The happyhaunts go South... the endless trip report!

[Pryncess'mom]

I can't wait for the rest!!

Keep it coming!

deb

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 13

Day 2, Dec 12: OK. Where was I when my sense of responsibility finally kicked in. Oh. I was telling you that I have "Talk to me" stamped on my forehead. It is true. Everyone and their mother talks to me. Or maybe I talk to THEM?! No matter. And, usually, I can tell who's gonna talk to me by just looking at a crowd. If they're old, alone, young, lost, hungry, strange, smelly or just plain insane... they're lookin' to chat with ME. I must attract them. Somehow. Pheromones. Or something. ASIDE alert! The classic tale takes place one day on the Toronto Subway System. When I was in university. Myself and my bestest of friends, Pooh-head, are in a mostly empty car. I know. Bad nickname. But SHE calls ME... The Blue Mountain Killer. So we're even. I'm a smeller. I don't close curtains. And I'm a TERRIBLE skier. I'm just not very co-ordinated. My Mom wouldn't let me run as a child. Anyway. The doors at a stop open, and two people enter. A large, mohawked, jack-booted guy. And a dishevelled old woman. Not together. Nothing connecting them. Except they both look, slightly, crazy. No offense. They both take a look around the mostly empty car. And come and sit with me. Both. They FLANK me. And start talking to me. As my bestest friend STARES at us from the facing seat. And they are smelly. Both of them. But we all have a nice chat. When we get off the subway at our stop, my bestest friend says, "Oh my. That was unreal! And, thanks!". True story.
Back to something you care about... Disney. So... Beth is blessed with the same forehead stamps as her mother. The magician picks her, immediately, to help him with his show. She is to be his assistant-magician. She is nervous. But thrilled. She is not an attention-seeker. Like Calvin. Well the man is FUNNY! FUN-NEE! Very. And a snappy dresser. He's got tight blue polyester pants with a high waist. And a black dress shirt. White suspenders. And a thin white tie. Very white. His pants are too short. White socks. Black dress shoes. OHMIGOD! I'm in love! I also have a GEEK-FETISH. I like geeks. They're smart. So... Beth gets to help him and he keeps making her "hold" balloons. Except... he doesn't tie the ends. And they keep flying away. Into the night sky. She is laughing SO hard. She is crying. So... I'm crying too. Because she's so happy. I can't express, with words, how much I LOVE this sweet, shy girl. She's precious to me. And she's SO happy. It's magical. My GOD! I love the Boardwalk! So we truly, truly enjoy his show. And wander some more. We all dance in the squishy side-show mirror. It makes us all look fat. And we're all pretty thin. Except for DH. He's not fat. He's just large. So he looks WIDE. VERY WIDE. Then we notice the store. AHHHHH! Calvin wants to shop. I immediately agree. Because I haven't shopped in a while, either. Not really. And I feel the need to waste DH's hard-earned money, too. We wander in and start looking. I tell DH that I want to see if there are "ride" shirts in the store. I tell him I need to buy a Gary shirt. DH looks at me. "Who is Gary?" He asks. "Who is this Gary guy you keep mentioning?" I smile at DH, "Your COMPETITION, baby!" DH says, "Calvin does not fall too far from the tree!" and walks away. Sometimes DH is lazy. And I exhaust him. DH does not want to play, tonight. I buy nothing because the store is too small to have ride shirts. Calvin is not allowed to buy anything, either, and we leave. I can tell the kids are starting to feel tired. Beth is trudging, again. And Calvin is bothering Tommy. Who is trapped in his stroller. By licking him. On the face. Tommy is bellowing in disgust. CALVIN! I tell him to stop because he is VERY close to a Fairy Timeout. The WORST of all possible timeouts... for a boy. This entails skipping around like a flitting fairy princess. A pink one. With wings. It's very feminine. Your arms must be high and tight with fluttery hands. And you must smile the WHOLE time. Calvin know I'm serious when I threaten him with this public punishment. It nearly always works. Nearly.

To be continued.

