The happyhaunts go South... the endless trip report!

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Ahhh, a nice and detailed report. What a nice escape. I found myself writing the same type of reports on my first two trips last year. I got some great feedback from everyone and it kept me going with the reports. Thanks for the read!! :thumbsup2

You can check out some of my stereo "audio trips" through the park if interested. Follow the links in my sig below.
 
Disclaimer: This is going to offend EVERYBODY. So be it. The name of this aside is: Body Wars~Two Exits...Everyone OUT!

Anyone out there ever heard of the Norwalk Virus? Anyone lucky enough to have experienced it? Beside all FIVE of the unhappydehydratedhaunts? Well... it no fun. It's a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions. Nevermind the 'ol "To flush... or not to flush?". It's been more like: "To sit... or not to sit?". You know what I mean. Let me give you a little tip which does not fall under the category of Mel's Drinkin' Tips... but is a handy one nonetheless. It's ALWAYS safer to sit. ALWAYS. 'Cause you CAN throw up in the waste basket. Not so much the other way around. Capish? The tale began with Tommy followed by Calvin, Me, Beth and, now, Big Baby Man Mel. And, after a good 48 hrs of not eating or drinking a drop (and no plans to do so, either, in the near future) you could blow me over with a good solid sneeze. There is an upside to this story, though. Ain't there always? Yes. DH has a NEW nickname. Uhhh huh. It's "Smithers". Like from the Simpsons. As is: " Smithers! Release the robotic Richard Simmons!" and " Smithers! For attempting to kill me, I'm giving you a five percent pay cut!"... and, now, my own take on it: "Smithers! Prop my wasted body up and cram another Gravol between my cold dry lips!" And "Yes, quickly Smithers! And, now, swallow for me." Yes. I now call DH "Smithers". The downside of this hilarity is that I look a little frail, about five pounds lighter and very pale. Kinda like Mr. Burns. In fact, if I stand in front of the mirror, hunch over, stick out my arms and let my hands dangle limply... I resemble the infamous Monty Burns in Jessica Simpson drag. "Smithers! Come over here and give me a kiss!" Yep. It's Brokeback Mountain here at the 'ol happyhaunt household. And... THE BEST part of all of this madness is that the house is FILLED with strange men. Yahoo! Strangers to bear witness to our misery and stench. I'm pretty sure, now, that this was the third thing I was worrying about befalling us. You know. After the two floods. Maybe someone is mad at me? I've even considered consulting with a Whirlwind Tripper, or two, to figure this one out. Anywho... enjoy your lunch! Here we go:

