Part 23
Day4, Dec 14: After spending our kids' education funds at the Japan Pavillion buying gifts for my Mom for Christmas, picking pickles, and having a good stiff couple of drinks... we find the happyhaunts in Mexico. Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much on my Mom. But she has expensive tastes. And she's passed it down to me and, now, Beth. So... it was better to err on the side of caution and drop serious coin. DH disagrees. Couldn't we all just MAKE her something? Like muffins? Or a pillow? Or, perhaps I could just finish that Peanuts rug-hooking which I started in grade six... hum? Actually... I REALLY, REALLY shouldn't tell you this... but what the heck, I will: DH could MAKE her something if he REALLY wanted to be thrifty. 'Cause my big, strong, masculine, hockey-playing, beer-drinking DH is, also, a cross-stitcher! I said CROSS-STITCHER!!!!!!! Ha,ha,ha! Not... CROSS-DRESSER, mind you... but cross-stitcher! Although, both of those are equally as funny to me. I'm serious. Don't tell. Because it's his ONE really big secret from the rest of the world. And, truth be told, I found it to be ANOTHER one of DH's BIG surprises for me! A charming one. Really. His mother taught him as a child, had him do quite a bit of it and he was good at it. When I was pregnant with Beth, we had a little bit of an emergancy at one point in the pregnancy, and I had to be hospitalized for about a week. I was bleeding a lot and was only at 28 weeks along. I was very scared. To the point where I couldn't sleep. DH couldn't seem to get me to relax, laugh or eat. And finally, at wit's end, left the hospital and returned with a gift. He pulled out this little bag, opened it up, sat down and started to cross-stitch a little blue and white lamb picture. I STARED... for a long time. Then asked, "What the HECK are you doing?" He said, "I'm making this for our baby... because everything is going to be JUST FINE. Trust me, Mel. Trust the doctors. It's a lamb for our lamb." And he did. And everything was. Just fine. Plus, all the nurses mentioned what a WONDERFUL, AMAZING, SWEET husband I had. DH loved that. He likes nurses too. Thinks they're hot. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Off I went, again. So... back to Mexico. Where we're having margaritas, the kids are having ice-cream and/or slushies and Calvin is running around like a fool. I notice that he's ripped a new hole in the knee of his jeans. Before I can even form the words to ask how THAT happened, he stops, reaches down with both hands, hooks them in the tear and RIPPPPPSSSSS it WIDE open! His right knee and half his leg are now hanging out of the pants. "CALVIN! What do you think you're doing?" I holler. He sees me staring at him with mad eyes. Pauses. Then answers, "Well... my knee was hot." OHHHHH! I'm SO pleased that it's nice and cool now, then. That's 3 pairs down and three to go for anyone who's keeping score. DH sighs. We release Tommy from jail(stroller) and walk in formation through World Showcase, again. We do the ride in Norway called Maelstrom. Beth doesn't like it because of the trolls and the waterfall. We walk right through the film part and out the door. Then we stop briefly in Morocco so that Tommy can dance again and head for our homeland. The group Off Kilter, I think, are playing in Canada. They're pretty cool. And they're all pretty cute in their kilts, too. Tommy dances with another little boy. It becomes competitive. Oh boy! A DANCE-OFF! Just like in Grease. But less technically correct. At the end, the band asks for a hand for Tommy and his little buddy. It's cute. Then we go to The Land and, another favourite, Soarin'. We do it and it's wonderful. DH laughs because I always involuntarily lift my feet up when we glide over the river with the kayakers in it. And I love smelling the orange grove. The whole family really enjoys this one. And, in 4 out of 6 rides, we've gotten the front row. You heard me. Six times. Five times last trip and, so far, once this time. Yup. We're the reiterant happyhaunts. We love Epcot! And maybe there are some rides that stink in this park but, so far, we haven't gotten to them. Maybe by 2012. OHHHH. I take that back. We have made the mistake and experienced the horror of El Rio del Tiempo. The River of Time. Should be called "The River of a Waste of Time". It's like "It's A Small World" in Purgatory. But, WE THE HAPPYHAUNTS suffered through it twice. In a row. Because Calvin LIKED it. I'm sorry, but it is Bad. With a capital "B". However, I mean no offense to the natives of Mexico who may be reading this. Because... while I hate El Rio del Tiempo... I LOVE your national beverage which you call TEQUILA! I like it in a margarita, in a sunrise or straight up by the shot. Blessed juice of the blue agave! Now, if you take anything useful away with you from reading my blabber, let it be this: I am going to teach you how to drink a fine shot of tequila... and LIKE it! Forget the lemon and salt. Forget the lime. Forget everything you've been taught about tequila before. Fill a shot glass with GOOD quality tequila. Slam it back. And chase it with a wedge of orange sprinkled with a little cinnamon.
Now... THAT will shake your moneymaker! Best thing my friend Spot ever taught me! And, now, I fear I've strayed too far away from "The Magic"... and I must leave you for a bit.
To be continued.