 

[CastMemberDWA]

OMG- I thought it was just me!
I too suffer from a stamp on the forehead....except mine says "TELL ME YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS"
Mine even works through the phone to complete strangers - I called to change my Nextel package yesterday and got in a lengthy conversation with the call in center gal about her life story. Crazy.

1000thHappyHaunt - your plight is mine - after reading your entries I am beginning to think that we are twins seperated at birth!

I enjoy reading your posts!

 

[smilie]

This report is hysterical!! What a way with words you have. Thank you so much for sharing this.

 

[Billmel]

Subscribing so I don't miss anything

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 14

Day 3, Dec 13: I awakened shortly after 8 o'clock in the morning... about 3 minutes shy of a full-blown, clausterfobia-driven panic attack. I had been dreaming about being trapped and discovered, upon waking, that I actually was. And I was sore and stiff. At some point in the night, or early morning hours, Beth and Tommy had managed to locate me in the bed and get as close to me as humanly possible. Beth was wrapped around my left side and Tommy was sleeping on my chest. Now... I love to snuggle with the kids as they head off into dreamland but, when I sleep, I do not care to be touched. And if I fall asleep with the kids, sometimes, I can put up with it for a bit... but not the WHOLE night. DH hates it. DH does not enjoy having the kids in our bed. Not as babies... and, most certainly, not now. And they sense that they must not touch him, EVER, in our bed. So they all pile on me. It's always a surprise to me just who I'll wake up beside in the morning. Sadly, it's never been Gary Sinise. So... I'm awake first this morning. And I have to get them all up and ready and happy... fairly quickly. We have to go meet Minnie and friends for breakfast at the Cape May Cafe. That means there will be lots of pictures. We have to be clean. And Calvin must be in pants which are not hanging off of him in shreds. Get up, people! They do. We make ourselves fairly respectable and head off to breakfast. I haven't told Tommy that we'll be meeting any characters. Just in case. Because he LOVES this part of Disney. It's fun for me(all of us!) to just watch him. The other two enjoy it very much, as well. But Tommy thinks it's REAL. He believes it all, utterly and completely. So we go have breakfast. It's very good. He has a wonderful time. The kids eat nothing but donuts, though. Great fuel for our long, long day ahead. This is the night we'll be doing Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party(MVMCP). It's bound to be a long day. And, we have to bring a large range of clothes with us, temperature wise. Because we have no plans to head back to the BCV. We already are loaded down with rain ponchos, my DVC knapsack, purse, cameras and sweatshirts. We have another bag of coats and gloves. The weather is calling for a cool night. I tell DH that we'll have to just rent a locker at the MK for the day. There's no way I want to carry everything we have for twelve hours. DH readily agrees. We head over to the MK. We park and take the monorail. This time when I see the castle I don't cry... that's only for the very FIRST day and the very FIRST sighting. Otherwise I'd be a moron. I think. We ended up wandering around aimlessly looking for the lockers. We've never rented one before and I seemed to remember them being in the Train Station when I was younger. Maybe they were, then? Don't know. Doesn't matter. But, for some reason, we just wander. Looking. Watching some guy paint the outside of the Station. He's singing as he paints. Which was kinda neat. 'Cause he was a pretty good singer. And he was singing Disney songs. And he seemed quite content to be singing and painting on Main St. One of those moments, again, for me. Disney equals happy people. Most of the time. Later on this day, during the MVMCP, we will experience the worse Disney moment of our lives. Thus far. Then, Disney equalled a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. But that was an anomaly. Thank God. That comes later, though. So far, the day is perfect. We're just moving slowly, for us, for some reason. We find the lockers and Beth starts looking at the few souveniers that are for sale in this little shop. It's a perfect way to distract DH from what I fear will be the outrageous price of renting a little tiny square of Disney real estate for the day. I'm right. I think it was $7.00. In US money. That's like, well, a lot more in Canadian dollars. For a locker! So I tell DH to help the kids and I go stow the stuff. Beth is looking at Minnie Ears... the headband style with the red and white bow. She wants them. I am, quietly, thrilled. Because it's not like Beth to be all crazy like that. She's a very conservative dresser. She likes blue clothing. In layers. Zipped right up. She doesn't seek attention of any kind. She hasn't even wanted a character shirt, before. Plain shirts for Beth. 'Course she sees the Disney garb that I wear. Can't blame her. I don't force the kids to wear the Disney t-shirts, hoddies, bathing suits or hats which I favour. Just DH. DH doesn't care. He'll wear whatever gets thrown his way. As long as it's not a real colour. Only black, grey, beige and dark blue clothing for DH. He's a plain dresser, too. Calvin, Tommy and I are different. Tommy is too young to know better and doesn't care, quite frankly, if he's wearing clothes at all. So... the point of this. Sorry. Is that Beth SURPRISES me with her sudden need to have EARS. And big fluffy ones at that. I'm going with it. But calmly. I don't want to get all excited and scare her off. Which would happen for sure. So I quietly suggest that we head up Main Street and look in a bigger store that has a much better selection of EARS... and THEN I'll buy her some. Yes. I'll buy them. She doesn't even have to spend her own money. Mommy will buy them. I mean... DADDY will buy them. She agrees and we head up the street. I tell DH that we're going shopping. He sighs. Now he knows he's going to be standing around on the street with Tommy... bored. At least there are things to watch in the MK. He won't be THAT bored. Calvin is, of course, in. Let the SQUANDERING begin!