Day 8, Dec 18: I run up the hill dragging Tommy along for the ride. As I get to the crest I see it! A large wooden paintbrush with a blue handle! Just off of the path beside the bushes. Waiting for me. Us. WOO HOO! " Tommy!" I yell, " What's THAT? Right there on the ground. Beside the bush!" " A paintbrush, Mommy." He answers with the funniest 'what-the-heck-is-with-my-big-Mommy-Boss' look. Still doesn't understand what this means, I see. "Well... pick it up, Promdate!" He does. And I do my dance I call "Shakin'-ALL-the-junk-in-my-trunk"! Followed by the victorious "Running-in-a-circle-like-my-feet-are-on-FIRE" Dance. We continue down the path carrying our precious prize-winning paintbrush. I see Calvin running towards me. He has one too. Another paintbrush! WOO HOO! He stops... sees Tommy's and looks at me with an open mouth! "Yeah, BABY!" I scream, "YEAH!" And we both sink to the ground on our knees with our arms straight up and our fists balled in the air. He sings, in his high-pitched little boy voice:
"I've paid my dues, time after time...
We are the Champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions we are the champions
No time for losers 'cause we are the champions...
OF THE WORLD!!!!"
That's when we noticed her. The Wicked Witch of the Tom Sawyer Raft Ride. Not the one from Snow White. This is her cousin. Actually, it's the other Competitive Mom from our little game. See, I told you. Messy. She's standing a little ways away from us with her hands on her hips. She don't look too pleased. Nope. "Excuse me!" that's how she politely starts, " But did you REALIZE that it's only ONE paintbrush per family? ONLY ONE! One. It's not fair otherwise!" Ohhhh oh. Well. Hellooo Mrs. Buzzkill! I look at her. Stand back up. Brush my knees off. " Why no. I didn't realize that. Thanks for the FYI, though. Have a magical day. Yada." Yeah... I actually said "yada". Couldn't help it. To make this moment even MORE magical for her, Beth runs up carrying ANOTHER paintbrush... a red one. Oh crap. Beth is very excited. The other lady, not so much. She stomps off in a huff. She's had it with us dirty rotten scoundrels. Oops. We are the thrifty, greedy, competitive happyhaunts. I tell the kids that I can't believe each one of them found a paintbrush... and with Daddy hot on their heels, even. It's remarkable. This is when DH shows up. He's a happy, sweaty DH. And we all bring our three special paintbrushes back to the dock to show the Raft Captain. He tells us that "There's only supposed to be one per family... you know." Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. Now. We didn't understand that before. But NOW we DO. Thanks all. I suggest to him that I could go back and hide the other two brushes, again, but he tells me that there's no need. He says if the other family does not find one of the remaining paintbrushes he'll think up another way for their kids to win a prize. Ok. Fine with us. So we take the raft back to the TSI mainland dock and are rewarded with our Special Fastpass for either Splash Mountain or Big Thunder. We take Victory Photos and go straight to SM. There's a bit of a line now so this will come in very handy. We show it to the CM and he congratulates us and ushers us through to the head of the line. But I stop. Turn around. And ask him for the Certificate back. He doesn't want to give it to me. This is a VERY conscientious CM. I promise not to use it, again, today if he'll let me keep it for a souvenier. DAMN! He hands it over. We ride SM. Head over to BTMR. There's about a ten minute wait. DH looks at me. NO WAY! I told you... I'm no lyin' cheater. Plus... holy bad example for the three kidlets! GEEZ! DH thought I had it in me, though. We wait for a bit and then ride BTMR. Calvin screams in my ear. Very loudly. Directly in my ear. I get angry. Proceed to lecture him WHILE we continue to ride the rollercoaster up, down and around... wagging my finger and all. Wow. The General would have been proud of THAT. Ride over. I stomp out with my ear ringing. He catches up and tries to give me his 'charming, sorry, love ya' face. No dice. We all decide we're very hungry and we head over to the Liberty Tree Tavern to see if they can fit us in for an early lunch. It's just shorty after 11am. No luck. We eat at Pecos Bills. Tommy falls off his chair. See the dining report if you want to see if he was alright or not. After lunch I put the boot down and insist that it's finally time to head over to Adventureland to do MY second most favourite ride in the Magic Kingdom. Pirates of the Carribean. There's not much of an argument from the troops. They know the lay of the land. Dead men tell no tales. And dead men don't get to ride Goofy's Barnstormer later, either.

To be continued...
 
That is so cool about the paintbrush search! I guess you found out about it on the DIS. By the time our family makes it back to WDW, I'm sure this little secret will be not so secret anymore, but thanks for the tip. Hope you all feel better soon! :wave:
 

I am really enjoying reading this trip report. SOunds like my crew of misfits.

I would like to read the DInning reports however......I can't seem to find where they are. Would anyone want to tell me?
 
DisneyAunt:

Click on "Search" at top of screen. (Do no click on "Search this Thread)

A small box will appear. Click on "Advanced Search"

Next screen: On the right, enter "1000thhappyhaunt" for user name. Then in pull down box below click on "find all threads started by this user" Then.....go down to bottom of the page and click on "Search Now". You should then get a screen listing all of the happyhaunts threads which will include the Dining Reports. Have fun.
 
