed him a lifejacket for the rest of the week. Here.
We met back up and we all headed out to do the waterslide.
It was cute. Fine. OK.
We all did it a bunch of times. But it was NO TL.
Not big or scary enough.
For us.
Still it was fine for a hotel waterslide. And it wasn't a freaky Clown ZZUB one. Either. So it was all good.
I took a picture of the pool area:
It's REALLY a nice pool area. I LOVELOVELOVE the WL!!!!
We all swam for a while and then Mellyman and I headed to the loungers. And chilled out while keeping an eye. Or two on the kidlets.
In the pool.
Mellyman asked me if I felt like a beer.
OK.
Why not?
I couldn't BE any hotter!
I schleped to the bar. And got us each one.
Headed back.
Sat down to relax for a bit.
Tommy and Calvin got out of the pool to drip on me and tell me that Beth wasn't playing the Drowning Game fairly.
Oi vey.
That's when a VERY EXCITED kid ran up to his mother. Who was in the lounger beside me and yelled, "MOM!!! There's a big huge SNAKE on the path up to the washrooms behind the side! I think it's a poisonous one! There's a girl there making sure no one touches it!"
Calvin and Tommy looked at each other.
And I'm sure all they heard of that was, "Waaawaa wa wa...HUGE SNAKE...wawa waaawa...PATH...wa wa...BEHIND THE SLIDE...wawaawaa wa."
They took off like lightening.
I whipped my head around to look at Mellyman. Drinking his beer.
"MEL!!! Go with!"!!!
He looked at me, "NUT UP, Cowboy."
CRAP!!!
I was off after them. Pausing, of course, to grab the camera off my lounger.
I mean... how poisonous could it really BE?!
Tommy ran around the pool. On the path.
Calvin, however, decided to take a shortcut. And ran up to the pool where the little waterfall flow in. Hopped across the rocks like a billygoat. And kept running.
A CM yelled at him.
And didn't even get a pause. In Calvin's forward velocity.
For his troubles.
He took off after Calvin.
I followed. Across the waterfall. Thingie. On the rocks. Skipping across them while praying, "Don't fall. Don't fall." In my head.
In double time.
We all met up to see this:
And hear Calvin getting in trouble for illegally taking a shortcut. Of the safety violation sort.
And then, immediately, getting in MORE trouble for ignoring the CM's warning to leave the SNAKE ALONE.
As he tried to pick it up.
We watched the snake for a bit.
Until it moved.
And I screamed, involuntarily, and did a little dance.
And Tommy said, "Put your hand up if you're afraid of snakes."
I put my hand up.
Along with my other one. Two feet. And my uvula.
Cheers, Mel.
Don't be dishin' the dirt unless you...
Show me the Money! 
How far do you think they'll go? Is FL out of range?
Hey so was it full of poison or what?