To be continued.

 

[harleyquinn]

So that last post took place in about 2-3 hours real time? THAT'S AWESOME!!

I think I know more about your family than my own!!

Keep it coming!

 

[svioli]

This trip report has me on the floor! It's so well written, and it's almost like we're inside of your head Good thing? I don't know.

Anyway, I'm guessing there's no way you can crank these out so I can read ALL of them before we (me, DH, DD 10, DS 7 & DS 5) get on a plane tomorrow morning at the ungodly hour of 7:00 a.m. to go to DISNEY WOLD, for 8 wonderful days, can you???

Please???

oh well, I'll survive, I suppose.....

 

[Bonnie40]

Sooo good!

I couldn't help but wonder where you're located - especially when you mentioned African Lion Safari!

 

[gtrist4life]

Just posting to add to the many thanks for your very funny report.
You're blessed with a witty way of writing and I truly appreciate your posts.

These reports are the best way to beat the waiting till our next trips!

Thanks again!
Peace,
G4L

 

[disdancin]

I just have to add my 2 cents and tell you how much I am enjoying your reports. Love your kids. And I know what you mean about the ears...I was thrilled when my then 10 year old wanted them 2 years ago. She used them this past Halloween when she was Minnie Mouse! We are going back in April and your report is really getting me in the Disney mood!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 15