/
This is another BIG TREAT.
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This is Snow White.
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Piglet.
47b6dc37b3127cce976a73218b6500000015100AauGzVk3YsWIg

Promdate.
47b6dc37b3127cce976a7034cbe900000015100AauGzVk3YsWIg

This is where we found two paintbrushes.
47b6dc37b3127cce976b8a29ebc500000016100AauGzVk3YsWIg

In here.
47b6dc37b3127cce976a76b9cb6700000015100AauGzVk3YsWIg

Not here.
47b6dc37b3127cce976a750d0a7a00000016100AauGzVk3YsWIg

Geez... THIS isn't what I'm looking for.
47b6dc37b3127cce976b8aa1eb4d00000015100AauGzVk3YsWIg

But... this IS!!!!!
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That is the prize for the secret game on Tom Sawyer's Island. Shhhhhh, don't tell ANYONE ELSE! Let's keep it just between the two of us. Promise?
 
Hummm? Lying Tigger... Lygger! I'm a Lygger. Just like Brangelina. Or Tomkat. Or how about... Jeath Ledgeraal. Oops. Sorry. I meant... Ennack Twisdelmar. I could go on for days... but I have a few more pictures for y'all.


This is where we stayed.
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This is it, again.
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This is where we'll be staying next May.
47b6dc34b3127cce9768687aa2ef00000016100AauGzVk3YsWIg

This is it, again.
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This is where we WON'T be.
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This is too scary for Beth.
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This is too.
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This is JUST scary enough for Mel.
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This is too.
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This is my grandma's house.
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This is too.
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And... this is my naughty Cousin Carlos.
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I've got some more to come.
 
Tiggers don't jump. They bounce... and they don't lie. Only Lyggers lie. I'm a Lygger. I think. That's L-Y-double Gr-R. I'm also jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, pumpy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun... ok. I'm done now. Here are some more:

This is Canada.
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This is home.
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This is too.
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This was our WDW home.
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This was too.
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This was yummy.
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This is GONE.
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This is groovy.
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This is pretty.
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This is pretty cute.
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These are the Main Mice.
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These are the Mainlanders.
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This is Japan.
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This is intense.
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This is in tiers.
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You know where in The World THIS is.
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Now tell me... where in The World is THIS?
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T-T-F-N. Ta-ta for now.
 
Alrighty, I've finally made it over here. You see, it took me a while dry my eyes. Everyone seems to love you more than me, and well, that's a hard pill to swallow.

So instead of crying in my Jeager Bomb, I figured I might as well get over here and join the party. Do we drink here or what?

Ok, my first of many comments to come - I've only gotten through line 6, but I love you already. You named your boy Calvin. :worship: I've read more Calvin and Hobbes strips while sitting on the throne than I can count. I love that spikey haired son of a b!tch.

So, while I scamper off to continue reading, I leave you with this...

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vettechick99 said:
Alrighty, I've finally made it over here. You see, it took me a while dry my eyes. Everyone seems to love you more than me, and well, that's a hard pill to swallow.

So instead of crying in my Jeager Bomb, I figured I might as well get over here and join the party. Do we drink here or what?

Ok, my first of many comments to come - I've only gotten through line 6, but I love you already. You named your boy Calvin. :worship: I've read more Calvin and Hobbes strips while sitting on the throne than I can count. I love that spikey haired son of a b!tch.

So, while I scamper off to continue reading, I leave you with this...

buslogo.gif

::yes::

:drinking1 - They are the MargaritaShipwreckdrinkingwhilevacationingwiththechildrenHappyhaunts. ;)

She's a hoot, wait till you get through all the parts. :eek:
 