Day 3, Dec 13: Sorry to get your hopes up. 'Cause it really wasn't much of a squander. Beth, Calvin and I went into the big store on Main St. and looked at hats. Beth was convinced that she wanted the big fluffy Minnie Ears headband... and that Calvin should get something to "match". She spotted the fluffy Scorcerer's Hat headband right beside the Minnie ones and that was that. She wanted Calvin to get it. She called him over, showed it to him, fixed his hair and tried it on him. Now... this look didn't scream "Calvin" to me any more than the giant sombrero did. It screamed "Boy in a Girl Hat". He didn't look good. I mean, it's a HEADBAND! And it's furry. Now knowing Calvin, as you might think you now do, you probably wouldn't guess he'd go for the idea. But... there's something about Calvin that you need to know for me to explain this properly. Calvin DESPERATELY craves the attention, approval and affection of his older sister. He must have it, at all costs, to make him feel complete. If he can't make her happy... then, by God, he'll make her sad! As long as she pays him notice. So... she's all excited about this "matching" thing and he's willing to play along. Even though I can TELL he doesn't want to get the goofy headband. He'll wear it, though! In public. And let me take pictures. That his friends might see. See what I mean? DESPERATE. So I feel the need to save him from himself. I call him over, "Calvin. Do you really LIKE this?" I ask, "'Cause you know you don't HAVE to buy it just because Beth wants you to. She can help you find something you like better. Maybe in Frontierland. Or ANYWHERE." He looks at me, "Nope. Beth wants me to get it. So we match. I like it." Oh crap. This is gonna take some work on my part. I tell him to follow me and we go ask the CM at the cash register for his opinion. "Excuse me, sir, but do you sell alot of these to BOYS? His age?" I'm asking. "Well... no." Big shock there. "And," I ask, "Do you sell quite a few MORE to girls... than BOYS?" He answers in the affirmative. I look at Calvin... he looks at me... then Beth. Hummmm. "Beth?" He starts, " Can you help me find something else? Like in Frontierland? Maybe?" All the while I'm staring at her, hard, as in: YOU BETTER SAY YES IF YOU WANT TO SEE AGE 11! And say it with a smile! She agrees to help him find something else. Whew! DH would not have liked the look much, either. So we buy Beth's ears and get Tommy... a HEADBAND. Yes, yes, yes. I know. But he's so little. And so cute. And they were Tigger Ears. And last trip he saw them and wanted them. And I have a thing for Tigger, too. Excuses, excuses.... I know. We leave the store and find DH who is very pleased that we have only made two purchases. The problem remains, though. Calvin is getting mighty antsy to spend some coin. And it'll come back and bite us in the butt, later. I SHOULD have known! We stop for a group photo op with the castle in the background and carry on. To Tommorrowland! Or bust! The next problem follows: I want to do Stitch's Great Escape. All of us. Together. Because we've never done it before. But I'm worried about Beth. She's not going to want to, I fear. Because she's never done it before. So DH and I excitedly talk it up. Because he knows it's coming, too. We park the stroller and start to head towards it. Beth panics and suggests we go do Buzz Lightyear RIGHT NOW! DH and I look at each other. It's SO early in the day to ride the "Marriage-Ender"... too early. And, it's almost too early in the trip, as well. And I haven't mentally prepared myself for it, yet. So DH says, "Oh, come on, Beth! Look... the line is short. We can walk right in." And we do. We wait about 5 minutes and then walk into the pre-show. Beth grabs my hand. Squeezes hard and holds on. The pre-show ends and she wants out. Badly. Now. Ok. Ok. I look at DH. "I'm going go out with Beth and you guys finish the ride. Ok?" He agrees. Now we just have to find a way out. Because this is the STITCH ride. There are no "chicken" doors. Who does that? We do. There is a door at the back of the pre-show room that says, "Cast Members Only". We take it and head out. Into a hallway and smack dab into a Cast Member. "Hi! Please let us out of here." He leads us through the hallway and outside. He doesn't seem surprised, at all, to have caught us in there. So, maybe, it's not just us. Maybe lots of people have to escape after the pre-show. We ask him where the ride lets out and he tells us the giftshop next door. Oh. Should have known. Disney's best idea... ever. We head in to wait for the boys. We wait. And wait. And wait. So on. Until we get tired of standing and sit down on the merchandise shelf. We keep scanning the crowds of people exiting for three people we know but can't see them. How in the WORLD did they get lost? Or, maybe, it's us? Hummmmm.

 

[nemoid]

Okay, I must subscribe! How I wish I could entertain so much when I write. You really do have a gift! Keep up the reports, they make my day!

 

[thelionqueen]

Can't wait for more!

 

[BONITATIME]

I don't remember the last time I laughed so much I cried. Thanks you so much for sharing your trip and you menus with us.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 16

Day 3, Dec 13: Well. MY GOSH! So... half of our group is lost. Slightly more than half... but I don't do fractions. I'm pretty sure it's not Beth and I. Because we're smarter than the boys. Just kidding. I think. Anyway... the fact of the matter is: Usually, it's the MEN of the family leading the rest of us astray. So, in a huff, I go off and check out the stroller or "home base". I know that however distracted or busy or excited or confused they get... the men can always find "the stroller". It's because it looks like our van. It stands out in a crowd. Especially in a crowd of identical Disney-Rent-A-Plastic-Piece-Of-Mobile-Crap strollers. With everyone's name on the back. Ours is "special". It's dirty. For one. Dirtier than the Disney strollers I just made fun of. What was I thinking? And, it's broken. The brakes don't work. So we can PARK it anywhere we like. We just can't FIND it in the same place. But we know where it is. Inevitably. DOWNHILL. From where we parked it. And it's full of crap. Ours. Anyone wanting to steal it would be crazy. 'Cause our stuff is dirty too. Like the DVC knapsack. Nice bag. Cute little Mickey Sniff Glove.(that's a WHOLE other aside... remind me!). However, I attract fully loaded seagulls in the same way I attract people. So... it has a remnant or two of seagull poop on it. From the beach. I like the beach. Could live there. In a bikini. I'm a fair-skinned, sun-loving, cancer-seeking Irish girl. I'm a smeller. I don't close curtains. And I'm a TERRIBLE skier. That's me. In a disturbing nutshell. I have freckles on my freckles and my dermatologist on speed-dial. Over. Where was I? Ok. The stroller. Home base. They're not there. Where are they? We wander. We watch a tragic family scene. Child dropping ice-cream. Parents unwilling to invest in another. I hate that. So... finally, we FIND them. They were looking for us. We were in the wrong part of the giftshop. Apparently, the ride must let out in two places. We were in the first section. They came out in the second part of the store. Who knew? That's what DH claims, anyway. They are happy to finally see us. As are we. THEN... I have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. I say, "Well... I have reservations for lunch. At the Grand Floridian. Beth and I are going to go. We'll meet you later." I smile. 'Cause I'm really excited. Beth looks at me and says, "OHHHHHHHHHH. Do I HAVE to go? Can't I stay with the boys?"... I'm suddenly, crushed. I feel upset. This was going to be GOOD. Why can't she tell? I repeat myself again. She still doesn't get it. So I finally have to spell it out for her. "Beth" I say, " I made reservations for you and I to have tea together. All by ourselves. At the Grand Floridian. Like you have been ASKING me to do for 2 months, now!" I didn't tell her. I told her I couldn't get an ADR. She was bummed. OHHHHHHH! Her face lights up. She's happy. She didn't get it. I was too obtuse.

To be continued.

 

[jeancbpugh]

DH says he knows where the restaurant is. So we drive, and drive and drive. We drive for 20 minutes, not finding it, before I ask DH "Melly, are you SURE you got those directions right?" DH says, "Yup!" and I ask to see them. He won't let me. Now, just an aside here... DH gets lost when he drives. A lot.

Get him a Garmin GPS. My DH got one from Best Buy. It is fantastic. It was about $600 but the thing is worth its weight in gold. Imagine your DH not getting lost...

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?type=category&id=cat03099

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Get him a Garmin GPS. My DH got one from Best Buy. It is fantastic. It was about $600 but the thing is worth its weight in gold. Imagine your DH not getting lost...

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?type=category&id=cat03099

HAAAA! HA! HA! WHOOOOOEEEEEE! This is the FUNNIEST reply... so far. I think you're RIGHT on the BALL. 'Cause strangely enough, DH was asking for one for Christmas. HE WANTS ONE! I should have jumped at the idea. But, I don't think he'd use it appropriately... like to find the mall, or the kids' school... or where he works. Or to get home after a poker nite with the boys. Just for HUNTIN' and FISHIN'. Thanks for the laugh, tho.

 

[VanniGirl]

Thanks for more laughs - waiting for the next installment!

 

[TeresaNJ]

Oh no!! I'm at the end already?? I'll have you know that I was up waaaayyy past my bedtime last night because of finding your trip report!!!! I am so exhausted this morning, worked 12 hour days back to back on Tuesday and Wednesday in a hellish ER, was in a coma all day yesterday because of it, couldn't do anything all day but sit and DIS surf, and I find your trip reports at 11pm!! At midnight I had to tear myself away, and what am I doing first thing this morning, all the while squirming cause I have to do "you know what" but I can't tear myself away??? Well, I guess I should be thanking God there's nothing left to read because at least now I can go relieve myself!!

Thanks so much for the entertainment!! You had me laughing out loud so many times, and I truly "get" the Gary Sinese thing. He really isn't good-looking, is he, but ohhh so sexy!!

We leave for Disney on Sunday, so I am subscribing so I don't miss a thing.