Day 8, Dec 18: After our early lunch at Pecos Bills we walk the rest of the way through Frontierland heading towards Adventureland. Tommy and I go and wait in line for pictures with Woody and Jessie while DH, Beth and Calvin go and play at the Shootin' Gallery for a bit. We hook back up and I decide I need to punish myself for the three greedy paintbrushes bit and slap on my portable instrument of torture. Yes. I decide to wear the Tigger Ears again for the duration of our time in the Magic Kingdom. And I want to get all spiffy for my SECOND favourite ride. So, with the Big Boss Mommy MEL (me... this time!) in the lead we head quickly towards that classic ride they call Pirates of the Caribbean. Or is it... carribean? No... I think that it's Caribbean. Anyway. Wow. The happyhaunts have made it OUT of Frontierland! How exciting for us! And, it's doubly exciting, because it's Pirate Time. 'Cause EVERYONE loves Pirates. Right? Well... I do anyhow. While browsing through these Disboards, here, I've noticed that a lot of you Disladies have a bit of a preoccupation with the whole Prince and Princess thing. You love the stories. The whole fairytale wholesomeness and beauty of the Disney ideal. True love. A prince for every princess. It's a perfect romantic fantasy. For most. Well... I have my own ideal too. It's a little different, though. I call it The Pirate and the Wench Fantasy. Not as wholesome as the Prince and Princess one. Granted. And I don't think Walt would approve. However, it's mine. What can I say? I'm much more of a Pirate Lover than a Prince Lover. Princes are handsome, brave, noble and, let's face facts... pretty darn SISSIFIED. They're good-looking sissy men. They don't even have masculine NAMES. Princes are practically girls. There. I said it. Deal. Give me an ugly man any day... over a Prince. Like Steve Buscemi for example. Now THAT is one sexy man! Mean it! He really turns me on. Somehow. Just does. But Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Orlando Bloom... not so much. Too pretty I think. Give me Joaquin Phoenix, Russell Crowe or Alan Rickman, instead. 'Cause I don't like beautiful men. Granted... there have been one or two exceptions, to my rule, in my lifetime. But we're generalizing here. So Pirates fit the bill for me. They're ugly, brutal, dirty, mean and DAMMITT... THEY'RE MEN! Not frilly, crown-sporting equestrians. No offense intended. I think. And pirates also have their own cool language, as well. They begin every sentence with the word "Yarrr", or "Arrrggghhh!" when REALLY excited... or "Garrrr!" when annoyed or upset. Plus they have really nifty exclamations like "Avost Ye!", "Shiver me timbers" and "Ye scurvy dogs!". But, most importantly, pirates know the difference between the Poop Deck and the Head of the ship. Let me tell all you landlubbers, you better get the difference between those two sorted out before you sail or you'll be wearing a hempen halter right before you dance the Hempen Jig. Whew! Yarrrr! I need me a Black Jack full 'o grog! Heh, heh. Now... before you get all excited and think I've stepped over the line and am a wanton hussy, remember two things. One: I don't HAVE a line. And Two: We're just talking FANTASY here! Not real life. Because, I can tell you, my big Mel Man is MUCH more of a lady than Captain Jack Sparrow is. In fact, my big Mel Man is MUCH more of a lady than ME!

To be continued...
 
vettechick99 said:
Ok, my first of many comments to come - I've only gotten through line 6, but I love you already.

Wooo HOOOOOO! Hi Ally! I just KNOW we're gonna be friends! 'Cause I think I just wet myself. And I'm pretty sure it's your fault... and not this DAMN virus that I'm getting over.
 
Ok. I have this quirk. When I read trip reports, I like to quote the parts I enjoyed. I think of it as positive reinforcement for the trip reporter. :) So, here I go.

He really, really hates how I grab his arm and drag it over so I can check the time. Especially when he's driving... or shaving. I don't like to wear a watch. I don't need to. Everyone else has watches.

:lmao: :lmao:

As we walk through the entrance to the Poly, Beth and I look at each other with our special secret smile. This is another tradition for us. This one is called "Smelling the Smell of the Polynesian". So we stop just inside and breath deeply. "I smell it. I smell it!" Beth tells me. "Me too!"

I love it, I love it, I love it! I love the Poly and I love it's smell. Thanks for the throwback!

And then:

The parade begins...Then I start to get all teary again. I reach down and grab DH. He automatically offers me his arm with the watch. No, no, no! I bend over and kiss DH. Then I kiss him again. "Mel, I LOVE you! I love our kids! I love it here! Thank you, Mel, thank you so much!" I tell him.

First I laughed, then I got teary. Great writing!
 
1000thhappyhaunt said:
. Just does. But Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Orlando Bloom... not so much. Too pretty I think. Give me Joaquin Phoenix,

To be continued...

Argh. I was just going to point out that Orlando was a pirate in POTC movie, but arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh . I realized that he was in fact the noble sissy boy in that flick. I happen to think he's a smokin' hot noble sissy boy, but my big jab at your too pretty theory has been ruined. Damn.
 
Finish-I laughed seeing the christmas picture during the parade.
 
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